Open Letter to the Married and/or Parents

As some of you may or may not know. I'm unmarried and childless. I'm not a homely handmaiden, nor a jezebel looking to seek and destroy marriages. I'm just a regular, somewhat goodlooking (or so I think) chick with some cute shoes.

Most of my friends are married. Most of my friends are married with children. But I still love then to pieces.

Have I been proposed to before - YES - 2 Times. Have I been pregnant before - YES, but I didn't know it.

- I am not a male basher, I love men, prolly too much,
- I do not hate children, I'm like Trick Daddy, I luv the kids.
- I am not in a rush to do either, you know what happens when you do that.
- I am not some progressive free salt of the earth thinker that doesn't believe in marriage or children. I believe in both, if in fact that is the directive your life takes.

I just have not gotten married yet. Or had children, yet.

I would like to go through some of the spiel of things that I hear from time to time. Perhaps you've said them, perhaps you've heard them a time or two. Enjoy it, it's all in good fun.

"Girl, don't have kids". Why not? You had them? I thought you just finished telling me in another breath not too long ago that having kids was very rewarding. Are you telling that to make me feel better? Because I don't feel bad, but now I'm looking at you like you're crazy.

"Girl, if you were a mother, you would know how tired I was". That doesn't mean that I am not human. Does that mean that that I can't express emphathy or sympathy for you? I too, have been tired. Yes, as tired as you.

"Girl, don't get married". Why Not, you did?

"Girl, these layoffs are coming up. I can't afford to lose my job, I have kids!" Frankly, I don't think anyone that holds a job can afford to lose their job, single or not. For myself, I am not bulging at the pockets with $$$, either, so I cannot afford to lose my job, either. Furthermore, if in fact I do lose my job I have no one to turn to. I cannot get relief assistance for women and children, nothing like that.

"Girl, why don't you have any children yet?" Well, I don't know. Maybe I can't walk and chew gum at the same time. OR just maybe because I have a preference to put the cart before the horse and be married first. That is not to say that I turn my nose down at those who have not, (see paragraph 2 - it almost happened to me)

"Do you have a desire to get married?" I don't know isn't this a 'pick your poison' kind of question. About as much as you want to be single, I suppose.

"Girl, if you plan on getting married, you'd better hurry up?" And do what? Get married and end up being a divorcee? Or a single mother stressed out all the time? Or be married and miserable because I picked the wrong time/and or person?

"You don't understand. You don't have any children". I also do not know any victims of Hurricane Katrina, 09/11, the Space Shuttle Challenger, and the Vietnam War.

"Girl, I don't know if it's safe to leave you with my baby" Okay.

"My husband gets on my nerves!" And you prolly get on his, too because you don't shut your piehole.

"You become unselfish when you become a parent." I didn't know I was selfish.

"Have you ever watched children before?" Sure. That's my voice on the movie, saying "Have you checked the children?" (HEHE) Seriously, human children, or pets? Yes, I know how to take care of children. I have 12 nieces and nephews, all of which I have taken care of for long periods of time. I have been an aunt since I was ten. Two of which call me MaAuntie, instead of My Auntie, because I took care of them so well. I know how to hold them, change them, feed them, watch them, deliver medicine to them, clothe them, mix formula, warm bottles, mash up food, feed them, burp them, lay them, nuture them, etc. But in terms of watching them. No. I don't do that, I'm not a perv. Take care of them, YES. I can do that.

"It's different when you have children, though." It's also different if you are hearing imparied, or have bad credit. That doesn't mean that those who can hear can't read close captioning, and those who have bad credit can't buy a car. Which means that I still understand.

"You're always so busy. What do you have to do?" Nothing really, except sit around and watch Celebrity Fit Club, Pimp My Ride, and My Super Sweet 16. I guess I could do other things, too, such as pay all the bills, work, fix everything around the house, figure OUT how to pay everything and still save a little. Cook, clean, shop, study for school, work, run errands, wash cars, deal with my family (I do have one, you know). You know, kind of the same stuff you do.

In closing, generally the intent of it all is all in good fun. Don't get all excited or anything, I'm not chiding you. I know your intent is not to offend, and for me who hears these things all the time I'm not offended, I'm amused. I expect to be married and maybe children w/n the next two years or so. But if I don't don't get your panties all riled up in a bunch, because then they'll get all messed, up and you know a woman can never have enough panties.

Live from LA, this is P reporting to you from K-PAT FM, the Pattyopolis Network.

Breaking News: Supa wants to see the most recent shoes that I've purchased. Here they are. . .