Nominees for the Dumb Azz Mofo Award

Today, ladies and gentleman, we will be taking nominations in the category of the dumb azz M.O.F.O. (previously known as mutha fucka) awards. These awards are not gender specific, and showcase and profile those in our community who have made a fool of themselves in the art of life. M.O.F.O. Stands for Most Outstanding Foolishness Overall.

I nominate my friend, "Greg Mathers" (The names have been changed to protect the guilty)

Greg is an attractive, six three, two twenty (with dimples - which I would rather call indentations) in his face. He is college educated, who 'had' a six figure income. (More to come on that)

Greg has one child by his ex-wife, Greg Junior, whom he adores. Greg is in love with 'Victoria' his 'girlfriend' of the past five years.

Greg works in the mortgage industry. Victoria is 34 and just started working when she was 28 years old and this is why.

- From 17 to 22 she was going out with what we called back in the day, someone who slangs.
- From 22 to 28 she went out with a professional football player.

Then she gets with Greg. Over the past five years, Greg has given her everything she wanted. And when I say everything, I.DO.MEAN.EVERYTHING.

- Designer Purses
- Shoes
- Trips
- Paid Off her Debts - When his mother had a ten year old Saturn that was giving her problems.
- Co-Signed for her a Car
- Cooked and Cleaned (she doesn't do either)
- Went shopping with and for her
- Paid for her hair and nails
- Bought her a 15K wedding ring and mounted it for another 5K.****

To that you say "What's wrong with that?" I'll reserve my personal feeling for that later.

Hell, no, I'm not going to reserve my feeling for later this is my sheeat right here. Technically, you don't do that much for ANYONE that is not your wedding wife/husband, whateva.

So, again, to that you say "What's wrong with getting hooked up?" Oh, nothing, except for the fact that. . .

- Victoria talks to him any kind of way
- She still maintained what she called a 'friendship' with the football player
- Her pendulum swung in both directions
- She would keep males as 'females' in her phone directory in cell phone (oldest trick in the cell phone book. . .er, at least that's what somebody told me).

Over a year ago, she took a job with his mortgage company with him. She met a guy, 'Evans', on her team (an associate of Greg's), and to make a long story short, what I'll do it tell you what she said or did (in Purple), how Greg responded (in blue), and what was the subsequent result.

"Evans likes me. He buys me coffee every day, He's my friend"
"He is a predator, leave him alone"
Truth: They both are starting to have feeling for each other.

"There is nothing wrong with us being friends, you are too jealous"
" I trust that you will end this relationship and friendship, or whatever you want to call it"
Truth: They talk on the phone, every night, at least through 1 am on a cell phone that Greg pays for.

"We are just friends, we talk on the phone about different things"
"Not on my phone you won't"
Truth: They start talking on the house phone, that is also in Greg's name

"He only came by my new place because he was in the neighborhood"
"He is a predator, don't you get it?"
TRUTH: Greg sees them, on more than one occasion driving down the street together.

"Oh, we just went out to dinner, no big deal"
"For what, why would you take him, If I can take you?"
TRUTH: She tells Greg that she needs some space.

Exit, stage left. Greg leaves his six figure income job of three years because he can't handle the stress of being around 'Evans the predator' to go to another company, where he doesn't know anything about the commission structure. Furthermore, he ends up crashing and burning for the next four months, going into debt, and running into a lot of financial problems.

Back to the story.

"The rubber came off"
"He is so irresponsible, he got YOU pregnant. See how much of a predator he is." You thought he was going to be your savior. He just wants to be me"
"I want you in the delivery room, not him"
"You should. He can just look through the window. You shouldn't invite him in.
"He told me he has been thinking of ways to kill me"
"That's what you get for thinking that he was going to be your savior"

TRUTH: The hell with what she says, she was raw-dogging it from day one. She was at least one month pregnant when he left his job. She talked to Greg through her eighth month, and then in her ninth month, stopped talking to him. I have a co-worker that I work with that knows her indirectly; she never stopped being with Evans and even went to Vegas with him a few times while all of them were still working at the company. The baby was born two weeks ago, and she hasn't talked to Greg for over a month, considering she stopped working, and Evans has been kicking her down.

Now, I can't knock her hustle. Keep in mind, none of this can happen without him co-signing on all of this. This is why he is has been identified as the M.O.F.O of the year.

In addition: Greg found hotel receipts. Victoria told him that she rented the hotel room for friends. Victoria told him she was going to her girlfriends house to hang out for the weekend. Greg told ME "Well, all of her friends are bi, and mess around with each other. . . Well, everyone except for HER, she doesn't DO that, maybe back in the day she did dirt with them, but she is not like that anymore".

Greg totally blames Evans. He says that Evans wants to be him and wants everything that he has.

Well, Greg, right now you don't have anything. You filed for bankruptcy, had to borrow some money from your homies, and now, you are working in a group home, as well as doing valet parking at the airport on the weekends.

****Note re: 20K ring. The jeweler told Greg that he would buy it back from him, (less ten percent)

Greg won't sell it. He.Wont.Sell.It.

This is K-PAT FM's official submission and nomination for the M.O.F.O awards.

Any nominations? Do you concur?