I don't like the little dance steps that bridesmaids/groomsmen do coming down the aisle. Just walk, dammit. It's distracting.
I don't approve of tiny children (circa 2-3) being flower children/ring bearers. The poor little chaps have prolly been up all day and virtually all night getting all fru-frood up for the wedding, then having to endure the coos, oohs, and aahs, of the guests as they sashay down the plank that must be a mile long to them. Dog gone near amounts to quasi-torture for the littles.
The only thing that should be large in a wedding is the dowry. Not the wedding party. I could do without the junior bridesmaides, the double ring bearers, maid of honors, etc.
Wedding planners who look more flustered than the wedding party. Aren't you supposed to be the voice of reason, the sound of calm, and the leveler. I would prefer that you not walk around in your house shoes looking ragged.
The "I didn't plan my speech very well and now I am liquored up and so I've talked too much" bridesmaid. Get to the point.
The bouquet/garter ceremony: I never participate in this. You have here a bevy of beauties that are languishing in front of the bride, jockeying for position so that you can claim the title of "I Got Next", yet when the garter ceremony comes along, the floor is scattered wider than a pack of marbles, the men few and far between.
That dayum "new" electric slide. I can't stand it. The one that has the 'cha cha' in it. It drives me absolutely nuts. And you have to focus too hard on what you're doing and the words, Give me the old one, to the tune of "Candy' - a la "The Best Man" which is more fluid and thought-less, and that's good enough for me.
Why is everyone so intent upon watching the family mourn? Everyone wants to see how "his momma, sister, wife, daughter" is going to 'take it'. (I must say, I have participated in this macabre scenario).
Family members arguing about who gets to ride in the family car, what the deceased is going to wear, who is reading the obituary, and who put in on the flowers - and who didn't.
Something about that "Sunrise/Sunset"on the obituary drives me nuts. It's not cute to me. I don't know where it originated but it's annoying.
It bothers me when people say that the deceased is doing what they normally do in the afterlife. "I bet Tim is playing the great football game with Moses", or "You know Mama Jeanne must be cooking up her famous spaghetti for everybody to enjoy". Um, probably NOT.
Little screaming children running around like banshees during the service, and the parent sitting there like the child doesn't even BELONG to them (add that to the weddings as well).
Why does everybody hug, kiss, talk, etc., and say "It shouldn't take a funeral for us to get together/see each other. Let's keep in touch". THEN. . . you don't see hide nor hare of the mofo until the NEXT funeral.
The prodigal son/daughter, who clings/wails/falls out-or any combination thereof, when they view the body, knowing good and well they raised more hell than heaven to the parent when they were alive.
Those are my pet peeves. . . (Thanks, Nicole, for help with the post)