Monday, a friend of mine, Tuesday, we played a game, Wednesday, you went away, Thursday, things weren't the same, On Friday, you came back, I wanted to kiss you On Saturday, On Sunday we made love Now what are we gonna do - "Seven Days" - Mary J. Blige
I have had innumerable conversations with both men and women alike on the subject of whether or not they believe men and women can be friends. I have received different replies, many of which are resounding "YES!". And for those who do say "NO" - equally as resounding, they always do list exceptions to the rule, such as a childhood friend and/or a good friend of the family.
Now, we are not talking co-workers here, or my sister's BFF, or my brothers best friend cousin. We are talking about ongoing, lasting, and fulfilling relationships, non sexual, between a man and a woman.
There are those that take the stance that men and women, for the most part, cannot be platonic friends. They argue that, even though there are onesie and twosie examples of the exception to the rule, exceptions prove the rule. There is the belief system that for the most part, an opposite sex relationship comes from: An initial attraction that dissipated quickly (from one side) and the people continued to remain friends, OR, a situation where one pines (secretly) over another person, and continues to be that great BFF until they either think a lightbulb is going to shine in the head of the other person, or that they will have an opportunity to, for lack of a better word, penetrate the best friend from a romantic standpoint. That, male/female relationships are just one person seeing the other one as 'just a friend' and the other person, knowing that they are seen in the eyes of the their BFF as someone that is strictly a confidant, takes the relationship for what it is, and continues to develop the relationship, and enjoy the person, for how they can have them. But BOTTOM LINE, if the opportunity presents itself because, the underlying attraction is there, at least for one. . .
For the argument that takes the stance that men and women CAN be friends, they cite that communication, connectivity, confidance, and comfort break gender barriers, and you cannot help who you feel most comfortable with, sharing your deepest, (and sometimes darkest secrets). THIS IS YOUR BEST FRIEND, MAKE NO BONES ABOUT IT. This is the person that understands you, and can even provide you advice from the gender perspective that you are looking for, particularly if you are looking for relationship advice. They are the people that know about that someone special first, and are equally the ones that hear about the drama, and the pain as well about anything and everything in your life. Yes, even their arms you feel secure in, and so what if there is some underlying attraction there; the platonic relationship is valued so much more, you would never want to cross that line. And that there are truly Will and Grace's of the world.
Can Men and Women Just Be Friends?
Or Do You Believe This is A Pretense?