Friday, July 27, 2007

Tag, You're It. . .

Dammit, Sha-Boogie. She tagged me, (I jacked this picture off her blog, though), too. She tagged me cuz she said it's because I'm always over here philosophicizin and stuff and wanted to know a little about me.

That's the purpose of me being incognegro on this blog, not to mention that I've been known to be relatively private, (a lil) so this is about as good as it gets, so like to hear it hear it goes, and I have to admit this was a little harder than I thought it would be!

Yeah, well here's the rules. . .

1. We have to post these rules before we give you the facts.

2. Players start with eight random facts/habits about themselves.

3. People who are tagged need to write their own blog about their eight things and post these rules.

4. At the end of your blog, you need to choose eight people to get tagged and list their names.

5. Don’t forget to leave them a comment telling them they’re tagged, and to read your blog.

1. I was little Miss Sugar and Spice, Lynwood, 1976 (insert blank face here). I won because all the other little girls were made up looking like THIS and I looked like THIS. I also went on to be on one the runner ups of the Little Miss California Pageant. Subsequently, I was approached to be in commercials, but my mother got all freaked out talking about she didn't want any former child star children who would turn out to be drugged out and/or children who could be molested on the road, and any combination thereof. There goes my Rodney Alley Rippey endorsements out the window.

2. I generally eat out of one plate, bowl, fork, et al at home. I am used to the feel and the structure of it and yes it sounds weird but you are asking me to list random facts. When I was 12 years old I had a sterling silver bowl that I used to eat out of and couldn't find it for months. Where it went is another entirely completely different post. Bottom line, I didn't eat anything bowl-related (chili, cereal, etc), for months as a result.

3. I have a blog crush and no, I'm not telling who and you can send me emails all you want but it's not going down.

4. In College, I saw someone at my school that looked terribly close to someone that I saw on Unsolved Mysteries and called into the TV station to report him.

5. I am in two magazines as a 'so called' model and won't show them to anyone because I think I look absolutely ridiculous in them, and my mother shows them to erry-boddy. She says it's because she's proud of me but I get the sneaking suspicion that she does to show me "Look what you could have done", even though in my heart, if you knew my momma, she doesn't mean anything by showing the pictures. Frankly the pictures are quite embarassing to me. Because of my height I could have easily made it a career, but frankly at that time I was lazy and broke with no money for head shots and I was still in my "LA Law/Law and Order I wanna be an attorney" kick. Not to mention I didn't really care for it.

6. I know how to ride horses very well. I mean, not to the point where you are going to see me in the thirtieth olympiad on NBC riding in any equestrian events but I can get around on them well enough, at least for a black chick in the city.

7. I usually see what others don't see, but in a macabre sense. Some Examples: Bodies of water with no waves doesn't equal peaceful to me - I always get the impression that there are dead bodies in there; When I think of an all white room I don't think sanitary - I think insane asylum. Somewhat attached: I am a conspiracy theorist who has ideas about: Tony Blair (Anti-Christ) the IRS (not legally allowed to take taxes from us) JFK (didn't really die right away, was sent to an island because he was a vegetable and died years later), etc., etc.

8. Although he is physically not my type AT ALL, I don't know WHAT IT IS, but there is something very primal about Dog the Bounty Hunter that makes me want to give him some.

***BONUS 411***
I am truly, turned on (almost disturbingly so) by men who know how to do what I consider "Manly, Man" things: I.E: Changing a tire, driving a stickshift, changing his own oil, fucking around with cables, installing electrical equipment, general man stuff.

I'm tagging:

NE One who Wants to Join in the Fun. . .

Wednesday, July 18, 2007

Tipping the Scales

A few weeks ago, I attended a high school graduation. When it came time for the valedictorian speech, I prepared myself for the yawnfest that I was about to hear.

The Valedictorian started talking about everything that she has done to maintain her 4.7 GPA, blah, blah, blah. . .

**Sidebar** WTH do you need to DO to get a 4.7 GPA I will never understand. An A++++?

Anyway, she mentioned how she would study on the weekends, and study all night, on holidays, during other celebrations, etc., etc. Before my head slammed into the concrete from being lulled to sleep, she transitioned into what she missed out on as a result of this: She said she missed many dances, dates, and good times with friends and family because of her incessant study habits. And for that, she said that her life was out of balance. She indicated, that as a result of that, she missed core activities and just general fun that should be mandated as a teen, and, although school is a serious subject, that she took it too seriously, and now wishes that she had created more of a balance in her life. Subsequently, she turned down an offer for one school (Berkeley) to go to another one (San Francisco), because she knew she would fall into the same pattern if she were to attend Berkeley, and that, SF offered more of a well, BALANCE between academia and just living the collegiate life.

She encouraged the graduating class to create a balance in their lives. She flipped the script on them and said that maybe if they PARTIED too much, perhaps they can provide an adequate balance in their own lives by focusing more on studies, and creating opportunities to make time for both. She wrapped up her speech by wishing and hoping the best for the students, and also commenting that she hoped that what she said to them will have an impact on their lives.

I don't know about them, but it hit me like a ton of bricks.

There are a lot of good attributes about myself. There are traits that I have acknowledged within myself, personally, professionally, emotionally, and financially, that are equally outstanding, as well as deficient. I have decided to make a conscious effort to work on the things that are deficient. I don't profess to ever have strong suits on things that I am weak in (such as math); these are not the issues that I refer to. I am talking about relationship and character building. The things that will transition you from one point of your life to another. You should NEVER measure yourself against other people. Only against who you are and who you would like to be. I don't promise to work on them all at one time, and I will no doubt fall off the wagon a time or two, however, Radio Flyer Beware, I'm going to get back on the wagon, and as such, I have decided to commit to the following things.

1. Work and Life Balance.
I haven't been on vacation in over a year. And it's not because I'm a workaholic. I would rather be on a boat with music and a book. It's generally because I find other things to do in the area, and excuses where I can allocate the funds elsewhere. I KNOW this is not a good thing and I don't profess it to be so. But I am going to firmly commit to going on one very soon.

2. More exercise.
Don't get enough of it. I am a LOT better with it than in previous years. But the issue that generally comes up is the BWH Syndrome (Black Woman Hair); sweat is Kryptonite to our hair. This can be a challenge during your workout regimens, but I can't really use that for an excuse, I have more than enough hair to pull in a ponytail, even though I think I look ridiculous in them, but whatever - it will just have to do. I am looking hungrily to any person that comes up with a way to isolate and contain the sweat from the hair follicles. This person, will in fact become the next Madame CJ Walker in black women's eyes.

3. Being Open.
I used to equate being open with vulnerability. But so what if it is? There is nothing wrong with being open, or human, or authentic about what you feel. Keeping it closed in on the inside doesn't change how you feel. No man or woman is a mind reader - and, they probably want to know what you are thinking anyway. And even if they don't it's not healthy keeping all that stuff in.

4. Time management/Scheduling
. It's not as if I don't know how to do it. I just don't take the time to do it! :) However, planning your day and your week out for both personal and professional fulfillment often times leaves you MORE open for time for other things, instead of running around like an African Banshee trying to do things at the last minute.

Letting go. I believe that's a challenge for many people. I don't harbor resentments against people per se, but I do go on my PH (not player hater - those are my initials) standoffs for people that have tried to throw me under the bus. Anything and everything can happen in the course of one minute (including death), and I don't have the time, energy, or desire to hold onto past things that I can't quite remember what happened ANYWAY, or the offending party has let go of on their own as well. I am not going to be a black woman with issues kind of chick (not that I am), but I'm certainly not going to start any tradition - or create a memory of me being unforgiving. I may, one day, want and need the opportunity to redeem myself - more sooner than later, no doubt.

6. Taking Risks.
My teenage years and early twenties were SO serious - too serious (based on some personal circumstances). I didn't really have the opportunity to take risks the way people could - and should do, at that age. I have just recently made some HUGE decisions that will impact my life for the better, but it was, in fact, a risk. A risk that I was not necessary ready to take, but was, ultimately, the best thing I could have done. Someone else who will remain nameless, has also taken a risk with me and on me, and I cannot thank her enough for that. (More on that later).

So, to the Valedictorian of Mayfair High School, your message did get across. To create a balance. And as for THIS Libra, I am now, tipping the scales.

What about you? How is YOUR life? Need to create a balance? If so, in what? (if you are so willing to share. . .)

Thursday, July 12, 2007

Mama's Baby, Daddy's Maybe

In a recent CNN article, a man in Florida is being chased like a runaway slave in order to pay 305.00 monthly for child support.

Appropo, if in fact he were the child's father. DNA test results, as well as an affidavit from the child's mother requesting that the child support be ceased, means nary a dayum for the people in the State of Florida, home of fresh squeezed OJ (Simpson and the beverage), Jeb Bush, the 'Lectric Chair, and Disneyworld, who insist on carrying out the order of over $10,000 in back child pay.

My friend, who works for Child Support Services in Southern California, indicate that the State (of California, and other states), receive money, dollar for dollar, for ever 'successful' support case where funds are collected (male or female cases). Personally, one of my BFF's has actually been on the Sally Jesse Rafael show, (2001) where, he was in fact, officially christened with the term "You are NOT the father".

Father's rights groups are vigorously advocating for mandatory DNA tests for all children, in or out of wedlock. It has been suggested that this would be a preventative measure financially, particularly for the male species to money that will not doubt be difficult, if not impossible, to recoup. They also believe, that this will prevent many men from going underground with bootleg under the table jobs or having a spotty employment history, in an effort to prevent being chased down from Wanda the Wage Garnisher. It is also effective measures if in fact they do find out WHO the father is, and subsequently, have an opportunity to learn about the family history if they choose, both personally and for health related reasons. And, peace of mind.

Other groups (ACLU in particular) believe that this is a basic violation of civil liberties, and that it violates the basic tenents of the fourth amendment when it comes to unreasonable search and seizure. There is one thing, they believe, to get a court order when it comes down to paternity issues, or to voluntarily pay for one, but when getting involved into a mandatory issue that intrudes upon your person, then certain invisible bonds have become broken, and we have entered Big Brother/Minority report territory.

Then there are those who love their children, and vice versa and would be crushed and devastated if the child they have nurtured and cared for over the years, is, in fact, the result of lil Ray-Ray's mama getting broke off after one too many pink panties with her best friend's cousin.

It happens more often than we care to acknowledge (and admit). I wouldn't be surprised if most families of current have members in their family where dark skin and green eyes are attributed to grandfather's uncle on the mother's side.

Mandatory DNA Tests for EVERY child? Yes, No, or on the fence?