Portate Bien. . .
Sidebar: I did not participate in the weekend company move, because I, too was in the process of moving from one location to the other, the same weekend, so I was given a free pass.
So, when I came back from the move, I attributed the fact that I wasn't able to locate my desk to fatigue from my own move.
Perhaps I didn't look hard enough. Perhaps, in the disarray of the move, some of the desks were not assembled yet. I chalked it up to that.
Until I went into the receptionist area. In the lobby. With all of the phones.
And there were my boxes. And my nameplate.
((INSERT BLANK STARE))
WTF? Click on this link to view the EXACT desk, company, and location (I was on the right hand side).
According to the principles, I was to answer the phone for the receptionist if it went over three rings (the receptionist by the way was a lazy son of a *&$#% who never came to work on time, and totally took her time answering the phones)
I was supposed to do the marketing for the company (I designed the silver sign you see), put out the company newsletter, plan special events, pull data queries and reports, analyze data, AND answer the phone saying "Welcome to Nelson & Associates, your source for PVC Pipes" on the third emma effen ring? AND sit with my back to all the Mr. Charlie's that come in the office. Um, Hell no. Strike One.
Second incident: I am nodding in the breakroom (Not laying out on the couch, feet up like Rick James on a Dave Chappelle Episode), but just sitting down on the couch, with my elbow on the arm of the couch. One of the principles came in here and said "No sleeping in the break room" I was like "On the couch?" He was like "No, in the breakroom".
He might as well told me No Parking on the Dance Floor. Strike Two.
Final Call: I was at my desk, helping the file clerk (who reported to me, who sat in the left chair) do something mundane, and in the process of it all, I was trying to take some adhesive off the back of a magnet. The principle passed by me, saw me picking at something and then called me in his office.
He asked me was I filing my nails.
At that point I could care less. I actually moved around to the side of his desk, and told him "You thought I was filing my nails? You thought I was filing my NAILS? I have worked here three years, never call out sick, always on time, and you are harassing me like I'm on parole. Why would you say something like that to me. AND anyway, I have acrylics, I don't have to file my nails." :P
He turned beet red. Strike Three.
But he wasn't mad as me. We moved in there in April, 2000. By August, I made the big move my own self; with 10K more to boot. I myself was raising the bar. I attributed the fact that their mortgage doubled could have attributed to the stress and/or weird behavior, but I don't have to partake in that.
Have you moved on, or are looking to make that big move? And tell us why!
I have always expressed discomfort with double standards. Not because I am this "I am woman, hear me roar", but because I have always believe that it is damaging to both genders. I think women utilize them even more heavily than some men do, often times selectively choosing the standard that is appropriate for their needs.
I feel bad for some of the brothers! They don't know if what they do is seen as overly aggressive, passive, or anything in between, based upon the variance of attitudes that women have (liberal, moderate, conservative). As for the 'fairer' sex (hehe), sometimes we can't feel out way through, seeing one thing and then hearing another, or vice versa.
I couldn't think of a fancier way to say this, so here are some of the double standards that get on my nerves: Those that are not fair to EITHER ONE OF US. I have a lot of the ones that are unfair to the guys in there, because I think they catch a lot of flack from this as well, but it's indoctrinated in our cultures, effecitively psychologically castrating them. Might not go that far, but using the phrase 'psychologically castrating' makes me appear to be somewhat intellectual. So, without further adieu, like to hear it, hear it goes:
If a woman has custody of her children, then nothing of it. If a man has custody of his children, then something 'really' must have been wrong with the mother, (versus him just being the more appropriate one to rear the child).
If a man takes care of a woman and showers her with gifts, he is taking care of business and keeping his woman happy. If a woman does it, she's stupid and being taken advantage of (as if someone can MAKE you do this).
A woman cheats; its emotional; a man cheats, it's purely sexual.
If a man is agressive in the work force, he has a take charge attitude; if a woman does it, she's overly ambitious and a bitch, to boot.
A man opens the door for you, he is a gentleman. But if he encounters a "I am woman hear me roar" woman, she thinks he is being condescending. So, he doesn't open the door for a woman, and then he's considered unthoughtful. (Poor guy can't win).
A girl wears a "Boys Are Dumb" t-shirt; folks laugh; a man wears "Girls are Dumb", he's sexist and ran out of town.
A man sleeps with a lot of women - well, that's da MAN! A woman does it, she's the freak of the week!
If the woman seeks alimony, well, hell, she should, all that she had to put up with. If a man seeks spousal support, he's a pussy, whoremongering gold-digger.
A man dates a younger woman; he can't handle a 'real woman'; a woman dates a younger man, then she's just exploring her options and meeting a mate compatible with her sexual energy.
Woman tries to get in an all male academy - well, she SHOULD be let in, why not? Man tries to get into an all-female academy, well, he's up to something, just trying to make a point, and THIS SHOULDN'T BE TOLERATED!!
If a man is angry, something must have really made him mad; if a woman is angry, she must be PMS'ing.
If a man keeps a woman 'in check', he's controlling. If a woman keeps a man in check, she's being strong, or keeping him in line (or, she could be married to Doug Christie)
Guys 'get' a girl pregnant. (Like he's a sexual predator or something).
Brokeback Mountain? UGH! Beyonce starring in a lesbo movie w/Eva Longoria? Well, that's another story!
Speaking of sexual predators; if a teacher has an affair with an underage girl and get's her pregnant, he's a sick bastard that deserves to be put under the jail. If a teacher (female) does it to an underage boy, then she's bipolar (with a husband named Vili).
Whether or not I AGREE with any of these is NOT THE POINT HERE!!!! (hehe). I'm just sayin. . .
So, Ladies, and Gentleman, boys and girls. . .
Any double standards you've experienced? Have you thought/used/been a victim of any of the above? Open Forum!
November 7th is my friend Jamal's birthday. It's also the day that New York elected it's first black mayor, David Dinkins. This is also the day of the fiasco that occurred between George Bush, Al Gore, and the Sunny state of Florida, home of fresh squeezed orange juice, Jeb Bush, and shady polling places.
Those are some of the things that happened on November 07. But what happened on November 07, 1991, - well most of us remember when we were when we heard this - just like knowing where we were when the OJ Verdict and the Rodney King Verdicts, when we heard about the Aaliyah, and when we heard about Tupac Being Shot.
It was Ervin "Magic" Johnson, basketball player extraordinary, face of the Lakers, personality to die for (pun intended), one who adored the ladies and won the admiration of men - it was this Magic Johnson that stunned, paralyzed, and sent shock waves that reverberated through out the world as he announced that he was retiring after testing positive for the "HIV" virus.
We were all stunned. Not stunned in the since that we didn't know how he contracted it, but stunned in the since of:
- Oh, so you CAN get this by heterosexual contact, and not just homosexual relations, dirty IV's, and blood transfusions?
- This is a man, a black man, a strong black man, who got it. Just from being a FREAK
- He's going to DIE. He won't make it to see the hall of fame.
And any other combination thereof.
It made the men of this world take stock - of what they had been doing - who they were doing it TO, and when. It made women's minds race, wondering how much that third drink 'really' may have cost them. The sale of prophylactics skyrocketed; everyone was playing it safe and keeping their noses clean.
Ah the good old days. Are we back in the nosebleed section, now?
With a resurgence increase in sexuality, (both teens and adults alike), and the hedonistic attitudes that pervade our culture, I believe that the message has been lost regarding abstinence, safe sex, or any other practice that is deemed appropriate for your respective lifestyle. It is difficult enough to swallow (no pun intended) the fact that many teens don't consider oral sex 'sex'. Now whether they got that message from Bill's spiel on his relationship with Monica Lewinsky is another story; the fact is, it is so. It is equally difficult to know that there are now more people trapped in the closet than an R. Kelly Video.
This is no gender blaming incident - we are all responsible for our behaviors and actions. Nor is this particularly the forum to discuss whether or not people are 'going to do it anyway', even though you are open to discuss anything you wish. The bigger, prevalent issue that I see here, is that so many people get 'caught up' in what they doing, indicating "Well, it only happened once", or "I've been with them for so long", that there is an ongoing game of Russian Roulette playing, and that the bullet has pieced many who have sung that mantra, and more often than, not, it was that time that "It only happened once".
Most of what we see now endorse sexuality. Videos. . .Songs. . .and everything in between. 16 year old Keisha Castle Hughes, the sister in whale rider, is expecting a baby with her boyfriend of three years. We can go on and on with that but I don't want to overlap messages.
I want to turn it over to you. . .
Do you think that both adults and children have returned to the days of old, being careless and reckless in their sexual escapades?
Sam and Mollie - Ghost
This couple impacted me in many ways. It had only been a while since I had lost one of my very best friends in an auto accident, and the whole theme around this movie fascinated me. But the feelings associated with someone that you have a strong connection to, such as these two, are REAL - whether the person has left the earth or not - this is something I also understood. A tearjerker, and a couple who love had no limits. Not even death. :)
Claudine and "Ru" - Claudine
Any-buddy who has seen this movie knows that this is a 'Man's Man' and Claudine is a 'Ride of Die' chick, even before that term came out. This love was sustained through poverty, the gub-ment trying to keep them down, children, and other influences. In 1972, it was hard enough, surely, for a black couple trying to sustain, but they did it, and made it, as Alicia Keys said, through the technical difficulties. One of my all time favorite couples, bar none.
Forrest and Jenny - Forrest Gump
Love is simple. It really is. People make it complicated. We really do. But Forrest didn't. Forrest's love for Jenny was so pure, it was almost painful to watch. He loved her through and through, regardless of her actions and activities (which, eventually cost her her life), and, that, is what made her come back to him (and probably because she had nowhere else to go!) But anyway, I believe that her authenticity in loving him was true, too, and was one of the reasons why she was running for so long.
Jason and Lyric - Jason's Lyric
Ride or Die at it's finest. You could feel the love throughout this movie. And when she was shot at the end, I felt like I held my breath through the entire scene. The love that these two shared was deep, true, sensual, and real. It made both of them grow and trust, and breakaway. And that's why it should do.
Flo and James - Good Times
Sure, sometimes James yelled too much, and sometimes Flo was a little over the top with her emotional antics, but the fit together. Both of them adored each other and their kids, and until CBS television studios decided to act as if a buffonnish character was more important than a father figure, this relationship worked out quite nicely.
Being the latch key teenage child that I was, I was totally into Soap Operas back in the day and back in the day, Supercouples were what was hot on the streets.
Luke and Laura: I never watched GH, but I knew for dayum sure who they were. I was kind of creeped out when I found out he raped her, and then they ended up together, but I had to include them on GP because one, there was a song that was made after them, and two, EVERYBODY knows who Luke and Laura are.
Cruz and Eden: My personal favorites. I was a HUGE Santa Barbara fan back in my ABC Afterschool Special Tween years, and the relationship between these two (Played by Marcy Walker and A Martinez) was indeed special. There is a Santa Barbara web site dedicated to fans of the show, and the Cruz and Eden characters readily admit, that, although they never dated, they believed that they were real life soulmates, and that's how come their chemistry was so well on the scene.
Victor and Nikki: The song "I'm in love with a Stripper" would fit in quite nicely here. I havent' watched soaps in over a decade, but I know these mofos are still smelling up on each other - even after divorces, affairs, children, and anything else in between that fills in the soap opera drama gap. When I'm in the grocery store, and I see the magazines at the front counter they are still plastered on the front. . Hell, Victor and Nikki are like Luke and Laura for the CBS soap watchers.
So, who are your "Unbreakable Couples?" Are any of yours on THIS list?
Any concurrence? What are YOUR random thoughts?
And so on and so on.
I say all this to say, that violence pervades our culture. And for those that say education is the key, I beg to differ. Sure, life is a choice. And there are those that grew up less fortunate that have paved a way for theirselves, as well as those that grew up silver spooned and turned out to be hot messes. However, we are a more educated culture then we ever have been, yet the things that invade our homes via the evening news and/or cnn.com that cause all of us shock and dismay have accelerated over the past few decades. That sounds like a moral fabric issue more than an educated issue, but that's another subject.
My intent is not to switch reels, so I won't. My concern, however, are what is happening to our men, our co leaders in this world, in a place where changing a tire can cost them their life. We add layers to it when there are socio economic factors involved. Where a choice that one makes is predicated on finances and emotional conditions. Trust me when I tell you that I am one for personal responsbility, but I often know that the role of a parent is one of encouragement, and if you can't get over that first hurdle, sometimes, the tangled web that you weave, cannot be unraveled.
I heart for our black men. I heart for all of our boys. I want them to succeed. I want them to lead. I want them to love, and I want them to live.
What do You See In The Future of Our Young Black Men?
This is dedicated to all of our menfolk: The strong, the powerful, the invincible, the loving, the babymakers, the comforters, the keepers, the spirtual guiders, the ones that make us laugh (and cry), the ones that throw down, the ones that say 'baby' and make us melt, AND to the ones that we have loved and lost - to the streets, and to the grave.
In this Post Imitation of Life phase of our culture, what do we expect when it comes to beauty. Certainly, during the early part of the 20th century, passing became a phenomenon that was partially survival, partial choice. Carol Channing has recently admitted her paternal black parentage. . . It is even rumored that Dinah Shore has black parentage, that which she never confirmed NOR denied. (If you haven't seen the A & E biography on her, treat yourself).
You're on the phone with someone. Often times someone dependable and reliable. Or has been in your recent past. And they want to let you 'in' on something. Something that 'the man' doesn't want you to know about. And you start to listen, with equal hope and dread. The hope that somehow, someway, this is NOT leading down the road you expect it to. And the dread that in your gut, you know that 'tis. So you just wait for the closer, the climax, the piece de resistance, the entrance of the 'big deal'.
"I want you to come to a meeting with me"
"What kind of meeting?"
"I mean, it's hard to explain, you just have to be there. Plus the VP is going to make a special appearance".
"But WHAT is it? Where is it?"
"At the Marriott in Long Beach. I'll come pick you up"
"What kind of meeting is it?"
"It's a business opportunity. You do want to make money, don't you? I thought about you when I went to the meeting, I said, 'Who would be SMART enough to take advantage of something like this?"
Somewhere in the middle of that, the person that is conversing (read: holding you hostage), is tugging at your heartstring/ego, but so far, no DICE.
- "You're a smart woman, P, I thought you would want to know about this"
- "When you have kids/get married, don't you want the flexibility to do things?"
The script is the same, but the cast of characters change.
Sound familiar? Maybe you didn't go to that meeting, but the variation of the meeting/selling point lurks in your mind. I know it does. There is always some bankruptcy, sob story of a guy that wanted to get out of the grind and show his son how to ride bikes, OR some chick who tugs on the heartstings of the mother's in the audience, OR a guy who tells you how much property/money/cash flow he has every month and that he is really busy but that he HAD to stop in and talk to US, but he has to be on his way, now. He fails to mention that they want to get you started on some 'starter kit' for the low, low price of 299.00, and of course, that's really a steal if in fact the 'kit' will pay you back in no time, and you're become a member of the gold, platinum, titanium, etc. VP club and by the way can we take a postdated check from you?
As previously stated, Even though you are NOW immune to the meetings that can either be overly spectacular or creepily clandestine, at some point in your life, some trickery occured where you either (a) showed up at one of the meetings, only to realize that it was THAT kind of meeting, or (b) you were tortured by your neighbor, hairdresser, co-worker, friend (that you haven't heard from in three months) to sell or be interesting in buying:
- Long Distance
- Herbalife, Noni Juice, et al.
- World's Greatest Vitamin
- Internet Mall
- To a DEGREE: Cookie Lee, Primerica, Mary Kay.
Sidebar: Every woman in the US of A has either bought a Mary Kay product at some time in her life, went to a Mary Kay makeup party, or was stalked over the phone by a Mary Kay consultant.
Anyway, back to the lecture at hand. The biggest problem with Network Marketing is not the marketing concept per se. But those same things that make it attractive are the very things that those who have never managed any level of business, big, or small, are not prepared to invest their time in. Usually, for the most part, there are exceptions to the rule; however, exceptions PROVE the rule.
According to Scott Allen, author of "The Real Problem With Network Marketing"
Most of these folks (Can be one or more of the below)
Again, there are exceptions to the rule; but the exceptions PROVE THE RULE.
So friends and family, please don't call my cell phone number so that I can review some antiquated flyer of yours, or you can email me a link to your internet mall to get toilet paper that I can buy at target, or tell me about the weight loss shake that worked for you (not to mention you are now working out three days a week). I'll pass.
And no, I don't want to buy the World's Greatest Vitamin.
What has been your experience(s) with folks interested in Network Marketing and/or the first (and probably only) time you were duped into a meeting?
OR any combination thereof.
I've seen all of these. And my family is one of them.
Before We delve into our topic, I must say this however; A family is NOT just the bloodline. Ever. There are those who touch your life and are in your life that have moved and touched your lives more than any bloodline ever could or would. Particularly if you come from a fragmented family; these are your family and you should treat them as such. Also, there is an element of dysfunction in all families. No family is perfect; that's not the directive of this piece.
With that said, we will turn it over to the readers:
Do you think there is a such thing as "Too Close" OR "Not Close Enough". Is your family "Love Filled" or "Drama Filled?" Any friends with families like the aforementioned?