Living in the Matrix

I am a broke philanthropist.

I am a firm believer of giving. Always have been. Of recent, I have been inspired by Shaq and his desire to bail homeowners out of their mortgage crisis. Though I have my own theories about the adjustable rates and interest only loans, I do believe that his heart is in the right place. He is always thinking of others. Even in his adopted town of Los Angeles, he does his Shaq-A-Claus events, where he gives away hundreds of thousands of clothes and food for those that need it.

Most people, rich or poor, do not feel or believe in that.

When I was a child, before my parents separated, my father was good on that. He is an extremely observant and intuitive man who has a knack for identifying a need. There was MANY a day where my brother's friends would come over, and he would all of a sudden take off for hours with the boys, and then everyone would come back with a new pair of kicks (friends included). I believe, this is where I get my generosity from.

Generosity doesn't mean being a sucka. This is not about this conversation. But it does mean, that most people are in a position to alter the course of some one's life, by a simple gift in kind. Money is relative. Fifty dollars is a fortune to someone struggling.

But, alas again, most people are concerned about 'me and mine'. But that's not how life is. And for people that may say that my unmarried, childless self will feel different when my circumstances change, I say.

That's a dayum lie. Do you know how many miserable, unhappy married folks I know (as well as single). So that isn't a predictor for joy, so save that for the folks that take the blue pill.

Granted, you shouldn't be concerned about others if you're barely getting by yourself, but generally speaking most people at some point, have a surplus in their lives where they can help. And, it's not always about MONEY. If you don't have the tools financially to support someone, use other skills: Be a companion, a confidant. Use your skills (creative or otherwise), to give someone that shot in the arm that they desperately need. Use your love, or time, or support, or communicating. You may have a resource for someone, if in fact, you are not in a position to help in any way. That's call connecting. That's creating a support system.

There is a difference between a handout and a helping hand. And everyone needs that. In our Western Civilization and culture, we are not trained to develop our minds like such; being in the mode of giving, and creating your own communities to become interdependent upon each other. In doing so, we create a strong hand where all of us can utilize each others resources. The Mormons do it all the time. As Don Cornelius says, you can bet your bottom dollar that you will NEVER see a broke Mormon.

What about us? We have the ability and opportunity to do it ourselves. This is what creates your true family and community. What good is our lives and what we have lived to obtain (i.e., the AmeriKKKan dream), if we don't pay it forward, and use our resources to build others lives, as well as OURS.

Otherwise, we take the blue pill and are living in the Matrix. Going back and forth in our routines, making sure that we are set, that WE are okay, and that WE have what we need. And everybody else, well, just get in where you fit in.

Take the red pill.

Question for the day: If you had an abundance of resources (Time, Money, etc.), where/who would you give to?

TKO

Hey y'all I have been a day late and a dollar short in posting. There are so many things going on with me, both personally and professionally.

Everything and anything you could imagine, has happened to me in the course of six months (Yes, I am in VERy good health, No, I have NOT been a victim of crime, and NO, I have NOT been knocked up).

Other than the aforementioned, think about something that can happen to a girl in a six month period. YEP, it happened. Check out all my labels for the posting, and you can use your imagination about the "what had happened wuz's"

NOT TO MENTION, my current (and hopefully soon to be past) employer has blocked out blogger. Who do they think they are, when is a girl like me supposed to blow off steam? On my own home computer on my own personal time? Hehehe.

Like the Terminator, I'll be back, and when I am, don't call it a comeback.

Miss P.

Big Love

Smart, Attractive, great guy. Met him on the fly. Nice enough guy.

During the course of the conversation (email/im generally). He asks me have I had the opportunity to read Isaiah, Chapter 3 and 4. Me, being me, I was thinking he wanted to offer his own bootleg Bible commentary/philosophicizin that is generally reserved for my Strongs Exhaustive Concordance of the Bible. I told him I may have read it in a church session or some quiet time, but I couldn't recite it a la John 3:16 or anything.

He insisted on me reading it. I told him I would when I got the chance. The next email/IM asked me had I AGAIN read it, to which I figured he was trying to get a message across, so I did read it. Now, for those that are not into organized religion or anything like that, your opinions are just that - your opinions. That's not the focus of this conversation. The focus of this conversation is actually the exact opposite, in fact. It's a guys views on a particular subject. :) Long story long, he asked me did I GET it. I wasn't sure exactly what he meant by that, so without further adieu, here is the (abridged) conversation.

Brother: Don't you get it. It's about having abundance, and that includes being healthy and happy in a polyamorous relationship.

P: ?

Brother: A real man he can handle it ... Remember its not a sin to have two wives but it is to be a hoe . . .

P: I'm COOL on the whole little "big love" thing, but if it works for you, fine. (At this point, I'm trying to figure out how to not talk to him anymore, but my nosey azz wants to know more). And I can't believe you had the nerve to bring up the KGV in this mess.

Brother: As I had the nerve to bring up KJV Isaiah 3 & 4, I'm wondering if the Sister was bold enough to read it. With more then 40% of the Black Women in America single I think the Black women has a big decision to make and its a tough one. Hoes or Wives? Right now the hoes are winning. Check the states. So now what is a hoe ... that is anyone sleeping around without being married, am I wrong ... It seems like Black women would rather be hoes then a genuine mans second wife. In this whore culture the hoe game starts of early and does not taper down until about 55 look around this is a whore culture ... I can have right now as many hoes as I like but legally only one wife ... this whore culture sets the brother up for sin all day long ... thus the average brother has no sincere relationship with God, filled with lies and deception just for some pussy never gaining a full relationship but just some pussy. See we are Royalty stuck in a whore culture ... you seem attentive is this a whore culture? Did you read Isaiah 3 & 4 KJV

P: Puhleeze. I have not problem attracting or getting black men. A good looking woman can get who she wants when she wants it and it has nothing to do with the education level. Save the speech brother. Wrong chick to philosophicize too.

Brother: Empress, (who the phuck is "Empress") You have not said anything contrary to my point. But Sista, having multiple wives is bibically sound doctrine being a hoe is not. So were you bold enough, Black Women? Isaiah 3 & 4. Dis ant no philosophie iza way 4 life, See.

P: I read both the new and the old testament while ya playing and the new testament talks about being the husband of ONE wife, thankyouverymuch, and even if it didn't say that and whether or not someone is a believer, you just spitting a bunch of B.S.

Brother: O' Black Woman (WTF!!) I just had this thought. Can you read Isaiah 3 & 4 for me on the phone later this evening. This is UNSELFISH LOVE! Jah See and know hoes run from the scripture all day long.

P: Are you a five percenter or something?

Brother: The new testement says no such thing. You can have vain imagination of Jesus suggesting that in scripture but it is not outlawed ... So Christ says the scriptue can not be broken John 10 ... the only laws effected with Jesus are the sacrificial laws ... remember he is the Sacrificial Lamb ... It comes down to hoes or wives and the hoes are winning in this hoe culture ... hoes or wives really is the question. I'm a Bible based Christian Old and New testament. What nigga what! Whats real is real and thats going to always be between you and God and him and whoever else. You have to show and prove, see ... sit down and read Isaiah 3 & 4 it spells out who the hoes are. Sister, men are suffering form what most are, they are dealing with porn all day long it on the net for FREE its in the music, the whore culture is everywhere look around hoes get the most props out here but a wife??? ... the hoe market is wide open from 18 to 60 the women are putting in work rough sex just anything they with it, look on Craigs List. Sex is a god given faculty but people are abusing it like hoes. If you were based in scripture.

P: What the hell are you talking about?

Brother: Sister now that is a very interesting question ... I will build on that with u later but in the mean time read jeremiah 2 and 3 KJV. The laws of righteousness reign supreme over all darkness.

**END OF STORY**

The phucked up part about it is, he does have some points, and he is far from dumb. Nevertheless, not a chance in hell he will be getting a date with the Empress.

Another Tale from the WTF Chronicles.

Your thoughts? You have any tales from the WTF Chronicles?

The Crying Game - **UPDATED**

Friend of mines. New to the internet dating scheme. He's been wounded in real life. In fact, it's THIS guy. Well, he met some 'chick' online, and they have been going at it (online and over the phone) for three months. Now, whether you've ventured into the internet dating scene yourself, or you know people you have, there is no gray ground. It either turns out to be absolutely catastrophic, or a happily ever after experience. (E-Harmony, anyone?)

Needless to say, he called me today to tell me that he has a number change due to some cell phone drama at his other provider. (Translation: Ran up his bill talking to ole girl). He also called to communicate that he has a new career opportunity, that would require him to train for five months in Houston, TX (He is from the "OC"). As painful as it would be for him to be away from his 8 year old son that long, he kept telling me that would be good, because 'his girl' lives there, and 'his girl' this and 'his girl' that. I finally asked him "Well, I don't talk to you much anymore, and you haven't updated me on ole girl, so what's up with y'all?" to which (condensed version), he says:

- I'm in love. She totally has my heart.

- I am going to marry this woman

- She is my soulmate. I have NEVER felt anything like this before.

- She's the one.

- We are getting married in the Virgin Islands. I want you to come.

- She has my heart. I'm hopeless.

Blog Fam: I have known this man for five years. I have NEVER heard his voice sound like this. EVAH!!!

Now, with all he said, I am thinking, at the same time:

- I've seen her pictures

- Her breasts look augmented

- She always shows from the waist up, and not the hips

- Pictures are bright enough to see, but dim enough not to see ENOUGH.

- It doesn't look like her apartment has any furniture in it.

- I think 'she' is a 'SHIM'.

- All of her pictures are profiles and not straight up looks.

- Her hands are large. As in "These look like a man's hands with acrylic" type of large.

- Email address is Nu Image (WTF?)

He is so far gone that I don't believe that anything I tell him will dissuade him. I believe that this is part of the ploy from Wong Foo. Get him down there so he won't want to look at your goodies, then, go downtown on him, pull a 68 you owe me one, and considering that this SHIM can probably suck a golf ball through a garden hose, that won't help matters much.

I don't want to sound like a spoil sport. However, I certainly don't want him to go down there blind and then come back crushed from some BS. I don't mind communicating the information to him; however, what if the chances are that the SHIM is, in fact, a SHE? Then I've communicated to him that I think his girl is a Ru-Paul rip off, he is going to be HOT, at the least, feeling hurt at the most.

I have considered just sending him an email of love, letting him know that in the world of dating, LET ALONE INTERNET DATING (which I have not tried, but I would assume,) is very easy to exhale. It's almost like folks that write you from jail - people are on their best behavior. They can create whoever they want to be. And to be careful and safe as he travels halfway across the country for love. I almost think that he HAS to go down there, and, if things do not turn out favorably, then that is a harsh, raw, lesson to be learned, and that he can move forward from there. I am hoping against hope that he hasn't met Priscilla, Queen of the Desert, and I will certainly keep you posted.

Out of respect, I will not put the pictures up. I truly hope that he has found the woman of his dreams. I really hope that she is just an exotic, different looking kind of CHICK, but Jesus, Mary, and Joseph, I would be the farm that this person is a MAN!

**UPDATED** I have a friend, who is a MASTER at all things internet related, including dating. I asked his advice about this as well (and showed him the pictures). He didn't necessarily agree with my pronouncement of her being a Wong Foo, but he did say, and I quote: "I don't think this is a man. She looks OK, but something is not right. I added her to my IM and will try to see what the hell is up with this chick". And TRUSS! He will do it. . . He has NO shame :) THANKS, UNCLE B-LOVE!

What Should I Say/Do?

Scenes We Love - November

I decided to do another take on my Old Skool Joint and throw some movies into the pot. These three scenes need no particular introduction. First scene is aiight, but skip about two minutes into this and you get some classic (fill in the blank). You don't have to be a woman to enjoy the brilliance, the magnificent, the 'realness', for lack of a better word, of this Yale School of Drama graduate. She makes you BELIEVE her character. Few people are able to transcend the ability to do this for me (there are others - Joaquin Phoenix, Denzel, Giancarlo Esposito, Gary Sinise, Don Cheadle, amongst the few who DO). Hey, I don't know what I love more: "You're the Mutha ***** IMPROPER influence!" or "Tramp BIOTCH!" Gotta Love it. Enjoy!

Yours, Mines, and Ours

Deebo: Oh, *that* bike. Didn't know you wanted it back, homie. It's right here. Follow me, homie.

Red: Yeah, it's just like it's both of ours... we just keep it down at my house. .

- Deebo and Red - "Friday"

Recently, an acquaintance of mines and I were discussing their more than likely upcoming nuptials. They have been dating this person for awhile and the direction of their relationship is headed towards marriage. The converversation shifted to discuss whether or not a prenuptial agreement should be put into place.

Background on the friend: Came from very very humble beginnings, to say the least. They value what they have, (as we all should). Sidebar: I know many people who value what they have, but I also know that some of these same folks suffer from delusions of grandeur. But I believe that is attached to traumatic childhood experiences, that often gets in the way of LIFE, because they have not chosen to overcome it, so they compensate with what they have, sometimes ad nauseum. But okay, back to the friend. The person they are considering marrying has a stable job (no home, but hey this is Cali, that's neither here nor there), very loving and caring, and very dedicated to the relationship. Both of them have children that they support.

(By the way, I am purposely leaving this gender neutral in order to keep this as objective as possible).

With that said, there are different sides to the pre-nuptial agreement debate:

The "Just in Case" Crowd: With 50 percent of marriages ending in divorce, and with laws governing divorce varying from state to state, which generally have some guidelines regarding community property. According to Wikipedia, community property dictates that most property acquired during the marriage (except for gifts or inheritances) is owned jointly by both spouses and is divided upon divorce, annulment, or death. And this, ladies and gentleman is the reason why people like Juanita Jordan, Ivana Trump, and yes, even K-Fed make out handsomely during a divorce. It is based upon what was earned during the time of the marital relationship. People believe that if in fact the fairy tale turns into a fairy hell, then there are contractual guidelines that will assist with the subsequent dissolution of the relationship. Furthermore, if in fact, one or the other couple becomes more financially profitable during this period, then, again, motions are set in place to adequately resolve any issues that may come up.

The "For Better or for Worse" Crowd: The believe that you are setting up your marriage on a conditional basis is often tantamount to blaspheming the Holy Spirit. Many folks believe that it is then, that you are watering down your vows to nothing more than a legal mantra of gobbledygook that you have to proceed with in order to make it official. Believing that you are putting your personal treasures ahead of your feelings, the conditional aspects of what one considers a binding love affair can be lauded as nothing more as say, a "bidness" arrangement. And, to the argument that if a person becomes more financially profitable during the relationship, then so be it. It was during the relationship, marriage is a two partner, one way street, and why not, indeed, share in the "Better" factor of the relationship?

Both sides have valid arguments. Both sides, also, have valid flaws (depending on your interpretation or position).

What are your thoughts on Pre-Nup's? Agree, disagree, or on the fence?

The Alpha and Omega

Have a Great Weekend, Everyone!