Tuesday, February 13, 2007

I Wanna Sex You Up

"Though your girlfriends a friend of mine
Here's my number and a dime, call me anytime. . ."
Skyy - Call Me.

Recently, a girlfriend of mines (who is a lurker but not a commenter) confided in me about an incident that happened with a good friend's husband. In the interest of keeping track of things, we will assign names:

Michelle: My friend
John: her dude
Becky: Her friend
Mark: Becky's Husband

What had happened wuz, my girlfriend and her dude had an overnight visit to Becky and Mark's house. Mark, Becky's husband, had a little too much likka in him. Michelle and Becky crashed in one room; Mark and John in the other.

Becky sleeps very very hard and Mark knows this. Without going into all the sordid details out there like that, Mark approaches Michelle at three thirty in the mutha fucken mornin drunk as all get out, commences to attempt to feel her up in her SLEEP (her breasts) and then tells her he has been desiring her for years and wants to perform on her in every way possible. He tells her that he thinks she is incredibly sexy and that he knows she is a freak, because he KNOWS she is. She is appalled, shocked, angry, everything in between. Most of all, she is sleepy, and this is almost surreal for her. She told me that he was looking at her in 'that way' that a man looks at you. He was BEGGING her to let him copulate her. What happened after that is irrelevant to the topic (for the record, she DIDN'T DO ANYTHING WITH HIM), just put it this way: She ain't one to phuck with. Her father will blast anybody who messes with her, and her uncle lives not too far from where it happened, and if she told him, would come by and I quote "snap a nigga's neck and keep it pushing". She handled her business, case is closed.

In any case, this incident triggered a lot of memories of similar incidents that have happened to me.

The first one was when I was in the eleventh grade. My friend was going out with this guy that we all grew up with. Since we all grew up together, we all had each other's personal information/addresses, phone numbers, etc. Well one day we were all on the three way (remember this was the S**** back in the day!!!!) , and she had to get off the phone. So me and dude, we kept talking. Long story short, he went on to profess his feelings for me, and asked me could we hook up on the side for some fooling around. I was authentically shocked! It took me a long time before I confronted my friend with this, who in turn confronted him. He denied it. Our relationship was strained for awhile, but after that, we resumed our friendship. She even went to the prom with that cat. Incidentally, a year later we (me and the guy) ended up scrapping over some bull****, no doubt because of the tension of all of this. In this case, I think she believed me; she just chose to get back with him.

The second incident was more on the ADULT SIDE with my friend's 'baby daddy' about ten years ago. . .I went to elementary school with HER, but I went to high school with HIM. When he was trying to reconcile with her, he was coming at her STRONG. One day he called me expressing her feelings to her about me (remember, I knew HIM before SHE did), and then suddenly there was a shift. It went from talking about her, to it's late why don't you come on by here so I can break you off, considering I had a crush on you and your big booty way back when. FURTHERMORE, he indicated that no one had to know, that we could keep in on the down low, and wouldn't that arrangement be great if he got back with her???

((insert crazy look here))

I was floored. I didn't tell her and this was why. . . Everybody had told her about that fool (and he was one). At that time, she was so blinded by him it was unbelievable. See, he had scorned her before and all she was concerned about was losing him. She had received phone calls from others (friends, strangers and Ex's) warning her of his indiscretions. She went on to five years of marriage and two more before she was truly sick and tired of him.

I have had both male and female friends indicate to me similar incidents. I know for sure, that one of my male friends had some of his girlfriend's WOMEN try to approach him on the DL because she was bragging on him being a freak-a-leek, (a definite rule breaker in my book), so she went all out on a smear campaign AGAINST HER OWN GIRL to try and get it on the DL.

Has this happened to you before?
Have you done/thought about this?
(Anonymous posts are okay)

Friday, February 02, 2007

Blackout Ad Nauseum

28 Days overloaded with jam packed festivities, documentaries, dashikis, annoying office celebrations where you, the resident black girl/guy, is treated better than a field slave, a dash of kinte cloth overdosing, and links to various Mr. & Mrs. Who's Who in Black History has descended upon us.

Truth be told, I like this month, if for nothing other than all of the useful information that I get out of it - most of which is provided for us via internet, TV, radio, print media and all things where we can disseminate information provide some entertaining, and often thought provoking history into the Black Culture, and what has happened over several hundred years.

Without going into a history lesson, the purpose of what was initially supposed to be Negro History Week, was developed to bring insight into what Black Folk have brought to the table, often information which was ignored in history books. It was eventually broadened to extend through the month. Mind you, I understand the initial purpose was to inform and educate, and I truly believe there was a SEVERE need for this, and not too long ago.

However, even though I respect that media outlets that take the time to come up with creative new DNA techniques to determine what tribe you came from in the motherland, and/or providing us with a live slave narrative starring Angela Bassett, and Samuel L. Jackson, why limit it to the month of February? Why are any types of events relegated to the shortest month of the year, torturing others to participate in outside celebrations that they dare not decline for fear of being branded at the very least, racially insensitve, and at the very most, downright intolerant.

365-28 equals a whole lotta other days where all things black have happened, and are equally and important part of the fabric that makes up this country. Personally, I actually benefit from reading online many of the historical, scientific, and entertainment 'firsts' that have occurred within history; but I would prefer that this information be readily available at all times, not just relegated to the front page feel good section of "Today in Black History" on msnbc.com, and then remain virtually ignored (sans Sports, Scandal, and Entertainment) for the remaining portion of the year.

Do I think there are still some discrepancies and some funky things that go down? Hell yeah! Do I believe that people still have racial sterotypes and profiling. You dayum straight.

But I also believe that it's not just Black History - It's history. (I stole that from a Coca-Cola commercial).
Sidebar: Here's some history for yo Azz: Here is a report on the State of Black California - from the California Legislative Black Caucus.

What do you think?