Tuesday, January 03, 2006

Loaning Money

Loaning Money. . .

Neither a borrower nor a lender be;
For loan oft loses both itself and friend,
And borrowing dulls the edge of husbandry.
This above all: to thine ownself be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.
Farewell: my blessing season this in thee!
- Shakespeare's "Hamlet"

Before I get into my spiel, let me qualify my statements (be quiet, Tam).

I, personally have been through my financial fiascos, my own private Idaho. I always tell my family members, for a single woman with no kids, (but with nieces and nephews who think I AM their momma), I have more drama! So, with that said, I understand when people get into, as JJ on Good Times would say "Sitiations". Provided you do not have a good volume of liquid assets, it only takes one thing to occur to snowball people into a financial crises. If you haven't been there, then I would think you are, at the very least, cognizant of someone who has experienced this.

One of my best male friends (and believe me he is only a friend - I will address Male/Female relationships at a later date) asked me to borrow some money, fiddy to be exact. I had it but didn't have it ifyouknowwhatImean. If you have no idea what I mean, fifty dollars is not twenty, and you do notice when it is gone. There is a difference between your cell phone bill being twenty dollars over the limit, versus fifty. Now, I don't put myself in a financial bind to give somebody something, but yet in still $50 is no small potatoes, it might be to the ballers that blog this site but not for me.

So I gave it to him. According to him, (whathadhappenedwuz) he was laid off for about a month, and then went into, as he put it, the "real estate mortgage thang", so he just needed some gas money to tide him over for few weeks until his first pay check came. He comes over my house to get the money (transportation and/or gas is never a problem for borrowers, have you noticed that?) Hands me his adorable shortie (six year old girl whom I love and adore) for some cooing and kissing. He thanks me profusely, gets back in his Yukon, and is on his Merry Way.

First paycheck comes, don't hear from the brother. Okay, no biggie. I would expect that. Has to catch up I assume. But you know what happens when you assume. With that said, I assume the brother gets paid bi-weekly, but I don't hear from him in those next couple of weeks, either.

Tick tock, Tick, tock.

Ladies and gentleman, the time is now
four months later and a new year and I
have yet to get that fiddy back.

I know he didn't think it was a gift. Speaking from experience, I am full on aware that when you get a loan from someone, you know you owe them money, how much, and when you said the money would be returned.

This is not the first time this has happened to me. A single friend of mines with two children asked me to borrow $50 (is that the standard), and she did call a month later and tell me she had the money, but I was working and was in school and couldn't get over there. That was a year ago and I haven't heard anything about it since. I could go on and on but would rather hear it from you.

I am a generous person, sometimes to a fault (but I ain't no sucka). If afforded the opportunity, I would like to be philanthropist. I wouldn't identify myself as a bleeding heart per se, but generally I can identify real needs, versus people constantly getting yourself into various binds, whether it be finacial irresponsibility, messing around with the wrong folks, or just being pure dee lazy and not wanting to get it together. So, all in all, I don't mind loaning the money, what I do mind, and have noticed, is:

Why, when mofos want to borrow $$$, they call and call until they get ahold of you, and when they do get ahold of you, they make their way over to your house, taxi, BART, MARTA, blue line, red line, pony express, piggyback, doesn't matter.


When it comes time to pay back, you are unable catch up to these negroes even if you were Flo Jo incarnate. Funny how they can call you at work, home, cell, etc, but when it comes to the repayment, folks drop off the face of the earth. Cuz, I don't know about y'all, but as for me, the 'borrowed' money is the first ends I think about when I have a need or want.

Some folks who borrow money have the nerve to have lightweight attitudes when it's time to give it back. And I hate that "You got it, why not" mentality, that does not have Nathan to do with it.

Literally, a loan is a loan. Figuratively, I see is as money put out into the universe, because even though the righteous thing is to get it back, more oft than not, the case is that you don't.


African girl, American world said...

I don't ask for money from nobody -for real I will ramean or go to the dreaded check cashing place and in return I don't want no one asking for money from me.

my cousin had a friend do the same - this was a large sum like a grand for rent...she's a single mother blah blah. well my cuz even gave her till the end of the year to pay and silence.

Hellous nous....I have decided that if ever I loan money out I will do it with a contract - yes you's family and yes we cool but sign the dotted line!

Now with that said...Pat you got fiddy I can hold :)

The Sarccastik Variable Why said...

like you said...it's never a problem to pick up the money...it's always giving back....everytime someone ask me for money..."I'm busted and disgusted"....(meaning..i got it...i'll be damned if i get it to you)....you got to lower you standard...if they ask for fiddy...all i can give is a twinspot....twinspot is still a lot...but it's not a fiddy...believe me..if he needs the money he'll get it...

Lāā said...

I used to loan money out, but now I only do to my sister.

I figure it this way...if I loan you money and you don't pay it back and you avoid me then you weren't a good friend anyway. I just paid to have you out of my life.

That Girl Tam said...

The last time I loaned a mutha fucka some money was back in 1995. I was dating this guy (a real hottie who had amazing oral skills - he was a great KISSER!! - yall nasty that's NOT what I was talkin about) Anyway...he had a classic 1966 Mustang and had wrecked it. At the time he worked for PageNet (so it wasn't like the brotha didn't have a job) and although I too had a job - back then I wasn't makin shit. When "my man" asked to barrow $100 (yes, just stamp SUCKA on my forehead), I said, "OK" - He explained that he needed $100 more to cover his insurance deductible...and he promised to pay it back the next pay day. Well folks...I got P beat on this one...it's January 3, 2006 and I ain't seen hide or hair of my damn loot!

Funny thing is...back in '97 (shortly after I got married), I went out to this club called Calypso (hey P remember that spot?) and as we drove by, one of my girlfriend's asked about him...funnier because we were passing the PageNet building when she asked...I kinda smirked and commented how that nigga failed to gimme my $100 back...WHY WAS HE THE FIRST PERSON WE SAW BEFORE WE WALKED UP INTO THE CLUB???? OMG! I damn near fell out! Don't think I didn't ask for my money...

Then fast forward SEVERAL years later...I run into this fool on BP (while Mack and I were separated) and he's got the nerve tryin to holla @ me...I told him he gets NO LOVE til I get my damn $100 - needless to say since I refused to be alone with him at his house, I never got my loot....I hate guys like that...especially GUYS that barrow and don't pay back...they suck!

Dee said...

Happy new year to you!!!

Thanks for checking out my lil spot!!!!!

I don't loan shit.If I have it I will give you a $20 spot nothin more!!!! I am a poor.single.mamma.anyone who knows I live paycheck to paycheck and that's real!!!

I used to live in Long Beach..............

Carmell said...

i used to loan or give my BD money. now here i was raising his child by myself living with my mama with a part time job and this negor had the nerve to ask ME for money. he had a full time job and no bills and was NOT payin CS! other than that i barrowed $500 from my grandmother...still got pay her back... but thats a lot and i will when we get our taxes back!! but that is the only time i asked for money...and it wasn't for me it was for my husband!

Serenity23 said...

This is my first time on your page. And I love those shoes you have on in that profile pic. Where are those from?

ddsprncs said...

I lost a so called friend over 50 bones. I lent it to her to buy food and she decided she was mad at me for something. funny thing is I had a way better job, car, man, everything and I use to lend her money all the time I think she was just jelous and did not want to give it back. Now a days I will go buy food for my friends when I see they are in need, i am also agreeing with "dee" I would rather give you 20 than lend it to you. Then if you give it back its a nice suprise.

Brian said...

I feel ya on this one sistas. I will take this a step further and P can testament to this. I don't believe in borrowing money from women in the first place. Particularly ones I am dating. My view is that if you have to borrow money from a women you are dating, then you don't need to be dating at that present time. P knows when I was just bring down a pissy $11.00 at AAA I still did not ask her for no money, I hate that shit. I have borrowed money in the past and have certainly loaned it out. But I paid it back within a months time. I also don't loan out what will hurt me if I do not get it back. Well that is my take on the whole situation. Some people just don't give a damn.

Brian - The Stalka

YouToldHarpoTaBeatMe said...

It's my 1st time on your spot. What I can't stand is when I loan out money to someone, and either, a) they pick that golden opportunity to want to argue about something, or b) they have the GALL to wear some new gear around me, knowing they owe me a grip.

At least, now, I know how to get rid of "friends"... loan them money. LoL

P said...

You Told Harpo:

You know that's right, gurl! I forgot to mention that, you get cool points.

Check out everything else and let me know what you think! Thanks for dropping by, and what degrees of separation did you hear about the site?

Wendy said...

Have you seen the movie " Better Off Dead"?...If you haven't the paperboy started a relentless pursuit of the main character for the "TWO" dollars he owed. That's me. So I try not to loan. I would rather you say, Can I "have" than loan if you know that you aren't going to give it back. If I have it I will give it to you. But don't give me a date and not deliver... I'll start quoting HuggyBear on your voicemail..."Not some, not half, run me ALL my cash"... Everyday. It'll just get worst...Please believe me!!! I'm worst than a bill collector. They'll be saying let me pay her this money so she can shut the heck up and stop harassing me!Yeah, some were mad, but question: How do you have the nerve to be mad and you owe me?