This post, was in part, inspired by an email I received from a friend of mines yesterday while checking my emails. . . It reads:
Hi my friend,
How are you doing? I thought I would email you and wish you a Happy Valentines Day. You know Valentines Day is not just for lovers. Its also for friends. So how are you doing? As for myself. School and work are keeping me out of trouble. I do have to brush up on my writing as far as term papers go. I really do have to do better on my skills. As for Valentines goes. I do not have a Valentines this year. And I pray that one day GOD will bring my way that special someone. Well write me back when you can.
I got to thinking: This is a woman who has a desire to meet a mate and get married. I know she will find that special someone, but when, and where? She will be busy on Valentines Day because she has to work and go to school, but what will she be thinking about?
It also triggered so many thoughts in me, that include:
This year's Valentines Day marks the 10th (whew!) anniversary of my friend's dad's death. He was only 48 years old when he passed and when I tell you it seems like yesterday it literally only seems like yesterday that he was here with us. He was the neighborhood father that we all loved. He loved us when we were fatherless, when we were needy, and everything in between. He went into the hospital for routine shoulder surgery of February 3rd, and subsequently complications emerged (we later found out he was overmedicated during surgery - has since been taken care of through the courts.). When his daughter (my friend, his only child, whom he raised alone) went to pick him up, his speech was slurred and he was slightly drooling). He was put on life support on February 5th, and he never left the hospital. To this day, Valentines day is an extremely difficult day for her. She is married with one child now, but I don't think Valentines day brings on the same significance for her as it does to others, at least not in the context that V-Day represents. I hope, maybe one day, she will realize that this international day of love can be a way for her to realize the love that she had for him can be symbolized - and celebrated, on this day.
I think about when I fell in love at first sight on February 12, 1997, as I was picking up a card for my friend, telling her that I would remember her on the first anniversary of her father's death (same one from above). He was there, and we talked. We talked the next two nights for five hours straight, each night. . . He came over on a Saturday, and brought me one yellow rose. (Other roses followed, but considering we had known each other for only two days, one was appropriate). He also brought me a card, thanking me for coming along at the right time. It was an incredible experience, and I love him for that to this day. Sidebar: He has since turned out to be a bigger whore than anyone on the Moonlight Bunny Ranch ever could be, has more kids than the law allows, rolls a fat bomb ass Lincoln Navigator (with a questionable income to boot), and can't settle down. (MINOR details as to why we are not together to this day) but 'tinnyway, He was pimp with his, and was always nice to me, hell at that time I was feeling the SOS band - Just be Good To Me. Okay, that was another life so on to other news. . .
I think about my first love, "J", and what he must go through on Valentines Day. This is by far, one of the most physically gorgeous men I have ever known. He is a single father who has custody of his two daughters. Their mother, who was never really a large factor in their lives, was killed by her husband in 1997, I believe. He had custody of them prior to that, but that's not the point. One day, late in August of 2000, Jemal was playing baseball. He was on first base, and attempted to steal second base. Trying to slide head first into second base, the second base player blocked the base. Jemal crashed headfirst into his knee, and was knocked unconscious. When he woke up, Jemal was a quadriplegic. He has since regained some movement in his arms, but not very much in his hands. At that time, he was in a standing relationship with a woman for approximately one year, but I think she could not hang after awhile and left. I remember what it was like for him the first year. I remember him telling me he couldn't look at his old pictures; that he was going to 'beat this', that his mind said 'get up' but he just could not. I also remember him kissing me a few times in the rehabilitation center he was in for a year. I let him. How could I not? (Plus, he is phoine!). But anyway. . .Who is his Valentine, I wonder. . .
I think about the people that have loved, and lost. Perhaps they are in the midst of a breakup. Perhaps they are holding on, which is very hard to do when love is gone. . .(what y'all know about THAT song). Perhaps, this is the beginning of the end. Maybe there are those that have never known love, maybe they are mateless, childless, Godless, or any combination thereof. Perhaps they don't understand that Valentines Day is not just couples. It is an expression of emotion, devotion, and love, for whatever it is that you do love, including pets.
By the way, the literal day of Valentines Day, I personally do not like. I think restaurants OVERBOOK, I think flower shops OVERPROMISE and UNDERDELIVER, and I think that it's just a comeuppance day for many who feel pressure to deal with it. For the men, it's a never ending "Deer in the Headlights" saga, trying to figure out what will please the missus. For the woman, the subconscious measurement of what you got to another. And the office flower shop biz, that's a painful sight to witness!! WHO GOT THE BIGGEST BOUQUET - AND THE SMALLEST?
The significance of Valentines Day, however, DOES matter - it stands for love, and our commitment to it, the everlasting knowledge of experiences either eros, erotic love, phileo brotherly love, or agape, unconditional love. I full on believe that it should be acknowledged, and celebrated as such, and with that said, HAPPY VALENTINES DAY, readership! Have a wonderful day!
How do you feel about Valentines Day? What have been some of your experiences? And what are your plans? Any bad mishaps you want to share? Any 'Best of' Valentines Day? Anything goes!