KPAT FM - The Pattyopolis Network

A Taste of India

2008-07-28T08:39:00.000-07:00

An online Pasadena Newspaper posted a craigslist ad looking for reporters to cover most of their local city government and political reporting for the city of Pasadena, CA. Nice enough ad, yes? Apparently, the owners of Pasadenanow.com believe it's going to sound nicer coming from Bangledesh, India, which is where the ad was placed.

Who are they kidding? How the hell is someone that is continents, timezones, and anything else in between supposed to cover politically charged events as well as other miscellaneous street beats from the country of India? And forget anyone international. I can't cover anything from Dallas, Texas when I live out here in California? How much of a trusted source would I be? How detached will everything feel for the local consumer?

And as for the international reporters, exactly what time are they going to make their calls to the local gub-ment and when do they expect return phone calls? I can't count how many times I've been deflated when I've had to make a service call and I know that it's being routed to another international location. I guess we shouldn't be surprised, considering that most of our computer troubleshooting (including parts and supplies), cable TV technical support, and other miscellaneous functions are, too, part of the India outsourcing phenomenon. Now, I'm not some North American Flag Waving Made In the USA type of chick, I just don't understand how customer service can excel when call center operations are not based on or near a headquarters where an escalation, if necessary, can, and should occur, under certain circumstances.

I know it's not just me, who feels totally disconnected when speaking to a representative whose voice (not the dialect, the sound quality) has got that Roger/Zapp (R.I.P.) thing going on. There have been a few times where I have called in for my high speed internet support and they have subsequently told me that my service was disconnected, (when actually, it only needed a reset). It's oddly disquieting to feel like the person on the other end of the line doesn't know what they are talking about, and feel like they don't care, yet, they speak almost impeccable English (even with the accent), and generally do answer your questions. However, there is always a lingering feeling that they didn't quite get the question that you were asking them, and that you might be in for a long term conversation to boot. I also, on a very regular basis, get the distinct feeling that I am in a two to three second time delay in getting my questions answers, no doubt due to the speed of sound traveling literally across the country, which also perpetuates my deep fear that I am giving my personal information to someone who is going to take the money (little that is) and run.

Am I the only one?

Does outsourcing creep you out?

Living in the Matrix

2008-07-16T09:09:00.000-07:00

I am a broke philanthropist.

I am a firm believer of giving. Always have been. Of recent, I have been inspired by Shaq and his desire to bail homeowners out of their mortgage crisis. Though I have my own theories about the adjustable rates and interest only loans, I do believe that his heart is in the right place. He is always thinking of others. Even in his adopted town of Los Angeles, he does his Shaq-A-Claus events, where he gives away hundreds of thousands of clothes and food for those that need it.

Most people, rich or poor, do not feel or believe in that.

When I was a child, before my parents separated, my father was good on that. He is an extremely observant and intuitive man who has a knack for identifying a need. There was MANY a day where my brother's friends would come over, and he would all of a sudden take off for hours with the boys, and then everyone would come back with a new pair of kicks (friends included). I believe, this is where I get my generosity from.

Generosity doesn't mean being a sucka. This is not about this conversation. But it does mean, that most people are in a position to alter the course of some one's life, by a simple gift in kind. Money is relative. Fifty dollars is a fortune to someone struggling.

But, alas again, most people are concerned about 'me and mine'. But that's not how life is. And for people that may say that my unmarried, childless self will feel different when my circumstances change, I say.

That's a dayum lie. Do you know how many miserable, unhappy married folks I know (as well as single). So that isn't a predictor for joy, so save that for the folks that take the blue pill.

Granted, you shouldn't be concerned about others if you're barely getting by yourself, but generally speaking most people at some point, have a surplus in their lives where they can help. And, it's not always about MONEY. If you don't have the tools financially to support someone, use other skills: Be a companion, a confidant. Use your skills (creative or otherwise), to give someone that shot in the arm that they desperately need. Use your love, or time, or support, or communicating. You may have a resource for someone, if in fact, you are not in a position to help in any way. That's call connecting. That's creating a support system.

There is a difference between a handout and a helping hand. And everyone needs that. In our Western Civilization and culture, we are not trained to develop our minds like such; being in the mode of giving, and creating your own communities to become interdependent upon each other. In doing so, we create a strong hand where all of us can utilize each others resources. The Mormons do it all the time. As Don Cornelius says, you can bet your bottom dollar that you will NEVER see a broke Mormon.

What about us? We have the ability and opportunity to do it ourselves. This is what creates your true family and community. What good is our lives and what we have lived to obtain (i.e., the AmeriKKKan dream), if we don't pay it forward, and use our resources to build others lives, as well as OURS.

Otherwise, we take the blue pill and are living in the Matrix. Going back and forth in our routines, making sure that we are set, that WE are okay, and that WE have what we need. And everybody else, well, just get in where you fit in.

Take the red pill.

Question for the day: If you had an abundance of resources (Time, Money, etc.), where/who would you give to?

Addition by Subtraction

2008-05-27T19:47:00.000-07:00

My niece is getting married in July. Her fiance claims that most of what she does regarding the wedding budget, is take some money from another part of the wedding, reduce the cost in that area, and then add it to another part of the wedding budget from some other areas she wants it in. He calls it "Addition by Subtraction".

I couldn't have said it better. But not for the wedding, for my life. You have to lose something in order to get something else that's needed, or wanted, for yourself, so you can be of better servitude to others. We are here to live and to serve, and not to be served. This I know. Now, y'all know I'm not one for putting my bidness out there in the skreets, so you can surmise/deduce what's been cracking in my life, based on what I have learned so far this year:

- To gain love from others, I had to lose it from another.

- When you change the things you think about, the things that you think about will change.

- To have the opportunity to branch off into a new career, I had to lose the one I had.

- To gain strength, I had to show weakness.

- You have to give up being right in and give in to being open to what's right.

- To slay the green eyed monster, I had to fall on my own sword.

- I took a trip to hell and back in order to really know who the Angel of Light is. So, the next time someone tells me to "Go to Hell" - My response will be. . ."I've been there - didn't like it.".

- To experience truth, I had to face where I was not being genuine.

- I can never be bought - or sold. A price has already been paid for me.

- To bring someone closer, I had to let someone go.

- To trust others, I had to have my trust shattered.

- To acquire resources, I had to turn to THE source.

- Don't talk about the speck in someone else's eye when you have a plank in your own.

- You have to get dirty to become clean.

- Pimping ain't easy, but somebody's got to do it.

I'm back. But don't call it a comeback.

What have you, lost, but subsequently gained?

Or, do you agree with any of what I've said?

TKO

2008-03-02T16:26:00.000-08:00

Hey y'all I have been a day late and a dollar short in posting. There are so many things going on with me, both personally and professionally.

Everything and anything you could imagine, has happened to me in the course of six months (Yes, I am in VERy good health, No, I have NOT been a victim of crime, and NO, I have NOT been knocked up).

Other than the aforementioned, think about something that can happen to a girl in a six month period. YEP, it happened. Check out all my labels for the posting, and you can use your imagination about the "what had happened wuz's"

NOT TO MENTION, my current (and hopefully soon to be past) employer has blocked out blogger. Who do they think they are, when is a girl like me supposed to blow off steam? On my own home computer on my own personal time? Hehehe.

Like the Terminator, I'll be back, and when I am, don't call it a comeback.

Miss P.

January Old Skool Joint

2008-01-01T13:56:00.000-08:00

It's Back. . . .Enjoy, cuz you best believe this used to be the joint.

Big Love

2007-12-10T14:16:00.000-08:00

Smart, Attractive, great guy. Met him on the fly. Nice enough guy.

During the course of the conversation (email/im generally). He asks me have I had the opportunity to read Isaiah, Chapter 3 and 4. Me, being me, I was thinking he wanted to offer his own bootleg Bible commentary/philosophicizin that is generally reserved for my Strongs Exhaustive Concordance of the Bible. I told him I may have read it in a church session or some quiet time, but I couldn't recite it a la John 3:16 or anything.

He insisted on me reading it. I told him I would when I got the chance. The next email/IM asked me had I AGAIN read it, to which I figured he was trying to get a message across, so I did read it. Now, for those that are not into organized religion or anything like that, your opinions are just that - your opinions. That's not the focus of this conversation. The focus of this conversation is actually the exact opposite, in fact. It's a guys views on a particular subject. :) Long story long, he asked me did I GET it. I wasn't sure exactly what he meant by that, so without further adieu, here is the (abridged) conversation.

Brother: Don't you get it. It's about having abundance, and that includes being healthy and happy in a polyamorous relationship.

P: ?

Brother: A real man he can handle it ... Remember its not a sin to have two wives but it is to be a hoe . . .

P: I'm COOL on the whole little "big love" thing, but if it works for you, fine. (At this point, I'm trying to figure out how to not talk to him anymore, but my nosey azz wants to know more). And I can't believe you had the nerve to bring up the KGV in this mess.

Brother: As I had the nerve to bring up KJV Isaiah 3 & 4, I'm wondering if the Sister was bold enough to read it. With more then 40% of the Black Women in America single I think the Black women has a big decision to make and its a tough one. Hoes or Wives? Right now the hoes are winning. Check the states. So now what is a hoe ... that is anyone sleeping around without being married, am I wrong ... It seems like Black women would rather be hoes then a genuine mans second wife. In this whore culture the hoe game starts of early and does not taper down until about 55 look around this is a whore culture ... I can have right now as many hoes as I like but legally only one wife ... this whore culture sets the brother up for sin all day long ... thus the average brother has no sincere relationship with God, filled with lies and deception just for some pussy never gaining a full relationship but just some pussy. See we are Royalty stuck in a whore culture ... you seem attentive is this a whore culture? Did you read Isaiah 3 & 4 KJV

P: Puhleeze. I have not problem attracting or getting black men. A good looking woman can get who she wants when she wants it and it has nothing to do with the education level. Save the speech brother. Wrong chick to philosophicize too.

Brother: Empress, (who the phuck is "Empress") You have not said anything contrary to my point. But Sista, having multiple wives is bibically sound doctrine being a hoe is not. So were you bold enough, Black Women? Isaiah 3 & 4. Dis ant no philosophie iza way 4 life, See.

P: I read both the new and the old testament while ya playing and the new testament talks about being the husband of ONE wife, thankyouverymuch, and even if it didn't say that and whether or not someone is a believer, you just spitting a bunch of B.S.

Brother: O' Black Woman (WTF!!) I just had this thought. Can you read Isaiah 3 & 4 for me on the phone later this evening. This is UNSELFISH LOVE! Jah See and know hoes run from the scripture all day long.

P: Are you a five percenter or something?

Brother: The new testement says no such thing. You can have vain imagination of Jesus suggesting that in scripture but it is not outlawed ... So Christ says the scriptue can not be broken John 10 ... the only laws effected with Jesus are the sacrificial laws ... remember he is the Sacrificial Lamb ... It comes down to hoes or wives and the hoes are winning in this hoe culture ... hoes or wives really is the question. I'm a Bible based Christian Old and New testament. What nigga what! Whats real is real and thats going to always be between you and God and him and whoever else. You have to show and prove, see ... sit down and read Isaiah 3 & 4 it spells out who the hoes are. Sister, men are suffering form what most are, they are dealing with porn all day long it on the net for FREE its in the music, the whore culture is everywhere look around hoes get the most props out here but a wife??? ... the hoe market is wide open from 18 to 60 the women are putting in work rough sex just anything they with it, look on Craigs List. Sex is a god given faculty but people are abusing it like hoes. If you were based in scripture.

P: What the hell are you talking about?

Brother: Sister now that is a very interesting question ... I will build on that with u later but in the mean time read jeremiah 2 and 3 KJV. The laws of righteousness reign supreme over all darkness.

**END OF STORY**

The phucked up part about it is, he does have some points, and he is far from dumb. Nevertheless, not a chance in hell he will be getting a date with the Empress.

Another Tale from the WTF Chronicles.

Your thoughts? You have any tales from the WTF Chronicles?

The Crying Game - UPDATED

2007-11-06T12:58:00.000-08:00

Friend of mines. New to the internet dating scheme. He's been wounded in real life. In fact, it's THIS guy. Well, he met some 'chick' online, and they have been going at it (online and over the phone) for three months. Now, whether you've ventured into the internet dating scene yourself, or you know people you have, there is no gray ground. It either turns out to be absolutely catastrophic, or a happily ever after experience. (E-Harmony, anyone?)

Needless to say, he called me today to tell me that he has a number change due to some cell phone drama at his other provider. (Translation: Ran up his bill talking to ole girl). He also called to communicate that he has a new career opportunity, that would require him to train for five months in Houston, TX (He is from the "OC"). As painful as it would be for him to be away from his 8 year old son that long, he kept telling me that would be good, because 'his girl' lives there, and 'his girl' this and 'his girl' that. I finally asked him "Well, I don't talk to you much anymore, and you haven't updated me on ole girl, so what's up with y'all?" to which (condensed version), he says:

- I'm in love. She totally has my heart.

- I am going to marry this woman

- She is my soulmate. I have NEVER felt anything like this before.

- She's the one.

- We are getting married in the Virgin Islands. I want you to come.

- She has my heart. I'm hopeless.

Blog Fam: I have known this man for five years. I have NEVER heard his voice sound like this. EVAH!!!

Now, with all he said, I am thinking, at the same time:

- I've seen her pictures

- Her breasts look augmented

- She always shows from the waist up, and not the hips

- Pictures are bright enough to see, but dim enough not to see ENOUGH.

- It doesn't look like her apartment has any furniture in it.

- I think 'she' is a 'SHIM'.

- All of her pictures are profiles and not straight up looks.

- Her hands are large. As in "These look like a man's hands with acrylic" type of large.

- Email address is Nu Image (WTF?)

He is so far gone that I don't believe that anything I tell him will dissuade him. I believe that this is part of the ploy from Wong Foo. Get him down there so he won't want to look at your goodies, then, go downtown on him, pull a 68 you owe me one, and considering that this SHIM can probably suck a golf ball through a garden hose, that won't help matters much.

I don't want to sound like a spoil sport. However, I certainly don't want him to go down there blind and then come back crushed from some BS. I don't mind communicating the information to him; however, what if the chances are that the SHIM is, in fact, a SHE? Then I've communicated to him that I think his girl is a Ru-Paul rip off, he is going to be HOT, at the least, feeling hurt at the most.

I have considered just sending him an email of love, letting him know that in the world of dating, LET ALONE INTERNET DATING (which I have not tried, but I would assume,) is very easy to exhale. It's almost like folks that write you from jail - people are on their best behavior. They can create whoever they want to be. And to be careful and safe as he travels halfway across the country for love. I almost think that he HAS to go down there, and, if things do not turn out favorably, then that is a harsh, raw, lesson to be learned, and that he can move forward from there. I am hoping against hope that he hasn't met Priscilla, Queen of the Desert, and I will certainly keep you posted.

Out of respect, I will not put the pictures up. I truly hope that he has found the woman of his dreams. I really hope that she is just an exotic, different looking kind of CHICK, but Jesus, Mary, and Joseph, I would be the farm that this person is a MAN!

**UPDATED** I have a friend, who is a MASTER at all things internet related, including dating. I asked his advice about this as well (and showed him the pictures). He didn't necessarily agree with my pronouncement of her being a Wong Foo, but he did say, and I quote: "I don't think this is a man. She looks OK, but something is not right. I added her to my IM and will try to see what the hell is up with this chick". And TRUSS! He will do it. . . He has NO shame :) THANKS, UNCLE B-LOVE!

What Should I Say/Do?

Scenes We Love - November

2007-11-02T22:10:00.000-07:00

I decided to do another take on my Old Skool Joint and throw some movies into the pot. These three scenes need no particular introduction. First scene is aiight, but skip about two minutes into this and you get some classic (fill in the blank). You don't have to be a woman to enjoy the brilliance, the magnificent, the 'realness', for lack of a better word, of this Yale School of Drama graduate. She makes you BELIEVE her character. Few people are able to transcend the ability to do this for me (there are others - Joaquin Phoenix, Denzel, Giancarlo Esposito, Gary Sinise, Don Cheadle, amongst the few who DO). Hey, I don't know what I love more: "You're the Mutha ***** IMPROPER influence!" or "Tramp BIOTCH!" Gotta Love it. Enjoy!

99 Problems

2007-10-29T10:52:00.001-07:00

I think I might end up having to be a whistleblower.

SHE called my aunt the other day, asking for money to put on the books. She's in for possession or solicitation, (or both), through Christmas Eve.

I think that he is going to allow HER to drag him through the mud. She's evil incarnate.

I think that the 'lady' that my friend met over the internet, the one he is falling hard for, the one he sent me a picture of, is not a lady at all.

I am in love with someone and it's an impossible relationship to ever have.

My friend has a stalker on his hands. He met her a week ago, she wants to meet his family and friends, gave him a list of books to read, and gave him a checklist of what he needs to adjust in his life.

One of my friends is very lonely and she covers it well with shiny pretty things.

One of my friends is in love with me and doesn't have a chance in hell of getting with me for any number of reasons, none of which have anything to do with physical attraction.

I think I've met the devil.

Our church is in the process of "Adventures in New Pastors" and it's been a rough road and a rough ride. I miss my pastor terribly.

I look a hot mess because my hairstylist just got out of the hospital.

How do you tell someone that they are alienating you and others around them, even though they are only being themselves?

My car tags, paid in full, have not arrived in MONTHS. DMV says they sent them, DMV (in person) I haven't went too because it's sheer terror, and AAA still says I owe a hundred bucks.

My property owner is nosey as hell, I don't like him and he knows I don't like him.

I have got one more chance to fix something and if I don't I'm screwed for three months, minimum.

People from my former job keep calling me asking me HR questions because they are not getting the help that they need. :(

My friend called me and told me that the Sears gift card that I bought for her niece as a baby shower gift was confiscated by the portrait studio manager because it was invalid.

My brother is missing in action and he owes my mom twenty bucks.

Well, not really 99 problems, but that's enough don't you think? As my mother says, I'm not complaining, just explaining. I'll elaborate on any two subjects you want me to, (subject to my discretion, but you'll have to submit your vote.

You got any problems you wanna get off your chest? Any questions about mines?

The "N" Word

2007-10-04T14:12:00.000-07:00

Don Imus. Rutgers Women's Basketball Team. Al Sharpton. Women's Organizations.

Say all these names together and you will think of the telecast that featured Don Imus and those three words that turned into an outrage that equaled "We're Mad As Hell and We're Not going to Take it Anymore".

Women's Groups all around the country jockeyed for position, calling it sexist most of all. That these women, future leaders in their own professions, were subjected to the crude comments of an antiquated jockey, who, albeit a shock jock, had crossed the Mason - Dixon line and had entered into a territory of warfare.

Al Sharpton & Co. were also in the mix indicating that NOT only were they offended and angry, they wanted Imus to apologize. Others called for (and subsequently received), his job on a platter bigger than the one that carried the head of John the Baptist.

Those Three Words. The words that shocked and angered everyone into a frothy tizzy.

But to most black women, there was only one word we heard.

NAPPY.

The word that has been used in anger, teasing, jokes, sadness, envy, and even pride. The word that chases many women around for being "too black" and haunts other black women for not being "black enough". This is the word that the word Jheri, California, "S", and even Soul Glo were able to mask. This was the word, used in the very self absorbed, non "free to be me" 1980's that distinguished who was good looking, and who WASN'T. And we can't say it was perpetuated by men, I'm NOT going to go there. Some of the worst offenders of this came from women. You can't imagine how many women I've heard be concerned about what kind of HAIR their children are going to have. Exactly where does that come from?

I can tell you myself, when I was communicating what Don Imus said to many of my girlfriends, mostly all of them said with a loud resonating voice "Who was he calling NAPPY?"

It's a word, even know, if used in comedy, or even as a timeclock to you knowing it's time for you to get your hair done, means something to most black women. It means something is WRONG. It means something is askew. It means "fix it". AND, if you think that we have gotten past it, think again. . . Listen in on any descriptive conversation of a generation Y-or Z-er any.given.day for a rude awakening. . .

Authentically speaking, I can't say that I was ever the target of that word, but I can tell you that I heard it enough in passing, describing hair textures for both boys AND girls. One of my self absorbed, narcisisstic friends, now even compares her son's hair to others, and the word "good" and "bad" come out of her mouth on the regular.

Not as vicious in adulthood (but still prevalent) as it was in childhood, the word Nappy generates images of people unhappy with the skin (or hair, for that matter) that they are in, and equally as bad, the notion that the hair shaft is tightly wound and requires more treatment to manage, versus straight, signifies something in a culture that has always has to fight - for an identity and everything else. It signifies something for a culture - a culture that had to be created from the legacy that was originally stripped from them.

There is no clearly defined texture of what represents us - be it Afro-Cuban, Black American, Honduras, Boricua, French-Canadian (Creole), Blasian, or any combination thereof. It represents all of us, and neither should it be a reason to envy or love one more than the other, especially for something that delves into the minutia of determining what is 'good' and what is 'bad' as it relates to hair texture.

So, let your soul glo. . . .

What are Your Thoughts?

There's Something About Mary

2007-09-23T13:30:00.000-07:00

Recently, I had went over to one of the blogs where I am just generally a silent lurker, James Manning. He talks about top tens all the time: Top ten comedians, top ten actors/actresses, etc. etc. This particular time, the post was titled "The Top Ten Celebrities I'm just not feeling".

I was ROLLING! I didn't know which was funnier - HIS comments or other peoples commentaries. In any case, it had been something that I had been thinking about for awhile but never really put the post into manifestation, not wanting to sound like a player hater regarding the people that just get on my nerves (which coincidentally, Playa HATER also corresponds with the initials to my name). In fact, one of my other favorite reads, the artist formerly known as T-Cas, used to go on his various rants and raves regarding these folks, one of which was the singer Joe, to which he has readily admitted that he has no valid reason not to like him. . .

There are innumerable celebrities, that, even though I am by no means BFF's with ANY of them, that there is just SOMETHING about them that I can't put my finger on, that just annoys the hell out of me. Not annoying to the point where I'll put up a blog in the name of extinguishing them from all public rememberance, but just annoying enough where I'll have a comment or so periodically regarding them. You know, annoying, like a chalkboard screech or someone smacking gum. So, without further adieu, here's my Ten Spot, my "There's Something About Them" that works my nerves. True enough these people will forever have more money in one day than I make in a calendar month, so who am I to say anything? I'm P, that's who. Also, my irritation is an equal opportunity employer - you will find a spread of men and women, black and white, Jews and Gentiles.

Kathy Griffin. I don't like this chick. She's not funny, nor is she entertaining. I don't understand her brand of humor and I don't think it's because she's not black. And YES, I felt this way before she made it known that she was a militant atheist and told Jesus to "Suck it" at the Emmy Awards (thought that certainly didn't help her cause). Her faces looks contorted and she just looks mean spirited. Not a fan at all.

Erykah Badu: I expect to get some flack and lose some cool points from this one, no doubt one of them being from Sha-Boogie. I never got into her 'neo soul, sticky-icky, you have understand what she's saying to feel what she's saying hidden meaning shit' that she does. I just never bought the whole Africana Soul sister number one cutting her hair, philosopicizin way about her. Personally, it's annoying. There are a few songs that I like from her, (two, at best, three - Tyrone, Next Lifetime, and some other one I don't feel like remembering). Baduizm: Not for me.

George Clooney: What's up with this guy? He's CORNY. I can't even look at him without thinking about him being on the Facts of Life. He's running on a bunch of hot air to me. Plus he looks like an asshole. At this point, I know my post is sounding like I'm a hater, but I just don't like the cat. He does NOTHING for me.
Eve: She ALMOST didn't make make my list. I KIND of like her so we will just asterick her, kind of like Barry Bonds home runs and the first San Antonio Spurs half season championship win. . . .BUT. . .Something about her smile is really sinister. And, even though I know she grew up stripping and freaking, I think that Hollyweird has really took her by storm, and I don't think she is as soulful as she claims to admit. And the whole glossy gloss appeal makes me do nothing but, well, look at her gloss. Granted, you have to dot your eyes and cross your t's in this industry, and keep with good company - otherwise you'll end up a disgraced owner of Bad Newz Kennels; however, she just weirds me out for no full authentic reason.

Will and Jada: Just a personal thing. He's weirded me out since Fresh Prince. He scares me and I don't know why. I also don't think he's a very good actor. I think he is an OK actor. I think he is even less of a comedian and an above average rapper. She, Jada, Wicked Wisdom Jada, producer extraordinaire Jada, was two snaps and a twist away from a life of oblivion, with notable movies such as "A Low Down Dirty Shame" AND "Woo" before she was rescued by Will. I also think that both of them are freek-a-leeks, but that might me just OD'ing on too many gossip blogger sites.

Aisha Tyler: I'm not sure where she fits in in the scheme of African American actresses. I don't like the 'sister girl' attitude that she tries to reflect. It's inauthentic. I don't like the way she wears her makeup, either it looks ridiculous.

Rosie O'Donnell: I would suppose this is a given; although I know that many people are Rosie fans. I can only say that I think that Rosie is a very, sad, unhappy, bitter individuals that disguises that pain into political and personal rants and raves. I also think that her sexual preference gets inserted in there at will and she also uses that as a tool to ignite unnecessary controversy. I believe that, even though she has very vocal opinions, ANY opinion that is unlike her own is invalid to her, and thus, subject to a round of Rosie Rants.

Justin Timberlake. He lost his card after the Janet Jackson debacle. He's not cool. But he, and the listening audience seems to think so! And he didn't bring Sexy back, even Prince said so! :). And, I just don't like that "I'm Justin Timberlake" look that he has on his face all the time.

Rachael Ray: How many effen times can you make something in thirty minutes (or less) that involves Chicken Stock, and a little bit of EVOO? I don't know how she manages to cook meat and pasta, dessert and a little bit of anything else in the course of that time and everything turns out "YUMMO!". Eew. No thanks.

So, again, even though these people have obtained obscene amounts of money and fame beyond what can imagine, these people, are in fact, on my warm close personal list of "There's Something Not Quite Right" about these folks. I could be as far off as Michael Vick having a chance in hell in getting elected to the hall of fame, or I could be SPOT on.

What Celebrities are YOU just not feeling, and why? Any honorary mentions to add to the list??

Bet on Black

2007-09-17T14:41:00.000-07:00

Modern Day Jim Crow. Any town that still uses the word "Parrish" versus town (which, Lou-see-anna is the ONLY state that continues to do this) is borderline suspect, anyway. Though the appeals court has spoken, reversed the decision on one of the boys, Michael Bell (and the prosecutor suddenly refiled with some other trumped up charges), it's not over.

You can't throw a bone to dogs that are looking for prime rib. Bow wow wow yippe yo, yippe yah.

People get ready. We're on our way to Jena, Louisiana.

We are coming by the busloads. Ready. For JENA. And we're ALL coming. . . .Older people who witnessed the disparities of days gone by, who will NOT let this continue to happen; Younger people who cannot believe that this STILL goes on (they don't call it the 'dirty' south for nothing). Wealthy people who are putting their money where their mouth is, donating their time, efforts, and YES, money for buses so that those who are unable to pay, can come along for the ride. (PS: Oprah: WTF re: Jena. You have Fred and Kim Goldman on your show talking about some "If I did it" BS where the bonghead you got hiding somewhere?

Jena, this will not go away. You can't pick and choose what you want to proscecute. Stuck in a time warp no more, we are coming to polarize, mobilize and immobilize all that your community emcompasses. WE DON'T CARE that you're trying to pull a Jedi mind trick on us, vacating Mychal Bell's case thinking that we won't continue in our quest for justice. You are NOT about to throw our black, brown, and even our white boys down the drain who are socio economically disavantaged, under the premise of the good old boy network. Kiss our ass.

You're NOT going to to distract us with breaking news on THIS ONE, with his foiled attempt at a so called 'sting' operation in Sin City. Nope.

You can play all the games and put all the cards on the table you want, Jena, Louisiana. But guess what.

The get out of jail free card has already been pulled.

We are about to Go Fish.

I Declare War.

As for me, I bet on black.

On Thursday, September 20, 2007, join everyone nationally who support the Jena Six by wearing all black, as they will, as a show of solidarity.

See link for additional information, and how to support these boys, please visit the Justice for Jena Site

This post is dedicated to the Jena 6.

Hell Date

2007-09-09T21:37:00.000-07:00

Tall.Dark.Sexy.Professional Ball Player. The guy who approached me in the mall several years ago. And although the "my knee got messed up and I couldn't play in the pros for the NBA so now I'm playing overseas" line is kind of played right now, it was still cool back in the nineties.

Needless to say, the brother got a date. Not because he was a ballplayer, but because he was cute, not to mention he had nice hands, and I've got a thing for nice hands on a man. Nothing effiminate, but if you are going to be rubbing on me, I would prefer that you don't bite your nails to a quick and give me any more marks that I received roughhousing as a little tyke.

We decided upon everyone's faux-pas Mexican restaurant, El Torito. Upon arriving there, he starts patting his pockets, similar to the way a man would if he was trying to find his keys. After about half a minute, I offer the obligatory "What's Wrong?" comment, to which he says:

"Dammit, I forgot my ATM Card!"

(Insert black stare here)

I don't know what kind of new fool he thought I was, so I asked him "Well, do you want to go back and get it?" He said naw, and that he would have more than enough cash on him. Meanwhile, he's still patting himself down like he's doing a self check for the LAPD.

As we approached the front door, he was beckoning me towards sitting in the bar area. I said no, and he wanted to know why. I told him: For one , I don't drink, and for two, there is plenty of seating available in the regular section. Then all of a sudden, he looks at me with this incredulous look on his face and says:

"What, you don't want no WINGS?? No chips and Salsa?? I got me a taste for some WINGS!"

He must be smoking that good sh**. He doesn't want to pay for a dinner, and he is trying to get us to sit down and have some appetizers to substitute FOR that. After going back and forth with him, I gave into his wing tantrum and went into the bar area, STRICTLY BECAUSE I WANTED THIS DATE TO BE OVER WITH. Needless to say, my appetite was GONE - but NOT his. . . He proceeded to eat those hot wings, chips and salsa like he was one of the children from the Christian Children's Fund. I went through about a thirty minute torture session with him trying to reach over and rub my arms, to which, I gave him frequent dirty looks.

I was totally disgusted. Not because of the appetizers or because I am high maintenance, but because he tried to PLAY ME. And thats not cool. So, anyway, when we get back to his house (I had driven my car over there and we rode together to the restaurant), he pulled up in front of my house, and asked me did I want to come in. Assuming that he wanted me to 'cum' in and not come in, I respectfully declined. He then started rubbing on my legs. I moved his hand away. Then he asked to see my feet.

Hells Bells, why not. Do you know this fool reached over and started sucking my toes??

((Insert appalled look here))

I yanked my foot out of his mouth and grabbed my shoe, and slammed the door on him, never looked back, and didn't lose any sleep over him.

Well, that's not exactly true. . .

About six months later, I left the television on one night, and the show "Change of Heart" came on. You remember that show, don't you? A couple would come on, trying to salvage their relationship, and then they would go on separate dates to see if they still wanted to hang with each other. In my groggy, slob induced sleep, I hear HIS name and HIS voice. I jumped straight up, scared that he was inhabiting my dreams like Freddy Krueger. Needless to say, he was on there, and guess what else.

THE GIRL THAT HE TOOK OUT ON THE DATE, HE TOLD HER THAT HE ALSO LEFT HIS ATM CARD AT HOME, ATE CHIPS AND SALSA, AND TRIED TO SUCK ON HER TOES.

Nasty.Bastard.

Tell us AboutYOUR Hell Date? Anyone you know been on one? Are YOU a hell date?

Lady of Leisure Update

2007-08-15T00:17:00.000-07:00

Hello, everyone. I wanted to give you a hello holla and, based on a few comments/emails that I have received, clear up some things:

1. No, I am not finished blogging. I'm off right now due to the sit-she-a-shun that I talked about in the previous post. And I have been taking care of a lot of stuff while I have been off, the most of which is getting some much needed R & R. I WAS EXHAUSTED! The other stuff that I have been doing, well most of which require me to either be: Outside, in the car, inside, or any back and forth combination thereof. It's AMAZING how many things you can take care of when you are not chained in front of a desk all day, sheeooott. . .

2. Um, NO, I am not taking several months off. Much shorter than that y'all got jokes. Though I am a lady of leisure, I am only a faux pas lady of leisure who does, in fact, have bills to pay. What I look like??? I will say this: This time off has given me the clarity and the focus to determine not necessarily what I will be doing in the NEXT job, but what I will be doing, in general, in the next couple of years. I don't feel like a million bucks, yet, but I do feel like a couple of hunnert grand. . .

3. YES, I have been doing things I don't normally do, or have time to do, and I'll just leave it at that. :P I also know that the black chicks that I keep picking for my pictures are laying down looking like they re getting their backs rubbed. Nice, huh.

Peace, I'll be back in two and two.

Best Week Ever

2007-08-01T11:15:00.001-07:00

This is my last week at my employer. Due to THIS, I, amongst other field HR employees, are no longer required in the field. I am not the only casualty in this. This was no surprise; I have known about this since May. Since then, I have had two internal offers from the company (one as a Staffing Manager, the other in Operations), to which I respectfully declined. This was not an easy choice.

Why, say you?

Glad you asked.

It was because of my fear of flying. Meaning, I have been at my employer for seven years. It's the longest that I have EVER worked for one person. All jobs that I have taken (present job included), have been predicated on any number of factors (Flexibility with school, finances, transportation, etc). This one included (was a 10k increase in base). With that said, I know that the SAFE choice would have been to remain at my employer. The COMFORTABLE choice would have been to retain my service date, familiar surroundings, and wait till the shit hits the fan (and it will) before they restructure the department AGAIN. I'm not saying that it's going to hit the fan because I'm not here - everybody is replaceable. I am saying it because upper management has predicted it and I have been through enough mergers and acquisitions with this company and know how the scheme of things works. HOWEVER, I cannot operate on SAFE and COMFORTABLE. Safe is how you feel when you are in a man's arms, and comfortable is how you should feel in between 800 thread count sheets.

I know that my journey in this world includes taking risks, and although the previous direction of my life has not allowed me to be a risk-taker, I am in a position where I can take a leap. Moreover, I would be 'what - iffing' myself for years had I decided to say (not to mention jacking my black ass out of severance pay).

This is my future and my life. And I am unsure if in fact, that includes a career in HR. All I know is that the seven year itch is here, and my time is up with this company, both literally and figuratively. I also know that anytime one door is closed another one has opened for me, and I would have to say as a result of taken this position, I was probably the only one who was not visibly upset over what had happened (still). It has also been comforting to know that the General Manager of the company sent me an email telling me that he is always looking for good people (which he is), and I am welcome back in his department if in fact I crash and burn (which I do NOT expect).

Do I expect some bruises and scrapes? Sure, I do, that's a part of flying your own aircraft. But I also expect knowing how to navigate better, how to create unique paths, and how to follow the direction of life.

What does the future have for Miss P? So many things, one of which is a new job that I won't be starting just yet. I want to tell all of you that if I am incognegro for a while, it's because I'm being a lady of leisure. I got some things to do, like: Go to the beach, get a facial, eat bon bons and watch Judge Joe Brown, get a masssage, take a mini vacation, etc, without the burden of doing it all on a Friday evening, Saturday sweating bullets to get back so you can get back to work on Monday. But, like the terminator, I'll be back.

For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11

All that I know that starting the week of August 05, 2007, The Best Week Ever, Starts RIGHT NOW!

Tag, You're It. . .

2007-07-27T12:41:00.000-07:00

Dammit, Sha-Boogie. She tagged me, (I jacked this picture off her blog, though), too. She tagged me cuz she said it's because I'm always over here philosophicizin and stuff and wanted to know a little about me.

That's the purpose of me being incognegro on this blog, not to mention that I've been known to be relatively private, (a lil) so this is about as good as it gets, so like to hear it hear it goes, and I have to admit this was a little harder than I thought it would be!

Yeah, well here's the rules. . .

1. We have to post these rules before we give you the facts.

2. Players start with eight random facts/habits about themselves.

3. People who are tagged need to write their own blog about their eight things and post these rules.

4. At the end of your blog, you need to choose eight people to get tagged and list their names.

5. Don’t forget to leave them a comment telling them they’re tagged, and to read your blog.

1. I was little Miss Sugar and Spice, Lynwood, 1976 (insert blank face here). I won because all the other little girls were made up looking like THIS and I looked like THIS. I also went on to be on one the runner ups of the Little Miss California Pageant. Subsequently, I was approached to be in commercials, but my mother got all freaked out talking about she didn't want any former child star children who would turn out to be drugged out and/or children who could be molested on the road, and any combination thereof. There goes my Rodney Alley Rippey endorsements out the window.

2. I generally eat out of one plate, bowl, fork, et al at home. I am used to the feel and the structure of it and yes it sounds weird but you are asking me to list random facts. When I was 12 years old I had a sterling silver bowl that I used to eat out of and couldn't find it for months. Where it went is another entirely completely different post. Bottom line, I didn't eat anything bowl-related (chili, cereal, etc), for months as a result.

3. I have a blog crush and no, I'm not telling who and you can send me emails all you want but it's not going down.

4. In College, I saw someone at my school that looked terribly close to someone that I saw on Unsolved Mysteries and called into the TV station to report him.

5. I am in two magazines as a 'so called' model and won't show them to anyone because I think I look absolutely ridiculous in them, and my mother shows them to erry-boddy. She says it's because she's proud of me but I get the sneaking suspicion that she does to show me "Look what you could have done", even though in my heart, if you knew my momma, she doesn't mean anything by showing the pictures. Frankly the pictures are quite embarassing to me. Because of my height I could have easily made it a career, but frankly at that time I was lazy and broke with no money for head shots and I was still in my "LA Law/Law and Order I wanna be an attorney" kick. Not to mention I didn't really care for it.

6. I know how to ride horses very well. I mean, not to the point where you are going to see me in the thirtieth olympiad on NBC riding in any equestrian events but I can get around on them well enough, at least for a black chick in the city.

7. I usually see what others don't see, but in a macabre sense. Some Examples: Bodies of water with no waves doesn't equal peaceful to me - I always get the impression that there are dead bodies in there; When I think of an all white room I don't think sanitary - I think insane asylum. Somewhat attached: I am a conspiracy theorist who has ideas about: Tony Blair (Anti-Christ) the IRS (not legally allowed to take taxes from us) JFK (didn't really die right away, was sent to an island because he was a vegetable and died years later), etc., etc.

8. Although he is physically not my type AT ALL, I don't know WHAT IT IS, but there is something very primal about Dog the Bounty Hunter that makes me want to give him some.

***BONUS 411*** I am truly, turned on (almost disturbingly so) by men who know how to do what I consider "Manly, Man" things: I.E: Changing a tire, driving a stickshift, changing his own oil, fucking around with cables, installing electrical equipment, general man stuff.

I'm tagging:

NE One who Wants to Join in the Fun. . .

July Old Skool Joint

2007-07-25T09:26:00.000-07:00

Tipping the Scales

2007-07-18T09:51:00.000-07:00

A few weeks ago, I attended a high school graduation. When it came time for the valedictorian speech, I prepared myself for the yawnfest that I was about to hear.

The Valedictorian started talking about everything that she has done to maintain her 4.7 GPA, blah, blah, blah. . .

**Sidebar** WTH do you need to DO to get a 4.7 GPA I will never understand. An A++++?

Anyway, she mentioned how she would study on the weekends, and study all night, on holidays, during other celebrations, etc., etc. Before my head slammed into the concrete from being lulled to sleep, she transitioned into what she missed out on as a result of this: She said she missed many dances, dates, and good times with friends and family because of her incessant study habits. And for that, she said that her life was out of balance. She indicated, that as a result of that, she missed core activities and just general fun that should be mandated as a teen, and, although school is a serious subject, that she took it too seriously, and now wishes that she had created more of a balance in her life. Subsequently, she turned down an offer for one school (Berkeley) to go to another one (San Francisco), because she knew she would fall into the same pattern if she were to attend Berkeley, and that, SF offered more of a well, BALANCE between academia and just living the collegiate life.

She encouraged the graduating class to create a balance in their lives. She flipped the script on them and said that maybe if they PARTIED too much, perhaps they can provide an adequate balance in their own lives by focusing more on studies, and creating opportunities to make time for both. She wrapped up her speech by wishing and hoping the best for the students, and also commenting that she hoped that what she said to them will have an impact on their lives.

I don't know about them, but it hit me like a ton of bricks.

There are a lot of good attributes about myself. There are traits that I have acknowledged within myself, personally, professionally, emotionally, and financially, that are equally outstanding, as well as deficient. I have decided to make a conscious effort to work on the things that are deficient. I don't profess to ever have strong suits on things that I am weak in (such as math); these are not the issues that I refer to. I am talking about relationship and character building. The things that will transition you from one point of your life to another. You should NEVER measure yourself against other people. Only against who you are and who you would like to be. I don't promise to work on them all at one time, and I will no doubt fall off the wagon a time or two, however, Radio Flyer Beware, I'm going to get back on the wagon, and as such, I have decided to commit to the following things.

1. Work and Life Balance. I haven't been on vacation in over a year. And it's not because I'm a workaholic. I would rather be on a boat with music and a book. It's generally because I find other things to do in the area, and excuses where I can allocate the funds elsewhere. I KNOW this is not a good thing and I don't profess it to be so. But I am going to firmly commit to going on one very soon.

2. More exercise. Don't get enough of it. I am a LOT better with it than in previous years. But the issue that generally comes up is the BWH Syndrome (Black Woman Hair); sweat is Kryptonite to our hair. This can be a challenge during your workout regimens, but I can't really use that for an excuse, I have more than enough hair to pull in a ponytail, even though I think I look ridiculous in them, but whatever - it will just have to do. I am looking hungrily to any person that comes up with a way to isolate and contain the sweat from the hair follicles. This person, will in fact become the next Madame CJ Walker in black women's eyes.

3. Being Open. I used to equate being open with vulnerability. But so what if it is? There is nothing wrong with being open, or human, or authentic about what you feel. Keeping it closed in on the inside doesn't change how you feel. No man or woman is a mind reader - and, they probably want to know what you are thinking anyway. And even if they don't it's not healthy keeping all that stuff in.

4. Time management/Scheduling. It's not as if I don't know how to do it. I just don't take the time to do it! :) However, planning your day and your week out for both personal and professional fulfillment often times leaves you MORE open for time for other things, instead of running around like an African Banshee trying to do things at the last minute.

5. Letting go. I believe that's a challenge for many people. I don't harbor resentments against people per se, but I do go on my PH (not player hater - those are my initials) standoffs for people that have tried to throw me under the bus. Anything and everything can happen in the course of one minute (including death), and I don't have the time, energy, or desire to hold onto past things that I can't quite remember what happened ANYWAY, or the offending party has let go of on their own as well. I am not going to be a black woman with issues kind of chick (not that I am), but I'm certainly not going to start any tradition - or create a memory of me being unforgiving. I may, one day, want and need the opportunity to redeem myself - more sooner than later, no doubt.

6. Taking Risks. My teenage years and early twenties were SO serious - too serious (based on some personal circumstances). I didn't really have the opportunity to take risks the way people could - and should do, at that age. I have just recently made some HUGE decisions that will impact my life for the better, but it was, in fact, a risk. A risk that I was not necessary ready to take, but was, ultimately, the best thing I could have done. Someone else who will remain nameless, has also taken a risk with me and on me, and I cannot thank her enough for that. (More on that later).

So, to the Valedictorian of Mayfair High School, your message did get across. To create a balance. And as for THIS Libra, I am now, tipping the scales.

What about you? How is YOUR life? Need to create a balance? If so, in what? (if you are so willing to share. . .)

Mama's Baby, Daddy's Maybe

2007-07-12T12:45:00.000-07:00
In a recent CNN article, a man in Florida is being chased like a runaway slave in order to pay 305.00 monthly for child support.

Appropo, if in fact he were the child's father. DNA test results, as well as an affidavit from the child's mother requesting that the child support be ceased, means nary a dayum for the people in the State of Florida, home of fresh squeezed OJ (Simpson and the beverage), Jeb Bush, the 'Lectric Chair, and Disneyworld, who insist on carrying out the order of over $10,000 in back child pay.

My friend, who works for Child Support Services in Southern California, indicate that the State (of California, and other states), receive money, dollar for dollar, for ever 'successful' support case where funds are collected (male or female cases). Personally, one of my BFF's has actually been on the Sally Jesse Rafael show, (2001) where, he was in fact, officially christened with the term "You are NOT the father".

Father's rights groups are vigorously advocating for mandatory DNA tests for all children, in or out of wedlock. It has been suggested that this would be a preventative measure financially, particularly for the male species to money that will not doubt be difficult, if not impossible, to recoup. They also believe, that this will prevent many men from going underground with bootleg under the table jobs or having a spotty employment history, in an effort to prevent being chased down from Wanda the Wage Garnisher. It is also effective measures if in fact they do find out WHO the father is, and subsequently, have an opportunity to learn about the family history if they choose, both personally and for health related reasons. And, peace of mind.

Other groups (ACLU in particular) believe that this is a basic violation of civil liberties, and that it violates the basic tenents of the fourth amendment when it comes to unreasonable search and seizure. There is one thing, they believe, to get a court order when it comes down to paternity issues, or to voluntarily pay for one, but when getting involved into a mandatory issue that intrudes upon your person, then certain invisible bonds have become broken, and we have entered Big Brother/Minority report territory.

Then there are those who love their children, and vice versa and would be crushed and devastated if the child they have nurtured and cared for over the years, is, in fact, the result of lil Ray-Ray's mama getting broke off after one too many pink panties with her best friend's cousin.

It happens more often than we care to acknowledge (and admit). I wouldn't be surprised if most families of current have members in their family where dark skin and green eyes are attributed to grandfather's uncle on the mother's side.

Mandatory DNA Tests for EVERY child? Yes, No, or on the fence?

Yours, Mines, and Ours

2007-06-28T12:25:00.000-07:00

Deebo: Oh, *that* bike. Didn't know you wanted it back, homie. It's right here. Follow me, homie.

Red: Yeah, it's just like it's both of ours... we just keep it down at my house. .
- Deebo and Red - "Friday"

Recently, an acquaintance of mines and I were discussing their more than likely upcoming nuptials. They have been dating this person for awhile and the direction of their relationship is headed towards marriage. The converversation shifted to discuss whether or not a prenuptial agreement should be put into place.

Background on the friend: Came from very very humble beginnings, to say the least. They value what they have, (as we all should). Sidebar: I know many people who value what they have, but I also know that some of these same folks suffer from delusions of grandeur. But I believe that is attached to traumatic childhood experiences, that often gets in the way of LIFE, because they have not chosen to overcome it, so they compensate with what they have, sometimes ad nauseum. But okay, back to the friend. The person they are considering marrying has a stable job (no home, but hey this is Cali, that's neither here nor there), very loving and caring, and very dedicated to the relationship. Both of them have children that they support.

(By the way, I am purposely leaving this gender neutral in order to keep this as objective as possible).

With that said, there are different sides to the pre-nuptial agreement debate:

The "Just in Case" Crowd: With 50 percent of marriages ending in divorce, and with laws governing divorce varying from state to state, which generally have some guidelines regarding community property. According to Wikipedia, community property dictates that most property acquired during the marriage (except for gifts or inheritances) is owned jointly by both spouses and is divided upon divorce, annulment, or death. And this, ladies and gentleman is the reason why people like Juanita Jordan, Ivana Trump, and yes, even K-Fed make out handsomely during a divorce. It is based upon what was earned during the time of the marital relationship. People believe that if in fact the fairy tale turns into a fairy hell, then there are contractual guidelines that will assist with the subsequent dissolution of the relationship. Furthermore, if in fact, one or the other couple becomes more financially profitable during this period, then, again, motions are set in place to adequately resolve any issues that may come up.

The "For Better or for Worse" Crowd: The believe that you are setting up your marriage on a conditional basis is often tantamount to blaspheming the Holy Spirit. Many folks believe that it is then, that you are watering down your vows to nothing more than a legal mantra of gobbledygook that you have to proceed with in order to make it official. Believing that you are putting your personal treasures ahead of your feelings, the conditional aspects of what one considers a binding love affair can be lauded as nothing more as say, a "bidness" arrangement. And, to the argument that if a person becomes more financially profitable during the relationship, then so be it. It was during the relationship, marriage is a two partner, one way street, and why not, indeed, share in the "Better" factor of the relationship?

Both sides have valid arguments. Both sides, also, have valid flaws (depending on your interpretation or position).

What are your thoughts on Pre-Nup's? Agree, disagree, or on the fence?

And Spoil The Child

2007-06-20T10:47:00.000-07:00

Everyone does it, thinks it, wants it, or hopes for it.

A better life for yourself. An even better life for your children (whether you are a parent or not - can be a future dream). Is there a such thing as excess? Is it relative to your income, or are some things just too much.

Someone told me that Rick and Kathy Hilton were on a talk show, and they were talking about the riches that they provide to their children. Both of their responses were "And so what if we do give them a lot of things? They are our children, and we want to share in our wealth with them." This is, in fact, more of a high end version of what most parents want to do with their children. After all, you are not going to dress like a prince, and your child a pauper? Certainly not (even though some ghettofabulous biotches have been known to do this).

But where is the dividing line? Is there one? In a culture where parents (both male and female) are positioned to work harder, stronger and longer, gifts often times are bestowed upon children both as a result of financial privilege, as well as guilt (on occasion). I remember when I was a child, often times, I got all of what I needed, and some of what I wanted, but if there was something extra special that I wanted, well I had to work for it; help out in and out the house, and do a little more to get it. And subsequently, I would be rewarded with it.

In our ever evolving culture, the must have Ipod turns into the please can I have the video ipod, to the ABSOLUTELY GOTTA HAVE I-Phone. The must have PS2 turns into the GOTTA get PS3. When walking around the corner turns into "take me around the corner", then the times have changed. Certainly, kids needs and requests are no different than the many, many things that we used to beg our parents for, just manifested in an electronic sense.

Do the children today (even as young as kindergarten) authentically know the value of money, and how that, and their credit score, and their subsequent choices thereof, reflect and affect the rest of their lives. Are they taught that with rewards, also comes expectations? I know a friend of mines, their child (11) keeps getting into trouble (talking and performance) at school. Punishment is inflicted, yet, but I don't think they are penetrating the punishment where it will hurt. Meaning, this child excels at one particular sport. I mean HE EXCELS at it and adores it. To the point where he is enrolled in classes, (to the tune of 100.00 bucks a month) separate from his school curriculum, as well as summer camp for the sport. The punishment that has been inflicted upon him is no TV, Playstation, Etc, for a weekend. But then he still goes out to play basketball! Listen, if he can't keep up with his academics, then certainly he shouldn't be allowed to keep up with the sports segment of his life. Yet, he is constantly taking weekend tournament trips, not to mention inundated with new video games. This is no fault of his own. He doesn't have a boundary. By no means am I saying that he should not engage in his craft (of sports), but certainly not at the expense of academia.

Most of what a child remembers growing up is not what you gave them. They don't remember something if it was the biggest, baddest toy on the block. They remember the feelings. They remember the time. And they remember the love?

Are parents overindulging their children? Do kids now have a sense of entitlement?

June Old Skool Joint

2007-06-06T13:39:00.000-07:00

Soul Ii Soul - Back To Life
Uploaded by hakim93200

Freek-a-leek

2007-05-28T21:48:00.000-07:00
I used to date this guy that had a foot fetish.

Now, I know all brothers say they don't want a woman whose feet looks as if they have been kicking rocks. I also know that in classic Boomerang fashion, that the fascination with feet escalated to an all time high.

But this brother was on some different kind of sh**.

This guy had a foot fetish that beats all foot fetishes. I used to work with him (broke working rule 101), and he actually said that he intially saw me from behind. Now, normally, if brothers see you from behind, they tend to look at, well, YOUR BEHIND.

I should have known something was rotten in the state of Denmark when this mofo when he said the first thing that he looked at was the heels of my feet.

The first time that we went out (it was to a coffeehouse). My legs were crossed in the direction that was not facing him. He actually made a special request for me to uncross my legs, and cross them in the other direction, so that he could SEE my feet at a better angle. I didn't think anything of it then, I just thought he wanted to check out the french tip. Later on in the relationship he told me when he was a little boy, that his mom's friends would come over, and they just thought he was the most obedient, friendly child. He said he was just happy because they would come over with sandals on.

Run, Forrest, Run, right? Okay, the dude was fine and at that time I was pretty interested in giving his goatee a protein shake.

ANYWAY. . .Needless to say, after we became involved, and we would participate in, 'extracurricular horizontal activities', the first thing on deck for him to do would be for him to give me an intensive, lengthy foot massage. Now, ladies, I know this is Heaven on Earth, and I agree wholeheartedly. However, it became increasing disturbing that he was getting an equal amount of pleasure (which is okay) in doing this, but he seemed to delight in it maybe even more so than I was!! Even to the point that he would appear irritable if I wasn't particularly ready, or interested in him rubbing my feet AT THAT POINT.

He was (I believe) harmless, and, after all he could throw that "D". Did I mention that he was phoine?!?! However, things started getting out of hand when he would email me and ask me what kind of shoes I had on.

Y'all stop laughing.

This wasn't necessarily the downfall of our relationship (not at all), we just went in separate directions. Not to mention that his increasing requests and unquenching desire for all things feet was starting to supercede his other attributes and quickly became, well. . . ANNOYING.

He eventually married a few years later, and much to his (and her) chagrin, he's been caught looking at women's feet, and, sometimes, confronted with printouts of women's feet (which, in his opinion, the more ORNATE with jewelry, the better) that he has found on the internet.

The boy needs help. But I don't believe he wants it. I think he revels in his sickness. Also in classic boomerang style, he has out and out said that he wouldn't date a woman, no matter HOW FINE she is, if her feet were unattractive.

Now, I won't go as far as saying (in public - hahaha) that I have any fetishes. Now, some folks I would consider having some serious fetishes are people like Marv Albert , who likes to take a bite out of crime when it comes to women, as well as trot around in their panties, and Rachael Ray's husband is just NASTY. What I DO enjoy looking at though, is a man's hands. They don't have to be perfect; because if they are I'm prolly going to get freaked out and think he has a case of bitchitis. But what I don't want, is someone that bites their nails down to the quick. Eew. But on the inverse, I do NOT want someone whose nails on their hands are longer than mines. That's a little too OG pimp Bishop Don Magic Juan for my taste. I also believe that no matter whether or not a brother is blue collar or white collar, your hands don't have to feel like you're a field slave, so I definitely enjoy them to be relatively smooth. Not so smooth whether I question if the brother has ever even changed a TIRE, but also hands not rough enough to cut diamonds, either.

Had to be said, enough said.

Do you know anyone that has any peculiar fetishes? Do YOU have some? Anonymous Posts ROCK!!

Big Brother

2007-05-22T14:23:00.000-07:00

At the beginning of my eighth grade year, we read the short story (tween) version of George Orwell's 1984. This book is no "Are you there God? It's Me, Margaret."

1984 scared the shit out of me. (NOT.TO.MENTION it was 1983 when we read it!)

The book, written decades before, talked about a new world, where your thoughts were limited to what the gub-ment only wanted you to think, and, in fact, the "Thought Police", as they were called, were there to monitor your thoughts, and know your intentions, and even more so, your greatest fears. You were watched by an all invasive "Big Brother", one who was never named, but was technically, representative of all acts that were invasive upon your (unexistent at that point), basic human rights.

What about now? Even if you never read 1984 - Most of you have seen the "Minority Report", which does on or around the same thing. I do want to say, though, I love technology. HELLO, I'm using it right now. I hardly carry cash, I love bill pay/online payments, and if you saw my cell phone you would know that it's has anything and everything on it. Now that that is out of the way, I also want to tell you that I also am a CON-Spiracy theorist and sometimes I get to philosophicizin and, so read at your own risk!. :)

We are living in a culture and where there are consistent breakthroughs in the areas of technology, the sciences, health, and education. Equally as such, these very same breakthroughs are what are enabling our technology to put a microchip in your animal to locate it, (and DON'T THINK children are not going to be next), or being instructed to take cervical cancer shots as a mandatory procedure. We are living in an era where your Ralphs Club card, Visa Debitcard, and all other things electronic track your every pleasure, whim, and even fetish. There is a new machine out that is supposedly able to track what your INTENTIONS are (Minority Report, anyone?). And as for viewing/reviewing your purchase taste, you can't even GO into a department store without them asking for your name/phone number and "Would you like to be on our mailing list?" spiel. Going on Amazon will give you a "Hi Patricia, here's what we recommend for you. . ."based on your previous visits to the site. NOT TO MENTION the Gub-Ment wanting to access your library records of what you have read, under the auspices of operating under the "USA Patriot Act".

And then there is Gmail. Email on steroids. Email squared. Mail that, puts advertisements in your inbox that are comparable to what you have searched for in Google if you remain signed in after you leave Gmail. Even our love/hate BFF Blogger, required you to retain a Gmail address in order to even UPGRADE to the "New and Improved" blogger.

Let's not forget our beloved You Tube. In an increasingly video-hungry society, our thirst has become unquenchable. Whether it's side splitting humor, or the death of dictators, our video on demand taste has reached infinite status and we have, indeed, reached the point of no return.

So, the next time you're enjoying your GPS Navigational System, or whizzing through the pump via Speedpass, or even trolling through the internet. . .Take another look and tell me, Whose Zooming Who?

But hey, what do I know. I thought that Tony Blair was the Antichrist.

What do YOU Think? Big Brother is Watching, or P's Crazy as Hell?

Irrational Fears/Phobias - Part Deux

2007-05-15T18:19:00.003-07:00

One of my favorite posts on her blog was the post on Irrational Phobias. I thought when I was reading it that it was more funny than anything. I want to say I was sympathetic to what people were saying, but the manner in which they were commenting and the far out things that were being said (present company included) just kept me ROLLING for the entire post.

She was referring to things (irrational maybe to US - totally legitimate and valid to those who deal with it) that people just don't like. That which gives you the heebie-jeebies, or, something that, you just can't put your finger on, just gives you the creeps. If you look in her comments section, you would be surprised at some of the stuff that really just gets under people's skin.

Taken from the irrational phobia dictionary. Supa has some personal ones that she picked out on her post regarding this as well; and here are some of the ones that I found interesting:

Botanophobia: Fear of plants.
Chaetophobia: Fear of hair.
Enetophobia: Fear of pins.
Euphobia: Fear of hearing good news. (what the hell is THAT about)
Textophobia: Fear of certain fabrics. (I think this might be me)
Graphophobia: Fear of writing or handwriting.

Okay, you get the point.

My friend was watching the Maury Povich show, and she said there were people on there that were deathly afraid of different things, up to an including: Mustard, balloons, and clowns. She told me that these people would take off running (stop laughing!) when presented with these things that they feared.

Now, I won't go as far as saying that I'm fearful of particular things, but I must admit that I Do have some irrational phobias that have made many of my friends and family chuckle. Supa in particular (and I'm not telling her business, it's on her post), actually talks about her fear of pine cones.

I have another girlfriend who doesn't cook with anything but wooden utensils, because she doesn't like the sound of metal against any of her cooking products. It's not anything that's a scraping sounds, she doesn't like the way it sounds AT ALL. I have another friend who doesn't like how honeycombs look and, in fact, instructed one of the salespeople at our job that she would NOT help him unless he took off that tie, because it was distracting her. Him, knowing how she was, took it all in stride and promptly removed the tie.

My niece doesn't like to see anything that is bundled or bunched together (like a pack of birds, or a bunch of say, teddy bears in one spot). She gets creeped out.

On to me. . .there is only one thing that bothers me. Unusual patterns. My hairs on my arms and the back of my neck are standing up even as I type this.

If you are wondering what kinds of patterns, it's not all of them, but if it is going in a certain direction, or too many directions, or just has a weird look to it, for some reason it just triggers something in my nervous system and it gives me the CREEPS! One such pattern is crop circles. I have heard that the Mel Gibson movie "Signs" is an EXCELLENT movie . . .however, you won't catch me dead watching it because of the crop circles. Now, I can sit and watch an autopsy, faces of death, and any other bloody mess, but show me a crop circle or a wall with too many cracks in it, or some fabric that has way too much going on it in, and I'm NOT going to be happy.

I don't even like typing the word crop circles.
Stop laughing.

Anyway, I know there are innumerable people in the world with their own idiosynchracies. Some people don't like heights, some people can't sleep or eat without certain items, so let us know what they are. . .

Do you or someone you know have an irrational phobia?

May Old Skool Joint

2007-05-14T10:07:00.000-07:00

:) I used to LOVE this song. . . .Still do!

Diva, Interrupted

2007-05-05T23:47:00.000-07:00

With the grace of a ballerina, and the voice strength that matches the physical strength of a Sumo wrestler, Shannon Pearson is THE one to watch. This diva in question has a melodic voice that captures and enraptures everyone in it's vicinity. Moreover, Shannon Pearson delivers the goods in an equally soulful and classy momentum, that has her destined for superstardom.

In frequent demand with many mainstream artists for both studio and live performances, she brings sass, class, and jazz into every note. I recently sat down (read: emailed) and talked with Shannon Pearson, AKA the Sangin Diva for some 1 on 1 "in the know" regarding her professional endeavors.

P: When did you first realize that you were interested in a singing career?

Shannon: I actually think my career chose me! Singing has always been an intricate part of my life. At six years old I had a dream of me on stage singing to what looked like MILLIONS of people. I always had a "pull" towards being a singer/actress/entertainer; however, but society tells you it is an unrealistic dream... I'm glad I didn't listen to that crap!

P: What do you consider was your first ‘big break?’

Shannon: I treat EVERY opportunity to sing, work with another artist, or perfect my craft a "big break". I can't just point to one incident because they ALL are steps that carry me to the next stage of my journey. I try to learn and take something from every experience. There is always an opportunity to have a "BIGGER BREAK" so I won't limit God to just the breaks I've have had so far.

P: You have discussed with me before the difference between working with new booty entertainers versus entertainers who have carved out a solid niche in the business. Can you expound on that, and the benefits to working with the groups that you do?

Shannon: Most times when you work with a newer artist, the record companies believe you should feel privileged to sing with this "big named star that is hot right now" - BUT they don't pay you any money. So you'll be singing with this "big star" but living at home with your mommy and daddy because you can't afford anything but lunch with your friends (meanwhile, bragging about WHO you sing with). Furthermore, a new artist can't TEACH you much - they are still learning themselves. Older artists have been in the business a long time and can teach you lessons that have kept them around 25-30 years. There are MANY things I can say about this question/subject and could go on and on for DAYS, but I will just leave it at that!

P: Many people are unaware that you are a college graduate; please tell us about your collegiate experience and what career profession you were in prior to becoming a singer.

Shannon: Although a good education is EXTREMELY important, I'm not going to pretend like I loved school! However, I am good at ANYTHING I put my mind to so grades were not a problem. (I received scholarships for both music and academics). I became a teacher because "society" says you need something to "fall back on" if you choose any route that is not traditional. And, of course, what do most people do when they get out of school? TEACH! For myself, I think I loved the social aspect of college more than anything. . .like this one time at the Alpha house. . . (HAHAHA!!)

P: You now have a my space page. How is the traffic going on that?

Shannon: Yeah. . . myspace. I will be honest and say I RARELY use my myspace page. I haven't uploaded much music on it. I keep saying one day I'm going to work on it. . . but I'm lying. If anybody wants to help me out with that I would SO appreciate it. Hit me up!

P: We all know about the glamorous aspect of your entertainment career: Tell us about some of the challenges of having a life in that industry.

Shannon: I travel. . . A LOT! Which means that relationships suffer? It's hard to make plans because if a show pops up. . .well you know how that is; if I don’t work, I don’t eat!! Traveling constantly on the road is hard on your body as well. You eat a lot of junk on the road because fast foods are really the most available options. The plane rides are VERY long and hard on your back and joints (pressurization) A first class seat is just not always available- sometimes first is full. And coach seats SUCK!! In truth, I could go on, and on (and on) about the challenges but LIVING a REALITY that was once only a dream, will ALWAYS trump any small stuff. God is good and I am grateful.

P: What advice do you give someone who is interested in having a career such as yours?

Shannon: I'd say surround yourself with people who are doing what you want to do. Learn as MUCH as you can and PRACTICE. I practice EVERYDAY.

P: How can you tell the difference between someone who is enchanted with the industry versus someone who is willing to pay their dues, often longer than they may expect?

Shannon: A person who is enthralled by the glitz and glamour of it all will quickly lose interest. There is sooo much more than the performance you see on stage. It really is hard work and if you don't TRULY love it and it isn't your TRUE passion... you will tire and fade very quickly. Most people think artists are over night successes... but if you ask ANY of them they will tell you it was a long road of no's before they finally got the chance – that “YES”, they needed for the world to hear them.

P: Who are some of your favorite artists?

Shannon: Wow, I have too many to name but here are a few: Nancy Wilson, John Coltrane, Lalah Hathaway, Luther Vandross, classic Whitney Houston, Ella Fitzgerald, Eric Benet, Chante' Moore', George Duke, Jeffrey Osborne, Aretha Franklin Oscar Peterson and Joe Sample. I feel bad because this isn't even a FRACTION of my list!)

P: Are you a songwriter?

Shannon: Yes I am! Songwriting is very important. No one can tell about you and your experience like you can. And if you went through a certain experience - someone else has too. The human experience (told through music) is universal. Here is a song I wrote and posted on my blog: Blogger Fam - Lend Me Your Ears!

P: What's next for Shannon Pearson?

Shannon: I honestly can't say what is next-I'm looking forward to all of the exciting and wonderful adventures that will come my way. I already know my destiny, so the journey is my gift. I am so happy and thankful to God for this experience. I love my life!

P: Anything else you'd like to add?

Shannon: I just want to tell everyone to go after your passion. Don't worry about the money- if it is what you LOVE to do, the money will follow. People will see the passion in your work and support you. Your talents won't lead you any where you are not supposed to be. Don't be afraid-if you believe it -it can happen.

There are those that can sing, and those that can SANG. . .we are bearing witness to one who can SANG - Shannon Pearson. This, is S.O.S. The Sounds of Shannon Pearson~ aka The Sangin' Diva, located at http://sangindiva.blogspot.com.

For further information on Shannon Pearson, you may check here out at http://www.myspace.com/sangindivaslounge - or take the scenic route through my page.

So, sit back.relax.marvel.enjoy. - Fall in love with the sangindiva's voice - as we do over and over again, those who call her friend.

Burn, Baby, Burn

2007-04-26T14:40:00.000-07:00
April 29 brought power to the people, and we might see a sequel.
- Ice Cube, "Wicked"

It has been fifteen years. Fifteen years since the city of Los Angeles was burned, almost beyond recognition. Fifteen years city since the powder keg exploded, since the weeds came up and choked the life out of the community. Since the tears turned to anger, turned to rage, turned to violence, turned to exploitation, then turned to recovery.

We, the citizens of the City of Angels, witnessed it firsthand. It was MORE than anger. It was confusion, frustration, and anger. It was Daryl Gates and LAPD's finest in rare form. It was trying to figure out, at a very young age, "Where is the hell IS Simi Valley, anyway?"

It's not so much important to get into the minutia details of what happened on Florence and Normandie. All of us know them. And it only takes going down one of our many streets that NEVER recovered, where the buildings are dilapidated, or GONE, replaced with nothing but bitterness, violence, and memories of how and why it happened.

Just as everyone can remember where you were and what you were doing during 09/11, or the OJ verdict, we all remember how we felt and where we were when this story broke.

We weren't surprised at the video that emerged when we saw Rodney King. Our thought was "Oh, so now they have it on tape". We WERE, however, surprised that they changed venues, and relocated the trial to bum fuck Egypt, otherwise known as Simi Valley, a suburbian community that is at least 45 minutes outside of Greater Los Angeles. But hey, from a technical perspective what should that matter for us, because there WAS a tape, and there WAS the evidence. Mind you, we knew that Rodney King was a hot mess and probably had one too many Remy's or Sticky Icky's, but what we saw on those tapes was not restraint, it was brutal assault. Moreover, it just looked TOO EASY. . .The officers looked like they were playing caroms with their sticks.

Then, the verdict was announced.

For myself, I was at home that day from work and school. My mother had went to a funeral. I was stunned. The tears burned in the back of my irises. I didn't know what to think. Then I saw what was happening on Florence and Normandie. What they call South Central LA. What we call a couple of blocks West of the 110 Freeway. . .And it just grew, and grew, and grew. The Los Angels Riots ha

For most of us in Los Angeles, everything that was happening was surreal. We did everything, including stocking up on food and water, thinking that it would be a shortage. My School (California State University, Los Angeles), closed up for the rest of the week. There was NO Internet boon at the time, and you only had a cell phone if you were doctor or a drug dealer, so you were glued to the TV, transfixed by what you saw, you were running to your phone because someone paged you :P or you were going to page someone.

It felt like the LA Riots would never end. And, to some degree, it hasn't.

And the grassroots healing began. All kinds of Non Profit (read: Suspect) organizations came out of the woodwork. The "Rebuild LA" project came to the forefront, and now downtown LA has is turning into a major place to be. (anyone who lives down here knows that at this point, you best not be caught dead down there after 8pm unless you're going to see the Lakers). Somebody was somewhere. I know people that were getting their hair braided at the time, I know folks that were DOING TIME, that lived right in the thick of it, and who participated in in. For all of us Angelenos and those who understood across the nation, it was a turning point. Whether you were hurt by it, saw it as an opportunity to rob and steal, or figured it had to be tore down to get some attention, we are still here. We are still standing.

We are, the people of the City of Angeles. We are the Angelenos.

What do YOU remember about the Los Angeles Riots? Where were YOU?

Reversal of Fortune

2007-04-23T16:56:00.000-07:00

If I had a 1,000,000, We wouldn't have to walk to the store
If I had a 1,000,000, We'd take a limousine cause it costs more
If I had a 1,000,000 We wouldn't have to eat Kraft dinner
"If I Had a Million Dollars" - Barenaked Ladies

Recently, I was discussing with a friend of mines the Showtime Documentary "Reversal of Fortune". It is a documentary that trails the life of a homeless man, and his subsequent decisions and purchases he made after he is surprised with a windfall of 100 grand. We then transitioned into the subject of people in our lives who also have had opportunities come their way based on an inheritance, back pay, or anything in between, where they received significant amounts of money that, although not something they could RETIRE with, could definitely be a cushion for wants, needs, and then enough money left to SPARE.

Here are some of the monies that were squandered by friends and/or family. ***DISCLAIMER*** Just CUZ I know these mofos don't mean I spend my money like it's Last Holiday or something.

Conte$tant Number One: A friend I went to high school with, his mother won 100K in the California lottery. Now, although 100 K taxed at a high percentile almost cuts that amount in HALF. . .It was still circa late eighties, and that was a significant amount of money to have at one time. The lady, her son, and her daughter proceeded to go to Hawaii and Jamaica, bought a Cadillac (throw some D's on it), and then remodeled the kitchen. Before the end of the year was out, she had turned in the Cadillac because she couldn't afford the luxury tax for the car tags, bought a less expensive car and used the remaining money to catch up on her bills.

Conte$tant Number Two: A cousin of mines, received 37K from SSI due to, what he calls, his inability to work based on a long term disability. Frankly, he is 26 years old and appears to get around better than a seven year old boy after two red bulls but that is not my concern. Anyway, he received back pay from that, and proceeded to buy five leather jackets for his sister, he bought twenty pair of Eye-Talian shoes for himself, as well as twenty designer shirts for himself. He got all of this from downtown LA. For those of you who are not familiar with the LA basin, downtown LA is known as the garment (read: sweatshop) district, a place where you can buy both authentic and knockoff clothes for a reasonable price. He also purchased a significant amount of bling bling, one of which was the platinum cross. YES, you know what I'm talking about. He did buy a car. That was a good thing. Paid about 10K for it. HOWEVER, something or another happened and the car was towed and he had NO money to get it out. He was subsequently evicted and no one has heard from him. But the last time you saw him he was decked out with some nice shirts and shoes, though. :P

Conte$tant Number Three: One of my mother's friends (who had a child, VERY spoiled, who couldn't keep a job - not to mention couldn't keep his nose clean) received a settlement check of 30 grand. . .Had something to do with her dead husband, I don't remember. My mother was giving her some suggestions on what to do with it, but NO. . .Her son wanted her to invest in his get rick quick schemes. She 'lent' that fool more money for the "World's Greatest Vitamin" "Amway" "Long Distance" and Any other Network Marketing Scam you can think of. She told my mother that "Well, I don't want Social Security to find out about it later on and me have to pay it back. (I am NOT sure what she is talking about). She gave my mom 1K (my mom refused to take it, but she insisted so my mother, being who she is said phuck it and took it). She was going to Marie Callendar's every day, and giving her son AT LEAST 50.00 per day (which no doubt, fueled his drug habit to NO END. W/N three months that money was GONE!

**SIGH**

I don't understand it. I KNOW that everybody has a vice and a challenge to overcome; sometimes it's alcohol, other times it's sex, other times it's food, temper, and anything else you can think of. But blowing that amount of money in such a short period of time is staggering to me. I know that perhaps their socio-economic status may have played a part in how they handled the money (which is what happened with Reversal of Fortune), but I don't want to make excuses in a world where so many opportunities are available and resources to assist you. Being a good steward over money is important to me. I won't say I'm the champion or I always do the right thing, BY ANY means, but I know an opportunity when I see one. . .

Do you know anyone that this has happened to? Has it happened to YOU? What would YOU do with a windfall?

(Of course if it has happened to you, I would expect anonymous posts. :P)

April Old Skool Joint

2007-04-18T11:17:00.000-07:00
This Video Needs No Introduction. And Yes, I had my (VERY MISGUIDED) dreams of being the next drum queen, although I'm sure the men had another kind of dream when it came to her. :)

Habla Espanol?

2007-04-13T10:39:00.000-07:00
In respect to the coastal states, the value of knowing a secondary language is almost tantamount to having a secondary collegiate education. There are innumerable job postings that are listed, where, they not only require knowing a second language, but actually post it in the language they are looking for you to know.

With English not being the official language of the united states, our melting pot consists of innumerable languages (Farsi, French, and in particular, Spanish). The spanish population has imploded in recent years, and, in fact, they are progessing as the largest minority (for lack of a better word) in this country. This land was originally inhabited by almost every ethnicity that you can imagine (Sans European) prior to the Columbus raid, so during that time there were far reaching implications of what was communicated prior to that. This is understood.

With that said, if in fact there is a high latino population (surging and emerging) that would also mean that there are more and more Latinos entering the work force. Because of this, those who do have English as a Second Language have SPANISH as their first language. With that said, if you live or visit any coastal state (Texas, California, New York), even an increasing number of employees are conversing in their native languages directly on the work floor.

The value of knowing a second language is beautiful, no matter which one. Any language is a form of communication (Sign Language included), and to break a barrier with a person who believes that you are unable to speak with them cannot be measured in words. I've witnessed it and it's wonderful. As for me, once again, I'll reserve my opinions after every one has posted.

But that's not the question at hand. . .There are many, and you can respond to any of of them you wish. . .

If this economy works primarily in one language (American English), then would there be a necessity to require employees to speak a secondary language in a work location where the primary language IS English? (With the exception of call centers, where in bound calls come in from people speaking everything from Arabic to Swahili). Has the tide turned where those who have mastered the English language (as most were trained to do in their primary school years, as well as secondary education) came back to haunt many of them? Is it appropriate for any person that speaks a secondary language to carry on an entire conversation in the work place with someone who is unfamiliar with the language? If you went outside of Western Civilization, would anyone care for you enough to ensure all could speak to you in your native tongue? Should everyone just get on the good foot and learn a second language, for their benefit?

How Effective/Necessary is it to Know A Secondary Language in The Workplace? Should Employers Require it?

The Alpha and Omega

2007-04-04T23:49:00.000-07:00

Have a Great Weekend, Everyone!

Friends With Benefits

2007-03-28T16:39:00.000-07:00

Monday, a friend of mine, Tuesday, we played a game, Wednesday, you went away, Thursday, things weren't the same, On Friday, you came back, I wanted to kiss you On Saturday, On Sunday we made love Now what are we gonna do - "Seven Days" - Mary J. Blige

I have had innumerable conversations with both men and women alike on the subject of whether or not they believe men and women can be friends. I have received different replies, many of which are resounding "YES!". And for those who do say "NO" - equally as resounding, they always do list exceptions to the rule, such as a childhood friend and/or a good friend of the family.

Now, we are not talking co-workers here, or my sister's BFF, or my brothers best friend cousin. We are talking about ongoing, lasting, and fulfilling relationships, non sexual, between a man and a woman.

There are those that take the stance that men and women, for the most part, cannot be platonic friends. They argue that, even though there are onesie and twosie examples of the exception to the rule, exceptions prove the rule. There is the belief system that for the most part, an opposite sex relationship comes from: An initial attraction that dissipated quickly (from one side) and the people continued to remain friends, OR, a situation where one pines (secretly) over another person, and continues to be that great BFF until they either think a lightbulb is going to shine in the head of the other person, or that they will have an opportunity to, for lack of a better word, penetrate the best friend from a romantic standpoint. That, male/female relationships are just one person seeing the other one as 'just a friend' and the other person, knowing that they are seen in the eyes of the their BFF as someone that is strictly a confidant, takes the relationship for what it is, and continues to develop the relationship, and enjoy the person, for how they can have them. But BOTTOM LINE, if the opportunity presents itself because, the underlying attraction is there, at least for one. . .

For the argument that takes the stance that men and women CAN be friends, they cite that communication, connectivity, confidance, and comfort break gender barriers, and you cannot help who you feel most comfortable with, sharing your deepest, (and sometimes darkest secrets). THIS IS YOUR BEST FRIEND, MAKE NO BONES ABOUT IT. This is the person that understands you, and can even provide you advice from the gender perspective that you are looking for, particularly if you are looking for relationship advice. They are the people that know about that someone special first, and are equally the ones that hear about the drama, and the pain as well about anything and everything in your life. Yes, even their arms you feel secure in, and so what if there is some underlying attraction there; the platonic relationship is valued so much more, you would never want to cross that line. And that there are truly Will and Grace's of the world.

Can Men and Women Just Be Friends?
Or Do You Believe This is A Pretense?

March Old Skool Joint

2007-03-20T12:30:00.000-07:00

Ice Cube - It Was a Good Day
Uploaded by Macmalus

What's in a Name?

2007-03-15T11:43:00.000-07:00

There are many things that happen when a couple becomes lawfully wedded. They move in together (if in fact, they have not put the cart before the horse already), decided who is going to take the lead in certain areas (finances, etc), and they start the conversion process of becoming one unit.

The initial purposes of a blended family name came from initially the woman adopting the customs of the home that she has been welcomed into. It was a show of solidarity and uniformity. Don't quote me, but I also know that it was also (at least with tribes) a way to idenfity certain tribes/groups of people.

With that said, with an ever-evolving change in (Western) culture and civilization we are seeing a number of different things evolving behind surnames. Here are the options. For the purposes of neutrality, I will reserve my opinion about how I feel about this until all people have commented.

Traditional - Female Surname Change: This is the most common practice of most people for many reasons - religious, historic, tradition, fairy tale-esq. Also utilized for purposes of as to not 'confuse' things, to keep in solidarity with children, and to fulfill, what is often times, a lifelong wish of many women to 'change their last name'.

Modern - Female Blend and/or hyphenation. Often times, linguistic things are lost (ethnic, only child last name) become lost in the shuffle when a woman transitions over to the husband. In a show of solidarity to the marriage, as well as recognizing keeping her heritage intact, she will elect to substitute her middle name for her maiden name, or hyphenate her last name for that reason.

Post-Modern - Keeping the Surname. Most people who do this is for innumerable reasons, many of which I could never support here. It seems prevalent in the workplace with women who work outside the home who have longstanding histories with their employer/line of work, or those that don't align their philophies with a patriach - type structure. Or, they just never got around to it.

Metrosexual - Husband changing their last name. It's becoming more and more popular, either by name change, or blending of the last names. Our very own mayor is one of those people who did this. A girlfriend of mines also indicated that her dude's brother opted to hyphenate his name because the children's names were hyphenated, and he didn't want to be 'left out'.

I have a few male readers - I would like for you to openly express how you feel about this and your reasons (if any) behind the feelings that you do have.

Females - please also feel free to express yourself. I will post my opinions after most have commented.

So you tell me, What's In A Name?

Songs in the Key of Life

2007-03-04T20:32:00.000-08:00
Like most people, I love music. I think in particular, certain songs and/or albums paint a portrait of a particular time span in your life, imprinted in your hearts and minds forever.

But there are SOME albums, that speak for an entire generation; an entire culture. Transitional, breakthrough albums that either put people on the map at that TIME, or created indeliable impressions that, even if you put that album on TO THIS DAY, bring back memories, both good and bad, and words that you thought you had forgotten over time.

I could never, within the scope of a reasonable sized posts, go into all of my favorite albums. Truly, I had a TON of them from the 70's and 80's, but I had to really scale them down. I had to actually struggle to take some of them off, that to which I hope you include in some of your favorites.

So, without further adieu, here are some of all time favorite 'Classic' Albums.

Abraxas - Santana. I love Carlos Santana. His music, his style, and his deference to not only his culture, but to mines. You don't have to know espanol to appreciate the sounds of his music, and to enjoy what blends our cultures together - a love of music. Oye Como Va, Se a Cabo, and the Haunting Black Magic Woman are my favorites on here. VIVA Santana!

Off the Wall - Michael Jackson. BY FAR A SUPERIOR ALBUM TO THRILLER, this is one of those releases that you know EVERY word to EVERY song and enjoy them equally so. Before a commercialized, vitiligo-ized, Michael Jackson came to fruition, this fluid, rhythmic release captures and enraptures the essence of what good music is all about. And, of course, who can forget MJ bawling at the end of "She's Out of My Life?" - or sniffling, whatever you may want to call it. :P

Rumours - Fleetwood Mac. With the powerful leading lady Stevie Nicks (who has one of the most distinguishing, powerful voices of any woman) coupled with a band that, despite personal/professional drama, did nothing but deliver the goods on a release that was spirited, (Go your Own Way) Inspirational (Don't Stop Believing), and Caressing (Dreams), this is more than classic rock. This is just classic.

What's Going On? - Marvin Gaye. I remember seeing this in my home as a child. I enjoyed the music, yes, but I cannot say that I appreciated it until much later. Nor did I realize the social/political climate that this was written/produced/released in. This dynamic release is only eclipsed by the man himself, delivering us songs that are embedded in us, ring true to life even now, and allow us a snapshot into the genius that is Marvin.

Jagged Little Pill - Alanis Morissette. The first thing I heard about her was probably the first thing that EVERYONE HAD HEARD ABOUT - that she was talking about a particular sex act on one of her songs (You oughta know). Me, being me, wanted to hear the song for that very reason. And I decided to listen to all the tracks. This girl has some madd octaves. She can go from screaming like a white banshee to raspy, to sweet. I like her!

The Chronic - Dr. Dre. I don't think I have to get into much detail for this. I remember when this came out. It was smack in the middle of Gangsta Rap Meets MC Hammer Meets C. Delores Tucker Meets Commercialism, meets all things Hip Hop. With samples coming every which way from every music genre imaginable, all that is left to say is "Deez Nuts!"

BloodSugarSexMagik - Red Hot Chili Peppers. My first official foray into what I thought was hard rock, I was hypnotized by their sounds, which to me sounded like rock with an urban flair. I also think I just liked the way the moved around on Give It Away.

My Life -Mary J. Blige. The reason why I chose this one instead of "What's the 411?" (WHICH I LOVE) was for several reasons: One, I think that this was the release that took Mary J. from star to superstar. Two, I remember, I was driving home from work when I heard her on the radio promoting a CD. I promptly went into the nearst record store and purchased it and never regretted it. Three, I think that both her and I was going through many of the same feelings that she is expressing on their at the very same time. Great LP.

Illmatic - Nas. East Coast Rap at it's finest. Pure sounds. Rhythmic. He keeps it gangsta in a philosophicizin kind of way. And he hasn't lost his touch. I was working in a music store at the time this came out and my first thought was "What's up with the lil boy on the cover?" :P But this superior album works because it the subject matters blend, and come from an urban perspective. Nas.Is.The.Man.

Best of Sade - Sade. Okay. I know this is a compilation CD and I am cheat-en, but hell, I just couldn't leave Sade off. You know what she sings, and you know most of her favorites are on here. Had to be said, enough said. Bssides a had a VERY memorable valentines day with this CD playing in the background (or foreground, depending on what position you want to put me in). :P

The Songstress - Anita Baker. The first time I saw Anita Baker was on Soul Train and I was around ten years old. She had on a peach dress and she was swaying back and forth singing "No More Tears". I remember my friend's mother having this album and we played it over and over, swaying back and forth like we were here. Although I love all of Anita Baker's music, I think this one, and the limited songs that are on there, (but powerful, nonetheless), are packed full of pain, love, joy, and redemption. Furthermore, I don't know the skinny behind these songs, but I know you will NEVER hear her perform them in person, and for that reason, I appreciate them on this release more than ever.

Love Jones Soundtrack - Various Artists. See, I wasn't going to put this on here, because I know this post is already long in the tooth. . .But there are so many different artists on here (Coltrane, Maxewll, Xscape, Trina Broussard, Amel Larrieux, etc.) that I just couldn't pass by. I truly love this CD, from start to finish, not to mention the first 'song' is the spoken word that Darius drops on Nina, and the last one is what Nina drops on Darius. It's almost ten years old, but if you can find it it's worth your money.

There are so many more: The Mothership Connection, New Moon Daughter, All Eyez on Me, Appetite for Destruction, That's the Way of the World, At Last, Bitches Brew - Ooh on the TLC Tip. I could go on and on. But now it's your turn.

What are some of your favorite releases of all time?

It's Been A Long Time, I Shouldn't Have Left You. . .

2007-03-01T17:02:00.000-08:00

What's crackalackin? I've had a long and difficult past two weeks both personally and professionally, but I'm pulling out of it.

I'll be back to you in a few. . . And that's real talk!

To give you a room with a view of what I'm going through in the wireless world from an HR perspective, click here for additional information.

Peace!

I Wanna Sex You Up

2007-02-13T12:36:00.000-08:00

"Though your girlfriends a friend of mine
Here's my number and a dime, call me anytime. . ."
Skyy - Call Me.

Recently, a girlfriend of mines (who is a lurker but not a commenter) confided in me about an incident that happened with a good friend's husband. In the interest of keeping track of things, we will assign names:

Michelle: My friend
John: her dude
Becky: Her friend
Mark: Becky's Husband

What had happened wuz, my girlfriend and her dude had an overnight visit to Becky and Mark's house. Mark, Becky's husband, had a little too much likka in him. Michelle and Becky crashed in one room; Mark and John in the other.

Becky sleeps very very hard and Mark knows this. Without going into all the sordid details out there like that, Mark approaches Michelle at three thirty in the mutha fucken mornin drunk as all get out, commences to attempt to feel her up in her SLEEP (her breasts) and then tells her he has been desiring her for years and wants to perform on her in every way possible. He tells her that he thinks she is incredibly sexy and that he knows she is a freak, because he KNOWS she is. She is appalled, shocked, angry, everything in between. Most of all, she is sleepy, and this is almost surreal for her. She told me that he was looking at her in 'that way' that a man looks at you. He was BEGGING her to let him copulate her. What happened after that is irrelevant to the topic (for the record, she DIDN'T DO ANYTHING WITH HIM), just put it this way: She ain't one to phuck with. Her father will blast anybody who messes with her, and her uncle lives not too far from where it happened, and if she told him, would come by and I quote "snap a nigga's neck and keep it pushing". She handled her business, case is closed.
In any case, this incident triggered a lot of memories of similar incidents that have happened to me.

The first one was when I was in the eleventh grade. My friend was going out with this guy that we all grew up with. Since we all grew up together, we all had each other's personal information/addresses, phone numbers, etc. Well one day we were all on the three way (remember this was the S**** back in the day!!!!) , and she had to get off the phone. So me and dude, we kept talking. Long story short, he went on to profess his feelings for me, and asked me could we hook up on the side for some fooling around. I was authentically shocked! It took me a long time before I confronted my friend with this, who in turn confronted him. He denied it. Our relationship was strained for awhile, but after that, we resumed our friendship. She even went to the prom with that cat. Incidentally, a year later we (me and the guy) ended up scrapping over some bull****, no doubt because of the tension of all of this. In this case, I think she believed me; she just chose to get back with him.

The second incident was more on the ADULT SIDE with my friend's 'baby daddy' about ten years ago. . .I went to elementary school with HER, but I went to high school with HIM. When he was trying to reconcile with her, he was coming at her STRONG. One day he called me expressing her feelings to her about me (remember, I knew HIM before SHE did), and then suddenly there was a shift. It went from talking about her, to it's late why don't you come on by here so I can break you off, considering I had a crush on you and your big booty way back when. FURTHERMORE, he indicated that no one had to know, that we could keep in on the down low, and wouldn't that arrangement be great if he got back with her???
((insert crazy look here))
I was floored. I didn't tell her and this was why. . . Everybody had told her about that fool (and he was one). At that time, she was so blinded by him it was unbelievable. See, he had scorned her before and all she was concerned about was losing him. She had received phone calls from others (friends, strangers and Ex's) warning her of his indiscretions. She went on to five years of marriage and two more before she was truly sick and tired of him.
I have had both male and female friends indicate to me similar incidents. I know for sure, that one of my male friends had some of his girlfriend's WOMEN try to approach him on the DL because she was bragging on him being a freak-a-leek, (a definite rule breaker in my book), so she went all out on a smear campaign AGAINST HER OWN GIRL to try and get it on the DL.
Has this happened to you before?
Have you done/thought about this?
(Anonymous posts are okay)

February Old Skool Joint

2007-02-05T22:11:00.000-08:00
This was my JAM back in the day!

Starpoint _ object of my desire

Blackout Ad Nauseum

2007-02-02T07:31:00.000-08:00
28 Days overloaded with jam packed festivities, documentaries, dashikis, annoying office celebrations where you, the resident black girl/guy, is treated better than a field slave, a dash of kinte cloth overdosing, and links to various Mr. & Mrs. Who's Who in Black History has descended upon us.

Truth be told, I like this month, if for nothing other than all of the useful information that I get out of it - most of which is provided for us via internet, TV, radio, print media and all things where we can disseminate information provide some entertaining, and often thought provoking history into the Black Culture, and what has happened over several hundred years.

Without going into a history lesson, the purpose of what was initially supposed to be Negro History Week, was developed to bring insight into what Black Folk have brought to the table, often information which was ignored in history books. It was eventually broadened to extend through the month. Mind you, I understand the initial purpose was to inform and educate, and I truly believe there was a SEVERE need for this, and not too long ago.

However, even though I respect that media outlets that take the time to come up with creative new DNA techniques to determine what tribe you came from in the motherland, and/or providing us with a live slave narrative starring Angela Bassett, and Samuel L. Jackson, why limit it to the month of February? Why are any types of events relegated to the shortest month of the year, torturing others to participate in outside celebrations that they dare not decline for fear of being branded at the very least, racially insensitve, and at the very most, downright intolerant.

365-28 equals a whole lotta other days where all things black have happened, and are equally and important part of the fabric that makes up this country. Personally, I actually benefit from reading online many of the historical, scientific, and entertainment 'firsts' that have occurred within history; but I would prefer that this information be readily available at all times, not just relegated to the front page feel good section of "Today in Black History" on msnbc.com, and then remain virtually ignored (sans Sports, Scandal, and Entertainment) for the remaining portion of the year.

Do I think there are still some discrepancies and some funky things that go down? Hell yeah! Do I believe that people still have racial sterotypes and profiling. You dayum straight.

But I also believe that it's not just Black History - It's history. (I stole that from a Coca-Cola commercial).

Sidebar: Here's some history for yo Azz: Here is a report on the State of Black California - from the California Legislative Black Caucus.

What do you think?

100 Bottles of Beer On the Wall

2007-01-28T10:23:00.000-08:00

This is my 100th Post!!

Y'all thought I was well past a hunnert, huh?

Thank you to everyone who has been a source of inspiration, guidance, and even suggestions. I think all of you write in your own way, and everything is colored with your unique personality, and that's what makes your blog important to YOU. Not because we read; not to titillate our interests, but because that came from your heart, and out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks.

All of us have gained new bloggers, lost a few, been privy to their tragedies and losses, joys and pain, and hell, even seen some folks resurrected from the dead.

Thanks to the regulars, the formers, the lurkers, and, everyone else in between. Here are links to some of my favorite ones: I mean, truthfully, I like all the posts; if I didn't like them I wouldn't have posted them, but you know what I mean - Kind of like your favorite outfit.

Where In the World is My Bluetooth? - Something that would ONLY happen to me!

A Bloggers Tale - Specially cooked up, just for YOU!

Turning Up The Heat - And NO, I'm NOT talking about G. Garvin.

Corporate AmeriKKKa Jargon - A Day in the life of our jobs.

Wind Beneath Your Wings - On Love

Three Years Probation - On Loss

August Old Skool Joint - My first official one.

Trapped in the Closet Chronicles - Y'all Phreaks

The Itch is Here - What do I Do? - Some of my friends are phreaks, too.

Mac and Cheese - What Would Life Be Like Without A Little Family Drama?

You know what? Forget the beer, and the Cristal. . .Pass THIS!

Holla At Your Girl. . .

Anatomy of A Firing

2007-01-19T11:46:00.000-08:00

Dear Isaiah. . .

I think you're cute. I really do. I think you're actually quite Sexy. So do other bloggers. My first post on this site was regarding the Men I love. . .And you were one of them. I want to talk about what is going on with you and the little Faggot fiasco that's turning into your swan song of anything and everything regarding the American Broadcasting Company.

First of all, even though I don't watch your little show, it must be such an honor - and equally a laboring task, to be on the number one show on television, considering it's hard enough for us to get a role on anything. . .NOT TO MENTION: long hours, strict schedules, and a black woman at the helm, who has to answer to ABC executives. Television is marketed towards women, which is why certain women (generally Becky's) get so attached to shows like Sex and the City, Friends, and now, Grey's Anatomy. I don't, but that's because I've never been that kind of a chick.

Surely, during these laborious hours, there are heated tensions, just like any work environment. . .And during that time, things are said that needed to be left unsaid. It happens to the best of us. . .

What also happens to the best of us, is, if we pull a Latrell Sprewell on the job, and then call other people faggots, we get punished, up to and including termination, you see. Don't you know that Hollywood rule 101 is to not say anything derogatory about Jews and Homosexuals? Now, Christians, Muslims, fat people, minorities, and anything else in between is fair game. . .But then, it turned into a mini blame fest, with the character going on Ellen (who else) and confirming his sexual orientation. For the record, I do think that by TR Knight going onto Ellen and saying "He called me a faggot, everyone heard it", that he was acting like a bitch and that should have been kept in-house. . .What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas, okay? But it all kind of died down, and you were removed from the pages of Enquirer, US and Entertainment Weekly.

But then the Emmys came up. Perhaps you felt like a caged animal. Perhaps you were thinking about that steady salary that will make you and your wife independently wealthy. Perhaps you were thinking that the newscaster was hoo-banging on you. I don't really KNOW what you were thinking, but you denied something that you had previously admitted to. Then you used the word again. That's when TR Knight's BFF on the show, Katherine Heigl said that you should just keep your mouth shut. And now, GLAAD is involved. That's bad. That's like anything happening to a woman and then NOW pokes their face in the middle of it. I kind of wish you would have just sat down to be quiet and not say anything, but now since it's out of the closet, no pun intended, it's on, now.

This is about being responsible. I am unsure if all precautions were taken for you to do this. I also know that the leverage and margin that we have for error is lower than a pregnant ant, and I don't think this was exercised by you. I'm no expert, but I personally believe that worse things are said by directors and producers that would probably sting our ears. I'm no expert, so she probably knows more about this than I do. . .But overall, I think you've done it this time. You've effed up good with Mr. Charlie and Becky. I also don't believe that you give a phuck. I think your PR representative did damage control for you, and you already know that your days are limited. I think you should kiss Sandra Oh goodbye right now. I think you're either going to be replaced by a resident brother, or you're going to catch a communicable disease that's going to wipe you and your deep salary right out the memory of Grey's Anatomy. But I also know that everything has a season, and we are forgiving people; so you'll reinvent yourself, show up in a Spike Lee movie, or get cast in another movie eventually. Just not the ABC movie of the week.

I still think you're sexy. Not Hollywood PC, but sexy, nonetheless.

Love,
P
Bonus: **CLICK HERE** for a Glamorous, Pop-Couture blog post on the same subject. (Ironically written the same day, in the same manner and almost the same time as this post!)

Reinventing the Wheel

2007-01-12T10:02:00.000-08:00

Now that y'all have gotten past the picture, you are now free to read the post. :P
Years ago when I was a teenager, (and I do mean years - as in January Old Skool Joint years ago), I thought I was doing something by working 'security' at the 3rd Annual (YEP, I said it) Soul Train Music Awards. I wasn't doing anything but supposedly guarding Patti Labelle and Dionne Warwick's door (read: Gawking over Bobby Brown and Guy). It was there that I laid eyes on one of the finest men I had ever met, who was also on vacation, was in the Navy, and lived out in Los Angeles, who also happened to be doing 'security' at the awards show. He approached me and I gave him my number.

Our relationship didn't quite pan out to be boyfriend and girlfriend/but after our pillow talk died out, (hehe) we remained good friends.

In 1999, he became disabled and is now in a wheelchair (freak accident playing baseball). It was difficult for me to go see him at first, because I knew him to be one way, and then he was now another. It was another good friend of mines who told me "If you think it's hard for you, think what it must be like for HIM". That prompted me to see him.

We were IM'ing the other night, and I had my picture up. I haven't talked to him in awhile due to work, school, and other scheduling conflicts (men), but I had been thinking about him and wanting to see him. So I reached out to him. He told me that he is now driving. We continued on our little conversation, and he's telling me that my picture is taking his breath away, and that I'm looking good ((insert awkward stare here)). So, me being, me, I decide to turn on my web came (nothing sordid, y'all, just so that he could see me), and so once again, we are just continuing on with light banter, me asking about his kids (he's a single father), his parents, etc. Then the conversation shifts. (This is a condensed version below):
J: "So when are we going to go out?"
P: "Huh?"
J: When are we going to go out. Let's go out.
P: "Oh, whenever, I mean it's cool, sure, we can hang out". (WTF else was I supposed to say?).
J: "Tuck your hair behind your ears".
P: "Ok." (I then do it). "Why, Big, J, you can't see my face or sumpin?"
J: "No, I'm trying to find the spot that I'm going to kiss"

((Insert WTF stare on my face, but trying to play it off because I'm on webcam)).

I wrapped up the conversation w/o really confirming a day and time, and that was that. I don't know why I was embarrassed by what happened, but I was.

Now, I'm not one for discriminating. I remember seeing this fine azz mofo at my school that was just ridiculous looking, and he was in a wheelchair. I was looking at him I ain't gone lie. I think I was intrigued as to what happened that landed him there.

But this, this is different. I don't have those kinds of feelings for him anymore. Not one bit. I didn't feel that way BEFORE the accident; I haven't for a very long time. He wants to go out, but I don't know in what manner, and I don't want to have to karate chop this boy. . .And I certainly don't want him to get the impression that I am turning him down because he is in a chair. But my thoughts have been of what his personal life must be like now, what may be going through his mind (his girlfriend left him about a year after all this went down - I don't know WHAT his dating life has been like sense) - I mean, y'all this man is PHOINE; he certainly had his issues of women beating down his door with a stick. . .And because of him, I've been more cognizant of folks that are in chairs, including the guy that I saw at my school, and I started wondering: How many beautiful girls and guys are in chairs and are overlooked/ignored? Are they date-able, desireable, attractive (sexually), and would I want to hook up with one (the male one). I don't have an answer to that, because I've never been in that position. I wonder what would have happened to me had he had this accident while we were together? As for me, and for him, right now, I'm simply not interested.

These people have beauty contests, marathons, dating services, driving, and hold productive jobs and contribute just as we do. It's not uncommon to see them in very good shape, sometimes even better than us!

So, the twenty thousand dollar question is:

Would you date a disabled person? (Whatever the disability may be). . .Would you give them some? Be honest or anonymous. . .

January Old Skool Joint

2007-01-06T23:43:00.000-08:00
This song is 18 years old!!

Video Killed the Child Star

2007-01-01T20:40:00.000-08:00

The days of coming in when the streetlights come on are no more. Waking up bright eyed and bushy tailed has gone by the wayside in favor of glassy eyed and intensified.

Enter the arena of video games. The thrill of victory and the agony of defeat. Kiddie orgasms packaged by way of Wii, Playstation and XBox. An ordinary, extraordinary box that has our children captured, and entraptured in an area that doesn't include dodgeball, kickball, double dutching, and hide and go seek (Hell, I would even take hide and go get it at this point)!

Though the number of children have declined in knowing the symbol for Pi, you have an innumerable amount of children who can tell you how to get to the 'next level' of video games, and who can manipulate a console better than Jeff Gordon navigates his race car.
Sure, I know that in my antiquated state of being, my experiences with Frogger, Combat, Centipede, and Pac Man pale in comparison to Grand Theft Auto, Black, Hitman, Blood Money, and John Madden Live. However, even in my Atari induced age, I knew for sure that I still had a healthy balance between staring back and forth with my black joystick with the red button, and going outside for playing a good old fashioned game of Y.E.S. spells yes and you are not it (FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE).

I don't see this with children now (and quiet as it's kept, some adults). Most children, can carry on a full fledged conversation regarding shortcuts, intracies about the game, and then go online for additional features, and waiting for the next version to come out, that which cost their parents the equivalent of one week's gas. It is all that they request on their birthdays, Christmas, Bah/Bat mitzvahs, and general by the way begging while mom and dad peruse through the shopping center. A trip to your local electronics store will bring you privy to children crowded around the nearest game console, and or, jockying for position as to "who got next". Moreover, you have children who will scream like a banshee if the gaming is limited, or worse, revoked as a result of punishment.

With parents (by often times, through no fault of their own) working more and more, traffic getting worse, and hand held heroin like blackberries bringing you both farther and closer to the workforce, what often turned into an extracurricular activity for the children evolve into their main source of entertainment.

Radio Flyer Wagon, where are you?
Here is a good article regarding Video Game Addiction.

What do YOU think about the Video Game Revolution?

'Tis The Season. . .

2006-12-21T21:53:00.000-08:00

Merry Christmas!

Portate Bien. . .

BE SAFE!

For Better or For Worse

2006-12-14T22:24:00.000-08:00

I had a conversation with a girlfriend about the drama associated with weddings and funerals. Here are some of my pet peeves of the events up to and including the service(s):

I don't like the little dance steps that bridesmaids/groomsmen do coming down the aisle. Just walk, dammit. It's distracting.

I don't approve of tiny children (circa 2-3) being flower children/ring bearers. The poor little chaps have prolly been up all day and virtually all night getting all fru-frood up for the wedding, then having to endure the coos, oohs, and aahs, of the guests as they sashay down the plank that must be a mile long to them. Dog gone near amounts to quasi-torture for the littles.

The only thing that should be large in a wedding is the dowry. Not the wedding party. I could do without the junior bridesmaides, the double ring bearers, maid of honors, etc.

Wedding planners who look more flustered than the wedding party. Aren't you supposed to be the voice of reason, the sound of calm, and the leveler. I would prefer that you not walk around in your house shoes looking ragged.

The "I didn't plan my speech very well and now I am liquored up and so I've talked too much" bridesmaid. Get to the point.

The bouquet/garter ceremony: I never participate in this. You have here a bevy of beauties that are languishing in front of the bride, jockeying for position so that you can claim the title of "I Got Next", yet when the garter ceremony comes along, the floor is scattered wider than a pack of marbles, the men few and far between.

That dayum "new" electric slide. I can't stand it. The one that has the 'cha cha' in it. It drives me absolutely nuts. And you have to focus too hard on what you're doing and the words, Give me the old one, to the tune of "Candy' - a la "The Best Man" which is more fluid and thought-less, and that's good enough for me.

Why is everyone so intent upon watching the family mourn? Everyone wants to see how "his momma, sister, wife, daughter" is going to 'take it'. (I must say, I have participated in this macabre scenario).

Family members arguing about who gets to ride in the family car, what the deceased is going to wear, who is reading the obituary, and who put in on the flowers - and who didn't.

Something about that "Sunrise/Sunset"on the obituary drives me nuts. It's not cute to me. I don't know where it originated but it's annoying.

It bothers me when people say that the deceased is doing what they normally do in the afterlife. "I bet Tim is playing the great football game with Moses", or "You know Mama Jeanne must be cooking up her famous spaghetti for everybody to enjoy". Um, probably NOT.

Little screaming children running around like banshees during the service, and the parent sitting there like the child doesn't even BELONG to them (add that to the weddings as well).

Why does everybody hug, kiss, talk, etc., and say "It shouldn't take a funeral for us to get together/see each other. Let's keep in touch". THEN. . . you don't see hide nor hare of the mofo until the NEXT funeral.

The prodigal son/daughter, who clings/wails/falls out-or any combination thereof, when they view the body, knowing good and well they raised more hell than heaven to the parent when they were alive.

Those are my pet peeves. . . (Thanks, Nicole, for help with the post)

All I Want For Christmas is Christmas

2006-12-08T12:54:00.000-08:00

Why is Erry-boddy so scurred and are so interested in being politically correct? People are breaking their necks, bending over backwards trying to find substitutions for the word Christmas, when in fact, nobody has really made a stink over it. Now the 'N' word, and 'Gay Marriage' - people ARE making a fuss over.

Oh how I long for the days of old where Linus from Charlie Brown mulled over the fact that Christmas was so commercialized, versus the actual holiday in itself it getting dizzolved into a maze of Season's Greetings, and Happy Holidays. All these ads, which are obviously targeting Christmas shoppers, are actually so PC they are bringing a hoard of attention to the fact that the word is being skipped over altogether. After all, stockings are not hung by the Chimney on New Year's Day, nor are visions of sugarplums dancing in your head on Thanksgiving. Cranberry sauce, yes, but sugarplums, no.

Christmas is a holiday, in which 95 of the Americans celebrate. So, why is erry-boddy's panties in a bunch over this particular day? I could go into my own philiosophicizin on THAT but that's not advancing the story. I mean, do you think that telling someone "Merry Christmas" is going to get them so worked up they are going to get the ACLU involved? Hell if it ain't broke, don't fix it. I could go on and on, but I will just summate here (thanks to a very special person who helped me with all of this - now this I knew but I didn't have many of the holidays straight):

Most holidays are result of a compromise that the Catholic Church (I am not Catholic I am trying to get to a point here) made with the pagans in order to spread the gospel. Christmas is a combination of the pagan festival of lights and the Catholic Christ-Mass and later combined with his birth. Easter was the pagan festival of harvest. . .Thus the connection of eggs and the bunny. St. Valentine was a pagan who worshipped cupid and cupid was a warrior and it is not have anything to do associated with love. Halloweeen was the day of the dead to honor spirits and keep them happy to they don't haunt you. . .Hence the connection of scary people dressed up coming to your house, and you giving them an offering for them to go away.

Come on, do you really believe that most of the people that celebrate Christmas the way Christmas is celebrated in it's fullest in our Western society (Black Friday, Christmas Eve, After Christmas Sales), are truly worried about anything that has to do with gold, frankincense, and myrrh?

If you really want to get specific and PC on all the holidays, then let's not stop there:

Change MLK to: "Happy Assassinate a World Leader"Day

Change Independence Day to: "British People Take the Land from the Native Americans, call it their own, and then have a Group of British People Claim it as their own By a Declaration" Day.

Change Thanksgiving to: "Happy Slaughter the Indians and Contaminate them with Diseases" Day

Change Kwanzaa To: "Happy Black People's version of Hanukkah" Day.

Change New Year's to: "Happy Another 365 days worth of Bull Sh**" Day.

I could go on and on but you get the point.

Most people KNOW how I celebrate Christmas and what it means to me from a personal perspective. I take stock in that, let people do what they do, and concentrate on me and mines.

My personal belief: No, the Messiah was not born on 12/25, he was born closer to the summer. Had to be said, enough said. . . but I DO celebrate Christmas, in the general sense of the world, and what value the day has FOR ME.

So, Bah, Humbug to anybody that sells Holiday Trees, Holiday Presents, and Holiday Egg Nog.

Merry Christmas!

The Big Move

2006-12-05T16:23:00.000-08:00

Three years.

Three years with two wonderful supervisors who:

- Cared About Their Employees
- Made sure that Christmas and Thanksgiving parties were a blast
- Randomly bought lunch and/or dinner in for the crew
- Could go to them and get a loan for any reason, interest free, taken out of your paycheck in convenient bi-weekly deductions.

Laid back. Jeans atmosphere. Most of us shared the same spiritual background, beliefs and principles.

All was well in the world, and a good time had by all.

Until the Big Move.

We moved into a building that was twice the size of our former building, complete with a state of the art breakroom, (really - I mean leather couches, mounted televisions, the whole nine). All the principles had their 8 ball in the corner pocket offices. Life was good. But the mortgage was not. It had doubled.
Sidebar: I did not participate in the weekend company move, because I, too was in the process of moving from one location to the other, the same weekend, so I was given a free pass.
So, when I came back from the move, I attributed the fact that I wasn't able to locate my desk to fatigue from my own move.
Perhaps I didn't look hard enough. Perhaps, in the disarray of the move, some of the desks were not assembled yet. I chalked it up to that.
Until I went into the receptionist area. In the lobby. With all of the phones.
And there were my boxes. And my nameplate.
((INSERT BLANK STARE))
WTF? Click on this link to view the EXACT desk, company, and location (I was on the right hand side).
According to the principles, I was to answer the phone for the receptionist if it went over three rings (the receptionist by the way was a lazy son of a *&$#% who never came to work on time, and totally took her time answering the phones)
So:
I was supposed to do the marketing for the company (I designed the silver sign you see), put out the company newsletter, plan special events, pull data queries and reports, analyze data, AND answer the phone saying "Welcome to Nelson & Associates, your source for PVC Pipes" on the third emma effen ring? AND sit with my back to all the Mr. Charlie's that come in the office. Um, Hell no. Strike One.
Second incident: I am nodding in the breakroom (Not laying out on the couch, feet up like Rick James on a Dave Chappelle Episode), but just sitting down on the couch, with my elbow on the arm of the couch. One of the principles came in here and said "No sleeping in the break room" I was like "On the couch?" He was like "No, in the breakroom".
He might as well told me No Parking on the Dance Floor. Strike Two.
Final Call: I was at my desk, helping the file clerk (who reported to me, who sat in the left chair) do something mundane, and in the process of it all, I was trying to take some adhesive off the back of a magnet. The principle passed by me, saw me picking at something and then called me in his office.
He asked me was I filing my nails.
At that point I could care less. I actually moved around to the side of his desk, and told him "You thought I was filing my nails? You thought I was filing my NAILS? I have worked here three years, never call out sick, always on time, and you are harassing me like I'm on parole. Why would you say something like that to me. AND anyway, I have acrylics, I don't have to file my nails." :P
He turned beet red. Strike Three.
But he wasn't mad as me. We moved in there in April, 2000. By August, I made the big move my own self; with 10K more to boot. I myself was raising the bar. I attributed the fact that their mortgage doubled could have attributed to the stress and/or weird behavior, but I don't have to partake in that.
Have you moved on, or are looking to make that big move? And tell us why!

December Old Skool Joint

2006-12-02T20:33:00.000-08:00
I know every word - And I know YOU.DO.TOO!

Fresh Squeezed OJ

2006-11-26T19:52:00.000-08:00

Let's get some basics out the way.

I believe he did it. Whether or not as an a principle, or accessory - details are irrelevant. (Sidebar: Peep out the 'accessory' link).

I believe that he is a hot mess that gives me a headache everytime I see him.

I say all this to say that what I say is not in defense of HIM. It is questioning the rage of AmeriKKKA and their intense devotion, fascination, and preoccupation with Orenthal James Simpson and the subsequent murders that are forever linked to his name, even more so than the Heisman, Naked Gun, and Hertz Rent a Car. . .

Apart from the grief that the Brown family and the Goldman family have to endure from losing a loved one in the most brutal way possible, OJ, and all of the variables surrounding his case brings out the worst in society, where what is said about him cleverly masquerades what is felt regarding: black men and the supposed criminal element that surrounds them, interracial relationships, (black men and white women in particular), and how the racial dynamics of this entire case were a platform for those to discuss how they 'really' feel without discussing how they really felt.

This case is over a decade old. Yet, the mere mention of OJ into a conversation with liberal and conservative Mr. Charlie's and Becky's bring these words to life:

"He is scum"
"He is an animal"
"He deserves to be tortured and bludgeoned just like he did his victims".
"The lowest form of human being"
"Those jurors were idiots".

It is never an intellectual conversation. It churns the clock back, counterclockwise, to October 03, 1995, where lines were drawn on levels that had nothing to do with the OJ case.I have yet to hear a logical, valid argument that sounds similar to this:

"Yes, I believe he did it. I also believe that the prosecution put on a very poor case, and that, in that, the jurors had to make a decision based on holes in the prosecution case"

And, it IS true. The prosecution put on a VERY poor case. It was a circus. It was disorganized, emotionally charged (and a lawyer's projection of such should never be that way, until it is opening and closing argument time). The case could have been stronger, but the DA's office did not take measures to prevent this from occurring. You have two individuals (Marcia Clark, Christopher Darden), who behaved like new booties on the trial floor and petulant children at trial's end - and, have also, subsequently profited richly as a result of being associated with this case.

Switch reels. ROBERT BLAKE, where, not even two years ago, he was accused of murdering his wife, perhaps not the dime piece that Nicole Brown Simpson is projected as in the media, but a person, nonetheless, that left an infant daughter behind. You have mounting evidence that points the way of guilt for Baretta, enough where he went all the way through the trial process. He, too, was found not guilty - HOWEVER. . .

There was no public outrage. . . There were no comments from the National Organization of Women. . .NONE of the matching variables that occured with the OJ case, that virtually turned society into folks that transitioned mass hysterial reminiscent of the cabbage patch doll craze of the 80's

Baretta is now free (no pun intended) to move on with his life.

And then you have this here. . .

The beating of a grown man on tape, where the "Not Guilty" verdicts sparked a recipe for disaster that began on Florence and Normadie. Did this affect people long term? Where is the outrage for that NOW, as that area still struggles to rebuild? When Mark Furhman wrote books, was their outrage from an officer who has turned calling suspect and other people of color niggaz into being a correspondent and lucrative speaking engagements? Is any of his money, or city money, being used to rebuild that area of Los Angeles?

Yet, in the case of OJ and "If I Did It" (which by the way, is ridiculous in and of itself), brings people out of the woodwork, brings the all the racial epitephs (disguised as other monikers, such as 'animal', un-human, etc), back out the closet.

Open Wounds. Fresh Squeezed OJ.

You tell me. . .What angers people about OJ IN PARTICULAR. . .where they don't project the same resentment with, say, any other so called "miscarriage of justice?" Do you agree, or disagree with the statements posted here?

Trouble Standard

2006-11-13T15:50:00.000-08:00

I have always expressed discomfort with double standards. Not because I am this "I am woman, hear me roar", but because I have always believe that it is damaging to both genders. I think women utilize them even more heavily than some men do, often times selectively choosing the standard that is appropriate for their needs.
I feel bad for some of the brothers! They don't know if what they do is seen as overly aggressive, passive, or anything in between, based upon the variance of attitudes that women have (liberal, moderate, conservative). As for the 'fairer' sex (hehe), sometimes we can't feel out way through, seeing one thing and then hearing another, or vice versa.

I couldn't think of a fancier way to say this, so here are some of the double standards that get on my nerves: Those that are not fair to EITHER ONE OF US. I have a lot of the ones that are unfair to the guys in there, because I think they catch a lot of flack from this as well, but it's indoctrinated in our cultures, effecitively psychologically castrating them. Might not go that far, but using the phrase 'psychologically castrating' makes me appear to be somewhat intellectual. So, without further adieu, like to hear it, hear it goes:

If a woman has custody of her children, then nothing of it. If a man has custody of his children, then something 'really' must have been wrong with the mother, (versus him just being the more appropriate one to rear the child).

If a man takes care of a woman and showers her with gifts, he is taking care of business and keeping his woman happy. If a woman does it, she's stupid and being taken advantage of (as if someone can MAKE you do this).
A woman cheats; its emotional; a man cheats, it's purely sexual.
If a man is agressive in the work force, he has a take charge attitude; if a woman does it, she's overly ambitious and a bitch, to boot.
A man opens the door for you, he is a gentleman. But if he encounters a "I am woman hear me roar" woman, she thinks he is being condescending. So, he doesn't open the door for a woman, and then he's considered unthoughtful. (Poor guy can't win).
A girl wears a "Boys Are Dumb" t-shirt; folks laugh; a man wears "Girls are Dumb", he's sexist and ran out of town.
A man sleeps with a lot of women - well, that's da MAN! A woman does it, she's the freak of the week!
If the woman seeks alimony, well, hell, she should, all that she had to put up with. If a man seeks spousal support, he's a pussy, whoremongering gold-digger.
A man dates a younger woman; he can't handle a 'real woman'; a woman dates a younger man, then she's just exploring her options and meeting a mate compatible with her sexual energy.
Woman tries to get in an all male academy - well, she SHOULD be let in, why not? Man tries to get into an all-female academy, well, he's up to something, just trying to make a point, and THIS SHOULDN'T BE TOLERATED!!
If a man is angry, something must have really made him mad; if a woman is angry, she must be PMS'ing.
If a man keeps a woman 'in check', he's controlling. If a woman keeps a man in check, she's being strong, or keeping him in line (or, she could be married to Doug Christie)
Guys 'get' a girl pregnant. (Like he's a sexual predator or something).
Brokeback Mountain? UGH! Beyonce starring in a lesbo movie w/Eva Longoria? Well, that's another story!
Speaking of sexual predators; if a teacher has an affair with an underage girl and get's her pregnant, he's a sick bastard that deserves to be put under the jail. If a teacher (female) does it to an underage boy, then she's bipolar (with a husband named Vili).
Whether or not I AGREE with any of these is NOT THE POINT HERE!!!! (hehe). I'm just sayin. . .
So, Ladies, and Gentleman, boys and girls. . .
Any double standards you've experienced? Have you thought/used/been a victim of any of the above? Open Forum!

"Positive" - Or Negative?

2006-11-07T14:21:00.000-08:00

November 7th is my friend Jamal's birthday. It's also the day that New York elected it's first black mayor, David Dinkins. This is also the day of the fiasco that occurred between George Bush, Al Gore, and the Sunny state of Florida, home of fresh squeezed orange juice, Jeb Bush, and shady polling places.

Those are some of the things that happened on November 07. But what happened on November 07, 1991, - well most of us remember when we were when we heard this - just like knowing where we were when the OJ Verdict and the Rodney King Verdicts, when we heard about the Aaliyah, and when we heard about Tupac Being Shot.

It was Ervin "Magic" Johnson, basketball player extraordinary, face of the Lakers, personality to die for (pun intended), one who adored the ladies and won the admiration of men - it was this Magic Johnson that stunned, paralyzed, and sent shock waves that reverberated through out the world as he announced that he was retiring after testing positive for the "HIV" virus.

We were all stunned. Not stunned in the since that we didn't know how he contracted it, but stunned in the since of:

- Oh, so you CAN get this by heterosexual contact, and not just homosexual relations, dirty IV's, and blood transfusions?

- This is a man, a black man, a strong black man, who got it. Just from being a FREAK
- He's going to DIE. He won't make it to see the hall of fame.

And any other combination thereof.

It made the men of this world take stock - of what they had been doing - who they were doing it TO, and when. It made women's minds race, wondering how much that third drink 'really' may have cost them. The sale of prophylactics skyrocketed; everyone was playing it safe and keeping their noses clean.

Ah the good old days. Are we back in the nosebleed section, now?

With a resurgence increase in sexuality, (both teens and adults alike), and the hedonistic attitudes that pervade our culture, I believe that the message has been lost regarding abstinence, safe sex, or any other practice that is deemed appropriate for your respective lifestyle. It is difficult enough to swallow (no pun intended) the fact that many teens don't consider oral sex 'sex'. Now whether they got that message from Bill's spiel on his relationship with Monica Lewinsky is another story; the fact is, it is so. It is equally difficult to know that there are now more people trapped in the closet than an R. Kelly Video.

This is no gender blaming incident - we are all responsible for our behaviors and actions. Nor is this particularly the forum to discuss whether or not people are 'going to do it anyway', even though you are open to discuss anything you wish. The bigger, prevalent issue that I see here, is that so many people get 'caught up' in what they doing, indicating "Well, it only happened once", or "I've been with them for so long", that there is an ongoing game of Russian Roulette playing, and that the bullet has pieced many who have sung that mantra, and more often than, not, it was that time that "It only happened once".

Most of what we see now endorse sexuality. Videos. . .Songs. . .and everything in between. 16 year old Keisha Castle Hughes, the sister in whale rider, is expecting a baby with her boyfriend of three years. We can go on and on with that but I don't want to overlap messages.

I want to turn it over to you. . .

Do you think that both adults and children have returned to the days of old, being careless and reckless in their sexual escapades?

November Old Skool Joint

2006-11-02T00:18:00.000-08:00

Unbreakable

2006-10-30T09:49:00.000-08:00

"Cuz he ain't no different from you and she ain't no different from me, so we got to live out our dreams, like the people on tv. . ." - Alicia Keys, Unbreakable.

I am a sucker for romance, and the warm fuzzies associated with it. Not in the chick flick kind of way - more on an inspirational sense. In a state where relationships are threatened on a daily basis, and the measuring standard of love, for both men and women, is based on immediate feelings, and NOT the long haul, it is always refreshing to see a couple, older or younger, obviously together for a long time, holding hands, or looking at each other with the familiarity of one who can do that as a result of a long term relationship.

Now, with that out the way, I am going to give you who I think are some of my all time bomb ass couples that I enjoyed watching their relationships grow and develop. Yes, I know they are fictional, play along with me here. . . But I also know that life imitates art. . .

Sam and Mollie - Ghost
This couple impacted me in many ways. It had only been a while since I had lost one of my very best friends in an auto accident, and the whole theme around this movie fascinated me. But the feelings associated with someone that you have a strong connection to, such as these two, are REAL - whether the person has left the earth or not - this is something I also understood. A tearjerker, and a couple who love had no limits. Not even death. :)
Claudine and "Ru" - Claudine
Any-buddy who has seen this movie knows that this is a 'Man's Man' and Claudine is a 'Ride of Die' chick, even before that term came out. This love was sustained through poverty, the gub-ment trying to keep them down, children, and other influences. In 1972, it was hard enough, surely, for a black couple trying to sustain, but they did it, and made it, as Alicia Keys said, through the technical difficulties. One of my all time favorite couples, bar none.
Forrest and Jenny - Forrest Gump
Love is simple. It really is. People make it complicated. We really do. But Forrest didn't. Forrest's love for Jenny was so pure, it was almost painful to watch. He loved her through and through, regardless of her actions and activities (which, eventually cost her her life), and, that, is what made her come back to him (and probably because she had nowhere else to go!) But anyway, I believe that her authenticity in loving him was true, too, and was one of the reasons why she was running for so long.

Jason and Lyric - Jason's Lyric
Ride or Die at it's finest. You could feel the love throughout this movie. And when she was shot at the end, I felt like I held my breath through the entire scene. The love that these two shared was deep, true, sensual, and real. It made both of them grow and trust, and breakaway. And that's why it should do.
Flo and James - Good Times
Sure, sometimes James yelled too much, and sometimes Flo was a little over the top with her emotional antics, but the fit together. Both of them adored each other and their kids, and until CBS television studios decided to act as if a buffonnish character was more important than a father figure, this relationship worked out quite nicely.

The Supercouples: Luke and Laura Spencer (General Hospital), Cruz and Eden Castillo (Santa Barbara), and Nikki and Victor Newman (Y & R)
Being the latch key teenage child that I was, I was totally into Soap Operas back in the day and back in the day, Supercouples were what was hot on the streets.
Luke and Laura: I never watched GH, but I knew for dayum sure who they were. I was kind of creeped out when I found out he raped her, and then they ended up together, but I had to include them on GP because one, there was a song that was made after them, and two, EVERYBODY knows who Luke and Laura are.
Cruz and Eden: My personal favorites. I was a HUGE Santa Barbara fan back in my ABC Afterschool Special Tween years, and the relationship between these two (Played by Marcy Walker and A Martinez) was indeed special. There is a Santa Barbara web site dedicated to fans of the show, and the Cruz and Eden characters readily admit, that, although they never dated, they believed that they were real life soulmates, and that's how come their chemistry was so well on the scene.
Victor and Nikki: The song "I'm in love with a Stripper" would fit in quite nicely here. I havent' watched soaps in over a decade, but I know these mofos are still smelling up on each other - even after divorces, affairs, children, and anything else in between that fills in the soap opera drama gap. When I'm in the grocery store, and I see the magazines at the front counter they are still plastered on the front. . Hell, Victor and Nikki are like Luke and Laura for the CBS soap watchers.
So, who are your "Unbreakable Couples?" Are any of yours on THIS list?

Random Thoughts Monday

2006-10-23T04:47:00.000-07:00

I couldn't sleep , so after I stayed up until four am to watch the Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants, I turned off EVERYTHING, and started thinking about rambling thoughts. And then I turned the computer back on. I'm giving this to you, straight with no chaser, so without further adieu, here are my random thoughts:

Wendy Williams talks too much. She HAS to know that.
There is always one girl that always wins all the fucken games at the bridal/baby shower. What she doesn't realize is that we don't really care that she won.
Hotmail's email program sucks eggs.
I love Spinach. But I won't be buying that bitch no.time.soon!!
Boost and Nextel suck when people are noisily using their two way in grocery stores, restaurants, etc.
P Diddy gets on my nerves. I don't know why.
How come your jam comes on the radio right before you get out the car? And pre-ipod/download, didn't you drive around in your car until the song went off?
Who initiates the electric slide at weddings? And how does it end?
Dateline's "To Catch A Predator" is must-see-tv.
It's fun getting text messages.
Who is Deelishus' baby daddy?
If Obama runs for president, I am going to vote for him on GP
Speaking of presidents, why do we call former president Clinton "Bill", like we are on a first name basis with him?
Does anybody remember Aspen soda?
Little children these days are the most no-going-outside mofos I've ever seen in my life!!
Is ICQ still around? If so, does anybody still use it?
I always seem to get behind the person at the ATM with multiple transactions and/or appears to have never used the machine before.
Remember how cool you thought you were if you have the words to Roxanne, Roxanne?
What happened to Freaknik?
AND En Vogue? (Tam or Glam I am sure have some sort of answer to this).
What exactly does Mr. Star Jones DO for a living?
Remember the 'mini black power' movement of the late 80's, early 90's (african medallions, final call papers, etc)?
Why are the workers at the DMV so grouchy?
Remember when Video Vibrations on BET showed Lovergirl by Teena Marie every.dayum.day?
Where's the AIDS quilt?
Remember when erry-boddy was talking about the Robin Givens/Mike Tyson Interview: "He shakes, he pushes, he shoves. . ." LOL!!
How come when you think you looking hella good you get no play and then people are trying to run you down when you look like hell in a handbasket?
Does anybody think that Beyonce and Jay-Z's relationship closely mirrors the pimp/whore relationship?
Any concurrence? What are YOUR random thoughts?

Operation Negro Search

2006-10-12T12:00:00.000-07:00
Usually I leave topics like this to the expert, but I am curious as to the status of many people, cause celebres in thier own right.

There were those we had high expectations of SuperStar status, those that were fresh new faces, what was cool and what was hot. And then there were the elite that catapulted to iconic status during their tenure in a Jet Magazine/Ebony/Essence fueled era.

Narrow is NOT the gate. Wide is the gate to the many who have been ushered into our lives with great expectation, either as a "breakout" star, or "one to watch".

Here are some of my choices:

After groundbreaking roles in the movie "Angel Dust", and his smoother than performance as Ricardo Tubbs in the critically acclaimed Miami Vice, Philip Michael Thomas was, indeed, our black man walking. With the coolest apparel to boot, coupled with a foray into the music would with his memorable album "Living the Book of My Life", he has a multitude of talents, including his support of the "Psychic Friends Network". With this litany of talent, our community needs you, Philip. Where you is?

First introduced to us as the woman with the lustrous Jheri (or was is an "S" Curl) in the commercials that captured out heart and souls, Ola Ray catapulted to tight blue jean status with her co-starring role as the burgundy lip gloss infused date of Michael Jackson in the international smash video, "Thriller". We expected big thangs, big thangs, from a woman with equally big hair. Where did she run off to?

This brothers descent into virtual oblivion is disturbing on so many levels it is impossible to list. You wonder why this picture is so small. Glad you asked. I can't FIND any pictures of Christopher Williams online right now other than small scale ones like this. Now Christopher Williams - he was ONE for the books. One of those universally fine brothers where even if you didn't like 'that' kind of brother, you thought that mutha fucka was phoine. With a beautiful voice to boot. By the time he was in New Jack City, I was officially hooked. Sidebar: It is true he used to weigh alot and lost weight as soon as he got out, has a baby by Stacey Dash, and is the one that knocked Halle Berry into next week. Please advise.

We saw her as the ghettofabulous woman with a heart of Gold in "Jason's Lyric" the woman who was the confidant and friend of Nia Long's character in "Love Jones", the woman who hypnotized and seduced both Denzel and Samuel L. Jackson in "Devil in a Blue Dress" and "Eve's Bayou", respectively. She is the crazy, sexy, cool homey, lover, friend. However, based on reports of her mental status, she seems to be relishing in the crazy status more than anything at this point. Honeychild, I don't know where you are and what you are looking for; hopefully it's your mind because I heard you lost it a long time ago; come back to us soon.

Although most of us couldn't get past the fact that his lips screamed and yearned for chap stick on the regular, we were all delighted at the prescence of a strong black man on television; one who exuded equal confidence, vulnerability, strength and weakness all in the form of a one hour period, Thursday Nights on Fox. He could get to be a bit much to look at if he wasn't edged up with his hair, but ultimately, we enjoyed his prescence, and a good time was had by all in the short span of the love affair we called "New York Undercover".

Now it's time to turn it over to y'all:
Who would you like to include in the Operation Negro Search?

October Old Skool Joint

2006-10-10T22:18:00.000-07:00
What, Nucca, What!

From the Cradle To The Grave

2006-10-04T11:26:00.000-07:00

Congratulations, you have a healthy baby boy!

The Y chomosome. The determining factor as to whether or not you are bringing a female (XX) or a male (XY) species into the world.

In Nathan McCall's book, Makes Me Wanna Holler, he talks about the very moment his girlfriend gave birth to a son. Where there should have been joy, he felt grief. He felt burdened, and he felt the burdens of his son.

As he should. As professional and educated as men of color are, they are still subjected to violence.

Generally speaking, the element and stench of concern that is passed down is usually generated towards the female population, no doubt in warning of a sexual attack. Often times, you don't see women walking down the street at night, or driving with their doors unlocked, or anything that would provoke random acts of violence.

But our boys do.

My criminal justice professor told me, actually, that ALL men are subjected more to a violent crime than women. Criminals don't look for gender; they look for opportunities. More often than not, crimes are NOT random. However, the journalistic sensation that causes all of us to look a little harder at the ATM, double bolt our locks at the hiss of the wind, and decide to finally take that self defense course is aimed at the rational - and irrational fears, that violent crimes - sensationalized, depicted, and lusted after by the media - portrays.

In two years time, I have known or heard of at least five black men, killed over an argument gone awry, too much liquor, a hit and run, or anything in between.

My hairdressers brother was at a party and was murdered while someone was shooting as someone else.
My friend's nephew was murdered over cross words to someone else.
A guy I went to high school with and his girlfriend were killed by her ex boyfriend.
And so on and so on.
I say all this to say, that violence pervades our culture. And for those that say education is the key, I beg to differ. Sure, life is a choice. And there are those that grew up less fortunate that have paved a way for theirselves, as well as those that grew up silver spooned and turned out to be hot messes. However, we are a more educated culture then we ever have been, yet the things that invade our homes via the evening news and/or cnn.com that cause all of us shock and dismay have accelerated over the past few decades. That sounds like a moral fabric issue more than an educated issue, but that's another subject.

My intent is not to switch reels, so I won't. My concern, however, are what is happening to our men, our co leaders in this world, in a place where changing a tire can cost them their life. We add layers to it when there are socio economic factors involved. Where a choice that one makes is predicated on finances and emotional conditions. Trust me when I tell you that I am one for personal responsbility, but I often know that the role of a parent is one of encouragement, and if you can't get over that first hurdle, sometimes, the tangled web that you weave, cannot be unraveled.

I heart for our black men. I heart for all of our boys. I want them to succeed. I want them to lead. I want them to love, and I want them to live.

What do You See In The Future of Our Young Black Men?

This is dedicated to all of our menfolk: The strong, the powerful, the invincible, the loving, the babymakers, the comforters, the keepers, the spirtual guiders, the ones that make us laugh (and cry), the ones that throw down, the ones that say 'baby' and make us melt, AND to the ones that we have loved and lost - to the streets, and to the grave.

Recharging the Battery

2006-09-24T15:43:00.000-07:00

Things were starting to get a little stressful at the Corporate Slave Ship. . .

BUT LOOK, I ESCAPED, Y'ALL!!

I am back in a Little Over a Week, yo. . . Enjoy this and the previous posts. . .Portate Bien!!

Fade to Black

2006-09-19T12:40:00.000-07:00

You would think that I wouldn't have to talk about this. . .

Is there still a pervasive, subconcious attitude that exists regarding skin complextion, hair textures, and the like? Are these projections introduced in early childhood development, and then ultimately cemented in our adolescent stages?

Have both our darker and lighter halves suffered the consequences of the skin they are in, either made to believe that one or the other is superior, subject to each's interpretation of beauty? Or even worse, have they been washed in the skin cycle of being ashamed of their lighter/darker persuasions to the point where it affect all that is around them, up to and including choosing a mate to, shall we say, even things out a bit? Are hair textures (AKA "Good Hair") still secretly envied and desired or straight lusted after?

That which might solidify our classic model of what is idenfitied as beautiful. Are there built in sterotypes that wreak havoc in our lives from day one. I remember one time a friend and I did an experiment (early nineties, y'all), and we noticed that in many of the videos, that they would show the asses of the darker girls, and the faces of the lighter ones. . .Whether or not this has changed significantly from those days, I couldn't tell you.
In this Post Imitation of Life phase of our culture, what do we expect when it comes to beauty. Certainly, during the early part of the 20th century, passing became a phenomenon that was partially survival, partial choice. Carol Channing has recently admitted her paternal black parentage. . . It is even rumored that Dinah Shore has black parentage, that which she never confirmed NOR denied. (If you haven't seen the A & E biography on her, treat yourself).
Sure, we are all aware that beauty is in the eye of the beholder, but what are the specific criterias associated with it, and how many people (excluding these intelligent readers, of course) use improper measurement criterias? We can't act as if it never happened, and, with that said:

BUT

Would India Arie, both artist and Musician, be as popular as Alicia Keys, be MORE popular and/or lavished with more mainstream acclaim (mainstream) if they she had 'it'?

Would Beyonce, Alicia Keys, et. al, be the toast of the town if they weren't?

But the inverse had happened with our brothers. . .Would so many of our lighter leading men (Giancarlo Esposito, Mel Jackson) had more 'urban' appeal if their skin textures were more of the Denzel, Wesley, Don Cheadle Flavor?

There are SO MANY schools of thought. There is a difference between having an authentic preference for things, versus having discriminatory tastes (whether it's for the darker or lighter persuasion).

Some examples:

There is a brother that I used to date, he was growing up during the era where light skin-ded green eyed Reggie Theus, Phillip Micheal Thomas brothers were the ones (subject to interpretation) that were bringing sexy back. He is VERY attractive, darker complexioned man; however, teenage women wouldn't give him the time of day. He, in turned, himself began to prefer the lighter persuasion as a way to prove himself 'worthy', if I may, to the less melanin enhanced population.

On the flip side, I have a friend who has the classic 'light skin, brown curly hair' who has, over the course of her entire lifetime, attempted to make up for that, by sitting in the sun as a child, choosing darker men to date (and marry), because she never enjoyed valued the skin she was in.

I also have a friend that goes ballistic when someone compliments someone from the lighter persuasion, and she goes into Drill Seargeant Mode, asking why they said that, and she always alludes to someone saying that only because that person was light. She also goes out of her way to talk about how everyone loves her complexion. (Which, I think, is TMI).

Fortunately, I was able to escape the madness of the time. I fit somewhere in the 'middle', for lack of a better word.
The picture above is of Carol Channing.

But, back to the lecture at hand. . . Are we still perpetuating these types of ideologies in early adulthood, either with melanin issues or hair? Does it matter? Do you see it? Or am I imagining it? Have we grown out of this, or have we stunted our growth, only perpetuating it in other ways?

Visions of Feathers and Jheri Curls Dancing in My Head

2006-09-12T07:00:00.000-07:00

One More Knight. Aptly titled, this was equally the name of our school mascot (Knights), as well as our Phil Collins inspired song, that allowed us into our first foray into the Black Tie world of a Formal - Prom Night.

My prom was equally fun, and bizarre. For starters, I had three guys ask me. The first one, I wasn't sure if he was planning on getting his Jheri curl redone for the festivities, nor did I have the heart to ask him. The second one, he wasn't tall enough (I was 5'10" at the time), and would have towered over him with my pumps. The third one, well, let's just say I wasn't sure if I would even make it to the prom. He was what we called, at least, on the West Coast, a slanging brother, someone who was too slick for his own good and me being virgin-AL personality, I declined him with a quickness.

I decided to ride solo. I have always been a relative loner; what difference did it make when it came to my prom. So, my friend Gretchen (who was going with a good friend) decided to roll together. I had also chosen an unconventional color - black.

Black, you say? Why, P, what's the problem with black?

Glad you asked. In the decade that I graduated in, what was hot on the streets was pink and peach pastels. With obsence looking fishtails, outrageous puffy sleeves, and equally disturbing hairstyles. Accompanied by airbrushed nails and satin shoes to boot, we were indeed, a sight for sore eyes. My mother kept asking me was I sure this was what I wanted; to which I said. . .YES.

Making a long story short, I showed up at the prom solo (after arriving of course, with Gretchen and her dude), and I (along with the dress) was a HIT. Let me tell you this; everyone looked FANTASTIC - I just think that people were more surprised at the COLOR more than anything. But the dress WAS nice; One sleeve, satin, slit in the back, rhinestones (sounds cheezy but wasn't at the time) Seven (count 'em) SEVEN guys came up to me telling me they wanted to ask me out, but they thought I had a college boyfriend; they indicated they would be happy to pose with me, to which I promptly declined. I took my picture before my Fashion Fair/Flori Roberts inspired makeup wore off, and my feather started to droop.

The night went smoothly; Update on the brothers who asked me:

1. Jheri curl did, indeed, get his hair done for the festivities, and looked great with his little Emerald green vest on. So did his date.

2. Napoleon Complex looked equally dazzling with his Tux. And his date had on Electric Blue with some Satin Pumps.

But the piece de resistance came from the #3 Dates - the slanger, the baller. THIS MUTHA FUCKA asked another girl at our school to go to the prom - AND BROUGHT ANOTHER GIRL FROM ANOTHER SCHOOL AND LEFT THE OTHER ONE STRANDED AT HOME. . .

Everyone was pissed - Both female AND Male (after the guys stopped drooling over the light skin long hair foolishness). His other date eventually showed up and was let in, and it was on and cracking then. Let's just say that him AND his date had to be escorted out of the prom, eventually. Me, being me, I was loving every minute of it (except for the fact that he left her stranded - that wasn't cool). I was also equally horrified over the fact that he very well could have done that TO ME!! In a later conversation, he swore he wouldn't have, but in the words of my R & B brother Ginuine, what makes ME different?

As the night started to wind down, I began looking for Gretchen and her little friend.

No dice.

Means nothing. Who really sits down at the prom? You're so busy dancing and doing everything else, one of which figuring out what's crackin tomorrow, that it was no big deal.

Gretchen. . .Gretchen. . .(by the way, YES, that was her name)

Well, I might as well had been looking for the holy grail because Gretchen and her friend bailed out and left me stranded at Lynwood (up to no good) High School's Junior/Senior Prom at the Los Angeles Marriott.

So, anyway, after I STOPPED feeling like that, I managed to make my way to the phone booth (pre-cell phone dayz, y'all), and called my mother, who had to come pick me up, in her sponge rollers, in her 1980's Narc Inspired Chevy Cavalier, and take me home.

Gretchen was equally clowned at school after the word was spread (wonder who did that). She claimed that she believed that she couldn't find me, one, and two, she thought I would get home with someone else. Well, one, it's not hard to find a woman, six one in heels, with a black dress on with a feathered hair style, and two, EXACTLY WHO WAS I SUPPOSED TO RIDE HOME WITH??

Yet, the prom was indeed a pleasant experience, and a good time had by all.

**AFTERWORD**

I didn't speak to Gretchen for the next ten years. It wasn't like a grudge, but after that incident we stopped speaking in high school, and then we graduated, and just lost contact. I saw her at a mixer later on, and we talked but not much else came from our relationship.

Remember dude who left the chick stranded at home while he took light skin-ded girl to the prom, and his other date came up there hoo-banging? Here are their own updates:

Light Skin and her REAL dude came into the clothing store that I worked in a few weeks, later. Me, being, me, kept staring at her trying to figure out where I saw her. I finally blurted out (in front of her man) that, by the way, did-ent she go to Lynwood (up to no good) prom? She looked at me, her eyes pleading for me to shut the phuck up.

Why she do that? It was on, now. Her man was looking at her like WTF? So, once again, me being the 17 year old I was, proceeded to describe her dress and all, to which her boyfriend, at that point, was furious. He led (read: pulled) her out of the store.

As for the guy who left the chick stranded AND Miss Stranded herself: They have been married for over ten years, with three kids.

So now, I turn it over to you, the readers: What WAS your prom experience like? Did you GO? Why or Why Not? Any interesting events occur before (or after?)

From Every Mountainside, Let Freedom Ring. . .

2006-09-11T01:09:00.000-07:00
WE REMEMBER. . .

September Old Skool Joint

2006-09-05T10:37:00.000-07:00
Don't ACT like This song wasn't the CUT!!!!

Now Usually I Don't Do This, But Um. . .

2006-08-30T16:25:00.000-07:00

That's how it always starts. (Or some variation thereof)
You're on the phone with someone. Often times someone dependable and reliable. Or has been in your recent past. And they want to let you 'in' on something. Something that 'the man' doesn't want you to know about. And you start to listen, with equal hope and dread. The hope that somehow, someway, this is NOT leading down the road you expect it to. And the dread that in your gut, you know that 'tis. So you just wait for the closer, the climax, the piece de resistance, the entrance of the 'big deal'.

"I want you to come to a meeting with me"
"What kind of meeting?"
"I mean, it's hard to explain, you just have to be there. Plus the VP is going to make a special appearance".
"But WHAT is it? Where is it?"
"At the Marriott in Long Beach. I'll come pick you up"
"What kind of meeting is it?"
"It's a business opportunity. You do want to make money, don't you? I thought about you when I went to the meeting, I said, 'Who would be SMART enough to take advantage of something like this?"

Somewhere in the middle of that, the person that is conversing (read: holding you hostage), is tugging at your heartstring/ego, but so far, no DICE.

- "You're a smart woman, P, I thought you would want to know about this"
- "When you have kids/get married, don't you want the flexibility to do things?"

The script is the same, but the cast of characters change.

Sound familiar? Maybe you didn't go to that meeting, but the variation of the meeting/selling point lurks in your mind. I know it does. There is always some bankruptcy, sob story of a guy that wanted to get out of the grind and show his son how to ride bikes, OR some chick who tugs on the heartstings of the mother's in the audience, OR a guy who tells you how much property/money/cash flow he has every month and that he is really busy but that he HAD to stop in and talk to US, but he has to be on his way, now. He fails to mention that they want to get you started on some 'starter kit' for the low, low price of 299.00, and of course, that's really a steal if in fact the 'kit' will pay you back in no time, and you're become a member of the gold, platinum, titanium, etc. VP club and by the way can we take a postdated check from you?

As previously stated, Even though you are NOW immune to the meetings that can either be overly spectacular or creepily clandestine, at some point in your life, some trickery occured where you either (a) showed up at one of the meetings, only to realize that it was THAT kind of meeting, or (b) you were tortured by your neighbor, hairdresser, co-worker, friend (that you haven't heard from in three months) to sell or be interesting in buying:

- Long Distance
- Amway
- Herbalife, Noni Juice, et al.
- World's Greatest Vitamin
- Internet Mall
AND
- To a DEGREE: Cookie Lee, Primerica, Mary Kay.

Sidebar: Every woman in the US of A has either bought a Mary Kay product at some time in her life, went to a Mary Kay makeup party, or was stalked over the phone by a Mary Kay consultant.

Anyway, back to the lecture at hand. The biggest problem with Network Marketing is not the marketing concept per se. But those same things that make it attractive are the very things that those who have never managed any level of business, big, or small, are not prepared to invest their time in. Usually, for the most part, there are exceptions to the rule; however, exceptions PROVE the rule.

According to Scott Allen, author of "The Real Problem With Network Marketing"

Most of these folks (Can be one or more of the below)
have not done well in their business or profession and have little money saved up to invest
have no previous experience owning or running a business
have no previous experience in sales
have little or no experience developing business relationships other than that of employer/employee/co-worker
are not satisfied with their current level of income
have unrealistic expectations of the amount of work involved compared to the revenue realized.
Again, there are exceptions to the rule; but the exceptions PROVE THE RULE.
So friends and family, please don't call my cell phone number so that I can review some antiquated flyer of yours, or you can email me a link to your internet mall to get toilet paper that I can buy at target, or tell me about the weight loss shake that worked for you (not to mention you are now working out three days a week). I'll pass.
And no, I don't want to buy the World's Greatest Vitamin.
What has been your experience(s) with folks interested in Network Marketing and/or the first (and probably only) time you were duped into a meeting?

(Still) One In a Million - Five Years Later

2006-08-25T00:00:00.000-07:00

Aaliyah Dana Haughton January 16, 1979 – August 25, 2001

It took me MONTHS to watch this one in it's entirety: Still evokes a degree of sadness.

This one, I like because she is a straight RYDA in this one!!

The Song that Made Me Love Her. . .

And this song that sounds DAYUM good in a car with some sounds!!

Official Aaliyah Website

What is (are) Your Favorite Aaliyah's songs?

Trapped in the Closet Chronicles

2006-08-21T08:06:00.000-07:00

My first experience with this was with SupaStar Nic. Boy, after I finished reading THIS POST, I was floored with all of the information that was anonymously posted. I'm sure MOST of her regular readers abstained. . .Right. RIGHT!

Then Sangin Diva brought it to the table. The information that was revealed on THIS POST was equally salacious. Man, I couldn't believe some of the information that was submitted. Mind, you, surely her regular readers ALSO probably missed these postings and refrained from commenting, right. . .RIGHT!

So with that said, tell me your secrets. Get those bones out the closet, you know they're trying to break free. Don't be left trapped in the closet.

I would guess that MOST of MY regular readers ALSO will not be responding to this post, just some random ANONYMOUS folks, right? RIGHT. Other than the resident "I don't have anything trapped in MY closet TAM.I.AM interjection of the salacious-ness of everything, I would expect a full on expose of what's burning deep within your psyche.

Sshhhh! We won't tell.

Of course, all posts are anonymous (Unless you want us to know who you are).

Readers: What's been Trapped
in YOUR closet?

Family Ties - or the Ties That Bind?

2006-08-15T09:22:00.000-07:00

What would we do baby, without Us? And there ain’t no nothing we can’t love each other through. What would we do baby, without Us? Sha la la la.
- Theme from "Family Ties" -

Family - The connotation of it. Iconic, loving, everlasting. Generations both young and old, coming together. Blended heritages meeting at the middle. Births. Deaths. Marriages. Divorce. Remarriage. Losing and gaining is a daily occurrence in extended and immediate families. Fragmented. Dysfunctional. Flawed. Fabricated. The strength of a family can go a long way. Innumerable movies about the power of a family (Soul Food, Crooklyn, Claudine, Steel Magnolias) are what bring us warm fuzzies. As they should.

But there are ALSO family structures that are intrusive, overbearing, overprotective, and smothering. Those structures are equally dysfunctional, (generational) and are downright nosey. Not nosey in the concerned perspective, but in a way where it's intrusive to the immediate 'nucleus' family.

I know people that have families that are extremely close. They go on vacations together, shopping together, and anything in between. They sincerely care for each other and would rather be in the company of their family more than anyone else.

Then there's the two opposite ends of the spectrum.

The family that doesn't give, but pulls. The begging, complaining, never getting anywhere family. A history of violence, abuse (verbal, physical, sexual), where folks either flee and have NOTHING to do with them, or continue the cycle.

AND/OR

The family that is way too close for comfort. The ones that get in your business like NOBODY's business. The family the pries, pokes, and interferes at a moment's whim. The daddy's girl, mama's boy, nosey sister, overprotective brother, bossy auntie, rich uncle, and 'just like my sister' cousin who can't seem to stay out of the affairs even upon request.
OR any combination thereof.
I've seen all of these. And my family is one of them.
Before We delve into our topic, I must say this however; A family is NOT just the bloodline. Ever. There are those who touch your life and are in your life that have moved and touched your lives more than any bloodline ever could or would. Particularly if you come from a fragmented family; these are your family and you should treat them as such. Also, there is an element of dysfunction in all families. No family is perfect; that's not the directive of this piece.
With that said, we will turn it over to the readers:
Do you think there is a such thing as "Too Close" OR "Not Close Enough". Is your family "Love Filled" or "Drama Filled?" Any friends with families like the aforementioned?

Don't Shit Where You Eat(?)

2006-08-09T09:08:00.000-07:00

This is the running mantra for office romances. Don't Shit Where You Eat. Corporate Executives and Secretaries be dayumed, office romances have taken that concept and shot it into a time capsules. Workplace Romances, as they are called, have eclipsed into a totally different concept these days.

HOWEVER. . .

Most of the time when you are in a location where you are spending the majority of time with a group of individuals. Sparks will fly; attractions run amok. There are innumerable relationships that have started by hooking up from movies (Brangelina, Cruise/Kidman, I could go on an on). Late Night Meetings, traveling, Working Together on Projects that are either extremely stressful or equally rewarding, can trigger feelings, that, acted upon, turn into a steamy, passionate fling.

How many of us have seen, heard, and smelled the stench of an office/job romance from a mile away. Everytime you turn around these folks are either in each other's faces too much, or act like they don't know each other at all (a dead giveaway). They appear to be engrossed in work, but are indulging in Instant, Text, and Email Messaging, that becomes increasingly more passionate.

In the interest of fairness, I believe that many powerful relationships between John and Jane Doe progress to serious commitments up to and including marriage as a result of meeting on the job.

HOWEVER

Dr. Shirley Glass, author of Not ÂJust FriendsÂ states "The new infidelity is between people who unwittingly form deep, passionate connections before realizing that theyÂve crossed the line from platonic friendship into romantic love. From an infidelity standpoint, Shirley Glass discovered in her practice that 50 percent of the unfaithful women and about 62 percent of unfaithful men she treated were involved with someone from work who was "Just a Friend" at first. And it happens to the best of them. Even those that help us fly the friendly skies. But It's NOT just physical affairs. Often times emotional adutery causes the most appeal, attraction, affection, and connections. That is extremely powerful (least that's what somebody told me).

BUT

How many of those relationships are the exception, rather than the rule. Are there more successes than failures? More makings for Reality TV? More Fairy Tales than Kissing Frogs? More room for Liars - (er, I mean LAWYERS), to get their hands on something that Georgie Porgy did to kiss the girl(s) (OR BOY) and make her cry? Does it produce a blossoming working environment, or does it call Psycho Betty to come out ot the closet?

Now it's time to turn it over to the readers:

How do you feel about office dalliances?
Have you done them? Seen them? Any horror stories?

August Old Skool Joint

2006-08-04T11:07:00.000-07:00
What Y'all Know Bout This?!

Three Years Probation and a $100.00 Dollar Fine

2006-08-01T12:22:00.000-07:00

And I know you're shining down on me from heaven
Like so many friends we've lost along the way
And I know eventually we'll be together
Together One sweet day
Eventually I'll see you in heaven
(One Sweet Day - Mariah Carey y Boyz II Men)

May 21, 1990, 6:30 A.M.

((RIIINGG)) - P picks up the phone "Hello"

"P"

"What's wrong?"

"I just called to tell you. . .I just called because. . "

I braced myself. Adrianne's grandmother had been in the hospital for quite some time. She wasn't expected to live. Her and her cousin, my best friend Lynn, had been going back and forth to the hospital to see her. So I closed my eyes, waiting to give the spiel sympathetic speech regarding her grandmother.

Adrainne starts crying.

"Adrianne, what happened"

"I just wanted to let you know that Lynn passed away last night".

Okay, now I know her grandmother's name is Hessie. She didn't say Lynn. She meant Hessie, right, RIGHT! She's upset. That should be expected.

Silence.

More Silence from me.

"Lynn was on her way to go see our grandmother, and someone broadsided her, she died instantly."

"Lynn had to work yesterday, what are you talking about, Adrianne?"

"She got off of work early because my granny wasn't expected to live".

Adrianne Starts crying again.

Silence. More silence.

"P, are you okay?"

"Yes. Thank you for calling".

I put the phone on the hook and laid back down. I had a little more time before I had to go to school. My mother came in my room and looked at me. She was getting dressed for work.

"What's wrong? Are you okay?"

"Yes".

She looked at me some more with a heavy look of uncertainty.

I laid back down. Right before my mother left the house, she asked me was I okay again, and I told her I was fine. I decided to go into the living room. I carried the phone with me (this was pre-cordless phone days and when you had the 100 mile cord in your house), because I didn't want to miss Lynn's call when she called me. Maybe I SHOULD have went to the movies with her on Friday, May 18th. We were talking about Sammy Davis Jr, recent passing, and she mentioned that she wanted to go see Three Men and a Little Lady. I opted out, because I just didn't feel like going. Anyway, I'll wait for her call.

My mother looked in at me with a peculiar expression. Wondered why at 6:45 am I was in the living room holding the phone in my lap.

"Are you SURE you are okay, P?".

"Yes."

I looked at the phone. Maybe I should call. WHY WON'T THE FUCKING PHONE RING?!?!

My mother left. The door made a loud slamming noise when she closed it.

Then the floodgates opened.

I cried, and then I cried louder, and then I started screaming. I dropped the phone and I subsequently went to my knees. WHAT DID ADRIANNE TELL ME? The only friend that NEVER judged me, who understood me, who told me she felt more comfortable in our two bedroom apartment then she did in her big a$$ house? The one whose mother died when she was eight?

Oh GOD! Where was Jazz, her daughter? Was she in the car?? Who told Nathan, her fiance and the father of her child?

I ran to the bathroom to throw up. Nothing came out. I picked up the phone. But who was I going to call.

Wake, up, P, wake up. This is NOT happening.

But it did happen. On Sunday, May 20th, at approximately three PM, Lynn was going eastbound Los Angeles. In the meantime, Julio X had hit a woman on the freeway and was trying to get away from her. She chased him in her car off the freeway and through the streets. Trying to get away from Kim X, Julio runs a redlight travelling Southbound and slams right into her. We had to delay her funeral because an autopsy was conducted to determine the exact cause of death. They wanted to know whether or not she died from a broken neck or her chest being crushed, considering they happened simultaneously.

Jazz was not in the car. But Jazz was in the house when Nathan was notified, who, was so distraught, he was given a valium - that was AFTER he broke every window in his house. I went to school that day. I don't know why. On the way to school (I rode with a friend), we went down 120th street - and we got to 120th Street and Broadway, there were glass shards and all kinds of debris on the street. I told my girlfriend "That's where the accident happened." No one told me where it happened. But I knew.

Funeral and other things notwithstanding, this was a pivotal event in my life. It was significant in that I could remember everything being surreal, yet remember every single incident, yet not remembering a thing. But what I do remember is. . . The verdict.

Three years probation and a hundred dollar fine. And subsequently, I went into X-Chromosome Factor Mode. Although, one month after that, I saw "Ghost", and I KNEW that she was with me, and I would see her again, One Sweet Day. To this day, there are songs, that I absolutely love/mourn when I think of her. . .

"Home" by THIS blogger's favorite singer, Stephanie Mills. - That was HER favorite song.
"Spread My Wings" - Troop/They played this at her Funeral.
"Old Friend", Phyllis Hyman - She LOVED this song and would sing it all the time.

PS: Yes, the accident DID happen on 120th and Broadway.

So now, readers, I turn it over to you. . .

What events (divorce, death, birth, foreclosures, fights, religious transformations) have influenced YOUR Lives? Things that have sent you barreling (good or bad) in another direction? Any songs that remind you of particular events.

This is How We Roll(ed)

2006-07-25T18:39:00.000-07:00
Remember when cars were more than cars back in the day? They were status symbols. Even more than they are now. Sure, we get all of the Attention Deficit Disorder inspired children who look at cars that the current top 40 Hip Hop Artist has in their 'Cribs' inspired garages, but most of that is in excess, and even in the most Generation Y hype, they even know that.

But ah, back in the day, the place where we partaked in indulgence to the nth degree, complete with turkish necklaces, burgundy and blue black cellophanes, daytons and inky rims, feathered hair, jheri, california, and s-curl inspired looks, when we looked out in the world through our 'EK' and Laura "Ba-Gotti" sunglasses, we were often escorted (via friend, lover, or somebody's else's ride), we was rolling in somebody's borrowed, owned, or soon to be reposessed vehicle. Here are some of the more memorable cars from back in the day.

Chevy Beretta HAHA! What y'all know bout this bitch, yo. Man, my friend's boyfriend had a white one with Daytons on it. We were equally star struck as well as terrified to ride in it, considering that people were getting killed over those rims back in the day. But he would pick her up in front of the school, IN FRONT of everybody, and boyyyee!! The looks she would get. AND he had a pullout!

IROC - Z: Sheeot! That was IT, and that was ALL! I was a senior in high school and this guy that used to dig me, his name was Darnell (how played out is THAT name), offered to take me to and from work for a minute. He had THIS car with T-TOPS. When he took me to work, playing Keith Sweat in the car, you couldn't tell me a mutha fucken thang. I had a blue black cellophane, Magenta Mist lipstick from Fashion Fair, and Curved nails, with charms on them to boot, accentuated with Garnet Red nail polish. AND HE had a California Curl. I was his freak that he could show off. I think he was slanging. See below for the other car he had.

The Mini Blazer - That was the other car he had. This fool was rolling. It was blue with all kinds of what is now know as Pimp My Ride graphics on it. It was lowered with rims on that as well. He lived in Compton in cuz territory , so it was blue. I often wondered how he was able to take the IROC out for a spin and not worry about being harassed by the crips, (y'all this was some SERIOUS business back in the day), but he seemed to have no problems. Anyway, this truck was the bomb. See, you had to get the MINI blazer. The big blazer was oh, so not cool.

Mustang 5.0 - Ooh, Wee! See, now, you just couldn't have ANY mustang, yo. We wanted to know if you had a Five-Point-O mustang! And if you lied, see we could check, because if it did-ent say so on the car, then you just had some regular sheeot going on. Don't have NO european plates on them man, you were set! You were cool if you had the hard top, but if you had the CONVERTIBLE 5.0, then you were doing big thangs, big thangs, probably most of which were illegal.

Suzuki Samurai: Um, prolly in my top five list of the most dangerous vehicles ever made. Designed to kill, I say (Ford Pinto tops the list, and bringing up the rear in a CLOSE second is the aptly titled Pontiac Fiero). These cars were cool and fun, and were this close to tipping over faster than a one hundred pound man with a bottle of Mad Dog 20 20 in his back pocket. But it was cool if somebody had one.

300 ZX - Who would have thought that we would drool over the sequel to the much beloved classic 280 ZX ?? (which by the way, I would STILL roll in that bitch). This car was it, and usually was accompanied by T-Tops and some serious Pioneer - laced sounds. Rolling in this (and I did date a guy that had this car, you couldn't tell me nothing), was the epitome of being grown. PS: I dont know why I thought I was so cute in his car that sheeot wasn't mine I was rolling a nine year old Toyota Cressida with the automatic seatbelts that potentially could render you unconscious if you weren't paying attention.

The Legend: Yes, that one. The Acura Legend. I personally have a conspiracy theory regarding this car. I believe that they knew that I would just be too sexy for my shirt, to drive this car, and before I could get out of college, they discontinued it. I also believe that the executive or upper management personnel that were responsible for making this decision were eventually managed out of the business, because this is, in my personal opinion, far and beyond, the very best car they have EVER made.

What were YOUR cars back in the day? Did you have one? Or only DREAM of having them?

Fabulous Flashback!

2006-07-21T17:18:00.000-07:00

The Five Heartbeats

2006-07-19T14:46:00.000-07:00

The movie, the Three Faces of Eve, talked about the different personalities that people display. This movie, in particular, talked about it in the manner of personality disorders. But y'all know I ain't crazy. (Well, at least the VOICES tell me that I am not crazy). HEHE.

With that said, I think all of us have different 'sides', if I may to our personality. That's the beauty of being human. We can become chameleons without being fake. And there, is, often a need to have different sides of a personality to react accordingly to your conditions, circumstances, and personal and professional relationships. As you should. There is a time to be agressive, a time to be submissive, or kitten like, or even a visionary. And according to Michael Gerber, we have the ability to have many professional personalities, at least within us, we just have to learn to balance them out. So, here are my Five. . .

Tricia: She is the playful one. She is the one that is humorous, studious, mildly timid (in a careful way), and is open to trusting everyone. This is the one that doesn't take things too seriously, and always makes sure her i's are dotted, and her t's are crossed. Tricia is in everybody's business! Tricia's preferred profession would be an attorney.

Patricia: This is the romantic. The visionary. The one that can get caught up in the clouds. Patricia is the one that hears "Come Away With Me" and could totally get caught up into the song. Patricia is the one that loves chick flicks, believes in love at first sight, and is extremely vulnerable and emotional. (If y'all tell anyone this Imma raise hell). Patricia loves and loves hard. She could live on a boat with the one she loves shelling shellfish for the rest of her life. This is the girl that could sing "Midnight Train to Georgia" and mean every word of it. Patricia is a bleeding heart compassionate. Patricia loves to write. Patricia's preferred profession would be so over working. She would be a grifter.

Trische: (Prounounced Trish): Trish is the sexpot. The tri-sexual "I'll try anything once" kind of chick. The one that is bout it bout it, and pulls out all the bells and whistles when necessary. The one that likes it, likes it good. The sex kitten that comes out the box at the drop of a dime, and puts on a show and knows that "Tonight What Heights We'll Hit. . .On with the Show this is It" type of day. She's the sexpot that can take them or leave them, and leave them wanting for more. Trische's preferred profession would be to marry well and look cute all day.

Pat: Pat is a hot mess. But not in a good way. Pat's bark is actually worse than her bite. Pat's pokerface is on 24/7 and she is usually the one that comes out if things are not going right for Trische, Tricia, or Patricia. It's a barrier, giving the pretense that everything is okay. Pat is dependable and take charge. Don't play with her, but dependable. She gives it to you straight with no chaser. She is NOT warm fuzzy, but she's deliver the goods. Maybe not packaged the way you need them, but packaged nonetheless. Nobody knows Pat's business. Pat's profession would be anyplace where she can delegate. Not in a tyrannical way, but some where high profile where she would end up winning an Essence award or something.

P: P is new. P is a pop culture, history, political, spiritual enthusiast, who is laced with double entendre's, tongue in cheek comments, and hidden meanings in everything. P gives her two cents which turn into 25 cents. P is an entrepreneur that doesn't take anything too seriously (Just like Tricia). P is counted on to give good, objective advice, and opinions. P doesn't like her current job and is actively seeking another one. P would like to write or own a bookstore or be a historian on PBS. Looking like a teacher/whore with glasses on.

Have you seen any of these in me?
What are your Heartbeats and many faces?

News Stories From The Archives of K-PAT FM

2006-07-13T09:15:00.000-07:00
I love news stories and the facts regarding history and the events leading up to what made something, in fact 'History' - Traumatic or Otherwise. . .

But there are particular stories (besides the obvious - 09/11, etc) that I remember. The unfolding and the events after it. Some of which become embedded in our hearts and minds that last forever. It could be a personal story, or a national story, ripped from the headlines, or just some basic drama, which I personally LOVE.

Just so you know: Most of these stories (sans two) are pre-internet/email/cell phone boom. So they were particularly riveting because you had to wait on information, and when you did get it, it was heavy in weight because there was so much to say. So, without further adieu, there are a few in particular that stick out in my mind. Shout out to That Girl for telling me about Photobucket)

Atlanta Child Murders - Man, oh, man, oh man. Atlanta, Lynwood, no difference to me. I stayed in the house for most of that summer (living IN CALIFORNICATION) over that sheeat. I was scared-ded, TRUSS! All I knew was that somebody was killing little black children and that was enough for me to play with my easy-bake oven, colorforms, etc right on the inside of my house. And the porch was a STRETCH. And when they found that (insert little girl voice) "bad, bad man" was put in jail. (Needless to say, we know the REAL Deal regarding Wayne Williams and how janky that investigation went).

1989 San Francisco Earthquake. I remember I was on my way to Junior College then, getting ready for school. And they showed the picture of a freeway. Initially, when looking at the freeway, I wondered what the big deal was, it looked only as if the freeway collapsed. Upon further inspection, I found that yes, the freeway, did INDEED collapse, but that it was a double decker freeway, and one had fallen on top of the other, killing everyone under there in a vehicle. Even now, looking at the freeway, because it was smashed so closely together, it's a painful site to look at. I remember all day I couldn't get my mind off of it, because I couldn't believe something so devastating had happened so close to my home. For those of you who have never seen this, look closely. What looks like one freeway is really one smashed on top of the other. I remember the only fortunate (for lack of a better word) thing that occured regarding this was that it was a Monday, some holiday, I forgot which one, and the freeways were less crowded than they normally would have been.

McMartin Abuse Scandal. I wasn't but about ten years old when off of this started going down. Everyone was terrified. All kinds of ritualistic allegations were brought to the attention of the courts. It ripped apart a nation, tore down innumerable pre-schools, and took a a family (McMartin), down a long and shadowy road. It was one of the first modern day examples of what Mass Hysteria can do, even in the interest of protecting beloved children. There was an HBO special not too long ago that chronicled this story. The case went on for YEARS, no one was ever convicted, and all charges were dropped in 1990.

Whitney and Crack. Crack and Whitney. From the illustrious singing career on the path to legendary status, to being reduced to "Hell to the Naw" on Bravo's Being Bobby Brown, the decline of Whitney Houston before our very eyes is equally painful and amusing (in a sick kind of way) to watch. We went from believing that she was MAYBE smoking some sticky-icky, to us thinking "Is this girl really smoking?", to "Crack is Whack", to "What the Eff?" Ah, the perils of Whitney Houston.

Loving and Losing Aaliyah. I don't believe I realized how very much an Aaliyah fan was until she passed. Thinking about it now brings tears to my eyes. The video, Rock the Boat is especially haunting for the obvious reasons. Somehow looking at the video, it's beautifully haunting, particularly at the end. I'm not trying to glamourize her death; but I can't help but look at that video and think of so many things while watching it. I couldn't watch it the whole way through for over a year and even now I don't particularly like watching it. I can imagine how her family must feel. She wasn't a songwriter, but she had a particularly pure voice that I loved, and love to this day.

April 29th Brought Power to the People - And You Might See A Sequel. Don't know about you, but everyone OUT here remembers where they were when the verdict was read, and the Los Angeles Rebellion began. I personally was at home that day, didn't have to go to work, or to school. My mother was at the funeral of one of her best friends. And to hear that verdict - It was surreal, it was painful, and prolly my first full twang of recognizing that my life had no value with the LAPD, particularly to the residents of Simi Valley. Then, the news came on. Even though I did not physically live in LA, I was once a resident of Los Angeles, and My college was right in the heart of Los Angeles, and they shut down for the remainder of the week. It was mass hysteria out here. And the newscasters didn't understand that it wasn't a riot. Yes, there was foolishness, and there was terror, but there was pain. Probably not manifested and carried out properly, but I understood. I understood that they put the national guards in areas that they didn't want touched, like Brentwood and Beverly Hills, but what we did, well, that was a different story.

Space Shuttle Challenger Explosion

I was in the tenth grade, and my Algebra I teacher brought the TV in so all of us could see the launch and liftoff. We all knew that a teacher, Christa McAuliffe, was going to be on flight. He was especially excited about that. So we watched, and we saw the liftoff. And we just watched.

And then it happened.

But it was like 'it' didn't happen. Anyone who has seen images of this remembers how we felt. This, too, was surreal, and as a 15 year old child, in a class with other students waiting for the other shoe to drop, the other punchline, waiting for the teacher to tell us that everything was okay, that something had just happened, but it will be okay, was an experience that remains embedded in my mind forever. It was tragic all the way around. The world was riveted.

Are any of these near and dear to you? What news-making stories Do YOU remember the most?

100 Thangs About P

2006-07-06T13:28:00.000-07:00
Since I have had to stand up to claims that I am a (ahem) private person, I decided to do this post. I was not tagged for this so I won't return the favor. Actually, I didn't think that I would be able to fulfill this task because I did-ent think that I would come across a hundred things without repeating how fine and sexy I am. So, without further adieu, here are 100 thangs about P.

I am the youngest of five children
I am allergic to raw tomatoes
I would like to be a philanthropist, and give most of my wealth away to good causes.
I am the victim of a crime
I love the Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf
I love Crime Shows, Books, and Crime Audio CD's. My Favorite: "The Patient", by Michael Palmer.
I can recite Friday, Beverly Hills Cop, Boyz in the Hood, Kill Bill Vol 2, and Five Heartbeats almost verbatim
I do not have a very close relationship with my family. (Trust me, those that say that it’s usually THEM, but my family is crazy, you already know of one).
I am happily heterosexual
But I do occassionally have girl crushes
I have lots of skeletons in my closet
I am NOT bi-curious or bi-sexual. Look up girl crushes you effen freaks.
I have irrational phobias
I never sit with my back to the door of ANYTHING.
I don’t really eat pork, the other white meat
Not into new age stuff
I budget my money VERY well
I get nervous around people who do NOT budget their money well (I feel like they are spending my money)
I have dated a few NFL players - but the black pilot was the most impressive.
I am a good cook
I am aware that I need to adjust three major things in my life which will remain nameless
I don’t eat TUNA of any kind, under any circumstances.
I want to run the Long Beach or Los Angeles marathon in the next two years
I love the obituaries
OJ and Rodney King cases turned me off from wanting to become an attorney.
But OJ and Rodney King cases defined my writing and journalistic skills
I have had several letters to the editor published in Ebony Mag, LA Times, and the Local Long Beach Newspaper
I would rather be a US Marshall with a Battering Ram busting into a door.
I would also rather be taking survelliance pictures, a la “Cheaters”
I just now feel grown up, in my dirty thirties.
I am in two magazine apparel books modeling and one hair book that will never see the light of day because I think I look ridiculous in them.
I was Little Miss Sugar and Spice 1976 (Little Miss Lynwood), and a runner up in the Little Miss California Pageant
An agent wanted me to do commercials but my mother intervened saying she didn’t want a drug addicted child star, or something like that. Geez.
I swallow gum (Yes, I’ve heard all the stories – I’ve been doing it since I was five).
Have been told that I am an excellent public speaker; and can speak impromptu or planned
I am terrible in math
My major was criminal justice
But I don’t think that’s what I’m going to get my grad degree in. I keep starting and stopping (Organizational Development, MBA, HR, Criminal Justice) – I really don’t know.
I photograph very, very, bad and have to pose myself and take a picture several times for it to come out right
I am an extremely private person (NOT secretive, PRIVATE).
I am planning on learning Italian
I played the flute for seven years
I have missed church service six times in as many years.
Not a fan of Beyonce, Halle Berry, Kanye, and bringing up the rear, Jamie Foxx, for no other reason I don't really like the whole overexposure thing.
I want a wedding but am not sure if I want to be married.
I have a dry sense of humor that some get and others don’t.
I work in a drama-filled environment that is never short of BS.
This is the longest job I have ever held.
P loves the dark meat
I am a direct descendant from the line of Alexander Palmer Haley, and Nannie Helen Burroughs
I have a big mouth but a soft voice
I am a closet bleeding heart
But I’m not anybody’s sucka
I LOVE CHILDREN
I am huge on personal responsibility and get weirded out with people who point fingers at other folks
I have never gotten high
I do not smoke cigarettes, either
I don’t drink, but have been influence by peer pressure lately
I am obsessed with visiting the Cayman Islands
I have never been on a cruise, but will be going in about a year.
I did not learn how to swim until I was sixteen
I’ve done “it” in the parking lot of my job several times.
I used to be a collegiate cheerleader (if you tell ANYONE I will kill you)
I went to Barbizon Modeling School in my teens. It was an interesting expensive experience
I wear heels all the time
I am very observant – usually NOTHING gets by me.
I have only had two REAL boyfriends. (But a lot of fun times in between!)
I care about black folks (everybody, really, but this is previous-post based)
My job really gets on my nerves
I want to own a bookstore.
My mother has an invention that can make her (and me, as her ahem, CHIEF OPERATING OFFICER) at the VERY least extremely well off and at the best the potential to make her a multimillionaire. Currently working on getting patented, etc.
I was a DJ in a former life, didn’t pay enough chedda
I would have liked to be a medical examiner (coroner)
I am a devout, backslidden (yes, I know that’s an oxymoron) Christian trying to find her way home.
A lot of people call me for advice, but I try to stray from that, because I have a tendency to get wrapped up in a Captain Save a Ho Mentality
I am unsure of what I want to be when I grow up.
I have been told I look like three celebrities, none of which I look like. Plus, I couldn’t take the credit these women are way too good looking
I can fight VERY WELL
I know how to horseback ride. I’m not on my way to the Olympics in the Equestrian events or anything, but I do okay
I love the Opera
I like Classical Music, but do not buy it
I buy all of my CD’s from Half.com
I was introduced to blogging by That Girl
I think My Space Sucks. It’s NOT a place for friends.
95 percent of my friends/associates are: Police officers, Attorneys, and Probation Officers.
I’ve considered a run for political office, but would prolly end up with a case for participating in too many fisticuffs
Latino men love me. Not sure why
I have a gag reflex that prevents me from putting foreign things in my mouth (Shut the “F” up, Tam), and I usually have a very difficult time choosing toothpaste, mouthwash, and such. The dentist hates to see me coming, because they can’t X-Ray me like other folks.
I like all kinds of movie genres and activities.
I am a chameleon and can adapt to any set of circumstances
I had NO HR experience when I got this job
I am still trying to figure out how I got here.
Most people are intimidated of me (not in a “I am woman hear me roar, just like they thing I’m the boogie woman or something). Not sure why
I had sex with my friend’s husband on accident. (Aw, stop laughing and/or get that look off your face. Long Story, but it really was on accident)
I am writing a book (now whether or not I finish it is another story)
I was tossed (well ran out before the police came) out of a Burger King in Long Beach ten years ago. (Another long story but it wasn't my fault)
I didn’t get rid of my pager until 2002, when I was sure that cell phones were here to stay.
I will not be telling you anything else. Ever.

So, what are some THANGS that you want to share about us? OR, any comments on the above in question?

Black to the Issue

2006-06-28T10:13:00.000-07:00
Does anybody care about black people?

Again, I generally prefer to leave the social commentary stuff to the experts, but not today. And before I even get started, let me qualify my statements. This editorial is posed not for folks that have particular preferences (Hell, my preference is Michael Jordan) - but for the deliberate shunning of one particular group based on preconceived notions. Excuse me in advance for going all over the place on this post, it just came out that way, so I decided to give it to you straight with no chaser.

I was talking to a friend of mines on the phone. Let me give you a little backdrop about him. Prior to having a relationship with me, he didn’t date black women for seven years. He was hurt by one (terribly – she swindled him for 15K for child support only to find out on national TV that the child was NOT his). After that, he engulfed himself into the Spanish culture. He listens to Salsa Y Merengue, Cumbia, all that stuff. He loves the Spanish language and its culture. No problem. Hey, I like to consider myself fluent myself, considering I can sing De Colores, Vaya Con dios & Como La Flor without any assistance. (HAHA). Yeah, I crack myself up. And if you look up the historical information from Cumbia, Reggaeton, and Salsa, you will note that they take their musical influences from black culture, and they will readily say that it comes from the blaxican, Central American, Egyptian, African rhythmic beats of the drum. So, they are who we are. Ellos son quién nosotros somos - They are who we ARE.

The challenge that I have is when the comparisons start to be made. Not directly, but indirectly. None of this stuff has been directly said; it’s been based on my interpretations why he avoided black women for So.Long. Now, he does readily admit, that, his PREFERENCE is for black women. He thinks black women are beautiful. He adores them in the highest, and even, has made excuses for their sometimes (overly aggressive) behaviors to others, because he believes they have been dealt with a very harsh hand. Listen, I’m not telling you anything that you don’t know. Often times we do have aggressive behaviors. I didn’t say ambitious, I said overly aggressive, and if you think about some of the people you know, I would think that you would concur with this statement. Frankly, if I were a fella, I wouldn’t want to muddle through a lot of that, either. It doesn’t mean that I wouldn’t. Y’all already know what I would do if I was a brother. But what I brought to his attention was that: (And when I say latin, I also mean Asian, I just got lazy and didn't want to type both of them).

If a white woman gets mad, she doesn't take any mess. If a latin woman gets mad, she’s saucy. If a black woman gets mad, she has an attitude.

If a white woman cleans and cooks, she is traditional. If a latin woman cleans up, cooks, and breaks you off she knows her "role"; if a black woman does it, she has an ulterior motive.

If a white woman is sexy, she is "HOT". If a latin woman is sexy, she’s just sexy, if a black woman does it, she’s hot and a whore.

If a white woman gets a man with money, she plays by the rules of money/status/comfort. If a latin woman gets a man with money, she just gets a man with money; if a black woman does it, she is a gold digger.

If a white woman does what she needs to do, she follows the legacy of her mother getting what she wants. If a latin woman does what she needs to do to snare a man or get what she wants out of him, she has jenesequa* (Spelling is horrible, but y'all get it). If a black woman does is, she’s playing games and is manipulative.

If a white woman demands something, she is seen as someone who can handle herself. If a latin woman demands something, she holds her ground. If a black woman does it, she’s stubborn.

Did it take JLo to recognize that it’s okay to have ass? Does it take Salma Hayak to say it’s okay to have tiggo-bitties? Does it take Jessica Alba to say that’s it’s okay to have big lips? Not to us, it didn’t.

This is not the first time I have heard this. Granted, I do believe (ahem) that some black women are abrasive, obnoxious, rude, and are downright unsubmissive. I SAID SOME, NOT ALL, AND NOT MOST. I don’t mean submissive in the weaker vessel since, please spare me the lecture; I only mean submissive in terms of capturing the essence of what it means to be a women, or what it means to preserve your sexiness (see excellence post on Nisa Ahmad). I do believe that. It doesn’t matter for WHAT REASONS they turn out to be abrasive; only that they are. That will be addressed later.

One of the things that we did agree on is that the Hispanic and Asian culture has worked to preserve their culture, their heritage, their familial strength, their music, and all other means, whereas (and there are always exceptions to the rule) we were thrown to the wolves, particularly the western black folks, considering they pulled an Amistad on us several hundred years ago, and as a result, robbed of being bi-lingual, in fact, and thrown into a society where we have NEVER been what’s hot on the streets. At least from a cinematic perspective. Sure, there are your resident Denzel’s Halle’s and Will's that will grace the screen. But for the most part, we have been relegated to a minority, literally and figuratively, on the news, in entertainment, and yes, even in the mating process at times.

Even Greg, the resident Dumb MOFO of the year, indicated in a conversation with me, that maybe he should try and date a Latina. I corrected him and said Um, No, maybe you should date someone who is not going to f uck you with no Vaseline is what you should be worried about, not her ethnicity.

Even at my job, I see it happening. We have a market specifically target (and this may be for geographic reasons) that literally and figuratively caters to the Hispanic market. It caters to them. We have a diversity staffing manager, and a diversity coordinator whose design is to recruit and attract bilingual talent (read: Hispanic). Sure, there are people who speak Spanish who are not LATIN, but I’m sure one of the very readers of this will actually confirm with me that the majority of people that she calls have latin like surnames.

It is difficult to explain how I understand what he feels but it doesn’t mean that I don’t feel awkward about the entire situation. I think that in our independence, we have, indeed lost some of our femininity, some of our softness, some of what attracts a male to a female. Yes, I know there are things that have not made males attractive to females, but I am not talking about them right now. But that has been by force. Often times we had to based on the circumstances that faced us. Poverty (or fear of it) single parent dwellings, the inability to be vulnerable because your life was ALREADY in a vulnerable state. The ineffectiveness to distinguish between being open and loving, versus being a sucker, which are not one and the same. Once again, If I were a good guy, I wouldn’t want to get through some of the barriers and walls that black women have.

BUT

I do know that we are ride or die chicks. You may have to penetrate through the Great Wall of China to get to us, but when you do, babee! If you are good to us, we are going to be three times as good to you. We will cut a mutha fucka over you, male or female, and we’re going to make you promise to US, that we will make it back in one piece. He was telling me “Well, that’s really not your problem because you understand the dance and the game” And I said “perhaps it may not be MY problem, but if I see that there are differences being made between who I am then I do take note and heart to it." I love being who I am, and wouldn’t change that for the world. I understand that all cultures have issues. Because I believe they do. White, Black, Asian, All of them. But that’s just what they are.

And what is MY issue? Preference is one thing. Stereotyping is another. And I'm not having it. With my own culture, or with another's. And what the hell, don't all of us have a little "In-Di-En" or " Cre-O"in us, anyway. We all family!

In fact, I know that it runs across the board. In talking to a co-worker, one of our latino counterparts, (and his brothers), do not date LATINO women, and WILL NOT. He told her, in fact, that he would NEVER date one, because they are too 'ghetto' and they gossip too much. Now, we know that is not the case for all of their culture, so that is an unfair statement he knows better. He sits around a Staffing Specialist, Staffing Manager, Legal Secretary, and Paralegal, and all of them are MEXICAN women, in particular. This fool grew up in Bell and any LA person knows that Bell gets DOWN with the brown pop.

Sidebar: I've got a problem with white boys/girls that won't date white women/men, either. AT ALL. That's creepy. But that's not what I'm talking about right now, but I just wanted to throw that out there. What the fuck is wrong with folks liking who they are.

Now, Black to the Issue:

How have you dealt with the stereotyping of your culture? White, Black, Asian, Hispanic, or Other?

Live, and Black in LA, this is P, reporting to you from K-PAT FM, the Pattyopolis Network.

How To Keep Your Job

2006-06-23T13:46:00.000-07:00
If you're interested in keeping your verifiable source of income, from an HR Perspective, do NOT:

Buy personal concert tickets on your corporate credit card.

Purchase a brand new CLK when there is a grand total of 78K missing from the deposit slips when you were on shift each and every time closing.

Over the course of several years, get mad, say "I'm done, I quit", and then stalk off and leave and come back and say "I'm just playing, I'm not mad no more". (Sidebar: And GET mad when we (er THEY) term you out the system.

Break up with the guy in sales after he buys you a new pair of twins, and then wonder why he's so frustrated.

Steal money from the safe, indicating you have cancer, and then we check the records and find out you have full medical insurance, then admit you need the money for rent.

Play pocket pool in the lobby foyer of the corporate offices, pointing the "pool stick" at women who pass by.

Close the shop up for a few hours to go across the street to watch the playoff games, leaving a sign on the door indicating “If you need us, call ((insert bar name here))".

Buy the entire call center section that services your department (30 plus people) lunch and pass out “Jesus Loves You” buttons.

Go out on workers compensation, saying that your manager is racist against black folks without looking at the picture of her BLACK husband and BI-RACIAL children plastered on the walls.

Get Mad at your schedule, tell your store manager “Meet me outside in five minutes”.

Bring your wife and child in while you work on the weekends to hang out in the managers office, eat, and talking on the phone.

Borrow 1200.00 from an Executive, telling him you did-ent get your check, (when you did), and are nowhere to be found when it's time to re-coup the money.

Get free lunches from the cafeteria for yourself and your friends because you are the facilities manager.

Look up celebrities cell phone numbers and call them to see if it is, in fact, "Them".

Smoke the Sticky-Icky right before you come back from lunch.

Use the company-issued gas card to buy candy and treats at the local gas stations.

Pay your phone bill with a customer's credit card.

This is how you keep your job. Cocoa Girl on the job also gives you tips on how to know when you are going to get the boot.

What do you think about this list? Any interesting fiascos happen on your job that were the kiss of death for others - Maybe even you?

Live (and back, bitches) in LA, this is P, reporting to you from K-PAT FM, the Pattyopolis Network.

After These Messages, We'll Be Right Back

2006-06-16T10:40:00.000-07:00

The Offices of K-PAT FM are temporarily closed. P is going on site to our national operations center. She was "volunteered" to go via the C.S.S. (Corporate Slave Ship) she toils (er, works) for. Thanks for the CSS Moniker, Sup!

In short. I'm going on a "bid-ness" trip. I'm trying to be like Supastar Nic always going on bidness trips and all. K-PAT will be out of circulation for a while. My flight LEAVES at 6:32 AM how whack is that - AND I have a middle seat, super booty. You may find me trolling and commenting on posts, but I will not be posting all through next week.

(PS: Isn't this chick's hair WHACK!?! I got ty-red of looking for a picture so I chose her).

P's Out.

Sister Vs. Sister - Favoritism In the Family

2006-06-14T10:41:00.000-07:00
My sister has a very passive (yet aggressive) personality. She is very easily influenced, and she can tell a story better than a sinner on judgment day. She has told a many tall tale, that included everything from she was robbed on a subway (lie), that when she was 21 the reason whey she was so broke was she had to pay my mother 800.00 for rent (another lie), as well as her favorite: "I don't know why (fill in the blank) said I took (fill in the blank). I didn't steal anything!"

In all fairness to everyone involved that I'm about to speak on, my sister tells these incredible stories that will pull you in faster than the Titanic sank to the bottom of the Ocean. They are truly believable. The only possible way to not believe a word that she says is to be around her for several years. I'm starting to think, that even she believes them herself, maybe that's why they sound so good! :P

Because of this, my sister has gotten more free passes than a 13 year old girl gets with R. Kelly. Everyone has always made accommodations for her as a child, and excuses, saying "Well, she didn't really mean it", or "She isn't like YOU, she needs more help.

Well, who said that I didn't need any help?

My paternal great aunt was the WORST! She would take my sister shopping and she would come back with a trunkload of items. Wouldn't get me a thing. And.We.Were.CHILDREN! If in fact she HAPPENED to take me, she would always say "Make sure you pick something up for your sister, we don't want to forget her". Granted, I wasn't her warm close personal niece, I didn't like her and she knew it. Hell, what nine year old would like a woman with a million cats in her house, hid my fathers mistress, and told my mother that I was too light to be my dad's daughter, hello. Prolly didn't help I told everyone her house was a mess. :P ! But see, my aunt was manipulative. And so is my sister. So they got along VERY well.

But my father was even a culprit. He would send my sister (a full time WORKER who had enough money and then some to take care of herself), hundreds and hundreds of dollars at any given time, often monthly, and didn't send me a thing. At that time, my sister was 25, and I was 19, going to school full time, and working part time. Again, in all fairness, my sister was calling him telling him tall tales of paying exorbitant rent to whoever she was staying with at the time, so he would send it. He never sent money to me, and would often reference the parable of the prodigal son. Are you kidding me? Who wanted to hear that as a 19 year old broke as a joke child? Not me.

Now, my mom? She didn't really make apparent differences, but she did go out of her way to do things for her, as of course, a parent would do. But as I became an adult, it would get on my nerves. Only now, considering my sister has been M.I.A. for over four years, and only calls to get her birth certificate (Sidebar to new readers- Go into archives and read the birth certificate saga), I think my mother would be firm with her. (I guess).

My sister seems to think I'm the favored child. In fairness, perhaps that is why she acted out, perhaps not, just playing devils advocate. I seem to think that she is. Maybe that's why I tend to get frustrated when things like THIS happen. In fact, if I have gotten into into it with my parents, I have even said in the past "I'm sure if You.Know.Who had this issue, it would be a BIG DEAL!"

Now, I am astute enough to know that parents feel differently about each and every one of their kids, and that's subject to the relationship they have with them. I know there are different feeling for each child, even though the love is there for all of them. I know this. However, things that I witnessed were deliberate, intentional, and obviously (at least according to my interpretation) slanted in her behalf. But that's my eyewitness testimony, and anyone worth their salt knows that eyewitness testimony means nary a THING!

Disclaimer: I was not a traumatized neglected child; not in the slightest. But I DID feel that differences were made with my sister. I DID.

K-PAT FM is going to open up this topic to the readers: I'm going to open it up to the readers:

Do You Notice YOUR behavior with your children? Is it there, but you suppress it? Did you experience this as a child yourself? With any of your friends/family? Teachers - I would be especially interested in your take on this, particularly in a classroom setting and how that affects you on a daily basis.

Eye of the Beholder?

2006-06-09T13:00:00.000-07:00
The classic Twilight Zone Episode, "Eye of the Beholder", profiles a young woman, desperate to belong. Desperate to be included as just normal, in a society that views her face as non aesthetically pleasing. She has endured, at that point, several operations to remove what she sees as her facial deformities. She has been isolated accordingly in the society and yearns just to belong. Her most recent (and according to the doctor, her LAST) surgery, is the last ditch attempt to finally belong. Anyone who is a twilight zone fan, knows the outcome of this story. In short, the woman is drop dead gorgeous, and in fact, the people who are treating her, as well as everyone else in this futuristic society, look absolutely horrendous (according to us).
That leads me to the question. Does size matter? Oh, um, we're not talking about that, wrong subject and wrong blogger - I must be near my cycle. Now normally, I don't segway into these philosophicizing culturally sensitive topics - I generally leave that to the two experts designed to handle those types of requests. But sometimes, in the pipeline, the owners of K-PAT FM have to interrupt regularly scheduled programming and discuss the elephant in the room topics that others speak on so well.
Does.Beauty.Matter? To THEM? To US?
We take great pride in taking care of our bodies, our faces, and our minds. Yes, that is to be expected. Most people in this world try to do two things: Look good, and avoid looking bad - both personally and professionally. They are NOT one and the same. So, we take the appropriate measures to ensure that we, often times, look head and shoulders above the rest. This can include
- Waxing (Or Threading) Hair, Nails, Facials, Gym Memberships, Exfoliating, Toning, Keeping up with Trends, Carb Crunching, Fat Counting, Gloss Buying, Tanning (well, for our melanin - challenged readers), and a partridge in a pear tree. And any other cosmo-lucky mag, vibe vixen, inspired technique to get purty.
Brother's I have not left you out. In this metro-sexual driven culture where men's grooming styles are no shorter than any cast member of Queer Eye, you, too, are expected to aesthetically please on both the physical, and the financial front.
Before I go into my spiel, I want to say that there are always exceptions to the rule; however, exceptions prove the rule. With that said, aren't receptionists generally attractive? Are the people that work in marketing, or business to business sales physically appealing, if not in face, in dress, body style? Are the retail employees that work at Bloomingdales, Charlotte Russe, and a You-Name-It store on Rodeo Drive attractive? All the girls at hot dog on a stick have a great ass to waist ratio? Do all the men that work at Fed-X, UPS, have nice legs, abs, and bodies (Lawd, thank you, YES).
Are the employees that work in customer care, finance, quality assurance, and other non customer facing jobs more likely to be, (as society deems it) less physically pleasing those in the other categories mentioned above? That doesn't mean that you don't come across your residential foxes, but likka said - always exceptions to the rule.
Us included. Men and women are attracted initially by the physical possibilities. But are the physicalities subject to the interpretation of the interpreter, or not? Yes, I know we all have types, and I know that there are universal pretties and fineness, like MY MAN Isaiah Washington, Aishwarya Rai and the like. But, are we too, not only subject to beauty being in the eye of the beholder, but also perpetrators of such behavior?
We used to teach a class at the company that I work for called behavioral interviewing. In, it we used to provide them with the measuring criteria on how to rate someone on whether or not they were a suitable candidate for employment. Time after time, we received pushback on how they looked (piercings, tattoos, height and weight, etc), as opposed to their general qualifications.
"Now the question comes to mind...where is this place and when is it, what kind of world where ugliness is the norm and beauty the deviation from that norm? The answer is: it doesn't make any difference. Because the old saying happens to be true. Beauty IS in the eye of the beholder, in this year or a hundred years hence, on this planet or wherever there is human life, perhaps out among the stars. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. A lesson to be learned...in the Twilight Zone." - Rod Serling
So - IS beauty in the eye of the beholder? Subject to the interpretation of the interpreter? Of just a social construct designed to eradicate where true love lies - where life lies - at the soul.
I think everyone has done it, and everyone has been susceptible to it. So with that, K-PAT would like to open up the airwaves to the audience. Open Forum.
What other jobs do you think that "Attractive" people get, versus "Non Attractive". Have you perpetrated this on a regular basis? Have you used your manly/feminine wiles to get something you want because you knew it was admired? Do you think this is an active practice - from a hiring and personal perspective - Anything goes!

Burying the Hatchet - Open Letter to UOP

2006-06-05T11:12:00.000-07:00

My personal friends and family all know I've got beef with the University of Phoenix. No particular reason, just one of those "It Was Written" moments of this is what I do and don't like about this or that.
Before I get started on my rants, I want to apologize for anything in advance I say to anyone who goes here. The opinions that are represented here are the views of K-PAT FM, the Pattyopolis Network and are not necessarily those of Blogger and it's subsidiaries.
This weekend, I attended the graduation ceremonies of the University of Phoenix. The events leading up to and including the graduation only fueled my Death Wish of this school.
The event was at the Anaheim Convention Center , a humongous monstrosity of a complex. I drove up and HAD.TO.PAY.FOR.PARKING. I'm like ain't this a bitch. I was sweating bullets (literally and figuratively) because, I already KNEW that I had to pay for my ticket and had less than twenty in my purse, but I found this chick slanging tickets while I was trying to park in the sweltering parking lot - and I got it for three dollars off.
At the Anaheim Convention Center, if you don't get a parking spot close to your venue, you have to walk a full country mile just to get to your location. Me being me, wore these four inch high heeled BCBG pumps. (Hey, it matched the halter shirt, pants, and lip gloss it all went together okay?)
It was standing room only. I had to almost get the Teamsters union involved in getting a seat, jockeying with this Mexican chick who tried to hoo-bang on a half of row of seats, waiting for her family from Tijuana to arrive. I was like "Listen, this is the here and NOW, when they come I will move", and promptly planted my black ass right on the corner seat and looked at her like What. This only added fuel to my personal drive of taking the UOP down. The element of folks that was there was unbelievable. People shoving, yelling, slanging teddy bears and balloons for a million dollars a pop. The graduation ran by with the force of a sister running through the rain with no umbrella, hell if I would have blinked I would have missed it.
But through it all, I saw a friend, who has NEVER been able to finish anything that she started; a friend who went through one junior college after another, only to quit mid semester, and, at best, one semester. Granted, I am still not interested in the power-point laden, study group driven, real life experiences that the school offers, but this graduation was a BIG deal to her, and if it was a big deal to her, then dammit, it's a big deal to me.
Yes, the heat walking a country mile to and fro from my car wreaked havoc on my wrapped coiffure. Yes, I ended up scooting over to accommodate the girls family who finally arrived from Mexico. The man that I was sitting next to couldn't decide whether he wanted to watch the rest of the ceremony or look for my bluetooth. And it's all because of you, UOP. But for now, I am extending the olive branch. I have a personal vendetta against you, yes, and I rank you with the likes of Bryman and Barbizon (these are local schools, y'all). BUT, for my friend's family, to take pictures with her, to see other families who were happy and co-signing with their families, was well worth it.
Cost of Parking at the Anaheim Convention Center: $9.00
Cost of the Ticket at the Anaheim Convention Center: $7.00
Cost of a fourth a tank of gas going back and forth with air conditioner blazing: $15.00
Going to a school graduation that is publicly traded on the NASDAQ: Priceless.
Live from LA, this is P, reporting to you from K-PAT FM, the Pattyopolis Network.

K-PAT Songs of Seduction

2006-05-30T09:10:00.000-07:00
I love music.

It moves me, soothes me, fills me, and also seduces me. There are some songs, that no matter how many times you hear them, they fill you with an intense desire to. . .participate in extracurricular activities.

What songs lull me to seduction? Glad you asked. Without further adieu, here are the songs that K-PAT FM enjoys listening to on the airwaves:

Don't Say Goodnight - Isley Brothers. Now, this is not Isley "Between the Sheets" or Isley Jasper Isley, or Mr. Bigg type of Isley Brothers. This is Isley from the T-Neck (what y'all know about that) years. These are the songs that many a child, I'm sure, was conceived on, present company prolly included. This particular song just reminds me of old school house parties that I was not allowed to attend, where folks was up against the wall grinding on each other. The way this song starts out just moves me to eroticism.
One In A Million - Aaliyah. What is it about this song that makes me want to get on a stripper pole, I dunno. But it starts off where you are dayum near taking off your shirt. I miss terribly the pureness of her voice and the fluidity of her lyrics.
Come Away With Me - Norah Jones. The lyrics of this are so haunting, yet so idealized, it puts you into a trance. It's a song that sings of a freedom that most of us do not have. She purrs about no one getting in the way of their love. They can live off the land, and she will write songs for him, and they don't have to worry about nothing and no one. You can hear in her voice the wanting, yet the knowing that it will prolly never happen.

No Ordinary Love - Sade. Now, I say this with a disclaimer. Picking one song from Sade is like asking a condemned prisoner to pick their poison. How can I choose? I love and breath Sade music like there is no tomorrow. But for the purposes of this, I chose this one. There have been many occasions where I have been frustrated, sad, and all I had to do was here the pulsating few seconds of this, and I was ready for anything and everything, usually at that point wanting to be seduced - that is what we are talking about, right, right?
Your Body's Calling - R. Kelly. I have always had a penchant for R. Kelly's music. But the yearning and longing in his voice that I hear when he sings sounds like someone who wants and needs to rescue someone from their agony of, well, being horny. This too, is a song that brings visions of wrapping my legs around a pole (pun intended), but definitely not around him, I'm like twenty years past his expiration date on females. By the way, doesn't R. Kelly look absolutely rithickulous on this picture?
Adore - Prince. Little known fact: This song was never officially released as a single. Was a B Side song that caught the ears (and captured the hearts) of MANY a fan, present company included. This song brings it to the table, you need not even deal with someone on this song unless you are ready to turn up the heat and be bout it, bout it.
I have hundreds more, (Lutha being one of them, but that was another pick your poison type of thing, and I got lazy) but these are the ones that come to my immediate forefront. But K-PAT wants to hear from you. I'm interested in what white chocolate soul is going to say.
What are some of the songs that heat up YOUR airwaves?

KPAT FM - The Pattyopolis Network

A Taste of India

Living in the Matrix

Addition by Subtraction

TKO

January Old Skool Joint

Big Love

The Crying Game - **UPDATED**

Scenes We Love - November

99 Problems

The "N" Word

There's Something About Mary

Bet on Black

Hell Date

Lady of Leisure Update

Best Week Ever

Tag, You're It. . .

July Old Skool Joint

Tipping the Scales

Mama's Baby, Daddy's Maybe

Yours, Mines, and Ours

And Spoil The Child

June Old Skool Joint

Freek-a-leek

Big Brother

Irrational Fears/Phobias - Part Deux

May Old Skool Joint

Diva, Interrupted

Burn, Baby, Burn

Reversal of Fortune

April Old Skool Joint

Habla Espanol?

The Alpha and Omega

Friends With Benefits

March Old Skool Joint

What's in a Name?

Songs in the Key of Life

It's Been A Long Time, I Shouldn't Have Left You. . .

I Wanna Sex You Up

February Old Skool Joint

Blackout Ad Nauseum

100 Bottles of Beer On the Wall

Anatomy of A Firing

Reinventing the Wheel

January Old Skool Joint

Video Killed the Child Star

'Tis The Season. . .

For Better or For Worse

All I Want For Christmas is Christmas

The Big Move

December Old Skool Joint

Fresh Squeezed OJ

Trouble Standard

"Positive" - Or Negative?

November Old Skool Joint

Unbreakable

Random Thoughts Monday

Operation Negro Search

October Old Skool Joint

From the Cradle To The Grave

Recharging the Battery

Fade to Black

Visions of Feathers and Jheri Curls Dancing in My Head

From Every Mountainside, Let Freedom Ring. . .

September Old Skool Joint

Now Usually I Don't Do This, But Um. . .

(Still) One In a Million - Five Years Later

Trapped in the Closet Chronicles

Family Ties - or the Ties That Bind?

Don't Shit Where You Eat(?)

August Old Skool Joint

Three Years Probation and a $100.00 Dollar Fine

This is How We Roll(ed)

Fabulous Flashback!

The Five Heartbeats

News Stories From The Archives of K-PAT FM

100 Thangs About P

Black to the Issue

How To Keep Your Job

After These Messages, We'll Be Right Back

The Crying Game - UPDATED