For loan oft loses both itself and friend,
And borrowing dulls the edge of husbandry.
This above all: to thine ownself be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.
Farewell: my blessing season this in thee!
Before I get into my spiel, let me qualify my statements (be quiet, Tam).
I, personally have been through my financial fiascos, my own private Idaho. I always tell my family members, for a single woman with no kids, (but with nieces and nephews who think I AM their momma), I have more drama! So, with that said, I understand when people get into, as JJ on Good Times would say "Sitiations". Provided you do not have a good volume of liquid assets, it only takes one thing to occur to snowball people into a financial crises. If you haven't been there, then I would think you are, at the very least, cognizant of someone who has experienced this.
One of my best male friends (and believe me he is only a friend - I will address Male/Female relationships at a later date) asked me to borrow some money, fiddy to be exact. I had it but didn't have it ifyouknowwhatImean. If you have no idea what I mean, fifty dollars is not twenty, and you do notice when it is gone. There is a difference between your cell phone bill being twenty dollars over the limit, versus fifty. Now, I don't put myself in a financial bind to give somebody something, but yet in still $50 is no small potatoes, it might be to the ballers that blog this site but not for me.
So I gave it to him. According to him, (whathadhappenedwuz) he was laid off for about a month, and then went into, as he put it, the "real estate mortgage thang", so he just needed some gas money to tide him over for few weeks until his first pay check came. He comes over my house to get the money (transportation and/or gas is never a problem for borrowers, have you noticed that?) Hands me his adorable shortie (six year old girl whom I love and adore) for some cooing and kissing. He thanks me profusely, gets back in his Yukon, and is on his Merry Way.
First paycheck comes, don't hear from the brother. Okay, no biggie. I would expect that. Has to catch up I assume. But you know what happens when you assume. With that said, I assume the brother gets paid bi-weekly, but I don't hear from him in those next couple of weeks, either.
Tick tock, Tick, tock.
I know he didn't think it was a gift. Speaking from experience, I am full on aware that when you get a loan from someone, you know you owe them money, how much, and when you said the money would be returned.
This is not the first time this has happened to me. A single friend of mines with two children asked me to borrow $50 (is that the standard), and she did call a month later and tell me she had the money, but I was working and was in school and couldn't get over there. That was a year ago and I haven't heard anything about it since. I could go on and on but would rather hear it from you.
I am a generous person, sometimes to a fault (but I ain't no sucka). If afforded the opportunity, I would like to be philanthropist. I wouldn't identify myself as a bleeding heart per se, but generally I can identify real needs, versus people constantly getting yourself into various binds, whether it be finacial irresponsibility, messing around with the wrong folks, or just being pure dee lazy and not wanting to get it together. So, all in all, I don't mind loaning the money, what I do mind, and have noticed, is:
Why, when mofos want to borrow $$$, they call and call until they get ahold of you, and when they do get ahold of you, they make their way over to your house, taxi, BART, MARTA, blue line, red line, pony express, piggyback, doesn't matter.
When it comes time to pay back, you are unable catch up to these negroes even if you were Flo Jo incarnate. Funny how they can call you at work, home, cell, etc, but when it comes to the repayment, folks drop off the face of the earth. Cuz, I don't know about y'all, but as for me, the 'borrowed' money is the first ends I think about when I have a need or want.
Some folks who borrow money have the nerve to have lightweight attitudes when it's time to give it back. And I hate that "You got it, why not" mentality, that does not have Nathan to do with it.
Literally, a loan is a loan. Figuratively, I see is as money put out into the universe, because even though the righteous thing is to get it back, more oft than not, the case is that you don't.