Wednesday, June 28, 2006

Black to the Issue

Does anybody care about black people?

Again, I generally prefer to leave the social commentary stuff to the experts, but not today. And before I even get started, let me qualify my statements. This editorial is posed not for folks that have particular preferences (Hell, my preference is Michael Jordan) - but for the deliberate shunning of one particular group based on preconceived notions. Excuse me in advance for going all over the place on this post, it just came out that way, so I decided to give it to you straight with no chaser.

I was talking to a friend of mines on the phone. Let me give you a little backdrop about him. Prior to having a relationship with me, he didn’t date black women for seven years. He was hurt by one (terribly – she swindled him for 15K for child support only to find out on national TV that the child was NOT his). After that, he engulfed himself into the Spanish culture. He listens to Salsa Y Merengue, Cumbia, all that stuff. He loves the Spanish language and its culture. No problem. Hey, I like to consider myself fluent myself, considering I can sing De Colores, Vaya Con dios & Como La Flor without any assistance. (HAHA). Yeah, I crack myself up. And if you look up the historical information from Cumbia, Reggaeton, and Salsa, you will note that they take their musical influences from black culture, and they will readily say that it comes from the blaxican, Central American, Egyptian, African rhythmic beats of the drum. So, they are who we are. Ellos son quién nosotros somos - They are who we ARE.

The challenge that I have is when the comparisons start to be made. Not directly, but indirectly. None of this stuff has been directly said; it’s been based on my interpretations why he avoided black women for So.Long. Now, he does readily admit, that, his PREFERENCE is for black women. He thinks black women are beautiful. He adores them in the highest, and even, has made excuses for their sometimes (overly aggressive) behaviors to others, because he believes they have been dealt with a very harsh hand. Listen, I’m not telling you anything that you don’t know. Often times we do have aggressive behaviors. I didn’t say ambitious, I said overly aggressive, and if you think about some of the people you know, I would think that you would concur with this statement. Frankly, if I were a fella, I wouldn’t want to muddle through a lot of that, either. It doesn’t mean that I wouldn’t. Y’all already know what I would do if I was a brother. But what I brought to his attention was that: (And when I say latin, I also mean Asian, I just got lazy and didn't want to type both of them).

If a white woman gets mad, she doesn't take any mess. If a latin woman gets mad, she’s saucy. If a black woman gets mad, she has an attitude.

If a white woman cleans and cooks, she is traditional. If a latin woman cleans up, cooks, and breaks you off she knows her "role"; if a black woman does it, she has an ulterior motive.

If a white woman is sexy, she is "HOT". If a latin woman is sexy, she’s just sexy, if a black woman does it, she’s hot and a whore.

If a white woman gets a man with money, she plays by the rules of money/status/comfort. If a latin woman gets a man with money, she just gets a man with money; if a black woman does it, she is a gold digger.

If a white woman does what she needs to do, she follows the legacy of her mother getting what she wants. If a latin woman does what she needs to do to snare a man or get what she wants out of him, she has jenesequa* (Spelling is horrible, but y'all get it). If a black woman does is, she’s playing games and is manipulative.

If a white woman demands something, she is seen as someone who can handle herself. If a latin woman demands something, she holds her ground. If a black woman does it, she’s stubborn.

Did it take JLo to recognize that it’s okay to have ass? Does it take Salma Hayak to say it’s okay to have tiggo-bitties? Does it take Jessica Alba to say that’s it’s okay to have big lips? Not to us, it didn’t.

This is not the first time I have heard this. Granted, I do believe (ahem) that some black women are abrasive, obnoxious, rude, and are downright unsubmissive. I SAID SOME, NOT ALL, AND NOT MOST. I don’t mean submissive in the weaker vessel since, please spare me the lecture; I only mean submissive in terms of capturing the essence of what it means to be a women, or what it means to preserve your sexiness (see excellence post on Nisa Ahmad). I do believe that. It doesn’t matter for WHAT REASONS they turn out to be abrasive; only that they are. That will be addressed later.

One of the things that we did agree on is that the Hispanic and Asian culture has worked to preserve their culture, their heritage, their familial strength, their music, and all other means, whereas (and there are always exceptions to the rule) we were thrown to the wolves, particularly the western black folks, considering they pulled an Amistad on us several hundred years ago, and as a result, robbed of being bi-lingual, in fact, and thrown into a society where we have NEVER been what’s hot on the streets. At least from a cinematic perspective. Sure, there are your resident Denzel’s Halle’s and Will's that will grace the screen. But for the most part, we have been relegated to a minority, literally and figuratively, on the news, in entertainment, and yes, even in the mating process at times.

Even Greg, the resident Dumb MOFO of the year, indicated in a conversation with me, that maybe he should try and date a Latina. I corrected him and said Um, No, maybe you should date someone who is not going to f uck you with no Vaseline is what you should be worried about, not her ethnicity.

Even at my job, I see it happening. We have a market specifically target (and this may be for geographic reasons) that literally and figuratively caters to the Hispanic market. It caters to them. We have a diversity staffing manager, and a diversity coordinator whose design is to recruit and attract bilingual talent (read: Hispanic). Sure, there are people who speak Spanish who are not LATIN, but I’m sure one of the very readers of this will actually confirm with me that the majority of people that she calls have latin like surnames.

It is difficult to explain how I understand what he feels but it doesn’t mean that I don’t feel awkward about the entire situation. I think that in our independence, we have, indeed lost some of our femininity, some of our softness, some of what attracts a male to a female. Yes, I know there are things that have not made males attractive to females, but I am not talking about them right now. But that has been by force. Often times we had to based on the circumstances that faced us. Poverty (or fear of it) single parent dwellings, the inability to be vulnerable because your life was ALREADY in a vulnerable state. The ineffectiveness to distinguish between being open and loving, versus being a sucker, which are not one and the same. Once again, If I were a good guy, I wouldn’t want to get through some of the barriers and walls that black women have.

BUT

I do know that we are ride or die chicks. You may have to penetrate through the Great Wall of China to get to us, but when you do, babee! If you are good to us, we are going to be three times as good to you. We will cut a mutha fucka over you, male or female, and we’re going to make you promise to US, that we will make it back in one piece. He was telling me “Well, that’s really not your problem because you understand the dance and the game” And I said “perhaps it may not be MY problem, but if I see that there are differences being made between who I am then I do take note and heart to it." I love being who I am, and wouldn’t change that for the world. I understand that all cultures have issues. Because I believe they do. White, Black, Asian, All of them. But that’s just what they are.

And what is MY issue? Preference is one thing. Stereotyping is another. And I'm not having it. With my own culture, or with another's. And what the hell, don't all of us have a little "In-Di-En" or " Cre-O"in us, anyway. We all family!

In fact, I know that it runs across the board. In talking to a co-worker, one of our latino counterparts, (and his brothers), do not date LATINO women, and WILL NOT. He told her, in fact, that he would NEVER date one, because they are too 'ghetto' and they gossip too much. Now, we know that is not the case for all of their culture, so that is an unfair statement he knows better. He sits around a Staffing Specialist, Staffing Manager, Legal Secretary, and Paralegal, and all of them are MEXICAN women, in particular. This fool grew up in Bell and any LA person knows that Bell gets DOWN with the brown pop.

Sidebar: I've got a problem with white boys/girls that won't date white women/men, either. AT ALL. That's creepy. But that's not what I'm talking about right now, but I just wanted to throw that out there. What the fuck is wrong with folks liking who they are.

Now, Black to the Issue:

How have you dealt with the stereotyping of your culture? White, Black, Asian, Hispanic, or Other?

Live, and Black in LA, this is P, reporting to you from K-PAT FM, the Pattyopolis Network.

47 comments:

DP said...

Stereotyping is the worst kinda social laziness.

It is easier to blame someone's issues on their race than to blame the individual and then look at finding another individual.

I dont deal with non-black women. Ive thought about it...almost did once...but loveis hard enough without complicating it culturally.

P said...

DP:

The issue that is have is not dealing with NON black (or any woman)

The issue is totally stereotyping a culture as a result of a bad experience or a preconcieved notion. As a matter of fact, I just remembered to put something else on the post. Thank you.

Supa said...

Dammnnnn Gina, you covered a whole lotttaaa ground innn thiss posstt!!

Excellent, by the way. I could just feel the fire under your lil' fingertips. :)

I'll be back....

LOVE THIS LINE:

"the inability to be vulnerable because your life was ALREADY in a vulnerable state."

sadly beautiful.

The Sarccastik Variable Why said...

nice food for thought p...i know i can't count on you to bring the real....stereotyping is one of the biggest problems in the US...

Supa said...

Still gathering my thoughts, but I'mma answer your question:

I CARE ABOUT BLACK PEOPLE! YOU CARE about black people. And we're not alone, P. Keep ya head up, keep posing the right questions and fighting the GOOD FIGHT. :)

I read a poem once called "Being A Strong Black Woman Might Get U Killed"

lemme see if I can locate...

DP said...

I know dudes like that...My father went through that phase...

he trotted out some BS to moms about her being the best black women ever, so that she would be the Last(and first?) black woman he ever married. then proceeded to marry FOUR white blond haired blue eyed size 12-14s in a ROW.

I asked him what that was about...he gave me no answer i could really make sense out of.

I think basically duckin sistas is about being a copout.

You are afraid (or too lazy) to take on the best and the brightest...so you go shoot your fish in the barrel.

P said...

Dallas.

I think that's the nicest thing I've ever heard. . .

And, as for the latino guy at my job who won't touch latino women, he, too is having tremendous problems (identity AND otherwise), with the American Princesses he has chosen in the past. I don't mean white, I mean status wise. He is in major grief right now. And he refuses to date anyone that is not in his eye of short, petite, and very blond. (not that that can't be a preference, but he won't look an ANYTHING else).

Cocoa Girl said...

I don't know. However, I do know that black men are the absolute worst at stereoptying - particularly us!

I don't have a problem with the fact that many black men do not want to date black women. My problem lies in the "reasoning" that they give for their preference, when one isn't even necessary:

"Black women are too...fat, ghetto, mean, bitter, money-hungry, cold, controlling..."

Take your pick.

My best friend once made this comment and it is so true:

"Brothas are the worst publicists for sisters."

Period.

Ok...how do I deal with it? I am guilty as charged, except I don't think what others call stereotypes are always so. Many times, these conceptions don't just fall from the sky. There are some truths to them!

I guess all of this to say that I haven't really learned how to deal with the rampant stereotyping of us. Other than to stay true to myself.

P said...

@ Cocoa:

I don't stereotype men or women. I can't. I can't expect the same kind of honor if I don't do it myself.

No one deserves respect. Not because you are black, not because you are a woman, or anything in between.

Your character, reputation, morals and guides are what are deserving of honor and respect. Keeping your word, being authentic, and realizing who you are - and who you are not.

I'm not going to even say that all brothers (or sisters) feel that way about their people. So that's not fair. But I can say, once again, I understand preferences - Like I said, I PREFER MICHAEL JORDAN, but I don't understand exclusivity, and exclusion.

That's prolly why I never joined a sorority. That's another story.

So, in essence, what I'm trying to say, is. Don't make one person's issues everybody's issue. If you have one bad apple (and there are some bad apple women, come on now), then get over it and move on.

Miss Ahmad said...

my favorite uncle hasn't dated a black women since the early 80's. I guess sista's aren't checking for a high yellow, Roman Catholic Republican, who doesn't watch tv, likes to travel the world and doesn't even own a pair of blue jeans, much less a pair that sags.

while he watched the men who grew up with straddle the fence between thug and preppy boy, he noticed early on that the sistas he was checking for were checking for some type thug dude.

he's a type nerdy, but that could also be considered well read and worldly, and although I've tried to hook women up with him, its always the same...

He's just sooo nice!

so i dunno in case like his if your own race disses your first, you gotta get with the one who loves you.

P said...

@ Nisa:

There is a difference between a trend of folks that diss you (and that HAS happened to some black men, especially if they were up and comimg), versus playing on stereotypes and having a negative (bitter) taste in your mouth about ANY ethnicity based upon the social constructs. Some may say race is a social construct.

To a point, I agree with that. What I do NOT agree with is someone saying all white folks are this. . .or all black men are THAT, or all hispanic men are THIS, when we all know better than that.

And I'm certainly not going to be the mouthpiece to perpetuate that.

As for your uncle. That's any sister's loss that did-ent see the diamond in the rough.

And by the way. That's an exception to the rule. And exceptions prove the rule. I find it hard to believe that most of the people who shun who they are (whatever they are) are because of the reasons that you stated regarding your uncle.

Miss Ahmad said...

well what I'm saying is that he's not the exception but in fact a good example of how folks get banished to the other side...

the moral of the story is that he doesn't date black women any more...sometimes i wonder if he's trying hard enuff to do so, but it appears to me that he's buried in a pile of snow if you catch my drift!

P said...

Nisa:

I don't mean the exception (being a good man).

Hell, I'm not going to even try to explain it I will probably mess it up further.

I'll just let erry-body try to fix it for me.

The Phoenix aka ThatGirlTam said...

By the by...that "DP" is NOT Dallas - just thought you should know...That's David Parrish from Texas (I do my homework, I suggest you do yours too!) *wink*

Ok, now on to my comments...hehehhe

Why YES Miss P, I have dealt with stereotypes of my culture.

I've been asked 24,457,387,456 times if I eat rice every night.

I've been called every kind of NIGGAnese, CHINKAnese, BLACKanese there is. Personally I prefer BLASIAN to all those OTHA names.

I've heard and have been told EVERY SINGLE FUCKIN Asian joke there is (there was this black man, a jewish man and a chinaman...and the chinaman said...)

My bio father has never been with a black woman. His saditty creole ass only dated YELLOW women (like my CHINESE mother) or WHITE women (like my SISTER'S MOTHER) or MEXICAN women (like my stepmother - who btw is THE.BOMB!)

And it's funny because my father is the most NON-BLACK man EVER...I mean, he doesn't LOOK white, but all of his FRIENDS are white (AND my father is a big time Hell's Angel-type Harley Biker). My dad SO does not fit ANY kind of stereotype - of ANY KIND. Yeah, he's got tatts...but they consist of Harley Wings, snakes and other "biker" shit.

And then my MOTHER...the most UN-CHINESE woman I know - SOUNDS BLACK, ACTS BLACK, hell - THINKS she's black (when it's conventient). That's a WHOLE other story...maybe I'll blog about it...(for my local peeps - she went to Gompers Jr. High and grdauted from Washington in '68) My mom is straight HOOD and BOUGIE ta'boot!

James Manning said...

From the Black Man

My life is a contradicted-stereotype. I’ve been branded as too ghetto by some and accused of talking white by other. I was a jock that participated in the drama club. I was House (danced to house music) and could bust a free-style and a head spin and the drop of the hat.

As for sistah’s… that’s all I ever dated (with exception to one Mexican chick when I was in high school). So I have no reference except to say that the personalities and attitudes of the sistah’s I dated varied, as did their pigments. Maybe I’ve been around too many black women to ever give credence to the “black women have attitudes” line. Hell, y’all can be a trip but there’s a white woman somewhere getting on the last nerves of a white man.

When fifty-percent of all marriages fail, that’s proof positive that skin color don’t have jack to do with anything.

Now, if you were to ask, are women out of their damn minds… that’s a stereotype I could ride with :)

Supa said...

oooohh James went there with the "crazy womens" comment! lol

To piggy back on Glam's comment: (and this may even get more into the grey areas, but)

I get real uncomfortable with the notion that when we say "black men", it's suggested that outside of the "nerds", they're ALL saggy panted hooligans. Black men run the gamut, from "nerd" to "thug" to "geek/thug hybrids" to everything in between - just like European men.

As far as confronting sterotypes -I love to break, then REINFORCE stereotypes. It's big fun. Like, I'll give a bomb ass presentation at the office, "corporate girl style", I mean, SLAM THAT SHIT HOME in front of all the big wigs and massas....then decline any lunch invites by stating that I have to go to the swamp meet to go get my car windows tinted. Or some shit like that.

Fun fun.

Fuck 'em.

P said...

Okay, Okay, Okay, let's get something straight right the freaking nizzow.

Glam (and James) AND Mr. Dad of Phoenix are not exceptions to being black men. Because our men (and women for that matter) run the gamut of styles, personalities, looks, and characters. What I mean by exception is that if they are not being loved by the very folks that born and bred them, then it would only be natural to go to who and where you ARE loved.

My ISSUE is that people behave and make comments about other people based on social constructs and preconceived notions. Just like with Sup, I have to deal with all of that foolishness in corporate AmeriKKKa. People will come in the office, say hello to everyone else, and then say "Wazzup" to me, to which I will PROMPTLY not answer them.

Saying particular things about an ethnicity is harmful, hurtful, and unnecessary. ESPECIALLY if it's built on stereotypes or just one bad experience.

As I speak, I am on the phone with a black female, who talks about how "Ni&&as aint shit", but that's based on the company she keeps. She is a magnet for attached men and then she gets mad when the wife/other woman approaches her or she can't get ahold of them. To me, she AIN'T shit because she keeps going out with these folks.

The ultimate point that I am saying is, it's okay to love and be who you are. . .As well as others, but don't give me some bald ass excuses as to why you can't love and be with who you are. . .

If you happen to fall in love with someone else, that's fine, but fall in love with someone else, period. Don't go into reasons why sisters this or sisters that. (brown, black, or white).

Local example (that's like living in LA and buying a house in the Inland Empire, Riverside, or the Antelope Valley) and explaining why you bought a house 75 miles away from your work location. Hell, just buy the house, you don't have to explain if the reasons are justified.

That's all.

Cocoa Girl said...

"one bad apple..."

LOL

Cocoa Girl said...

Girl -

Why'd you go picking the mind boggling post for the Hump Day? How do folks deal with stereotyping of their race? I ask, b/c it seems like the readers (self included) had a difficult time answering the question as it relates self and how WE deal with it...

I wonder if folks just avoid the stereotypes at the risk of denying a part of themselves or if they just do whatever they want (perhaps) at the risk of harming the whole...

Good post, but a hard one...

James Manning said...

I've often had to defend my brothers. Granted, there is a lot of crap running around - I do believe jaimie's ex is infected with every known pschologocal issue known to man.

And brothers have dropped the ball (in general) when it comes to leadership within the black community and within their homes. But men of all races have issues and it is just a matter of finding the right person with the right values. But I can't tell you how many women turned me down because they thought I was too nerdy or too nice.

but it's cool. I found a nice girl that appreciates a nice guy and she even tolerates those times when I lapse into my Chicago westside gully mentality.

Miss Ahmad said...

As the black girl who has dated all the black men that don't usually date black women I think i'm catching on P...

These dudes have like an identity crisis on their hands by their teens usually. They mamma smoked cracked, they had to walk to school barefoot 'cuz they was poor, they had chittlin' sammiches for lunch and people laughed at them...

For them success was leaving all of that behind and not repeating the same heart break that their mamma, first girlfriend that stabbed them, or Nay Nay that used to take their lunch money.

Most of these dudes became what I call bootstrap men, pulled themselves up and tried to become something...and in this country that still means "got a white girl and never looked back"

Although I used to wave a flag tell black men to come home...I stopped. Take all them tired issues and park them at Beckie's house cuz we don't need 'em

I totally overposted sorry!

Miss Ahmad said...

And to Supa are you saying that all European men don't wear tight jeans, speedos in the summer and skip the deodorant in the morning?

P said...

@ Glam: HAHA @ "they had chittlin' sammiches for lunch and people laughed at them" But very true.

And Yes, you have answered the 64 thousand dollar question.

That's what I was trying to say.

Supa said...

@ Glam, you crazy, sis!!!

Hey P! I know we're all over the place with the topics, but hey. The dialogue is hot! :)

Isha said...

Man!

You laid it out! I often wonder why we get the rough labels when we are just being what we've had to be. There's a movie with James Earl Jones where the mother can't have a man in the house because she's on welfare. He can sleep there, but he has to leave in the morning because the welfare (white) lady may pop up. What did years of that teach us? How to work things to make our family work.

It's rough sometimes. The brothas want a "ride or die" sista' but don't want all of the package. There are very few video girls who can make a meal and few WOMEN who will take video ho mess. And just because she's from a different culture does not make her better or easier to get a long with.

I have a friend who has a white woman calling him everything but Ni@@a ON THE INTERNET, but he loves her dirty drawls. Let a sista do that and she's trippin'.

Great post P...sorry I'm late chiming in.

Lāā said...

Wow. I had my first experience of racism when I was 5 in kindergarten in south Jersey. A white boy said that I couldn't play cards with him because I was Black. He didn't really know the reason why but it was something his grandfather told him.

I'm going to reverse your question a little bit. My warped perception (stereotype) is that a white man could NEVER be truly attracted to me. I feel (again this is my warped perception) that he only wants a Black woman because she would be good in bed or a 'jungle bunny'. I could never take him serious, ever.

The Black men that I sometimes encounter think that women are money-hungry, have attitudes, out for the highest bidder, etc. I LOVE defying these stereotypes.

Many Black men are attracted to and prefer to date white women and I cringe when I see them, sometimes. I always feel that they have given up on the sistas for Becca.

My own brother dates every other race besides Black women, yet I have never called him out on it. I believe (in my mind) that he has an excuse growing up in the outskirts of Seattle. But his excuse is probably not any better than the many other men out here who do it. It would be difficult for me to change my point of view on that, and that's probably why stereotyping and racism will always go on forever.

P said...

@ Isha:

There's a Movie with James Earl Jones. . .

THERE'S A MOVIE WITH JAMES EARL JONES?!?!

That's the Great CLAUDINE! One of the top films of all time (at least in MY MIND!) - AND SUPASISTER. . .

P said...

@ Laa: Re: I'm going to reverse your question a little bit. My warped perception (stereotype) is that a white man could NEVER be truly attracted to me. I feel (again this is my warped perception) that he only wants a Black woman because she would be good in bed or a 'jungle bunny'. I could never take him serious, ever.

That's AN ENTIRE OTHER PANDORA'S BOX THAT WILL BE EXPLORED. Trust.

The Phoenix aka ThatGirlTam said...

Speaking of stereotypes...how come you asked ME (of all people) what a Chinese Finger Trap was??

*hmph*

P said...

@ The Phoenix:

I TOLD YOU ON INSTANT MESSAGE THAT IT SOUNDED RACIST, BUT I WAS ASKING YOU ABOUT A GAME, NOT BECAUSE IT WAS CHINESE.

YOU ARE THE ONE THAT BROUGHT UP CHINESE JUMP ROPE AND CHECKERS AND STUFF.

Thanks, again for putting me on blast. I REALLY love you.

Isha said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
DP said...

now is probably a BAD time to ask what a chinese finger trap is, isnt it?

P said...

HAHA @DP:

It's a childhood game. It's FUN.

(BUT The Phoenix thought it was something freaky).

Here is the link:

http://www.fakecrap.com/products/chinese_finger_trap.html

J. G. said...

You know how I feel about this, but I can't believe some of the stuff that was coming out of his mouth, your to ghetto and you guys gossip. See he is so use to having a woman to tell him what to do etc. he will never know what its like to be taken care of. I agree if you take care of me your going to be treated like a king. Yeah its true we maybe be ghetto and gossip a whole lot but you know what we are the same ones that are at home making sure shit gets done. We are the one's that will sell food from our homes because our husband's lost there jobs and we are the one's that will never ask why? We do what we need to do and we pick up our end. I'm not only taking about latina women I'm talking in general ALL WOMEN!!!

Isha said...

O.K. 50 lashes with a wet noodle for Isha. I thought it was CLAUDINE, but was not sure. I guess it would not help that I could not think of "the ladies" (Diane Carrol) name at the time either. Apologies. May I have my Afro-card back now?

Whirlwind said...

can a white girl chime in late?????

I've read, re-read, and read again this post. Then I thought, re-thought, and thought again about what I might have to add, or say or would it even be considered, considering the color of my skin.....

dp said it best in the very 1st comment "Stereotyping is the worst kinda social laziness"....TRUE

My struggles growing up lay at the mouths of my parents who let's just say were not educated enough or enlightened enough to love without boundries of color. In other words they were to lazy to look past stereotypes.

I was boxed in as to who I could date and who I couldn't..not just by my parents...but I was also from a place that white girls dating black men was grounds for an ass' whopin from the community of Beautiful Black Women who said it was wrong. So looking back, I dealt with a whole different stereotype.

"Ooooh, look at that blonde girl (yes, P I'm blonde) with that brother....oh, no she didn't"

"Why is that white girl up in our neighborhood"

"That white girl is talking to your man" (nevermind I was just giving a friend from elementary school through high school a ride home)

Now, I'm not saying any of that kept me from doing anything I wanted to or that I was socially dwarfed because of it.... And I am fully aware that the color of my skin has given me certain advantages but some of the things in your post were not true...

A strong white woman is nothing more than a FUCKING BITCH to white men, black men, hispanic men, etc....

If a white woman gets mad....All colors of people look at her like "what do you have to be mad about"

Oh, and the line about a white girl getting a man with money...PSSSSHHHT, that's a gold digga no matter where you come from.....which pisses me off cuz I don't need his money I've got my own...it just so happens he's got some too

So all of this just goes back that stereotypes are universaly bullshit!

The Phoenix aka ThatGirlTam said...

((hand clapping)) Bravo Wendy!!

Well said...from our resident White Chocolate! GO GURL!!!

We all gotta deal with that shit no matter WHAT the color of our skin is...how come black folks assume all white folks drink Diet Coke? heheheh...I actually HEARD someone ask that?

"Do all white people drink Diet Coke?"

"I don't know. Do all black people drink GRAPE SODA?"

HAHAHAHAHA...taken from a conversation between a co-worker and our WHITE C.F.O.

P said...

@ Wendy:

You like brothers? Oh, I like the word dwarfed. Great use of the word. . .I like good words.

@ Phoenix: HAHA @ "Do all black people drink Grape Soda?"

That was great.

Msnhim said...

Im going to have agree with everyones comments....stereotyping is just ignorant

Sangindiva said...

This is very interesting P.
I honestly don't know how I would answer this.
As a Black Latina by race but a Black "white" girl by trade... I am lost.

I too, like Laa- do not take white men seriously.
I feel like I am just the one to f**k not to take care of and love.

My preference is a Black man but lately he seems to not want sista's either.

With Latin men- I have too much "black" attitude for them.

Shit what's a girl to do?

This was a great post, P. Truly food for thought.

Me said...

i can always count on you for good convo !

Dee said...

My only brother hasn't dated a black woman in years..........it bothers at times but I just want him 2 be happy!!!!!

I don't sterotype..........even if my bruthas do it I refuse..I luv em all. The thugged out ones, the nerdy ones, all of em!!!!

Great post!!!

ddsprncs said...

very interesting, being a "black" (I am mixed but you know what I am saying) women in a white world I see it everyday.

Anonymous said...

it's "je ne sais quois" --- french for I don't know

Anonymous said...

french for "I don't know what"

P said...

Well, Hell's bells, now we know how to spell it.

Thank you, anonymous.

Seriously, yo. We've been trying to find it.

Anonymous said...

Happy to be of service. If there was an obsessive compulsive editing disorder I would have it. Now I can read the rest of the post (no lie). I promise no more edits.