Tuesday, January 17, 2006

The Macaroni Grill Experience

THE MACARONI GRILL EXPERIENCE. . .

See,

I am out of town on business Tam INSTRUCTED (ahem) me to blog while I was gone.

Here's what happened on the trip to the Macaroni Grill:

I pick Tam up for dinner on Friday. I'm coming from work, so well, I'm dressed like I'm coming from work. So Tam comes out the house suited and booted like we about to go somewhere else besides eat. She looked spectacular in some jacket of some sort, some jeans and boots. Makeup just so. Of course I looked absolutely ridiculous and overdressed because I was coming from work. Anyway, back to the lecture at hand.

Initially, we had decided on going to Claim Jumpers, to no avail. The line was longer than sinners on Judgment Day. So we opted for the Macaroni Grill, and a very good choice indeed. Tam is going to proclaim that she didn't do it, but she poured it on with a smooth accent, which she calls the white voice but it sounded more cat drenched, asking (well, purring) for the maitre'd to give us a reservation over the phone. She calls it her professional voice, but I'm not sure what profession she is referring to.

Anywho, we had about a twenty minute wait. We people watched, one person of note we were both highly disturbed with, to say the least. There was a latino women and man cooing over their child, less than six months old, near the front door of the establishment, where cold air was gushing in like a geiser. The little boy was six months old, at best, with a VERY thin onesie on, and the father had the blanket in HIS lap while the mother was lifting the baby up in the air. I wasn't even closest to the door and I was getting cold. We wished the baby well and went along our way.

On to the service. Initially, we thought we were going to have to jump raw on the waiters (a la Denny's) because people were passing by not helping us. Needless to say, we happened upon a waiter, Jason, a chipper looking white boy (no offense to the non 'of color readers)', but he was chipper, with a hint of charm. Tam got some chicken pasta dish and a drank that looked like It would knock me out in two and two. I don't normally drink (maybe 3X a year, and that's being generous). So I stuck to the pina colada, and got the lobster ravioli.

Dinner was great. But during the dinner, we were asking for miscellenous items, and due to the fact that both of us were raised with something called MANNERS, we were saying "excuse me", "would you", "please" and "thank you so much" with every request we had. After the dinner was over, Jason comes over to us and gushes that we are the nicest customers he has ever waited on. You could see the sincerity in his face, and we were flattered, particularly since there was not a black face in sight. I'm just being real.

Meanwhile, the supervisor of the group of servers (we suppose because he was perusing around asking everyone how the meal was) complimented (READ: Fawned) over Tam and her jacket. He asked me did I want some coffee but he wasn't looking at me. I didn't really care as long as he brought the water, which is what I requested. He brought us our beverages, and then proceeded to tell us the following two things. (He reminded me of Miguel Ferrer I don't know why)

He complimented me on my boots - Whateva, a day late and a dollar short.

He told us that Jason was leaving to go to Marie Callendars.

He asked us did we go to church. I said I went to church; and I said it quick before Miss Wicca, USA could comment. He wanted to let us know that Jason went to church, too. Hey, I'm a Christian, and even I didn't know what that had to do with the price of tea in China. But whatever, I just smiled.

Then, we decided to give Jason a good bye present. In addition to a Fabulous tip (30 percent), we crayoned, (for lack of a better term) little messages for him. Tam took it to a whole nother level talking about her kids like this and like that, drawing houses like she works for Kaufman Broad, and telling Jason she loves her husband. This was ALL ON THE TABLECLOTH. I just told him good luck and what's up on some free pies during the holiday season. Tam thinks she's friggin Toulouse Lautrec using all kinds of color schemes and what not.

Oh yeah, I forgot to mention that we had the bomb dessert. I had something called Lemon Paradise Passion, or something like that look it up online. Normally, I would have more links for y'all to peep out but my connectivity is weird in this hotel so I'm trying to punch out what I can. The texture and topping on the lemon cake was sumptious, complete with a rich, creamy, decadent, lemony taste that wreaked havoc on your taste buds.

Tam had a mocha inspired dessert of some sort, that could only be described as orgasmic. Laden with coffee flavored themes, and densely supported by different flavors of the chocolate family, the richness, texture, and density was intoxicating, inviting, invigorating, and luxurious to the taste.

This has been Pattyopolis, reporting to you from KPAT - FM, on location in the Seattle/Tacoma area. Film at eleven.

16 comments:

D- said...

Marie Callendar's a restaurant in Cali?? That's interesting. Here they are only TV dinners and Jubb loves them. Anyway...sounds like you girls had an eventful time at the Macaroni Grill. You and Tam both give the best details! I can almost tast Tam's orgasmic dessert from your description.

That Girl Tam said...

HAHAHAHAHAH...ok, so I left a bunch of shit out of the story...SO WHAT!!! HAHAHAHA! You actually had me laughing out loud on this one P!! You'z a fool!!! Got me sounding like a crazy person...thanks...

Verfication word: BAPZY!

Dee said...

I've never been to Macaroni grill.....lemme see if there is one here in diego.........

you 2 are soooooooooooooooooo funny!!!!

YouToldHarpoTaBeatMe said...

Not "Miss Wicca USA". smh You's a nut. I didn't realize Marie Callendar was in Cali until that Doe joker and his lil' cult offed themselves, about 9 yrs ago. They had their last meal there (chicken potpie). Don't ask why I followed so closely.

I got hungry just reading this blog. I want me some lobster ravioli now.

Brian said...

Nice, you mentioned Kaufman and Broad, the house I grew up in was built by them. This was a cool story.

Lāā said...

You did give a very detailed account. It made me hungry too. Too bad I'm allergic to shellfish :-(

P said...

D. Yes, there is a Marie Callendar Restaurant in Cali. . . Here is the link: http://www.mcpies.com/

Tam: It's true, and yanno it!

Dee, you will LUV the macaroni grill. It's the bomb diggity.

Harpo: Girl, some stuff you just get caught up in. My mother was absolutely obsessed with Jon Benet and Tupac. To this day I do not understand why.

Brian: Yeah. Figured you'd say something like so.

LaaLaa: Go there and get some other stuff. I'm a seafood, lover, so that's what I generally get.

That Girl Tam said...

Brian...you couldn't come up with something more creative than that?? Aren't you a writer or something?? smh...

African girl, American world said...

glad you had a good time

Carmell said...

from ddsprncs's blog

KB: Absolutely Inappropriate. I am stunned....


was this directed toward me? cause i'm lost on what i said to make you say this???

P said...

Girl, I have lost my mind. I actually meant to put her name. I will redo.

Thank you.

PS: You haven't done anything to me!

Carmell said...

;)

Supa said...

hey, just now makin' it over here. I see great minds think alike!! (love your blog template)

:)

Supa said...

Aww, snap, you reppin' the LBC?! Go 'head!

"N" Search of Ecstasy said...

LOL, I've never been to the Macaroni Grill either. We don't even have them here in this part of Fla ;-(

I agree w/LaaLaa, you give a very vivid account (smile).

I'm luvin the Pattyopolis Network!

Brian said...

Of course I could have come up with something better than that, I just like to see P's reaction. Actually, it was extremely creative, because it got two people to leave a comment about my comment as opposed to P's story.