Monday, January 09, 2006

The Family Stone, Er, Addict

The Family Stone, er, Addict.

The Family Stone in actuality, is about a family of misfits. For myself, I am talking about one particular misfit in the family. The resident crackhead, my sister.


White Lines. . .vision dreams of passion (going through my mind)
and all the while I think of you (pipeline)
a very strange reaction (yours to unwind) the more I see, the more I do
Something of a phenomenon, telling your body to come along
Cause white lines - blow away..

My sister has had on and off problems with drugs for the past 15 years. She is very easily influenced and, on request, will jump off the top of the Empire State Building if you ask her to.

We have not particularly been concerned about her being on drugs for long periods of time. Let me qualify my statements when I say that. We DO NOT like the fact that she gets blazed up from time to time; however, my sister has always been a very scary/timid person. You come up behind her and she'll scream louder than a white chick in a horror movie. Because of that, she has always went on short term crack binges. "S" doesn't like to be hungry or cold. She was never one of the more long term addicts, a la New Jack City "I was Prom Queen of King High. . .This is beneath me!"

That's not to say that a rose by any other name, is just as sweet. A crack addict is a crack addict. And addict is a strong word for me, I don't think anything is an addiction, I full on believe they are chronic habit pattern that cannot be broken, but that's another blog.

Back to the lecture at hand. Again, we have never been concerned with her being on binges for long periods of time. When I say binges, that means to us disappearing acts. Which for her, were never longer than three or four days because as mentioned above, she doesn't like to be cold or hungry. Of course, we know the dabbling triggers the binges, so we are not uneducation in the pattern of substance abuse.

AND, the pattern is. . .she would come back begging anyone in the family stone chain:

  • Her children's father
  • My father
  • My mother
  • Her friends
  • My aunts and uncles

You see I am nowhere in the equation, she quit asking me things long ago. And she's always got a new crocodile tear story. She claims that she shouldn't be allowed to have a car and job at the same time because that triggers her drug binges (S has no clue with personal responsibility how the heasy do you choose between a car and a job - deal with the issue!) I don't mean to keep getting off track, but as for her being gone for short periods of time, that is a distant memory.

No one in this family has seen hide nor hare of my sister in over three years.

I knowwhatchathinkin - No, she is not dead. We haven't SEEN her, but she does call periodically. (We don't talk at all, I can only pray for her)

This is a woman that has four children (21, 15, 12, and 8). The last three live with their father, and the oldest lives with mines. Every holiday, I have to stand guard by the 15 year old, because she gets really sensitive around the holidays because of course, her mother is conspicuously absent.

I'm going to try to wrap this up, but my sister has begged, borrowed, and stolen from just about every family member of memory. She is currently living in Las Vegas (we know this because of the periodic 702 area code hang ups we get, as well as the "Hi kids" letters she sends to her children indicate), working at Walgreen's. This is a woman that has held jobs with the city, county, and government. She types 85 words a minute.

Walgreen's must be her day job, though, because her phone voice mail sounds like her name is Peaches and she's offering more than three for a dollar tic tacs at the corner.

Question of the day? You or someone you know has a resident family addict? What kind of beg borrow and steal drama have they put folks through? Disappearing acts, even?

And if you don't then you are in good company and where do you live so I can move there.


Lāā said...

The only two people in my family that were addicts are now dead. Their addictions killed them - my aunt,cirrhosis of the liver and my uncle, injuries sustained from a beating from the dopeman.

My aunt used to sell everything in their house and my mom had to take food over to her children. She eventually lost them to foster care. Her oldest son, who is a few months younger than I is in prison now. Everytime he gets out he does something to go back.

My aunt claimed that she used it to lose weight, initially! It just created a whole wealth of problems. She even used to frequent the 6 Mile & Woodward (high prostitution, drugs, tranvestites, gays, you name it) area. She was very resourceful and as far as I know she never stole from anyone. She had her hustles.

Ironically she was the coolest aunt that we had. She was the one that would let you sneak a drink or would tell you family stuff that the rest didn't want to tell you. I remember when she used to JUST smoke weed and I thought that was terrible. What I would give to have my weed smoking ONLY aunt back.

P said...


I feel your pain. For years, I have been waiting for "THE CALL". This child is under grace ane mercy beyond belief.

African girl, American world said...

Wow P.

I've led a pretty sheltered life and don't know of one addicted person in my family on both sides. My best friend is going thru some mess with her husband - it is prescription pills for him.

When I saw those this is your brain on drugs commercial (fried egg) when I was 14, I knew I couldn't do it. I have an addictive personality so I know neva eva to pop an X pill cause that is way too easy.

I often ponder on how siblings that grew up the very same can be so different and let life affect them so differently.

My sister lost crazy weight (like from size 16 to size 2) and I raised an eyebrow cause she's the one that will try anything. She's back to a healthy 6 now.

I honestly don't think my family could handle it. Hell my brother calls me an alcoholic when he finds coolers in my fridge :)

Thought provoking post, I'm glad she still calls and that the kids have you and their Dad to hold them down. Keep that 15 yr old close. Therapy? Is she bitter? I hate to see her go thru life angry at something she could not control.

Have you seen The Corner? It was on HBO and BET will be airing it soon. Powerful!

How was your weekend?

The Sarccastik Variable Why said...

i think or should i say i'm almost positive that my 3rd cousin is addicted to something...we don't know yet...but we barely see him...only on holidays....and he's looking bad....but i constantly pray for him...keep ya head up sista...everybody got one in the family...

P said...


One: I should have put that in my blog. Neva can I understand how someone thinks they are going to be the one that can hang with crack (or meth, or any other addictive substance).

You make a good point, cuz I'm with you. I stays away from all that stuff (and it has been offered) just on GP. Don't want any problems.

Mwabi: Don't get it twisted. She only calls them about twice a year - same for the letters. And she tells them about her new boyfriend (which I highly suspect is a pimp). So she's not a good mother. At all.

Unfortunately, I don't spend a much time with them as I would like to but we are working on it. One day (considering y'all don't know much about me, I will write about the family stone).

You know how people always say that their family is crazy but it's actually them with the issue. For real, my family is crazy and I'm the sane one. Stop laughing, for real.

Are her children bitter. Well, let's see.

Her 21 year old lives in Pittsburgh and does not ever want to come back to Cali.

Her 15 year old likes clothes she has no business liking.

Her 12 year old is, er, well fed.

Her youngest, he's neither here nor there she's been acting like this her whole life he has no attachment to her.

That Girl Tam said...

Well mama...this is a blog themed after one of our many conversation on the subject. I know that on the ssurface (and this is MY observation) all the stuff that you've been through (mainly revolving around your family) has put that seriousness on your face...although you always have a smile when you're around me and the kids...I don't know anyone with an addiction (unless you count TBM and her addiction to BULLSHIT)...I know it's painful to have your family in turmoil behind a sibling and I hear the strain in your voice when we talk about it...keep praying because we all know prayer works in all SORTS of ways.

African girl, American world said...

there you go with the well fed remarks again :)

Tam's comment makes this so much more *don't know what word fits here*

maybe you should blog deeper and cuss her out in your blog - therapy girl, get it out!

P said...


U don't know nuthin bout mae. :P

Closet Owner said...

I just stopped in, I have a lot of reading to do, I will comment when I am up to speed.

That Girl Tam said...

Aiight heffa...I see you wanna fight...and Idontgiveadamn HOW BIG YOU ARE! (hehehe inside joke @ Big) Shooooo....I knows how to stand on top of a chair to whoop you! (hehe...that's the shit my mama used to threaten me with).

I knows enough...and I'm THERE!!!

P said...


If yous don't stop talking sheeat, Imma go back to big lots and pick that bra up you. (HEHE)

Dee said...

I have an uncle(my fav.) who does ALL the things you mentioned!!!! He does reall good for a while(we know where he is, he has a job etc) then when he's bad.........he is M.I.A we know he's on a binge!!!!!

He's been beaten by drug dealers chased outta town etc.....

I just pray my grandma doesn't get that dreaded call one day!!!!!

I feel you!!!!

That Girl Tam said... can leave that bra at BIG LOTS...if I want a swing in my backyard, I'll have Mack put one back there for me...lace and padding NOT included!

Georgiapeach said...

Girl put it like this: My momma, my daddy and my daddy's girlfrien is living with ME. You already know.

Georgiapeach said...

Oh and let me also mention that my parents are one of the most popular ones here on this side of town. Seriously.

Cece and

P said...


Whaddaya mean by popular?

Wendy said...

Gurl I was married to a crackhead and didn't know it. I guess by the end of our relationship, everything was a blur or maybe he was just at the "Intro to cracK" stage because he didn't do the disappearing acts ( although I wished he would) Or steal things from me.( And made me a widow) After we split I guess it's when the spiral downward began. I thank God I was spared all the drama and heartbreak. I do know a few people now though who should have the "Will work for crack" signage. They don't want people to know they are dabbin, so somehow they make it to work everyday and by the end of the night on payday they are wide-eyed and feignin'. Always broke and's sad.

That Girl Tam said...

NO YOU DID NOT put Dr. Dre on your blog...dumb...just dumb...LMAO!! HAHAHAHA

SomeOne said...

the closest thing i have to that, is my future ex husband, he has been lie, borrowning, and stealing from his friends, family, and job for at least the last 6 months.... which has all come to a head. from what i hear, he's under investigation and has been suspended from work, has been evicted from the condo we used to share, (side bar: he left in Dec 2004, i stayed there till Sept 05, he stopped paying his uncle rent in Nov.), has borrowed money from any and everybody but me with false promises of payment, and some of his family suspect that he's on drugs.....i dont know if its true, but his actions sound a lil crackish to me

D- said...

I thoroughly enjoyed reading this post. Very thought provoking! Both of my parents are struggling, recovering addicts so I can relate.

By the way, I answered your question.