Monday, October 30, 2006


"Cuz he ain't no different from you and she ain't no different from me, so we got to live out our dreams, like the people on tv. . ." - Alicia Keys, Unbreakable.

I am a sucker for romance, and the warm fuzzies associated with it. Not in the chick flick kind of way - more on an inspirational sense. In a state where relationships are threatened on a daily basis, and the measuring standard of love, for both men and women, is based on immediate feelings, and NOT the long haul, it is always refreshing to see a couple, older or younger, obviously together for a long time, holding hands, or looking at each other with the familiarity of one who can do that as a result of a long term relationship.

Now, with that out the way, I am going to give you who I think are some of my all time bomb ass couples that I enjoyed watching their relationships grow and develop. Yes, I know they are fictional, play along with me here. . . But I also know that life imitates art. . .

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Sam and Mollie - Ghost

This couple impacted me in many ways. It had only been a while since I had lost one of my very best friends in an auto accident, and the whole theme around this movie fascinated me. But the feelings associated with someone that you have a strong connection to, such as these two, are REAL - whether the person has left the earth or not - this is something I also understood. A tearjerker, and a couple who love had no limits. Not even death. :)

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Claudine and "Ru" - Claudine

Any-buddy who has seen this movie knows that this is a 'Man's Man' and Claudine is a 'Ride of Die' chick, even before that term came out. This love was sustained through poverty, the gub-ment trying to keep them down, children, and other influences. In 1972, it was hard enough, surely, for a black couple trying to sustain, but they did it, and made it, as Alicia Keys said, through the technical difficulties. One of my all time favorite couples, bar none.

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Forrest and Jenny - Forrest Gump

Love is simple. It really is. People make it complicated. We really do. But Forrest didn't. Forrest's love for Jenny was so pure, it was almost painful to watch. He loved her through and through, regardless of her actions and activities (which, eventually cost her her life), and, that, is what made her come back to him (and probably because she had nowhere else to go!) But anyway, I believe that her authenticity in loving him was true, too, and was one of the reasons why she was running for so long.

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Jason and Lyric - Jason's Lyric

Ride or Die at it's finest. You could feel the love throughout this movie. And when she was shot at the end, I felt like I held my breath through the entire scene. The love that these two shared was deep, true, sensual, and real. It made both of them grow and trust, and breakaway. And that's why it should do.

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Flo and James - Good Times

Sure, sometimes James yelled too much, and sometimes Flo was a little over the top with her emotional antics, but the fit together. Both of them adored each other and their kids, and until CBS television studios decided to act as if a buffonnish character was more important than a father figure, this relationship worked out quite nicely.

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The Supercouples: Luke and Laura Spencer (General Hospital), Cruz and Eden Castillo (Santa Barbara), and Nikki and Victor Newman (Y & R)

Being the latch key teenage child that I was, I was totally into Soap Operas back in the day and back in the day, Supercouples were what was hot on the streets.

Luke and Laura: I never watched GH, but I knew for dayum sure who they were. I was kind of creeped out when I found out he raped her, and then they ended up together, but I had to include them on GP because one, there was a song that was made after them, and two, EVERYBODY knows who Luke and Laura are.

Cruz and Eden: My personal favorites. I was a HUGE Santa Barbara fan back in my ABC Afterschool Special Tween years, and the relationship between these two (Played by Marcy Walker and A Martinez) was indeed special. There is a Santa Barbara web site dedicated to fans of the show, and the Cruz and Eden characters readily admit, that, although they never dated, they believed that they were real life soulmates, and that's how come their chemistry was so well on the scene.

Victor and Nikki: The song "I'm in love with a Stripper" would fit in quite nicely here. I havent' watched soaps in over a decade, but I know these mofos are still smelling up on each other - even after divorces, affairs, children, and anything else in between that fills in the soap opera drama gap. When I'm in the grocery store, and I see the magazines at the front counter they are still plastered on the front. . Hell, Victor and Nikki are like Luke and Laura for the CBS soap watchers.

So, who are your "Unbreakable Couples?" Are any of yours on THIS list?

Monday, October 23, 2006

Random Thoughts Monday

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I couldn't sleep , so after I stayed up until four am to watch the Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants, I turned off EVERYTHING, and started thinking about rambling thoughts. And then I turned the computer back on. I'm giving this to you, straight with no chaser, so without further adieu, here are my random thoughts:

  • Wendy Williams talks too much. She HAS to know that.
  • There is always one girl that always wins all the fucken games at the bridal/baby shower. What she doesn't realize is that we don't really care that she won.
  • Hotmail's email program sucks eggs.
  • I love Spinach. But I won't be buying that bitch no.time.soon!!
  • Boost and Nextel suck when people are noisily using their two way in grocery stores, restaurants, etc.
  • P Diddy gets on my nerves. I don't know why.
  • How come your jam comes on the radio right before you get out the car? And pre-ipod/download, didn't you drive around in your car until the song went off?
  • Who initiates the electric slide at weddings? And how does it end?
  • Dateline's "To Catch A Predator" is must-see-tv.
  • It's fun getting text messages.
  • Who is Deelishus' baby daddy?
  • If Obama runs for president, I am going to vote for him on GP
  • Speaking of presidents, why do we call former president Clinton "Bill", like we are on a first name basis with him?
    Does anybody remember Aspen soda?
  • Little children these days are the most no-going-outside mofos I've ever seen in my life!!
  • Is ICQ still around? If so, does anybody still use it?
  • I always seem to get behind the person at the ATM with multiple transactions and/or appears to have never used the machine before.
  • Remember how cool you thought you were if you have the words to Roxanne, Roxanne?
    What happened to Freaknik?
  • AND En Vogue? (Tam or Glam I am sure have some sort of answer to this).
  • What exactly does Mr. Star Jones DO for a living?
  • Remember the 'mini black power' movement of the late 80's, early 90's (african medallions, final call papers, etc)?
  • Why are the workers at the DMV so grouchy?
  • Remember when Video Vibrations on BET showed Lovergirl by Teena Marie
  • Where's the AIDS quilt?
  • Remember when erry-boddy was talking about the Robin Givens/Mike Tyson Interview: "He shakes, he pushes, he shoves. . ." LOL!!
  • How come when you think you looking hella good you get no play and then people are trying to run you down when you look like hell in a handbasket?
  • Does anybody think that Beyonce and Jay-Z's relationship closely mirrors the pimp/whore relationship?

Any concurrence? What are YOUR random thoughts?

Thursday, October 12, 2006

Operation Negro Search

Usually I leave topics like this to the expert, but I am curious as to the status of many people, cause celebres in thier own right.

There were those we had high expectations of SuperStar status, those that were fresh new faces, what was cool and what was hot. And then there were the elite that catapulted to iconic status during their tenure in a Jet Magazine/Ebony/Essence fueled era.

Narrow is NOT the gate. Wide is the gate to the many who have been ushered into our lives with great expectation, either as a "breakout" star, or "one to watch".

Here are some of my choices:

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After groundbreaking roles in the movie "Angel Dust", and his smoother than performance as Ricardo Tubbs in the critically acclaimed Miami Vice, Philip Michael Thomas was, indeed, our black man walking. With the coolest apparel to boot, coupled with a foray into the music would with his memorable album "Living the Book of My Life", he has a multitude of talents, including his support of the "Psychic Friends Network". With this litany of talent, our community needs you, Philip. Where you is?

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First introduced to us as the woman with the lustrous Jheri (or was is an "S" Curl) in the commercials that captured out heart and souls, Ola Ray catapulted to tight blue jean status with her co-starring role as the burgundy lip gloss infused date of Michael Jackson in the international smash video, "Thriller". We expected big thangs, big thangs, from a woman with equally big hair. Where did she run off to?

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This brothers descent into virtual oblivion is disturbing on so many levels it is impossible to list. You wonder why this picture is so small. Glad you asked. I can't FIND any pictures of Christopher Williams online right now other than small scale ones like this. Now Christopher Williams - he was ONE for the books. One of those universally fine brothers where even if you didn't like 'that' kind of brother, you thought that mutha fucka was phoine. With a beautiful voice to boot. By the time he was in New Jack City, I was officially hooked. Sidebar: It is true he used to weigh alot and lost weight as soon as he got out, has a baby by Stacey Dash, and is the one that knocked Halle Berry into next week. Please advise.

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We saw her as the ghettofabulous woman with a heart of Gold in "Jason's Lyric" the woman who was the confidant and friend of Nia Long's character in "Love Jones", the woman who hypnotized and seduced both Denzel and Samuel L. Jackson in "Devil in a Blue Dress" and "Eve's Bayou", respectively. She is the crazy, sexy, cool homey, lover, friend. However, based on reports of her mental status, she seems to be relishing in the crazy status more than anything at this point. Honeychild, I don't know where you are and what you are looking for; hopefully it's your mind because I heard you lost it a long time ago; come back to us soon.

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Although most of us couldn't get past the fact that his lips screamed and yearned for chap stick on the regular, we were all delighted at the prescence of a strong black man on television; one who exuded equal confidence, vulnerability, strength and weakness all in the form of a one hour period, Thursday Nights on Fox. He could get to be a bit much to look at if he wasn't edged up with his hair, but ultimately, we enjoyed his prescence, and a good time was had by all in the short span of the love affair we called "New York Undercover".

Now it's time to turn it over to y'all:
Who would you like to include in the Operation Negro Search?

Wednesday, October 04, 2006

From the Cradle To The Grave

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Congratulations, you have a healthy baby boy!

The Y chomosome. The determining factor as to whether or not you are bringing a female (XX) or a male (XY) species into the world.

In Nathan McCall's book, Makes Me Wanna Holler, he talks about the very moment his girlfriend gave birth to a son. Where there should have been joy, he felt grief. He felt burdened, and he felt the burdens of his son.

As he should. As professional and educated as men of color are, they are still subjected to violence.

Generally speaking, the element and stench of concern that is passed down is usually generated towards the female population, no doubt in warning of a sexual attack. Often times, you don't see women walking down the street at night, or driving with their doors unlocked, or anything that would provoke random acts of violence.

But our boys do.

My criminal justice professor told me, actually, that ALL men are subjected more to a violent crime than women. Criminals don't look for gender; they look for opportunities. More often than not, crimes are NOT random. However, the journalistic sensation that causes all of us to look a little harder at the ATM, double bolt our locks at the hiss of the wind, and decide to finally take that self defense course is aimed at the rational - and irrational fears, that violent crimes - sensationalized, depicted, and lusted after by the media - portrays.

In two years time, I have known or heard of at least five black men, killed over an argument gone awry, too much liquor, a hit and run, or anything in between.

  • My hairdressers brother was at a party and was murdered while someone was shooting as someone else.
  • My friend's nephew was murdered over cross words to someone else.
  • A guy I went to high school with and his girlfriend were killed by her ex boyfriend.

And so on and so on.

I say all this to say, that violence pervades our culture. And for those that say education is the key, I beg to differ. Sure, life is a choice. And there are those that grew up less fortunate that have paved a way for theirselves, as well as those that grew up silver spooned and turned out to be hot messes. However, we are a more educated culture then we ever have been, yet the things that invade our homes via the evening news and/or that cause all of us shock and dismay have accelerated over the past few decades. That sounds like a moral fabric issue more than an educated issue, but that's another subject.

My intent is not to switch reels, so I won't. My concern, however, are what is happening to our men, our co leaders in this world, in a place where changing a tire can cost them their life. We add layers to it when there are socio economic factors involved. Where a choice that one makes is predicated on finances and emotional conditions. Trust me when I tell you that I am one for personal responsbility, but I often know that the role of a parent is one of encouragement, and if you can't get over that first hurdle, sometimes, the tangled web that you weave, cannot be unraveled.

I heart for our black men. I heart for all of our boys. I want them to succeed. I want them to lead. I want them to love, and I want them to live.

What do You See In The Future of Our Young Black Men?

This is dedicated to all of our menfolk: The strong, the powerful, the invincible, the loving, the babymakers, the comforters, the keepers, the spirtual guiders, the ones that make us laugh (and cry), the ones that throw down, the ones that say 'baby' and make us melt, AND to the ones that we have loved and lost - to the streets, and to the grave.