Tuesday, February 13, 2007

I Wanna Sex You Up

"Though your girlfriends a friend of mine
Here's my number and a dime, call me anytime. . ."
Skyy - Call Me.

Recently, a girlfriend of mines (who is a lurker but not a commenter) confided in me about an incident that happened with a good friend's husband. In the interest of keeping track of things, we will assign names:

Michelle: My friend
John: her dude
Becky: Her friend
Mark: Becky's Husband

What had happened wuz, my girlfriend and her dude had an overnight visit to Becky and Mark's house. Mark, Becky's husband, had a little too much likka in him. Michelle and Becky crashed in one room; Mark and John in the other.

Becky sleeps very very hard and Mark knows this. Without going into all the sordid details out there like that, Mark approaches Michelle at three thirty in the mutha fucken mornin drunk as all get out, commences to attempt to feel her up in her SLEEP (her breasts) and then tells her he has been desiring her for years and wants to perform on her in every way possible. He tells her that he thinks she is incredibly sexy and that he knows she is a freak, because he KNOWS she is. She is appalled, shocked, angry, everything in between. Most of all, she is sleepy, and this is almost surreal for her. She told me that he was looking at her in 'that way' that a man looks at you. He was BEGGING her to let him copulate her. What happened after that is irrelevant to the topic (for the record, she DIDN'T DO ANYTHING WITH HIM), just put it this way: She ain't one to phuck with. Her father will blast anybody who messes with her, and her uncle lives not too far from where it happened, and if she told him, would come by and I quote "snap a nigga's neck and keep it pushing". She handled her business, case is closed.

In any case, this incident triggered a lot of memories of similar incidents that have happened to me.

The first one was when I was in the eleventh grade. My friend was going out with this guy that we all grew up with. Since we all grew up together, we all had each other's personal information/addresses, phone numbers, etc. Well one day we were all on the three way (remember this was the S**** back in the day!!!!) , and she had to get off the phone. So me and dude, we kept talking. Long story short, he went on to profess his feelings for me, and asked me could we hook up on the side for some fooling around. I was authentically shocked! It took me a long time before I confronted my friend with this, who in turn confronted him. He denied it. Our relationship was strained for awhile, but after that, we resumed our friendship. She even went to the prom with that cat. Incidentally, a year later we (me and the guy) ended up scrapping over some bull****, no doubt because of the tension of all of this. In this case, I think she believed me; she just chose to get back with him.

The second incident was more on the ADULT SIDE with my friend's 'baby daddy' about ten years ago. . .I went to elementary school with HER, but I went to high school with HIM. When he was trying to reconcile with her, he was coming at her STRONG. One day he called me expressing her feelings to her about me (remember, I knew HIM before SHE did), and then suddenly there was a shift. It went from talking about her, to it's late why don't you come on by here so I can break you off, considering I had a crush on you and your big booty way back when. FURTHERMORE, he indicated that no one had to know, that we could keep in on the down low, and wouldn't that arrangement be great if he got back with her???

((insert crazy look here))

I was floored. I didn't tell her and this was why. . . Everybody had told her about that fool (and he was one). At that time, she was so blinded by him it was unbelievable. See, he had scorned her before and all she was concerned about was losing him. She had received phone calls from others (friends, strangers and Ex's) warning her of his indiscretions. She went on to five years of marriage and two more before she was truly sick and tired of him.

I have had both male and female friends indicate to me similar incidents. I know for sure, that one of my male friends had some of his girlfriend's WOMEN try to approach him on the DL because she was bragging on him being a freak-a-leek, (a definite rule breaker in my book), so she went all out on a smear campaign AGAINST HER OWN GIRL to try and get it on the DL.

Has this happened to you before?
Have you done/thought about this?
(Anonymous posts are okay)


Peach said...

heres my rule with these situations. If it happens I TELL HOME GIRL RIGHT AWAY. My ex detroit and i were living with annother girl. I came home once and she was telling me how he was off with his ex "RIGHT NOW" i was horrified, i told him what she said and he said "Did she tell you she's tring to ufck me??" I told her and she said "NO ITS THE OTHER WAY AROUND!!!" so what did I say "Y'all are both some freakin liars because neither of you decided to tell me!!!!" If your girls man hits on you, tell her ASAP, shyt be loud about it. Call her asap!!! Because the longer you take to tell her, the more you look guilty. ufck him and his feelings, he aint worth spit since he's trying to creep on his girl.

P said...


Oh, by the way, let me tell you an addendum to the first story I told you. . .

Both of them have cheated on each other. Some times more often than others. . .It's rampant enough where the marriage is moderately fractured, but that's not the point. However, with the friend that's crossing the line..

Even though I think cheating is crossing the line to, but that's just MY opinion. . .

And you can scream it at the top of your lungs if you want to. . .Bottom line is some women (or men, depending on the situation) will not believe you. That's not YOUR problem, it's just fact. That doesn't mean I condone it either way. It's a personal decision.

I'm also in the firm belief that (and there are exceptions to the rule, but exceptions DO prove the rule), that some people already know they are dealing with whores and what not and they are just being blind by it. Being with someone is a choice, and usually if it don't feel right, it ain't right.

Terry said...

When I was with the ex (20 plus years) I never cheated one damn day - not on damn minute.

Now I'd like to think that I had some high sense of morality - and I think I do - but truth is, Sister Girl was VERY accomplished with firearms. And I know she had a plan CSI couldn't have figured out.

Fear has a way of keepin' ya on the straight and narrow don't cha know.

Miss Ahmad said...

i haven't had anything like that happen probably since my twenties.

one time i was "going with" this one dude and he was pretty much a low life but we'd been friends since we were kids and i wasn't in love or nothing we were just having fun and plus he kept me laced with old kinds of goodies.

well we had this spot in LA and one night i'm at home waiting for his ass to come home and i get this phone call and i think it's him and it's his creepy as friend telling me that he could come keep me company.

I turned the lights on waited for my dude to return, told him the whole story and made him call his friend then.

They may or may not have stayed friends but i let it be known i do not get down like that!

The Phoenix aka ThatGirlTam said...

Ok, I'm just mad that you stole my "(insert crazy look here)" thing...

Can I get some royalties off'a that shit?

Paula D. said...

OMG! That is messed up! Fortunately, I have never been in one of these types of situations.

Anonymous said...

Yep, it happened to me most recently with my sisters ex...while they were married he was trying to get at me...at first it thought it was likka, on one of those drinking family things, but then, he showed up at my house one day for no apparent reason and tried to kiss and feel me up. I made him leave, but never told my sis, cuz i didn't want to break her heart, about 6 mos later they got divorced...it was the best thing.

Miz JJ said...

That happened to me with my best friend. We are still girls, but her man would always make eyes at me, or try to kick it with me when she wasn't around. Since she was a little insecure I let it slide until he put his hands on me. All bets were off. I told her he was a dog and to handle the situation how she saw fit, but if he ever tried that again I would be causing a scene. She broke up with him soon afterwards.

The Best [ Ghostface ] said...

I use to see this lady at a fast food place on her lunch break, she was semi dark skin and very pretty. She would stare at me when ever I came in for some fast food. I pretended I did not notice. So, one day she spoke and from that point on she always spoke with me. One day she said to me -- that she liked me, she said You have very pretty skin and you are handsome. She said I like men who are light in complexion and you have hair on your chest, that is something to lay upon at 3am in the morning. She asked me what I was mixed with I told her. She also, was dating this other who was her boyfriend. I did not want to get involved with her because she had a boyfriend already and was willing to cheat on him. So, I refused to purpuse a relation ship with her. She even started touching and holding my hand at one point. So I knew it was time to stop going to that fast food place so I stopped going. Man it is unique being me, I like being me, it is fun being mixed with various racial groups I would not change it for nothing in the world. Advantages yes, mistreatment because of it sometimes yes, but I still like being me.

I have had many situation like this with women from other racial groups too. But I don't want any bad karma to come back on me in the future. So i don't pursue this types of offers because these ladies have boyfriends and husbands.

The Mulatto kings

P said...

@ The Best Ghostface:

What does your biracial heritage have to do with the advancement of your storyline?

Just curious.

The Best [ Ghostface ] said...


This was what happened and I am just relating what was said to me by her. i these things happen all the time to me. this is what was said by the lady that's all. She was a nice person though.

Phil said...

Uhhhh, okay Ghostface....

P, I always come on here because you always take me back. In middle school, I used to pull the game ol' dude tried to pull on you via three-way all the time. It was so easy!

What you'd do is have your freak (that's what we called 'em back then) call her girl that you liked on the side (this girl always had something your freak didn't, be it a better weave, fatter ass, etc.).

You would all be talking, and inevitably, your freak would have to put the phone down after you heard her mom yelling at her to do something in the background. In the three minutes (max) that you had until your freak came back, you put in game with her friend HARD....

Ironically, this "three-way" scheme worked so well because back in middle school (high school and the first years of college too) you girls would talk too much to your friends about your man (as you alluded to in the post).

So if you were Gina and had a Pam-like friend, the Pam-like friend would already know "EVERYTHING GOOD" about your man; we as dudes knew this, and as the young morons we were/are, we'd take advantage of your friend's lonliness (or whatever other insecurity problems you would tell us about your girl seemingly every phone conversation) because the getting acquainted aspect had already been indirectly taken care of by you. Easiest game ever....

To fail at something that easy would be to feel lower than Kobe in July of '03; that's why you and that guy got to scrapping a year later, you messed him up!

As for your friend and Mark, me being a guy, trust me, Mark wasn't drunk, he probably just had a couple of wine coolers and used them as an excuse to finally grab that ass that had been alluding him for all these years. Good luck to them though, he's got to be embarrassed whenever he sees your girl (nothing worse than being a guy and having to constantly see a girl that has the upper hand after a failed sex attempt; so I've heard). 'Tis a rough world we reside, but hey, whatcha gonna do?

smoothie said...


it happens, but I think the trick to it is, figuring out how long it goes unreported by either side. First off, the fact that it goes unreported shows me (imo) that the thought of infidelity is there...

but, heres how i see it...guys do it b/c there either A horned up and on the phone late ..(to the ladies reading, if youre on the phone or computer with a man past 1 am and he's not fam, expect this behavior) or B theres something missing from the sexual activity he's geting at home..(let your imaginations run wild w/ that one)

For the women readers we all know you have that "FRIEND YOU CANT TRUST 'ROUND YA MAN " , i assume her motivation is A, she's not a true friend and seeing you hurt is really all she's in it for, or b and this is more often the case...Jealousy...Ive watched my sisters do it for yrs..A jealous women on the prowl can get just about anything she wants...and another persons man, esp. when its just for sex doesnt require much work...A lot of women confide way to much information to there "so-called friends" and expect that this information remains sacred..One friend tells another and the chain begins..Next thing you know.....well you get it..e

P said...

@ Phil: You crazy. . .But you always bring it to the table the way I like it. . .And as for the teenage boy hormonal thing, I kind of understood that, because he was just being, well, BEING! And I'm glad you brought clarification to why me and the guy had a fight the next year, I had known this dude since the second grade, and based on a tiny little disagreement he bombed on me and it was on, then!

And yes, as for the guy who tried to touch on Michelle, yes, he is very embarrassed and scared to death at this point, this we know.

@ Smoothie: LMAO. . .You crazy, too. I always love hearing from the fellas when stuff like this goes down. . .Always a fresh, honest perspective. And you're right, you can't keep telling your friends that your man has a hurricane tongue and not expect for them to get out the magic stick at some point and fantasize!

Sangindiva said...

The funny thing is none of that madness has EVER happend to me. I would have straight KILT my ni**a if he messed with ANY friend of mine... and he KNOWS it. I.AM.NOT.TO .BE.FUCCED.WITH.
If any of them did mess around it truly was on the low and I STILL don't know!!!

The Best [ Ghostface ] said...

@ Phil

I know of the game you are speaking of but the situation that I mentioned above happened recently while i am an adult. And these types of situations continue to happen to me. I know more game than you think, but like I said to P her blog is not the type that allows me to speak very openly so I police my words here. You are talking about school situations as teenagers, i know the games being known in high school to mack daddy put it down. I was very, very popular in school among the guys, and this lead to jealousy. then started telling all of the beatutiful girls that I was saying things sexual behind their backs and this was not true. it was all jealousy.

Too many women are easy to take advantage of sexually it requries no work to get them to things with many partners. So I police my self to treat them some what with the respect that they will not give themselves as females.

The game is so easy for me, that it requires no major effort, but I have no interest in the game Daddy O, it is in the past.

The Mulatto Prince

African girl, American world said...

um P what the hell is going on over here? LOL.

As for the topic at hand.....I avoid drama at all costs and would definately tell on ole boy if he tried to hit on me.

3 AM was just foul!

Aly Cat 121 said...

dayum that's some deep sh*t. I wonder if the "offender" feels some type of "connection" to the person they approach for a DL relationship?

I'm such a square that if any man did approach me in a DL manner I surely did not notice, thus that was the end of that. So to answer the question, no. LOL

YouToldHarpoTaBeatMe said...

I told a girlfriend as soon as it happened. She never reacted, but her boyfriend was quick to tell her "you need to put Tiki in check". It would've been cool if he didn't pull that on another friend of hers.

The next dude to pull that, had to explain to his girl why he got cracked in the forehead.