A Taste of India

An online Pasadena Newspaper posted a craigslist ad looking for reporters to cover most of their local city government and political reporting for the city of Pasadena, CA. Nice enough ad, yes? Apparently, the owners of Pasadenanow.com believe it's going to sound nicer coming from Bangledesh, India, which is where the ad was placed.

Who are they kidding? How the hell is someone that is continents, timezones, and anything else in between supposed to cover politically charged events as well as other miscellaneous street beats from the country of India? And forget anyone international. I can't cover anything from Dallas, Texas when I live out here in California? How much of a trusted source would I be? How detached will everything feel for the local consumer?

And as for the international reporters, exactly what time are they going to make their calls to the local gub-ment and when do they expect return phone calls? I can't count how many times I've been deflated when I've had to make a service call and I know that it's being routed to another international location. I guess we shouldn't be surprised, considering that most of our computer troubleshooting (including parts and supplies), cable TV technical support, and other miscellaneous functions are, too, part of the India outsourcing phenomenon. Now, I'm not some North American Flag Waving Made In the USA type of chick, I just don't understand how customer service can excel when call center operations are not based on or near a headquarters where an escalation, if necessary, can, and should occur, under certain circumstances.

I know it's not just me, who feels totally disconnected when speaking to a representative whose voice (not the dialect, the sound quality) has got that Roger/Zapp (R.I.P.) thing going on. There have been a few times where I have called in for my high speed internet support and they have subsequently told me that my service was disconnected, (when actually, it only needed a reset). It's oddly disquieting to feel like the person on the other end of the line doesn't know what they are talking about, and feel like they don't care, yet, they speak almost impeccable English (even with the accent), and generally do answer your questions. However, there is always a lingering feeling that they didn't quite get the question that you were asking them, and that you might be in for a long term conversation to boot. I also, on a very regular basis, get the distinct feeling that I am in a two to three second time delay in getting my questions answers, no doubt due to the speed of sound traveling literally across the country, which also perpetuates my deep fear that I am giving my personal information to someone who is going to take the money (little that is) and run.

Am I the only one?

Does outsourcing creep you out?

TKO

Hey y'all I have been a day late and a dollar short in posting. There are so many things going on with me, both personally and professionally.

Everything and anything you could imagine, has happened to me in the course of six months (Yes, I am in VERy good health, No, I have NOT been a victim of crime, and NO, I have NOT been knocked up).

Other than the aforementioned, think about something that can happen to a girl in a six month period. YEP, it happened. Check out all my labels for the posting, and you can use your imagination about the "what had happened wuz's"

NOT TO MENTION, my current (and hopefully soon to be past) employer has blocked out blogger. Who do they think they are, when is a girl like me supposed to blow off steam? On my own home computer on my own personal time? Hehehe.

Like the Terminator, I'll be back, and when I am, don't call it a comeback.

Miss P.

Big Love

Smart, Attractive, great guy. Met him on the fly. Nice enough guy.

During the course of the conversation (email/im generally). He asks me have I had the opportunity to read Isaiah, Chapter 3 and 4. Me, being me, I was thinking he wanted to offer his own bootleg Bible commentary/philosophicizin that is generally reserved for my Strongs Exhaustive Concordance of the Bible. I told him I may have read it in a church session or some quiet time, but I couldn't recite it a la John 3:16 or anything.

He insisted on me reading it. I told him I would when I got the chance. The next email/IM asked me had I AGAIN read it, to which I figured he was trying to get a message across, so I did read it. Now, for those that are not into organized religion or anything like that, your opinions are just that - your opinions. That's not the focus of this conversation. The focus of this conversation is actually the exact opposite, in fact. It's a guys views on a particular subject. :) Long story long, he asked me did I GET it. I wasn't sure exactly what he meant by that, so without further adieu, here is the (abridged) conversation.

Brother: Don't you get it. It's about having abundance, and that includes being healthy and happy in a polyamorous relationship.

P: ?

Brother: A real man he can handle it ... Remember its not a sin to have two wives but it is to be a hoe . . .

P: I'm COOL on the whole little "big love" thing, but if it works for you, fine. (At this point, I'm trying to figure out how to not talk to him anymore, but my nosey azz wants to know more). And I can't believe you had the nerve to bring up the KGV in this mess.

Brother: As I had the nerve to bring up KJV Isaiah 3 & 4, I'm wondering if the Sister was bold enough to read it. With more then 40% of the Black Women in America single I think the Black women has a big decision to make and its a tough one. Hoes or Wives? Right now the hoes are winning. Check the states. So now what is a hoe ... that is anyone sleeping around without being married, am I wrong ... It seems like Black women would rather be hoes then a genuine mans second wife. In this whore culture the hoe game starts of early and does not taper down until about 55 look around this is a whore culture ... I can have right now as many hoes as I like but legally only one wife ... this whore culture sets the brother up for sin all day long ... thus the average brother has no sincere relationship with God, filled with lies and deception just for some pussy never gaining a full relationship but just some pussy. See we are Royalty stuck in a whore culture ... you seem attentive is this a whore culture? Did you read Isaiah 3 & 4 KJV

P: Puhleeze. I have not problem attracting or getting black men. A good looking woman can get who she wants when she wants it and it has nothing to do with the education level. Save the speech brother. Wrong chick to philosophicize too.

Brother: Empress, (who the phuck is "Empress") You have not said anything contrary to my point. But Sista, having multiple wives is bibically sound doctrine being a hoe is not. So were you bold enough, Black Women? Isaiah 3 & 4. Dis ant no philosophie iza way 4 life, See.

P: I read both the new and the old testament while ya playing and the new testament talks about being the husband of ONE wife, thankyouverymuch, and even if it didn't say that and whether or not someone is a believer, you just spitting a bunch of B.S.

Brother: O' Black Woman (WTF!!) I just had this thought. Can you read Isaiah 3 & 4 for me on the phone later this evening. This is UNSELFISH LOVE! Jah See and know hoes run from the scripture all day long.

P: Are you a five percenter or something?

Brother: The new testement says no such thing. You can have vain imagination of Jesus suggesting that in scripture but it is not outlawed ... So Christ says the scriptue can not be broken John 10 ... the only laws effected with Jesus are the sacrificial laws ... remember he is the Sacrificial Lamb ... It comes down to hoes or wives and the hoes are winning in this hoe culture ... hoes or wives really is the question. I'm a Bible based Christian Old and New testament. What nigga what! Whats real is real and thats going to always be between you and God and him and whoever else. You have to show and prove, see ... sit down and read Isaiah 3 & 4 it spells out who the hoes are. Sister, men are suffering form what most are, they are dealing with porn all day long it on the net for FREE its in the music, the whore culture is everywhere look around hoes get the most props out here but a wife??? ... the hoe market is wide open from 18 to 60 the women are putting in work rough sex just anything they with it, look on Craigs List. Sex is a god given faculty but people are abusing it like hoes. If you were based in scripture.

P: What the hell are you talking about?

Brother: Sister now that is a very interesting question ... I will build on that with u later but in the mean time read jeremiah 2 and 3 KJV. The laws of righteousness reign supreme over all darkness.

**END OF STORY**

The phucked up part about it is, he does have some points, and he is far from dumb. Nevertheless, not a chance in hell he will be getting a date with the Empress.

Another Tale from the WTF Chronicles.

Your thoughts? You have any tales from the WTF Chronicles?

The Crying Game - **UPDATED**

Friend of mines. New to the internet dating scheme. He's been wounded in real life. In fact, it's THIS guy. Well, he met some 'chick' online, and they have been going at it (online and over the phone) for three months. Now, whether you've ventured into the internet dating scene yourself, or you know people you have, there is no gray ground. It either turns out to be absolutely catastrophic, or a happily ever after experience. (E-Harmony, anyone?)

Needless to say, he called me today to tell me that he has a number change due to some cell phone drama at his other provider. (Translation: Ran up his bill talking to ole girl). He also called to communicate that he has a new career opportunity, that would require him to train for five months in Houston, TX (He is from the "OC"). As painful as it would be for him to be away from his 8 year old son that long, he kept telling me that would be good, because 'his girl' lives there, and 'his girl' this and 'his girl' that. I finally asked him "Well, I don't talk to you much anymore, and you haven't updated me on ole girl, so what's up with y'all?" to which (condensed version), he says:

- I'm in love. She totally has my heart.

- I am going to marry this woman

- She is my soulmate. I have NEVER felt anything like this before.

- She's the one.

- We are getting married in the Virgin Islands. I want you to come.

- She has my heart. I'm hopeless.

Blog Fam: I have known this man for five years. I have NEVER heard his voice sound like this. EVAH!!!

Now, with all he said, I am thinking, at the same time:

- I've seen her pictures

- Her breasts look augmented

- She always shows from the waist up, and not the hips

- Pictures are bright enough to see, but dim enough not to see ENOUGH.

- It doesn't look like her apartment has any furniture in it.

- I think 'she' is a 'SHIM'.

- All of her pictures are profiles and not straight up looks.

- Her hands are large. As in "These look like a man's hands with acrylic" type of large.

- Email address is Nu Image (WTF?)

He is so far gone that I don't believe that anything I tell him will dissuade him. I believe that this is part of the ploy from Wong Foo. Get him down there so he won't want to look at your goodies, then, go downtown on him, pull a 68 you owe me one, and considering that this SHIM can probably suck a golf ball through a garden hose, that won't help matters much.

I don't want to sound like a spoil sport. However, I certainly don't want him to go down there blind and then come back crushed from some BS. I don't mind communicating the information to him; however, what if the chances are that the SHIM is, in fact, a SHE? Then I've communicated to him that I think his girl is a Ru-Paul rip off, he is going to be HOT, at the least, feeling hurt at the most.

I have considered just sending him an email of love, letting him know that in the world of dating, LET ALONE INTERNET DATING (which I have not tried, but I would assume,) is very easy to exhale. It's almost like folks that write you from jail - people are on their best behavior. They can create whoever they want to be. And to be careful and safe as he travels halfway across the country for love. I almost think that he HAS to go down there, and, if things do not turn out favorably, then that is a harsh, raw, lesson to be learned, and that he can move forward from there. I am hoping against hope that he hasn't met Priscilla, Queen of the Desert, and I will certainly keep you posted.

Out of respect, I will not put the pictures up. I truly hope that he has found the woman of his dreams. I really hope that she is just an exotic, different looking kind of CHICK, but Jesus, Mary, and Joseph, I would be the farm that this person is a MAN!

**UPDATED** I have a friend, who is a MASTER at all things internet related, including dating. I asked his advice about this as well (and showed him the pictures). He didn't necessarily agree with my pronouncement of her being a Wong Foo, but he did say, and I quote: "I don't think this is a man. She looks OK, but something is not right. I added her to my IM and will try to see what the hell is up with this chick". And TRUSS! He will do it. . . He has NO shame :) THANKS, UNCLE B-LOVE!

What Should I Say/Do?

Hell Date

Tall.Dark.Sexy.Professional Ball Player. The guy who approached me in the mall several years ago. And although the "my knee got messed up and I couldn't play in the pros for the NBA so now I'm playing overseas" line is kind of played right now, it was still cool back in the nineties.

Needless to say, the brother got a date. Not because he was a ballplayer, but because he was cute, not to mention he had nice hands, and I've got a thing for nice hands on a man. Nothing effiminate, but if you are going to be rubbing on me, I would prefer that you don't bite your nails to a quick and give me any more marks that I received roughhousing as a little tyke.

We decided upon everyone's faux-pas Mexican restaurant, El Torito. Upon arriving there, he starts patting his pockets, similar to the way a man would if he was trying to find his keys. After about half a minute, I offer the obligatory "What's Wrong?" comment, to which he says:

"Dammit, I forgot my ATM Card!"

(Insert black stare here)

I don't know what kind of new fool he thought I was, so I asked him "Well, do you want to go back and get it?" He said naw, and that he would have more than enough cash on him. Meanwhile, he's still patting himself down like he's doing a self check for the LAPD.

As we approached the front door, he was beckoning me towards sitting in the bar area. I said no, and he wanted to know why. I told him: For one , I don't drink, and for two, there is plenty of seating available in the regular section. Then all of a sudden, he looks at me with this incredulous look on his face and says:

"What, you don't want no WINGS?? No chips and Salsa?? I got me a taste for some WINGS!"

He must be smoking that good sh**. He doesn't want to pay for a dinner, and he is trying to get us to sit down and have some appetizers to substitute FOR that. After going back and forth with him, I gave into his wing tantrum and went into the bar area, STRICTLY BECAUSE I WANTED THIS DATE TO BE OVER WITH. Needless to say, my appetite was GONE - but NOT his. . . He proceeded to eat those hot wings, chips and salsa like he was one of the children from the Christian Children's Fund. I went through about a thirty minute torture session with him trying to reach over and rub my arms, to which, I gave him frequent dirty looks.

I was totally disgusted. Not because of the appetizers or because I am high maintenance, but because he tried to PLAY ME. And thats not cool. So, anyway, when we get back to his house (I had driven my car over there and we rode together to the restaurant), he pulled up in front of my house, and asked me did I want to come in. Assuming that he wanted me to 'cum' in and not come in, I respectfully declined. He then started rubbing on my legs. I moved his hand away. Then he asked to see my feet.

Hells Bells, why not. Do you know this fool reached over and started sucking my toes??

((Insert appalled look here))

I yanked my foot out of his mouth and grabbed my shoe, and slammed the door on him, never looked back, and didn't lose any sleep over him.

Well, that's not exactly true. . .

About six months later, I left the television on one night, and the show "Change of Heart" came on. You remember that show, don't you? A couple would come on, trying to salvage their relationship, and then they would go on separate dates to see if they still wanted to hang with each other. In my groggy, slob induced sleep, I hear HIS name and HIS voice. I jumped straight up, scared that he was inhabiting my dreams like Freddy Krueger. Needless to say, he was on there, and guess what else.

THE GIRL THAT HE TOOK OUT ON THE DATE, HE TOLD HER THAT HE ALSO LEFT HIS ATM CARD AT HOME, ATE CHIPS AND SALSA, AND TRIED TO SUCK ON HER TOES.

Nasty.Bastard.

Tell us AboutYOUR Hell Date? Anyone you know been on one? Are YOU a hell date?

Freek-a-leek

I used to date this guy that had a foot fetish.

Now, I know all brothers say they don't want a woman whose feet looks as if they have been kicking rocks. I also know that in classic Boomerang fashion, that the fascination with feet escalated to an all time high.

But this brother was on some different kind of sh**.

This guy had a foot fetish that beats all foot fetishes. I used to work with him (broke working rule 101), and he actually said that he intially saw me from behind. Now, normally, if brothers see you from behind, they tend to look at, well, YOUR BEHIND.

I should have known something was rotten in the state of Denmark when this mofo when he said the first thing that he looked at was the heels of my feet.

The first time that we went out (it was to a coffeehouse). My legs were crossed in the direction that was not facing him. He actually made a special request for me to uncross my legs, and cross them in the other direction, so that he could SEE my feet at a better angle. I didn't think anything of it then, I just thought he wanted to check out the french tip. Later on in the relationship he told me when he was a little boy, that his mom's friends would come over, and they just thought he was the most obedient, friendly child. He said he was just happy because they would come over with sandals on.

Run, Forrest, Run, right? Okay, the dude was fine and at that time I was pretty interested in giving his goatee a protein shake.

ANYWAY. . .Needless to say, after we became involved, and we would participate in, 'extracurricular horizontal activities', the first thing on deck for him to do would be for him to give me an intensive, lengthy foot massage. Now, ladies, I know this is Heaven on Earth, and I agree wholeheartedly. However, it became increasing disturbing that he was getting an equal amount of pleasure (which is okay) in doing this, but he seemed to delight in it maybe even more so than I was!! Even to the point that he would appear irritable if I wasn't particularly ready, or interested in him rubbing my feet AT THAT POINT.

He was (I believe) harmless, and, after all he could throw that "D". Did I mention that he was phoine?!?! However, things started getting out of hand when he would email me and ask me what kind of shoes I had on.

Y'all stop laughing.

This wasn't necessarily the downfall of our relationship (not at all), we just went in separate directions. Not to mention that his increasing requests and unquenching desire for all things feet was starting to supercede his other attributes and quickly became, well. . . ANNOYING.

He eventually married a few years later, and much to his (and her) chagrin, he's been caught looking at women's feet, and, sometimes, confronted with printouts of women's feet (which, in his opinion, the more ORNATE with jewelry, the better) that he has found on the internet.

The boy needs help. But I don't believe he wants it. I think he revels in his sickness. Also in classic boomerang style, he has out and out said that he wouldn't date a woman, no matter HOW FINE she is, if her feet were unattractive.

Now, I won't go as far as saying (in public - hahaha) that I have any fetishes. Now, some folks I would consider having some serious fetishes are people like Marv Albert , who likes to take a bite out of crime when it comes to women, as well as trot around in their panties, and Rachael Ray's husband is just NASTY. What I DO enjoy looking at though, is a man's hands. They don't have to be perfect; because if they are I'm prolly going to get freaked out and think he has a case of bitchitis. But what I don't want, is someone that bites their nails down to the quick. Eew. But on the inverse, I do NOT want someone whose nails on their hands are longer than mines. That's a little too OG pimp Bishop Don Magic Juan for my taste. I also believe that no matter whether or not a brother is blue collar or white collar, your hands don't have to feel like you're a field slave, so I definitely enjoy them to be relatively smooth. Not so smooth whether I question if the brother has ever even changed a TIRE, but also hands not rough enough to cut diamonds, either.

Had to be said, enough said.

Do you know anyone that has any peculiar fetishes? Do YOU have some? Anonymous Posts ROCK!!

Irrational Fears/Phobias - Part Deux

One of my favorite posts on her blog was the post on Irrational Phobias. I thought when I was reading it that it was more funny than anything. I want to say I was sympathetic to what people were saying, but the manner in which they were commenting and the far out things that were being said (present company included) just kept me ROLLING for the entire post.

She was referring to things (irrational maybe to US - totally legitimate and valid to those who deal with it) that people just don't like. That which gives you the heebie-jeebies, or, something that, you just can't put your finger on, just gives you the creeps. If you look in her comments section, you would be surprised at some of the stuff that really just gets under people's skin.

Taken from the irrational phobia dictionary. Supa has some personal ones that she picked out on her post regarding this as well; and here are some of the ones that I found interesting:

Botanophobia: Fear of plants.
Chaetophobia: Fear of hair.
Enetophobia: Fear of pins.
Euphobia: Fear of hearing good news. (what the hell is THAT about)
Textophobia: Fear of certain fabrics. (I think this might be me)
Graphophobia: Fear of writing or handwriting.

Okay, you get the point.

My friend was watching the Maury Povich show, and she said there were people on there that were deathly afraid of different things, up to an including: Mustard, balloons, and clowns. She told me that these people would take off running (stop laughing!) when presented with these things that they feared.

Now, I won't go as far as saying that I'm fearful of particular things, but I must admit that I Do have some irrational phobias that have made many of my friends and family chuckle. Supa in particular (and I'm not telling her business, it's on her post), actually talks about her fear of pine cones.

I have another girlfriend who doesn't cook with anything but wooden utensils, because she doesn't like the sound of metal against any of her cooking products. It's not anything that's a scraping sounds, she doesn't like the way it sounds AT ALL. I have another friend who doesn't like how honeycombs look and, in fact, instructed one of the salespeople at our job that she would NOT help him unless he took off that tie, because it was distracting her. Him, knowing how she was, took it all in stride and promptly removed the tie.

My niece doesn't like to see anything that is bundled or bunched together (like a pack of birds, or a bunch of say, teddy bears in one spot). She gets creeped out.

On to me. . .there is only one thing that bothers me. Unusual patterns. My hairs on my arms and the back of my neck are standing up even as I type this.

If you are wondering what kinds of patterns, it's not all of them, but if it is going in a certain direction, or too many directions, or just has a weird look to it, for some reason it just triggers something in my nervous system and it gives me the CREEPS! One such pattern is crop circles. I have heard that the Mel Gibson movie "Signs" is an EXCELLENT movie . . .however, you won't catch me dead watching it because of the crop circles. Now, I can sit and watch an autopsy, faces of death, and any other bloody mess, but show me a crop circle or a wall with too many cracks in it, or some fabric that has way too much going on it in, and I'm NOT going to be happy.

I don't even like typing the word crop circles.

Stop laughing.

Anyway, I know there are innumerable people in the world with their own idiosynchracies. Some people don't like heights, some people can't sleep or eat without certain items, so let us know what they are. . .

Do you or someone you know have an irrational phobia?