Thank you for representing!
Coretta Scott King (1927-2006)
Dr. Martin Luther King (1929-1968)
See Link for More Pictures of the Life and Legacy:
With that said, here are a list of do's and dont's when dealing with your local HR.
Email or call them and let them know what the issue is. Provide them with at least a contact number, your employee number and/or your social. We are obligated to research and validate and reconstruct any issue that may be going on with you and respond as soon as administratively possible. And we DO care. Telling us call "ASAP" means nothing. Or calling saying "Did you get my email?." Who the hell is this?
Provide them with a summation of what you want, and do not include in the subject line "Help", or "Urgent!". That is no value to you or I, and could possibly add a delay on to the response time, because closed mouths don't get fed, and what will get answered first is the one with the most empirical data attached.
Allow for a reasonable response time to respond to your inquiry. Pay, health and medical will always be addressed first, followed by any other incidentals. You not getting along with your manager is a personality conflict and should be resolved by meeting with your manager first. Telling us something at 10:51 and then emailing us 15 minutes later with "Any Word?" just won't cut it.
Do call us after your issue has been resolved/check received/benefits reinstated. You'll call us if you want something, but when it's resolved, we don't hear a thing. It's like my loaning money post.
Know that we can smell a fraudulent disability and/or workers compensation claim a mile away. If you are having attendance and performance issues and then all of a sudden you have a doctor's note putting you out on stress, believe me they will be investigated by an outside investigator before a claim will be approved/paid, so don't play. There are LEGITIMATE claims, and they should be treated as such. We're not interested in being names as a party in any class action lawsuits because we didn't do what we were supposed to do.
Do three different things for one issue: Send an email, follow up with a voice mail, and then come and hover over Human Resources desk. Do one, or the other, but hovering is not going to do anything. Anytime an employee has an issue, we can't say yes or no to anything without research and validation. I am not saying this doesn't suck, if something is wrong with your money, BUT, if you are telling me the overtime is not on your check, I'm not just going to say, okay, sure I'll give you ten hours, no questions asked. I have to.
1. Open up the payroll system.
2. Look up the week in question.
3. Contact your immediate supervisor to validate the overtime.
BECAUSE it could very well be that it is not supposed to show up on this employees payroll check.
4. Send a message to payroll
5. Get a response from payroll.
6. Get back to you.
That does not require you standing over me. Yes, I know it's about the $$ and if I was missing money that's how I would feel. But we are only the liasion. We are not writing the checks, and are not trying to Jew you out of your money; in fact, we want you go get paid properly so we can act proactively to keep clients in place, not reactively, putting out fires.
DO NOT, under any circumstances, think that cc'ing your supervisor and mines is going to get the issue resolved sooner. The record of your transaction with HR is your email and is what you should use to escalate. Cc'ing everyone except the Living God is only going to piss off your contact. And you are only clogging the immediate supervisor's email and then you have everyone else in the loop sending us emails. How long do you then think it is going to take to resolve your questions, eh?
If we don't have any more discounts to 24 Hour Fitness, we don't have anymore. Period. They have been down here for a month and now you want some of them. They are gone and I've got bigger fish to fry, okay.
Lack of planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on my part. If you had 30 days to enroll in your benefits and call from the emergency room on day 31 asking for an appeal for your benefits, I don't know what to tell you. If I asked you to change your address in the system a month ago, and your check went to the wrong address, and now you don't have your stub and/or payroll check, then a stop payment takes 24 hours to process. I don't make the rules.
Refrain from calling us because your panties and/or draws are in a bunch because you found out that so and so makes more money than you. You signed the dotted line on YOUR offer letter for $$$.$$, and they did for another dollar amount. You know what kind of precedent that would take if we gave in to whims and demands everytime somebody is not happy with their pay? It would be a mutiny up in this beeach. Hell I see folks payroll checks all the time and they make GRAND THEFT DOUGH, money I think (partially because of ego and partially because of fact) that I should be getting it too, but that's not what I signed on the dotted line for.
DO NOT threaten us with the union. Honey, the union does not supercede the laws of this company and/or state guidelines. The union is a contract with a list of benefits with a start and end date, as well as policies and procedures we must follow if in fact, they are NOT followed, either by management or employee. And funny how employees want to look in the union book for what they should get if it is a good thing, but when it comes to disciplinary procedures, no one wants to know anything. And I am NOT scuured of your steward I am six three in heels, shoo.
Little penny anne arguments with your co-workers, handle that on the schoolyard playground.
I know about disability, unemployment, workers compensation and final checks. You don't have to let me know "Per the contract, Per State law" Boo, the last place I want to be is in the labor commissioners office with some complaint that has been filed. You do your job and I will do mines. If you want to get into "Per state Law and Per the HR web site", then apply for a position in this department. Do I tell you how to work in Finance/Marketing/Customer Care, etc?
Don't shoot the messenger. Usually by the time we get the information, it's mandated by headquarters. Yes, the bonuses are lower this year; yes, there are layoffs, yes there are budget cuts. Sometimes the news is not so good. If you want some good news, go save some money on car insurance.
Update: If you treat your co-workers (which again, is what we are) with respect, we will do anything for you. (Well, almost anything, I might even smile, and Tam will tell you how hard that is to get done). If you try to throw me under the bus (see LaaLaa's comments regarding pissing us off), well, hell hath no fury. . .
Had to be said, enough said. Aah, feels good to get it off of my chest. As you know, my chest holds alot.
In the wireless-data communications world that I currently work in, bluetooth is a necessity. Not only for your professional communicaes (if in fact that is a word), but in your personal life. Wireless accessories are a must have in your personal and professional life, one of them being a bluetooth.
In my ever searching quest to find an employment opportunity that will allow me the lifestyle I can only enjoy now through my Wishlist on Google, I take off days here and there for job interviews that I believe are serious contenders for future employers.
So, one day I was awaiting a phone call from one of the employers. When the call came in and I answered, I realized I couldn't hear them very well. Initially, I believed that the bluetooth was the issue; I soon learned I had turned my volume down. In any case, I changed to handset mode, and snatched the bluetooth out of my ear.
Note to bluetooth users: If you switch to headset mode, that is only for one call. Needless to say, my phone rang again, and when I answered, I couldn't hear the person because the bluetooth had switched back on. So I was reaching around all in the truck while driving, blindly searching for the bluetooth accessory, to no avail. I turned the radio down because I could HEAR the person talking through bluetooth (hello. . .Helloooo!), but I couldn't get to it because I didn't know where it was. I pulled over, finally switched to headset and told them to keep talking, that I was going to put them back on bluetooth mode so that I could find the accessory for the ear.
I looked everywhere. In the ashtray, under the seat, under the matts, in the passenger seat, in my pockets, all the while hearing "Hello, Hellooo!". I had some bags in the car from some Target shopping, so I figured they may be in there. I didn't have time to keep looking. Considering I work for a wireless provider, I would have been able to get another one at a considerable discount.
Later on, I went to church to fold some bulletins. I usually talk on the phone when I do this (that night was no different), however, I was having some "my neck and my back" issues because of trying to cradle the phone and fold chuurch stuff at the same time. So, I hung up the phone.
There in lies the problem. Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego when you need her?
I was looking down ends of my hair, draped casually in front of me, and lo and behold what's nestled between the twins.
It was a surreal moment. In slow motion, without sound, I said "there's my bluetooth". Ladies and Gentleman at that time we were approaching the sixth hour that the bluetooth had been nestled within the comfort of my bosom.
Also, Iknowwhatyathinkin: Well, the answer is, I's got some cleavage, plus the bluetooth dropped down vertically, so, like I said, it just kind of laid nestled within the comforts of my breasts-ses-sses. I betcha you're thinking I still should have know, but you haven't seen the Ying Yang twins.
I did check to see if it still worked, though. It did.
Don't you love happy endings?
Live from LA, this is P reporting to you from KPAT FM, the Pattyopolis Network.
At first I was shocked; it was almost surreal. They couldn't see me because the way the bed was positioned, their heads were behind the door. So I could see from the neck down. I started whispering all on the phone, like the girl on the phone knew I was looking or something. Hell, I told her I had to call her back, because at that point I wasn't paying attention to the phone conversation anyway.
Lemme qualify my statements. I luvs being a woman. Man, I feel like a woman! All that good stuff.
BUT, if I were a brotha, I think I might have a good chance a peeping some game on a few chicks. I would be decent looking, I suppose (although I don't think my face would look good on a guy). I would be average height for a guy (six feet), versus tall for a woman (which I do not mind at all, Tam or Stalka Brian will tell you that).
I know one thing. I would prolly not have a skinny chick (no offense to anyone reading) but please don't read that wrong. I would not be interested in any buffalo gals, either. But if you had to choose, somebody with a FEW (read FEW) little extra lb's are fine, but again, not something that requires a bulldozer or a few hefty heave ho's to move. As my mother says, you can lose fat but 'cha can't lose ugly.
I was kinda thinkin, If I were a brotha, what kind of womens would I dig?
Like to hear it, here it goes.
Queen L: She looks significantly better and more symmetrically proportioned after her breast redux. She's the kind of chick, like, if I were a dude, she would be like the cool homie that you grew up with, that can hang with the fellas and what not, but then later, you would start looking at her, like, dang, she kind of cute, too. Problem is, would Queen like me as a brotha, or as a sista (TEE HEE)
Angelle Brooks: She's more of a character actor. I like her because short or long hair, she's a cute girl.
Lisa Nicole Carson - She is cute in a crazy looking kind of way. I prolly wouldn't want a serious relationship. Only BC's, cuz she looks kind of well . . . speaking of, if you look at her profile she is nowhere to be found past 1999. Rumor has it she is bipolar and is reportedly institutionalized and under the care of her mother. So, yep, for the most part if I was a brother, it would be strickly for the BC.
Sukanya Krishnan - Suki plays on HomeDelivery . I think she's purty and classy. I wouldn't like skanks. Tam what do you think of her? I'm asking for a very specific reason. She looks like a bidnesswoman.
Pam Grier - Because she's Pam Grier. PAM GRIER IS NOT A HOOCHIE!
Victoria Rowell - I like her because she has a mix of girl next door-smoldering beauty, clean cut and wholesome but not homely looking. And, in my former life, I used to look at Y & R, and Diagnosis Murder (so what??)
Vanessa Bell Calloway - I think she's purty, as well as exceptionally talented. Plus, she's yo "Queen to beeee".
Laila Ali - She seems like she would be cool, behave around your friend and family, and be a homebody. Don't want no hooka in the streets.
Roshumba - Some of the greatest, defined features ever. A little too skinny for mae, but I'd deal with it.
Angela Bassett - No doubt could hold the entire room at attention with her regality and words, son. A take home to the parents fo real. Yale, edumacated, too?! Her and her husband, actor are expecting their first children, twins, sometime this year.
Vanessa Williams - This is why I chose her. Even without the eyes, hair and complexion (which by the way is NOT a qualifier for cuteness, some people are foolish enough to think that) she is still very nice looking.
AJ Johnson - Yep, the girl from house party. Doesn't take much to figure that she is a personal trainer. She really does have some healthy tips and regimes on her web site.
Womens that I would not be bothered with:
Beyonce - Yes, I know. But I wouldn't be interested. Too much going on. Yeah, I knowwhatchathinkin, but even if I did have a lot of money, I would want more of the darker haired bevy of beauties above. Plus, sometimes I cannot emotionally deal with the hair issues that occur with her intermittedly. I don't like a lot of brouhaha associated with hair and stuff.
Halle - Hell to the naw. Too emotionally high maintenance fragile. Thanks but no thanks. I'll pass.
This beeach right here is crazy and I would not touch her with a ten foot pole!
JLO - Everbody she gets with (sans Puffy, who made her) career tanks. No thanks. Not my 'type' HEHE - Anyway, I generally takes my coffee black.
Kimora Lee - Thanks, Chuck, but I'll remain on my own.
In case y'all have one eyebrow raised and are identifying me as suspect, I've already laid out the Men I Love in a previous blog, when I was virgin on blogging.
I got some good taste, huh?
You see I am nowhere in the equation, she quit asking me things long ago. And she's always got a new crocodile tear story. She claims that she shouldn't be allowed to have a car and job at the same time because that triggers her drug binges (S has no clue with personal responsibility how the heasy do you choose between a car and a job - deal with the issue!) I don't mean to keep getting off track, but as for her being gone for short periods of time, that is a distant memory.
No one in this family has seen hide nor hare of my sister in over three years.
I knowwhatchathinkin - No, she is not dead. We haven't SEEN her, but she does call periodically. (We don't talk at all, I can only pray for her)
This is a woman that has four children (21, 15, 12, and 8). The last three live with their father, and the oldest lives with mines. Every holiday, I have to stand guard by the 15 year old, because she gets really sensitive around the holidays because of course, her mother is conspicuously absent.
I'm going to try to wrap this up, but my sister has begged, borrowed, and stolen from just about every family member of memory. She is currently living in Las Vegas (we know this because of the periodic 702 area code hang ups we get, as well as the "Hi kids" letters she sends to her children indicate), working at Walgreen's. This is a woman that has held jobs with the city, county, and government. She types 85 words a minute.
Walgreen's must be her day job, though, because her phone voice mail sounds like her name is Peaches and she's offering more than three for a dollar tic tacs at the corner.
Question of the day? You or someone you know has a resident family addict? What kind of beg borrow and steal drama have they put folks through? Disappearing acts, even?
And if you don't then you are in good company and where do you live so I can move there.
Phyllis Hyman (1949-1995) - Love the girl. One of my favorite singers. At the time I was in college and was working in a record store. When someone told me that she had passed, the first thing that I had thought about was a heart attack. (Anyone who knows/loves Phyllis would know that she had been looking well fed at that point). But when I heard that she had taken her own life, I was hurt. I didn't know her, but that was the feeling that I had was, hurt. . .What could have been so bad where she did not want to LIVE anymore?
Phyllis was a natural talent and beauty, in an era where her style, beauty, and musical genre were a place where, she couldn't actually be placed. (Similar to Dorothy Dandridge, Butterfly McQueen, Althea Gibson, Nat King Cole). It is also rumoured that she was constantly unlucky in love. She took her life not too long before she had to appear on stage with the Whispers. I still love and miss her music.
Donny Hathaway (1945-1975) - A rich, sumptious singer with an unforgettable voice, I was just knee high to a duck when he passed. He launched himself from a high rise window. The glass had been carefully removed from the window and there were no apparent signs of struggle. I remember seeing a picture of the window in the Ebony magazine. (back when the Ebony was HUGE). I was puzzled, and confused. I didn't quite know what suicide was and meant, but I did know that he was dead, but I didn't comprehend the manner in which it was prescribed.
Equally underappreciated (a la Phyllis), but beloved, Donny Hathaway sings one of the most, if not the most memorable Christmas song there is (This Christmas). His daughter, Lalah Hathaway, is equally as talented as he.
For more information, you may visit the Donny Hathaway Page.
Kurt Cobain (1967-1994)- Yah, I dunno. In my humble opinion, I think it was a CON - spiracy. I know he had a substance abuse problem, but somethin's rotten in the state of Denmark. . .
Additional info on Kurt can be found at
Dorothy Dandridge (1923-1965) - This is questionable as well. Although she had only $2.14 in her bank account when she died; there is evidence that her career was on the rebound; however, she had lost everything, and the only child that she did have, Harolyn Nicolas from Harold Nicholas from the Nicholas brothers, was severely disabled, and after her money ran out, she had to make her a ward of the state. It's questionsable that she died accidentally; however, many believe it to be a suicide, even though the official coroner's report did not make a final determination.
When I was a sophomore in high school, a guy at our school went into the men's room and hung himself with a belt. It was right after lunch and those in the first lunch had just seen him strolling around. Counselors were brought on site to counsel the students that were affected. Maybe then I would say that I wasn't, but in hindsight, I now know it to have been shock, because I blanked it out of my mind from then until the incidents that surrounded the most recent suicide of James Dungy.
More info on Dorothy can be seen at Dorothy Dandridge - A Life Unfulfilled
What I do know about suicide is:
- Most men use a more agressive (read: violent) means of ending their lives (shotgun blast, jumping from a building.
- Most women use a more clandenstine approach (pills, carbon monoxide).
What I DON'T know, and this is probably the consensus of all, is Why? What are your thoughts on this? Have you or someone you know had to experience something like this?
When it comes time to pay back, you are unable catch up to these negroes even if you were Flo Jo incarnate. Funny how they can call you at work, home, cell, etc, but when it comes to the repayment, folks drop off the face of the earth. Cuz, I don't know about y'all, but as for me, the 'borrowed' money is the first ends I think about when I have a need or want.
Some folks who borrow money have the nerve to have lightweight attitudes when it's time to give it back. And I hate that "You got it, why not" mentality, that does not have Nathan to do with it.
Literally, a loan is a loan. Figuratively, I see is as money put out into the universe, because even though the righteous thing is to get it back, more oft than not, the case is that you don't.