Monday, February 06, 2006

A Letter from the Family Stone. . .Er, Addict

Guess who wrote my mother a letter?! (Drumroll, please!) The Family Stone. As previously mentioned in another post, this woman has ruined her life, and traumatized her children. Here is a copy of the letter for you to read.

She is currently in the Las Vegas Clark County Detention Center for some unknown offense. Our guess is solicitation.

You may wonder - why are you posting? For anyone who deals with someone like this, no explanation is needed.

Blue is her text - Red is my comments: (Don't worry about laughing at my comments or the letter, I did, too).

Hello Mom, thanks so much for the letter, I appreciate it so very much. You just don't understand how it feels to receive mail in jail. I was ashamed to tell you because I didn't think you would accept me. (Why not, you always tell her when you are in jail, what's different now? Plus, is being in jail different from abandoning your children 3+ years ago??)

Those pictures are beautiful and it really helped me tremendously, because it is very boring in here. (My mother sent her some pictures, letting her know that everybody was there at Christmas except for her-I didn't really agree with that, my mother thinks that guilt trips are going to bring her back, in June it will be four years she hasn't seen her children, what does she think a picture will do. As for my sister, what the heasy is she talking about very boring in here, she acts like she is away at Summer Camp!) Thanks so much!

As for my children, I wrote them and I know they haven't seen me and I know they hurt but never doubt that I love them and think about them every day. I'm not actually in the situation to have them in my life; (I don't know quite what she means by have them, their father won't give up custody over his dead body after everything she's done) it's going to take some time but I'm going to work it out. (????)

Mom, please stand by me, because I've never really had a close bond with you, (Brakes screeching - SCCCHHH! Bold Face LIE!) that's what I know how Monique (her 15 year old daughter, who is affected the most - She has a 21 year old son that lives with my dad who she doesn't even speak of. She had custody of him until he was five. I had him from 5-7, his father had him from 7-13 and my dad took him after that) feels, and the rest of them. (Everyone has issues with their parents, but overall, I think that she has gotten more of her fair share of prodigal daughter treatment, and if you think that you quote/unquote "didn't have a close relationship with your mother", then why are you repeating the pattern? My kids are very important to me, I think about them everyday of my life, but you don't understand I went through some emotional stuff with Jimmie. (That's the children's father - they did have a very tumultuous relationship, but that's not the kids problem, fault, or concern).

Anyway, Mom, I don't know where to start. I don't even know if Jimmie would let me see them or be with them. (BOLD FACE LIE. The times she did come to see them, or called, he has let her talk/see them each, and every time) I'm very confused, really, I am! You were right, this is Sin City! (My mother's conservative and everything shocks her, and that's what she calls Las Vegas. But then again, she calls all drugs "Dope" "That Stuff", "Hair-On", she calls STD's "VD", and she calls Diabetes "Suga", so, you get the point)

I love you mom, and I miss you very much.

(NOW, we getting down to tha nitty-gritty. Ah, there's the rub. . .) Please mom, put some money on my books, I really need hygiene more than anything. (They don't supply personal hygiene products in the pokey?? - By the way, she told my auntie that she needed $$$ for food because she was starving to death, what my sister really wants is cigarettes and treats) "Money Order Only" Made Payable to Inmate Trust Fun. Put my name and ID on the money order, and please, please send my birth certificate (WTF?? Okay, first things first, this BC is a never ending saga for her. One, why does she need her birth certificate RIGHT NOW?!? Two, my mother has sent it to her a minimum of three times, I myself, even dropped it off to her while I was in Vegas at the little establishment or whatever she was staying at. I walked up there with my male friend, who had a shank, and I had a baseball bat, but she didn't answer the door I think she saw me, but I left it with the manager).

Love your daughter,
The Family Stone

PS: I haven't told the children I'm in Jail, okay? Don't tell them. (Who does she think my mother is, the town crier?)

The problem I am having with that my sister lacks accountability. She doesn't apologize for her behaviors, doesn't ask how my parents or anyone else is doing, doesn't have a game plan, it's just ridiculous.

I haven't decided if I am going to write her or not. Because of this, I do not speak with her at all.

Should I or Shouldn't I? And if, so, any suggestions? I am not trying to give her a guilt trip, but pretty much, I don't want to hear anything she has to say unless she has made a demonstrated effort to change. This is fifteen years in the making, y'all.

By the way, this has nothing to do with my Christian values. The Bible talks about cutting folks off if they don't' "ack" right.

Live from LA, this is P-Town, reporting to you from KPAT - FM, the Pattyopolis Network.

16 comments:

Dee said...

you just gotta do what you gotta do!!! One your mom will have had enough!!!! Theres one in every family..........my family has a couple.....

mrs.tj said...

in my opinion you should write her. Even if it is just to let her know how angry you are with her.
She is family and I kinda think people should get 2nd, 3rd, chances. HA!
Holla!

Msnhim said...

Like Dee said "there is one in every family" but sometimes you just get feed up..

P said...

Dee: I'm feeling you. As you know from the previous blog, this chick has done EVERYTHING you can imaging. So she can just count me out until she demonstrates that she wants to do better, and she has never done that for a long period of time.

Mrs. TJ: 2nd and 3rds were done about ten years ago, my sister is on chance 1000 with my mom and dad. My father's wife died about three months ago and she keeps writing my dad asking him to bail her out, hasn't asked about his wife, ONCE!

MSNHIM: Girl, she is off the hook, my sister is the kind of person, you literally do NOT want her to know where you live. You remember on Soul Food the Movie, when the cousin came home, and everybody was looking at her crazy and was like "Uh, oh, what she want". THAT'S MY SISTER!

Lāā said...

You should write her and be honest about your feelings. My aunt was kinda in the same predicament but she would steal, beg, borrow from us. She had so many other beautiful qualities. Because of her lifestyle I stopped associating with her and then she died. I still regret not talking to her and sharing my feelings.

P said...

Laalaa: I might do that and be done with it, until, like I said, she makes a demonstrated effort to change.

This chick has stolen from me.
She has broke out windows.
Tried to hit my parents.
Stolen my jewelry, clothes, etc.
Stolen my checks, and well, I can go on and on with that.
Been fired from county and government jobs.
Has tried to spit on me. (I rolled up the window in time and she missed, but not the window - EEW)
Has lied, lied, lied.
Left her three month old daughter (now 15) on my mother's doorstep talking about 'handle it'.

African girl, American world said...

Yeah seems like she's still got her own agenda going. Since this is reflection time (pookie) then she should at least write her kids a letter.

Has she gone the rehab route before?

YouToldHarpoTaBeatMe said...

Lemme guess, if her kids sent her money, would she bother to call or write them on a regular basis? Sounds like Sister Girl is the travel agent of guilt trips. It ain't Momma fault she's on lockdown.

Got me a relative like that too. My mom thinks that child is the best invention since pockets, and society has him in the pokie, and despite my Uncle paying for a top notch defense attorney, the gun powder was STILL on the boy's hands.

Gotta love those letters tho.

P said...

Mwabi:

She writes her kids these strange one page letters, talking about how much fun she is having in Vegas (like she is on vacation), and that she has a boyfriend (which may or may not be a PIMP, I wouldn't know), she does it occassionally, but she doesn't write them all the time. Not hardly.

As for the Family Stone, to my memory, she has been the '12 Step' route, at least three times, with the first two her ditching the place after about three days. The last one, I think was court mandated and she stayed in for a few years. That was the longest time she stayed clean (about 4 years) that was right before she jumped ship again.

As for 12 Steps, I've prolly expressed how I feel about those. Those are structures, contained environments that don't provide real life ways of escape. Doesn't mean it can't be done, because many have. But for those who have succeeded, it's been because of their heart change, coupled WITH what the 12 steps have offered. If someone is going because it's court ordered, or because they don't have anywhere to go, chances are they are going to reoffend.

If I sound a little sterile, it's because 1) my major was criminal justice, and I'm all on this stuff, and 2), she has run the gamut of excuses.

Harpo:

Thanks for making me laugh. . .

And I must admit, the letters are "Absolutely Ridiculous"

"N" Search of Ecstasy said...

I agree w/Dee, there is at least one in every family and mine has a couple.

I think that you should write to her to, just get everything out in the open and get it off your chest. It will make you feel better; at least I hope that it will. This is a difficult situation. I can’t imagine if it were one of my sisters. I would be very angry and hurt.

I hope you can work everything out.

Carmell said...

i don't know. she seems to be the type of person that no matter how much you show her how angry you are its all about her and won't be phased by it cause she reall could care less... i think i would write just because it would seem not worth the time and effort. or if you want to be stank about it just talk about yourself and great you are doing and how beautiful her kids are doing without her... ok that was cruel...

Carmell said...

i mean wouldn't write.

i have had a few of them in my family...and when they are out i just ask how long are ya'll visiting? cause you know theya re going back sooner or later...sad reality

Anonymous said...

Well this is sad story, but it seems to be told everyday in every family. I know I am basically repeating what everyone else is saying, but it is true. What else can you say. These people are everywhere and spitting the same old game to anyone that will listen. I have heard all the stories myself and it is comical and sad all at the same time. The letter did not even really seem to be that apologetic. It was just kind of like "uh, I know I fucked up and hey, by the way, can you send me some money." It was just poor, she is so fucked up, she can't even take an introspective look at her life...sad sad sad. But hey once again they are everywhere and they will continue with their shameful ways. To answer your question, I would write her back, but not send her birth certificate. Send her some pocket change and be done with the heffa. Well that is my advice.

Brian

That Girl Tam said...

Hmm...this is a hard one...and I've actually thought about this for a minute. Remember what I always tell you?? Sometimes you gotta love folks from a distance...and in this case - love her ass from a zillion miles and heartaches away...ya feel me??

In my opinion, I think writing her a letter and expressing ALL OF YOUR FEELINGS (since she said she likes mail) would do best. Money on her books? No...Umm...I don't think so honey. Birth Certificate? Ummm...don't you think you've done enough??

She still fails to realize (kinda like someone else I know) HER role in the outcome of her life and her CHILDREN'S lives. People cannot simply continue to sweep shit under the rug for her. It would be a HUGE disservice to her to allow her to use yall as a crutch (sound familiar?). Everytime we talk about her, I see the anger in your eyes and I know that it pains you to have to deal with it...

WRITE THE LETTER...and like "L", send her off with love, happiness and peace of mind...the rest is up to her.

Anonymous said...

P,
I will include my 2 cents in this comment barrage because our post hits me in my heart.

The Family Stone has had you folks to enable her descent all these years. Folks like her need jail and discipline to remind them that they have boundaries.

Mothers and fathers sometimes think that they can love the manipulation out of someone, but they never can. The Fam Stone still hasn't hit rock bottom despite the fact she is incarcerated. That is scary. Y'all have some more drama in store with that sister.

Rock, rock on.

http://www.dallaspenn.com

P said...

Dallas:

I washed my hands of her a long time ago. That's that neverending parent love that keeps it moving from the perspective of my parents. I've told them, but I'm not going to waste my voice on them anymore, either.

I was more wondering to write or not to write (not for her, but for me getting some stuff off my chest), that was the question.

Thank you, and I know that most folks (unfortunately, know how that is)