Monday, May 28, 2007

Freek-a-leek

I used to date this guy that had a foot fetish.

Now, I know all brothers say they don't want a woman whose feet looks as if they have been kicking rocks. I also know that in classic Boomerang fashion, that the fascination with feet escalated to an all time high.

But this brother was on some different kind of sh**.

This guy had a foot fetish that beats all foot fetishes. I used to work with him (broke working rule 101), and he actually said that he intially saw me from behind. Now, normally, if brothers see you from behind, they tend to look at, well, YOUR BEHIND.

I should have known something was rotten in the state of Denmark when this mofo when he said the first thing that he looked at was the heels of my feet.

The first time that we went out (it was to a coffeehouse). My legs were crossed in the direction that was not facing him. He actually made a special request for me to uncross my legs, and cross them in the other direction, so that he could SEE my feet at a better angle. I didn't think anything of it then, I just thought he wanted to check out the french tip. Later on in the relationship he told me when he was a little boy, that his mom's friends would come over, and they just thought he was the most obedient, friendly child. He said he was just happy because they would come over with sandals on.

Run, Forrest, Run, right? Okay, the dude was fine and at that time I was pretty interested in giving his goatee a protein shake.

ANYWAY. . .Needless to say, after we became involved, and we would participate in, 'extracurricular horizontal activities', the first thing on deck for him to do would be for him to give me an intensive, lengthy foot massage. Now, ladies, I know this is Heaven on Earth, and I agree wholeheartedly. However, it became increasing disturbing that he was getting an equal amount of pleasure (which is okay) in doing this, but he seemed to delight in it maybe even more so than I was!! Even to the point that he would appear irritable if I wasn't particularly ready, or interested in him rubbing my feet AT THAT POINT.

He was (I believe) harmless, and, after all he could throw that "D". Did I mention that he was phoine?!?! However, things started getting out of hand when he would email me and ask me what kind of shoes I had on.

Y'all stop laughing.

This wasn't necessarily the downfall of our relationship (not at all), we just went in separate directions. Not to mention that his increasing requests and unquenching desire for all things feet was starting to supercede his other attributes and quickly became, well. . . ANNOYING.

He eventually married a few years later, and much to his (and her) chagrin, he's been caught looking at women's feet, and, sometimes, confronted with printouts of women's feet (which, in his opinion, the more ORNATE with jewelry, the better) that he has found on the internet.

The boy needs help. But I don't believe he wants it. I think he revels in his sickness. Also in classic boomerang style, he has out and out said that he wouldn't date a woman, no matter HOW FINE she is, if her feet were unattractive.

Now, I won't go as far as saying (in public - hahaha) that I have any fetishes. Now, some folks I would consider having some serious fetishes are people like Marv Albert , who likes to take a bite out of crime when it comes to women, as well as trot around in their panties, and Rachael Ray's husband is just NASTY. What I DO enjoy looking at though, is a man's hands. They don't have to be perfect; because if they are I'm prolly going to get freaked out and think he has a case of bitchitis. But what I don't want, is someone that bites their nails down to the quick. Eew. But on the inverse, I do NOT want someone whose nails on their hands are longer than mines. That's a little too OG pimp Bishop Don Magic Juan for my taste. I also believe that no matter whether or not a brother is blue collar or white collar, your hands don't have to feel like you're a field slave, so I definitely enjoy them to be relatively smooth. Not so smooth whether I question if the brother has ever even changed a TIRE, but also hands not rough enough to cut diamonds, either.

Had to be said, enough said.

Do you know anyone that has any peculiar fetishes? Do YOU have some? Anonymous Posts ROCK!!

18 comments:

The Mistress said...

Ick I hate guys with long nails! EW EW EW.

Now I don't mind a guy with a mild foot fetish cause I like mine rubbed and licked and sucked but nobody wants excessive amounts of that shit all the time.

That's attention that could be paid to my pussy dammit.

chele said...

The protein shake on the goatee had me dying!!!

Fetishes? Nothing I'll admit to. Sorry!

Sha Boogie said...

LMAO@ Protein shake...ohhh gurl, ya nasty! HAHA!

I have a 'fetish', well I don't really call it that. But, my cousin does...I like BIG men. I mean big like Suge Knight! ROUND on top! 6'2 and over! HUGE foot ball player, be careful when he's on top, type of dude!..lol.. Skinny dudes eww and yuck. Do nothing for me.

BTW- thanks for the inspiring words on my last blog!

Miss Ahmad said...

i have a slight glasses fetish, i guess it comes from my first boyfriend. something wire rims really gets me going. i mean if a guy is fine and i find out that he wears contacts but has some glasses at home, i might ask him to whip 'em out for me...you know just for shits and giggles.

I have dated a few men with foot fetishes, one who used to like to lick my toes after a long hard day on my feet...which was well....interesting. Another who worked in a shoe store on the side just 'cuz it excited him.

The worst was a pee fetishist...he didn't last. i need peace when I'm on the throne, that's not time for sharing!

P said...

@ The Mistress.

I can't deal with the long nails, or the super short ones. They sicken me. . .And you're right, of course, the whole foot action is cool, but DAYUM he was always doing the most when it came to that.

@ Chele: Well, yanno. And, as for your fetishes that you will 'admit' to. . .MAN. . .Hit the anonymous post, yo!!

@ Sha Boogie: HAHAHA you just must want them to hoist you and do some phready deaky Ving Rhames "Baby Boy" type of sheeot.

@ Glam. Glasses. Yes. That sexy IT department intellect is very intriguing. . .And for the guys that were interested in after work foot play, hey, I'm telling you, boyyeeee there are some freek-a-leek folks out there in the world. And yes, I had an issue with the Golden Showers boy, who also had this "Don't shave your arms, legs, or any other hairy part of your body" Um, NO. . .not cool.

Miss Ahmad said...

i think it's that superman thing..a guy takes off his glasses and then handles his business if you know what i mean!

Rashan Jamal said...

The catholic school girl look used to intrigue me until Flavor of Love Charm School made it look so trashy.

My fetish du jour is a Black girl with a British accent.

P said...

@ Rashan Jamal. . .

Then you would absolutely love Beverley Knight and hearing her speak. . .

Here is the link to the youtube for her:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GUTfMDkiN5A

smoothie said...

im a thong guy...i dont know if it qualifies as kink, but they do it for me everytime...
granny panties should be outlawed/.

Peach said...

i dont think i have any, but foot fetishes freak me out. I hate when a man asks to see my feet. its just not normal to me. i went to the "D dealer" once and it was our first time fooling around...y'all bout to laugh at me...anyway he saw that i didnt shave past my knees and he reached out and rubbed my fuzz and said "ooo i like that" i thought it was weird. The reason why I DONT shave above my knees is all my mothers fault. when i was younger she told me not to, so i didnt. now i try to shave it and the hair is so fine that nothing seems to work. I may need to toughen up and get a wax. Its very light and not easy to see but its there LOL

Miz JJ said...

I could deal with a foot fetish that is pretty harmless. But I could not handle a anything to do with pee or shit. Ick. I once dated a dude who was a little too into my ass. Always touching it and wanting to kiss it. It was not my thing.

Anonymous said...

I like white dresses...

msdegrate1 said...

First,"give his goatee a protein shake," CLASSIC! Ewww on the feet tip. I cant stand a man that dabbles too long wit my feet..sorry makes me squeamish (i'm the weird one out of my gf club go figure lol)and I positively cant stand to touch a man's foot. But MY fetish....NOSE!! OMG it's something about a man that has a prominent nose...i.e..Vince Carter, Jaheim, etc. Oh Lawd makes me weak...:fanning:
@P, why did u make me admit this...i'm sooo ashamed..lol

P said...

@ Anonymous. . .

White Dresses, huh. I guess so, considering White shows off everything.

At Ms. Degrate. . .Hey, whatever works for you, yanno. . .See, it's THERAPEUTIC. . . (or, ya could have posted anonymously). . .

But isn't this juicier?

Paula D. said...

OMFG!!!! That is insane! Nope, no fetishes over here.....I don't think........

JustMeWriting said...

good post and hello. dag...I don't have any fetishes...dag, I'ma think of something...I've got so many oddities...LOL.

CortneyGee said...

i don't have any fetishes but i can't stand women with mustaches..

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