At first I was shocked; it was almost surreal. They couldn't see me because the way the bed was positioned, their heads were behind the door. So I could see from the neck down. I started whispering all on the phone, like the girl on the phone knew I was looking or something. Hell, I told her I had to call her back, because at that point I wasn't paying attention to the phone conversation anyway.
Thursday, January 12, 2006
Voyeurism - or Curiosity?
Voyeur: French, literally, one who sees.
1 : one obtaining sexual gratification from seeing sex organs and sexual acts; broadly : one who habitually seeks sexual stimulation by visual means
2 : a prying observer who is usually seeking the sordid or the scandalous
Have you ever watched, or knew you were being watched? I'm not saying that I am a voyeur, I'm saying that things keep happening to me, from childhood up through adulthood.
The first time it happened I was about seven years old. My brother Dennis, who shared a room with my other brother, was in my oldest sister's room with his company. My sister and I (we are a family of five) shared a room adjoining my oldest sister's room. I had the wall closest to my sister's room. I can't 'splain the wall, but I could see through it. My sister's side appeared as all wall, but my side was mesh, I don't want to confuse you I'm trying to advance the story, so I will end it at that; tinny-way:
I was playing with my play-dough, and was about to put it back on the shelf. I accidentally on purpose looked through the mesh, and Lillian (my brother's girlfriend) was on top of my brother with her pants down (down, not off), grinding my brother. He had his hands on her behind and they were moving. I was trying not to look, but I couldn't stop staring. They were kissing, too. So I just kept looking. I don't remember how and why I stop, prolly got scared someone was going to come out peekin. It was the first time I had saw anyone in the nude. For that particular feeling, I wouldn't classify myself as feeling sexual, but I knew it was something different to what I was looking at, because I kept turning around towards my door to see if my momma or daddy was coming.
Second time around, I was about ten. My friend who lived down the street, she was what we called at that time, a latch-key kid. For those of you born after 1980, a latch key kid is a young child who comes home with their own house key, and are generally home alone for a short period while their parents were working. So, she was home by herself, and I came over to play with her Barbie Townhouse. Her brother came home with his girlfriend and went straight to the den. We knew what was up. So we waited awhile and crawled into her step down den, at least near it, to see if we could see something. And we did. They were going up, down, up, down. But they were under the covers. But then they started getting crazy and the covers came off. Both of them started yelling really loud and we got scared and crawled back in the room because we thought they were upset that they were caught. Needless to say, I now know what they were dewin.
Third time around (this is the only ones y'all need to know about), I took my friend Melanie over her boyfriend's house. His parents were on vacation. He had a little sister but she went with them. He stayed behind to work and go to school. We were all hanging out for awhile, and then I went in his sisters room to mess around with her flute (I played one for seven years), and eventually went to sleep. When I woke up I went into his kitchen to use the phone (this was pre-cell phone era), and I was talking, and I happened to lean forward. I got a bird's eye view of the action.
I really did try not to look. But they were getting down. Right before they got done (or at least what my inexperienced self thought), I went back in his sister's room and laid down. I heard them when they finished. About 20 minutes later, she came in there (I don't know if she took a ho bath or what, but I didn't hear no water running), asking me what was up. I was like "Nothing, I just woke up". I must admit, I did keep watching, because I liked it. There, I said it.
Have you watched? Been watched? Did you like it - or not?