Thursday, March 23, 2006

The One That Got Away. . .

Yep.

I've had a few. And I've also been targeted as 'the one who got away'. BUT THIS ONE WAS A DOOZY. . .Maybe this is in God's design, but I know, that my foolishness accounted for a lot of it. As a result, I lost a solid, good man, who is solid gold to this day.

How I met him

When I was in junior college, a girlfriend of mines was 'talking' (what y'all know about that old school word, huh?) to another guy, and he had a friend (you know how that was back in the day). So, I readily went to meet him.

Boy was I impressed. He was tall, very attractive, well built, had a house, a decent car, no children, and he was only 25 years old! He worked for a major beverage manufacturer, and, me being me, I was like "Oh, you drive their trucks or something?" And he said, "No, dear, I'm in management". I was like oh.

"Kevin" would cook dinner for me, invite me over, and take me out. When I would drive over in my 1981 Toyota Cressida. . . Sidebar: Don't trip, I bought the car when it was nine years old you couldn't tell me Nathan in that). Sidebar: I really did think I was supa cute in my little automatic seatbelt Toyota Cressida, with my Guy, En Vogue, Troop, and Karyn White tapes in my car. Oh, my GOD, and I had a feather in my hair, too! Talk about being a freak.

Back to the lecture at hand: So, I would come over in my car, he would leave me in his house, come back, and would have filled up my gas tank for me. He was never fresh with me, and was always very respectful. . .Sometimes we would go to his house and watch American Gladiators, sometimes we would go out to the Red Onion (this is some back in the day Cali stuff FYI), and other times we would just hang out on the phone. . . Or for at least as long as I would let him.

What Went Wrong

Well, what do you THINK went wrong? At that time, my nose was wide open for this other fool I had met at the 3rd annual Soul Train Music Awards (this was when Lutha, Patti, and Dionne Warwick were hosting). I got a job as security through a friend of mines. My little job was supposed to be guarding Patti and Dionne's dressing room. (Like what is my unarmed a$$ supposed to do if somebody really tried to do something). Girl, so anyway, it was just a way to be at the awards show. I met him there. I was 'sprung' (nuther old school term) on him, and he was the first guy that I really did pretty much everything that allows me to make it a blockbuster night NOW! But of course, he was a playa. I'm sitting at home waiting on his calls, and of course, while waiting, I'm spending my time talking to "Kevin".

Sometimes my phone would click and it would be dude, and I would never click back to Kevin. I would go over his house and sit waaayyy on the other side of the couch just looking like a deer in headlights. Don't get me wrong; if you don't like someone, you don't like them. But that wasn't the issue. I liked him, I just liked the fool more. . .

Eventually, he got sick of the clicking over and not coming back. The coming over and shrinking to the other side of the couch, and just not being who I should have been. Can I chalk it up to age. . .Sure. But I won't. I take full on responsibility for being rude to him. He really like-ded-ded me, yanno?

Where He Is Now

I was reading about the coca cola strike one day in the LA times, and I saw where a manager was on the front lines, talking to the workers.

One guess as to who the manager was. . .

I nearly keeled over and broke my french manicured acrylic nails in the process. I don't even bite my nails and I had my hands in my mouth. I called my friend who works in Jury Services (Hey, supa, you know her, don'tcha?) and gave her his first and last name (I had forgotten his last name until I saw it in the paper. . .

This fool was still in the same house!

Me being me, I'm thinking "Wow, I could have gotten additions on the house at this point, been married ten plus years, maybe punched out a few kids, gotten a home equity line of credit on the house, and purchased more property, etc" (on his sheeat, mind you. . .)

Oh. . .Yeah, there were two other women living in the household, too, I found out. Looks like that's who he put as an emergency contact. Minor details. One had the same last name as him, and one didn't. So I deduced.

1. One maybe was his mother.
2. One was either his wife or girlfriend, who he is probably banging well, on a daily basis, because she comes home and is a good woman to him.

The good woman that I was not, at least not at that time.

Oh, well, such is life. If 'if's were fifths, we'd all be drunk. Yeah, I know that, too. But I do wonder 'what if?'

Ever been in a similar situation? Has anyone ever told you that you were the 'One Who Got Away?"

25 comments:

Msnhim said...

Yes and yes. I recently bump into him and we had a long coversation. Of course the "what if's" always come up? Unfortunatly theres nothing that can be done now but it felt good to take that trip down memory lane.

P said...

Yep.

When I found out he was still staying where he was staying, of course you knew what ran through my mind.

BUT

I would never do that. If we were destined to be together we either would have been, or the possibility and opportunity would come up.

(Not to mention that he would think that I was a pure-d psycho to write him a letter out the blue)

Not to mention that his girl/wife, whoever, would rightfully hoo-bang on me.

My biggest regret is the way I treated him, more than anything. He didn't deserve that.

But he DID get me hooked on that TV Show American Gladiators, though. . .

I also watched 'A Motown Christmas over there, too.'

Peace said...

OMG - I was actually going to post on this, but haven't had enough time/energy - PLUS I would never want my man to accidentally stumble upon it!! A guy that I dated a few years back JUST called me like 4 days ago, I was the one who got away from him so he was just basking in self pity. He has a LOT of money and is fine and has a BEAUTIFUL body so I started thinking all these "what if" scenarios... I finally snapped out of it when my boyfriend came home. There is a reason that I'm not with the ex... and I have a good man now and I'm just going to (try to) leave it at that!

T. Cas said...

Been there, done that. I've been looked at as the one who got away a couple of times, but you have to realize in most cases there is a good reason why you arent together now.

P said...

To all:

Yes, I full on understand that there is a reason that people are not together.

But as you know, you can't help but wonder. . .

What if. . .

T, what types of testosterone are you leaving with the ladies. You must have them swooning if the women keep flocking back.

You must be boutit, boutit

African girl, American world said...

ok P you are seriously nervouses me with all this checking up on people...damn! what you could do if you had actual SS#'s nervouses me even more!!!!!

jen said...

So funny you write this. My 'what if' guy lives the town over from me and I was so bored out of my mind on Saturday that I actually (hanging my head) drove by his house and looked in the window.
I was pleasantly suprised that his vehicles were still the only ones in the driveway. But I saw someone through the window I hope to go it wasn't him cause this guy was really *so cute* and the guy I saw through the window looked like a hippy/mountain man. I think/hope it was one of his friends. I still think quite a bit about him 2 years later.
I did all the same shit you did, I would sit in the only chair in his living room so he couldn't make a move on the couch, etc. I really did like him a lot, but I fucked it up. It's not like I could call him now and be all, 'Hey, remember me, from 2 years ago?'
Damn though, he was so cute, and he smelled good, and he was a good kisser. I should've taken advantage of the situation and at least gotten some ass, but I was scared!!

P said...

@ Mwabi:

My hearts desire is to be a Private Investigator.

I'm not kidding.

T. Cas said...

P - I wouldn't say its the testosterone, I think it's the nice guy thing. Or nostalgia or something.

Lāā said...

I posted about this a couple of months ago and I have come to the conclusion that if it's meant to be then it will.

I still wonder if...

Unsaid said...

i was the one who got away before. the thing is the dude played me when i was a nice girl. when he realized that i was the one who got away and we reconnected...i was in my bad girl stage. needless to say...i played him hard in return. you have to be careful going back to that one who got away sometimes, they might not have as much regard for your feelings as they used to.

for the record, i'm way out of my bad girl stage :)

Cocoa Girl said...

"Well, what do you THINK went wrong? At that time, my nose was wide open for this other fool."

Isn't that what always happens?!?!

BTW, I haven't had one get away, meaning that I haven't yet met one that I'd like to keep (sniffle, sniffle:(

That Girl Tam said...

Hey...yall just don't KNOW...P is HELLA connected and will hunt yo ass down if the proper tools are laid before her! HAHAHAHA definitely worse than the IRS!

That "fool" you were diggin on more wouldn't be "R" would it?

That Girl Tam said...

Oh...I have been the one that got away for a FEW people...it just wasn't meant to be...

P said...

Tam. . .

You think you are so hot on the skreets. . .

You were the one who got away. . .HA!

Yeah, I will track you a$$ dizzown.

But funny, when folks wanna know something they trying to call me on my celly - cell. . .

Dee said...

aaawww cute story!!!!

I don't have one cause I was married 123,455,789 years!!! I was single for 2 minutes and hooked up with the LIAR for 2 years..........dated a bunch of wanksters and a few whack dudes then the stalker!!!!

oohh I need to get back out there..........LOL

Dee said...

o.k did you say "hoo-bang"???? I have not heard that in 4ever!!!!

You crak me up with the old school slang..........I.LOVE.IT!!!!

Carmell said...

dman damn damn!!!!!!!!!!!
Bobby was the one who got away.... oh well

muffin said...

"1. One maybe was his mother.
2. One was either his wife or girlfriend, who he is probably banging well, on a daily basis, because she comes home and is a good woman to him."


girl you sound like me! one time i met this dude who said his birthday was in june and when he took me to "his" car, his tag was NOV (you have to renew your tag on your bday here in GA). anyways i'm thinkin to myself this fool thinks i'm dumb or somethin? this ain't even his car. loser! lol

btw i love your blog it's hot!

Me said...

Girl - I almost lost the man I got now fuckign with a stupid ex that I thought I lovded.. thank God I woke up in time..

Many men have lost me and call me the one who got away ..

I guess everything happens for a reason

Anonymous said...

I'm a regular reader , but I must post this on the Anon tip.... I was told by my ex that I was the one that got away and I feel that he was too. He really was my "soulmate", as like me as I could imagine anyone to be, we were also the same sign and though that isn't always a good thing, with us, it was. It could be why his mother even commented ALLL.THE.DAYUM.TIME that "you two are soooooo alike it's not even funny" or she would say "you are just like my child". Our relationship started and ended all for naught. I met him when he was just ABOUT TO ask his then wife (of 2 years) for a divorce (yeah you can see where this is going) but the spark was strong between us. He asked his wife for a divorce LITERALLY 2 weeks after we met (so in my mind I was like "Hmmm... he was ALREADY done with the relationship BEFORE ME, sooooo (in my teeny weeny mind) that means that I'll just get to know him , take it slow and we'll see, cuz I really like him".

Hmmph. Well, (and I do NOT believe that he was with me...for three years no less....as a rebound) he never got over the fact that he "gave her his all....more than ANY OTHER WOMAN< EVER and she fucked me over". He never had the chance to heal after his divorce because I was ....well..... there.......After three years, I didn't even have the title "girlfriend" because he was sooo scared to "officially" commit in words (though errrry'body knew who and what I was to him and basically probably never even knew that he never "officially" validated that I was "his woman". You see, he felt defeated after his marriage ended (i can understand that totally) and still needed validation from other and extra healing that he never had a CHANCE to do because we were "together"...whatever that means.

So, why do I feel that he was the one who got away? Because it is my SINCERE belief that we were as alike, compatible and COMPLIMENTARY as two people can be. I mean, likes, dislikes, music, religion, money, he was even the type of man that wasn't too particluar (take it or leave it ) about sports (which is soooooooo lovely cause I HATE sports), our styles were identical, future plans,etc. but .....he didn't have time to heal and we couldn't pry ourselves apart to GIVE him that time. I believe had I come around at "another" time and "another" place, we would be together..... I really do. I got tired of arguing about "when you gon officially call me yo girlfriend" and decided to be out.
And even though I am now married, I think about him quite often...... we live in the same small city and I was loved so by his family that if I am out with and see one of them, my husband (who is jealous beyond belief due to the intensity of my past with this ex of mine...yeah shame on my ass for telling him the "TOTAL truth" about the ex) is just disgusted (yes, I believe HE too can feel that me & my ex were WAAAY more symbiotic than he and I)and we usually end up arguing which then leads me to "reminisce" on how it coulda been......if only. But like that saying you posted goes "if if's were fifths......."

That Girl Tam said...

Wow @ anonymous...

Ok, you know we all read the same peep's shit...so you know I'm over here trying to figure out who you are (based on your writing style)! HAHAHAHA...no for real...that's a deep story. I feel for you and can only imagine the hell it must cause between you and your husband...been there, done that (and still go thru it every now and then).

Best of luck...

Torrance Stephens bka All-Mi-T said...

hey as long as u can retain the memory u got something

nikki said...

i've been the one that got away a couple of times, most recently with a guy who i've always thought of as a good friend. he told me he's been wanting to get with me since i first went away to college...uh, a long time ago.

i was flattered of course, but can i really be the one who 'got away' when we were never together? i think that's more about 'what might have been'.

anyway, i can't say i've met the one that got away yet, though. frankly, i've never felt that kind of connection with someone to the point where i'd feel that way.

Jaimie said...

You are so funny. I forgot about some of those old skool terms "talking" and "sprung". Ha!

I've been told I was the one that got away. By just about every guy that was an asshole to me, then felt guilty about it later. Ha, ha fools!