Thank you

Thank you for representing!

Coretta Scott King (1927-2006)

Dr. Martin Luther King (1929-1968)

See Link for More Pictures of the Life and Legacy:

Coretta Scott King

Weekend Roundup

I really had a good and productive weekend for once. Sometimes, you plan things on the weekend, and some things get done, others issues get sidetracked, and some things do not get accomplished at all. Well, I did everything I wanted to do over the weekend.

On Friday, I got the sweetest message from my sweetie. It said “I am here for you how you need me. I know that you know I love you but my love is different and you know that. We can’t not be in each others lives. I can’t explain how I love you only that you are me and I am you and It’s beyond passion, it’s inescapable. Do you understand that? Do you miss me, love? Have a good day at work." Yah, we stay 100 miles away from each other so it gets kind of complicated. He sent that message because he felt me withdrawing. I've got to stop doing that. Personally at this point I don't know how much longer this is going to last but I'm not going to complain in the interim.

On Saturday morning, I got up and washed my truck. This is a big deal for me. Many people are under the impression that because I am single with no kids, I have all the time in the world. I really don't I can get into that in more detail later, but not now. After that, I picked up Tam so we could go downtown to the Bridal Expo at the Los Angeles Convention Center. We went on the subway. We call this one the blue line but we have many based on the direction/location they take you (blue, green, red, gold) Of course, because I don't normally take public transportation I look like a white woman in the middle of Watts in terms of how unfamiliar everything looked. I didn't even know where to start in terms of getting my ticket. Note to New Yorkers: Nothing against public transportation, It's just not the norm in Southern California. Furthermore, I'm not so bourgeouis where I didn't take it I took it from Junior High all the way through my first year of college.

But anyway, I had to be instructed by Tam to put my ticket back in my wallet I was looking at it like it was a shiny new penny. She told me that the subways went on the honor/merit system (again if this sounds like a no brainer, I DON'T TAKE PUBLIC TRANSPORTATION, so I didn't know), and I just need to keep it and present it on demand if necessary. (Sidebar: Several years ago I had a warrant for my arrest for 'fare evasion on the blue line' - turns out it was my sister who gave my name instead of hers - The same sister mentioned in the previous Family Stone blog).

So, when we get on the subway Tam said I looked like a tourist because I kept my purse on my lap and was craning my neck around looking at everyone. I soon relaxed and we had a good ride. The people on the train are a different breed. You can smell it in the air. I don't mean socioeconomic, I mean like they have just got another subculture going on that we don't know anything about.

As she said, went to CPK because both of us were starving like Marvin (when is the last time you heard THAT).

After that, we arrived (after much fanfare because we weren't sure WHERE the bridal show was at the Big A$$ convention center), we were approached by the Mary Kay lady. I felt like it was Saturday morning, at 8:00 am and the Jehovah's Witness was knocking at the door. Again, as she mentioned, no offense to the side hustle, but it's something about the whole Pre-Paid Legal, Primeamerica, Cookie Lee, Mary Kay thing where you can smell them a mile away.

Okay, okay let me finish, so we went into the expo (Tam paid my way in, I forgot to ask you, but why DID you pay my way in, anyway?). Girl, y'all we were like kids in a candy store. You have to love this kind of stuff to understand why being around all this stuff made me sexually aroused. Oh, my goodness, it was one of those "you had to be there" moments to understand. Just a delicious delicacy of all things bridal. I truly felt loved and wanted. HAHA!

There were a select few folks there that could have stepped up their game a bit. I ain't knocking a hustle, but if you are going to show up to the biggest bridal expo for the year, you are going to have to have more than flyers and looking around like a deer in headlights. It's very competitive and those types of places draw people who mean business with their weddings, and will flock to what is the most aestetically pleasing to them. So smiling and looking is not going to cut it at the bridal show. It's just not.

After we were all stimulated and starry eyed from the expo, we went back to the station and I saw that homeless lady that Tam mentioned in her blog, you know the one that only asks for money from women? I saw her! She was talking (to herself), and I mean, I was almost compelled to join in the conversation she was so animated with her sheeat. She didn't get on our part of the train, though. I was midly disappointed.

Neither of us felt like going home because after the foreplay we wanted a little more titillation so we went to the Fabric barn and felt up some supplies and what not. After that our insatiable appetites landed us at Joann Fabric and up some Fabric. She bought something to make for Justin X, myself, and my mom. I forgot to take pictures (guess I didn't get everything done). Everything came out lovely. Will have pics (I hate the word pics) tomorrow.

Yesterday, I went to church, and then went home, fake cooked and it was good, too. Fake cooked is when I can do something that doesn't take much effort, but doesn't taste processed, or fast food-y. I made orange chicken from Trader Joe's and some rice and green beans.

Sunday evening, Tam and I had a pretty good talk. It was about religion. It was kind of the 'elephant in the room' conversation that we had never talked about. I explained some issues that she concurred with, and she did the same. It was good. It's not something we talk about much because our systems are vastly different, and I think it was an important step in our friendship. But it was a good conversation.

Did I tell you I had a great time on the blue line?

Getting High On Your Own Supply

To Play or Not to Play: That is the question? There are two schools of thought when it comes to this.

To take the Red Pill:

One must firmly believe that this is the best way to get to know your own body and your own needs, and the many different ways you can orgasm. It allows you to explore the unknown, in order to explore the many possibilities that are available to you in your love canal. Getting high on your own supply talks can be used as a solitary form of entertainment (A good friend of mines and I call it extracurricular activities), it can be used in conjunction with your home theatre, making it a blockbuster night, or with your significant other, enhancing and enveloping the experience, coming (no pun intended) full circle into knowing yourself and what you like. Some use it as a trigger to get things jumpin before the festivities begin. This is often, too, the method of choice of people that are opting to remain celibate for any number of reasons (spiritual, professionally, personally, out of force), fill in the blank.

To Take the Blue Pill:

Some would call this being inhibited. Others would call it staying in your comfort zone. Others would say that getting high on your own supply only diminished the role of the person that is there to make it happen, and further complicates any relations you have with them. If you are constantly cooking in your own kitchen and then someone wants to cook for you, whose dinner will you prefer? Will you complain about the meat selections and how they were cooked? Also, there are others who believe their significant other would be intimidated by such acts, believing that they need supplemental pleasures in order to achieve the desired results. There are others that, considers it dirty, inappropriate, and unnecessary (Or at least have been told this either by family or peers) There are others, due to spiritual enlightment as well, believes this causes and drives the desires that should be contained and explored in a marital type of setting, and therefore, don't necessary disagree with the function of getting high on your own supply, but would rather use it in the confines of wedded bliss.

So, in all of that, what are your thoughts? You can post as anonymous if you want (hehe) I can tell you know, I have friends in the Red Pill society, and those in the blue pill society. I, too am a member (I will refrain from mentioning which association I belong to, for neutrality purposes).

Live, from Los Angeles, this is P reporting to you from KPAT-FM, the Pattyopolis Network. Back to you, blogspot.

Popozao

Listen to Kevin Federline's "Popozao" dropped on 01/2006, right here on KPAT - FM, the Pattyopolis Network!

A Day in The Life Of HR

I'm on one today.

First off, let me tell you that I work in Human Resources for a major wireless provider. I have worked in this profession for 5.5 years. My major was Criminal Justice and I don't know how I got here but I have been trying to escape for at least two. I know most of the time I am asking y'all about abstract questions and you don't know much about what I do, but you are about to find out some do's and dont's in working with local HR:

This is NOT for y'all because I know how you treat your local HR unit, right? Right. This is only for the stragglers that need to know the do's and dont's of working with another department, which is all that HR is. . .

Your local HR unit cares for your health and welfare benefits. We are a department just like any other with issues, problems and concerns that have to be addressed. We are there to respond to the legitimate needs of employees, as well as protect the asset and reputation of the company. We understand that generally, by the time you come to us, it's not to say hi, or even thank you, but because there is a problem.

• We do not keep up with birthdays just for you. We prolly don't care.
• We are not the policy police. We only explain the rules.
• We do not just have free tickets to Six Flags and Water World. Go to Ralphs and use your Ralphs club card for a discount.

With that said, here are a list of do's and dont's when dealing with your local HR.

DO:

Email or call them and let them know what the issue is. Provide them with at least a contact number, your employee number and/or your social. We are obligated to research and validate and reconstruct any issue that may be going on with you and respond as soon as administratively possible. And we DO care. Telling us call "ASAP" means nothing. Or calling saying "Did you get my email?." Who the hell is this?

Provide them with a summation of what you want, and do not include in the subject line "Help", or "Urgent!". That is no value to you or I, and could possibly add a delay on to the response time, because closed mouths don't get fed, and what will get answered first is the one with the most empirical data attached.

Allow for a reasonable response time to respond to your inquiry. Pay, health and medical will always be addressed first, followed by any other incidentals. You not getting along with your manager is a personality conflict and should be resolved by meeting with your manager first. Telling us something at 10:51 and then emailing us 15 minutes later with "Any Word?" just won't cut it.

Do call us after your issue has been resolved/check received/benefits reinstated. You'll call us if you want something, but when it's resolved, we don't hear a thing. It's like my loaning money post.

Know that we can smell a fraudulent disability and/or workers compensation claim a mile away. If you are having attendance and performance issues and then all of a sudden you have a doctor's note putting you out on stress, believe me they will be investigated by an outside investigator before a claim will be approved/paid, so don't play. There are LEGITIMATE claims, and they should be treated as such. We're not interested in being names as a party in any class action lawsuits because we didn't do what we were supposed to do.

DON'T:

Do three different things for one issue: Send an email, follow up with a voice mail, and then come and hover over Human Resources desk. Do one, or the other, but hovering is not going to do anything. Anytime an employee has an issue, we can't say yes or no to anything without research and validation. I am not saying this doesn't suck, if something is wrong with your money, BUT, if you are telling me the overtime is not on your check, I'm not just going to say, okay, sure I'll give you ten hours, no questions asked. I have to.

1. Open up the payroll system.

2. Look up the week in question.

3. Contact your immediate supervisor to validate the overtime.

BECAUSE it could very well be that it is not supposed to show up on this employees payroll check.

4. Send a message to payroll

5. Get a response from payroll.

6. Get back to you.

That does not require you standing over me. Yes, I know it's about the $$ and if I was missing money that's how I would feel. But we are only the liasion. We are not writing the checks, and are not trying to Jew you out of your money; in fact, we want you go get paid properly so we can act proactively to keep clients in place, not reactively, putting out fires.

DO NOT, under any circumstances, think that cc'ing your supervisor and mines is going to get the issue resolved sooner. The record of your transaction with HR is your email and is what you should use to escalate. Cc'ing everyone except the Living God is only going to piss off your contact. And you are only clogging the immediate supervisor's email and then you have everyone else in the loop sending us emails. How long do you then think it is going to take to resolve your questions, eh?

If we don't have any more discounts to 24 Hour Fitness, we don't have anymore. Period. They have been down here for a month and now you want some of them. They are gone and I've got bigger fish to fry, okay.

Lack of planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on my part. If you had 30 days to enroll in your benefits and call from the emergency room on day 31 asking for an appeal for your benefits, I don't know what to tell you. If I asked you to change your address in the system a month ago, and your check went to the wrong address, and now you don't have your stub and/or payroll check, then a stop payment takes 24 hours to process. I don't make the rules.

Refrain from calling us because your panties and/or draws are in a bunch because you found out that so and so makes more money than you. You signed the dotted line on YOUR offer letter for $$$.$$, and they did for another dollar amount. You know what kind of precedent that would take if we gave in to whims and demands everytime somebody is not happy with their pay? It would be a mutiny up in this beeach. Hell I see folks payroll checks all the time and they make GRAND THEFT DOUGH, money I think (partially because of ego and partially because of fact) that I should be getting it too, but that's not what I signed on the dotted line for.

DO NOT threaten us with the union. Honey, the union does not supercede the laws of this company and/or state guidelines. The union is a contract with a list of benefits with a start and end date, as well as policies and procedures we must follow if in fact, they are NOT followed, either by management or employee. And funny how employees want to look in the union book for what they should get if it is a good thing, but when it comes to disciplinary procedures, no one wants to know anything. And I am NOT scuured of your steward I am six three in heels, shoo.

Little penny anne arguments with your co-workers, handle that on the schoolyard playground.

I know about disability, unemployment, workers compensation and final checks. You don't have to let me know "Per the contract, Per State law" Boo, the last place I want to be is in the labor commissioners office with some complaint that has been filed. You do your job and I will do mines. If you want to get into "Per state Law and Per the HR web site", then apply for a position in this department. Do I tell you how to work in Finance/Marketing/Customer Care, etc?

Don't shoot the messenger. Usually by the time we get the information, it's mandated by headquarters. Yes, the bonuses are lower this year; yes, there are layoffs, yes there are budget cuts. Sometimes the news is not so good. If you want some good news, go save some money on car insurance.

Update: If you treat your co-workers (which again, is what we are) with respect, we will do anything for you. (Well, almost anything, I might even smile, and Tam will tell you how hard that is to get done). If you try to throw me under the bus (see LaaLaa's comments regarding pissing us off), well, hell hath no fury. . .

Had to be said, enough said. Aah, feels good to get it off of my chest. As you know, my chest holds alot.

Love, Me

Where in the World is My Bluetooth?

Where is the World is My BlueTooth?

In the wireless-data communications world that I currently work in, bluetooth is a necessity. Not only for your professional communicaes (if in fact that is a word), but in your personal life. Wireless accessories are a must have in your personal and professional life, one of them being a bluetooth.

In my ever searching quest to find an employment opportunity that will allow me the lifestyle I can only enjoy now through my Wishlist on Google, I take off days here and there for job interviews that I believe are serious contenders for future employers.

So, one day I was awaiting a phone call from one of the employers. When the call came in and I answered, I realized I couldn't hear them very well. Initially, I believed that the bluetooth was the issue; I soon learned I had turned my volume down. In any case, I changed to handset mode, and snatched the bluetooth out of my ear.

Note to bluetooth users: If you switch to headset mode, that is only for one call. Needless to say, my phone rang again, and when I answered, I couldn't hear the person because the bluetooth had switched back on. So I was reaching around all in the truck while driving, blindly searching for the bluetooth accessory, to no avail. I turned the radio down because I could HEAR the person talking through bluetooth (hello. . .Helloooo!), but I couldn't get to it because I didn't know where it was. I pulled over, finally switched to headset and told them to keep talking, that I was going to put them back on bluetooth mode so that I could find the accessory for the ear.

I looked everywhere. In the ashtray, under the seat, under the matts, in the passenger seat, in my pockets, all the while hearing "Hello, Hellooo!". I had some bags in the car from some Target shopping, so I figured they may be in there. I didn't have time to keep looking. Considering I work for a wireless provider, I would have been able to get another one at a considerable discount.

Later on, I went to church to fold some bulletins. I usually talk on the phone when I do this (that night was no different), however, I was having some "my neck and my back" issues because of trying to cradle the phone and fold chuurch stuff at the same time. So, I hung up the phone.

There in lies the problem. Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego when you need her?

I was looking down ends of my hair, draped casually in front of me, and lo and behold what's nestled between the twins.

My bluetooth.

It was a surreal moment. In slow motion, without sound, I said "there's my bluetooth". Ladies and Gentleman at that time we were approaching the sixth hour that the bluetooth had been nestled within the comfort of my bosom.

Stop laughing.

Also, Iknowwhatyathinkin: Well, the answer is, I's got some cleavage, plus the bluetooth dropped down vertically, so, like I said, it just kind of laid nestled within the comforts of my breasts-ses-sses. I betcha you're thinking I still should have know, but you haven't seen the Ying Yang twins.

I did check to see if it still worked, though. It did.

Don't you love happy endings?

Live from LA, this is P reporting to you from KPAT FM, the Pattyopolis Network.

Thursday Throwback

Thursday Throwback


Long before I found other extracurricular activities to get into, and some of these, well before I turned 21, or 18, even, I was getting my TV watch on. I am actually doing this blog in part in honor of Mwabi, considering she is indeed, a fan of television so much. I am going to skip the regular, if I may, "Black Shows", (i.e, Cosby, Different World), for the most part because that was a given (again, for the most part) So, without further adieu, I would like to talk about the shows that gave me warm fuzzies. I loved them. And Still do.



New York Undercover

Created by Dick Wolfe (Law and Order), New York Undercover was a gritty detective show that followed the personal and professional lives of two officers, played by Micheal Delorenzo and Malik Yoba. They also had a 'Take No Prisoners' supervisor, played by Patty D'Arbanville. After the third season, I want to say, they added (with much chagrin, initially), a third partner, played by Lauren Velez. Remember how if you missed the beginning of the show, you were like "Dang, what happened?" But really, that wasn't often, cuz Mart-en & Living Single came on right before that. And you would always wait to see who was going to be the guest singer on there, playing at "Natalie's" ("ooh, girl, Mary J gone be on thare tonight") The show was deliciously entertaining, with everything from the close camraderie with the partners, to the touching relationship between Malik Yoba and his son. You cried when his on screen girlfriend, played by Michael Michele, was brutally murdered as she opened up the door to a bed of flowers. We were also equally miffed at the (Exit, Stage Right) death of Michael Delorenzo. That turned out to be a bust. Then they started replacing folks we won't get into the specifics, but when Tommy from Martin showed up on the show and we were supposed to believe THAT, that's when I knew the show had jumped the shark.

LA Law - Can't you hear the music, now (da, daaaa, da, da, daaaaaaa) What a show! What else can you say about it? Thursday at ten p.m. At that age, I wasn't old enought to do much else but watch. It is what made me equally fall in and out of love with law enforcement. With it's seedy and quirky subplots, and enough sordid escapades to make a teenager blush, this was the show - and the place to be, thursdays at ten. An instant classic. Plus, you were quasi amazed that Susan Dey was on anything else except for the Partridge Family. Iknowwhatchathinkin when you see that license plate. You remember when it used to slam down on the show.


Thirtysomething - This used to be my number one SPOT! I was FIXATED on this show for some reason, I was like seventeen or something when this came out. I partially imagined myself being like this (I'm not), living in an area like the lived in (I don't), and being in a family structure like that (Hell to the naw). I was sooo devastated when Peter died on there. What a plot twist. I was in junior college then and I was unable to concentrate. This show was the bomb.

Hart to Hart - Jonathan and Jennifer Hart. The show used to start off "This is Jonathan Hart, a self made millionaire. . .He's quite a guy". . .I could never figure out how they ended up getting in so many 'sitiations' as a couple. I mean, they were rich and wealthy, she had all the money she could ever want as well as flyaway hair that could give Farrah Fawcett-Majors, as she was called then, a run for her money. They always ended up being on some mystery/murder expedition. They were not even private eyes, but they managed to be super sleuths. The end result always ended with them kissing and making it all better. And they had a butler, Max, and a dog, Freeway.

Trapper John M.D. - I am sooo dating myself, I know.

Okay, I didn't really know what was going on with this show, I was only about nine, but I did have a crush on Gregory Harrison, who played Gonzo on the show. They almost made me wanna be a doctor but I never felt that type of urge. It was my first memory of a show, and I just thought that Trapper John was the cat's meow. I never figured out why Gonzo lived in a trailer on the hospital parking lot. Even as a kid, I was like 'If he's a doctor, can't he afford more?" But he was just a "G" like that.

Miami Vice - Honorable mention: Listen, I didn't really watch this, watch this, but this is what was hot on the streets at the time. The whole Miami Vice look, those ridiculous songs that Don Johnson and Phillip Michael Thomas came out with. This was the business right here. I was utterly confused, however, at why the LAPD detectives did NOT look as dapper as Crockett and Tubbs. And that woman that was on there, Olivia Brown, she put my little 16 year old body to shame her body was bangin!

Cagney and Lacey - Aaah, Chris Cagney and Mary Beth Lacey (played by Sharon Gless and Tyne Daly, respectively) I may have to stand corrected. Perhaps it was THESE women that made me fall in love with law enforcement. Tough as nails, and hard as steel, these women meant business on the frontline, and kept it personal in their love lives. Mary Beth, I believe was actually pregnant on the show (her husband was real like actor/brother George Stanford Brown). Mary BethLacey was the married one, trying to be a wife and amother to three children, as well as a New York City police officer. Chris Cagney was single, ambitious,and a recovering alcoholic. They were partners, as well as best friends. They have both turned into two well fed women, but it was a Great Show.

Law and Order - My beloved, my love, my one and only. The show that sets the standard. My criminal justice professor told me this is the most technically accurate show you can review in respects to law and order (NO, it is NOT CSI) - Eww! Had to be said, enough said. Slam the gavel.

Knight Rider - You wanted the car when you grew up. You loved the car. If you say it's not true y'all all liars! And I really thought the car worked like that. (this was PRE-Technology age, pre GPS, Lojack, etc). I didn't miss it. KITT was the bom car, and David Hasselhoff WORKED it, babeee.

Silk Stalkings - Rob Estes and Mitzi Kapture, babee! This was shown on USA, and came on late (at least late to my standards - 11:30 - midnight-ish), and was probably the first quasi-erotic crime drama. I enjoyed it because it had a 90's progressive flair, with a throwback to the 80's self absorbed era. A true guilty pleasure!

Midnight Caller - I was TOO THROUGH when I found out about this show. At the time, I was at junior college at LA Southwest, and was majoring in Administration of Justice, commonly called now Criminal Justice. Anywho, my classmate Donna told me about the show, and I was hooked. The premise of the program is that the guy was an ex-cop who left the force after accidentally killing his partner; he accepts a job as a late night talk show host, and of course, he ended up just getting caught up in STUFF! It didn't stay on long, but this is a cult classic y'all ain't knowin!

Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman - Yeah, okay I might get some flack for this but like that girl Tam said, Yeah, I said it, so what. I ended up watching this show because I used to work the swing shift (3-11 pm) when I was in college, and my mother was telling me about it, but of course, I didn't pay it any mind because she was older, and I thought that was the kind of stuff they watched, yanno? But then my schedule shifted to Saturdays from 7am to 3pm. Better for me. I didn't particularly go out on Saturdays, because I was so used to being off on Sundays and Mondays, and that's when I planned my activities. So when I would be home on Saturday, nothing was really on except for the HBO movie of the week, so finally I decided to tune in - I was hooked. The show was set in late 1800's Colorado Springs, Colorado with a female doctor, the resident bar/hooker establishment, the banker, minister, etc. Kind of a modern day "Little House on the Prairie". Imma say it again, the show was the bomb.

Any of your favorites on here?

What are some of your famous shows, and why?

The Macaroni Grill Experience

THE MACARONI GRILL EXPERIENCE. . .

See,

I am out of town on business Tam INSTRUCTED (ahem) me to blog while I was gone.

Here's what happened on the trip to the Macaroni Grill:

I pick Tam up for dinner on Friday. I'm coming from work, so well, I'm dressed like I'm coming from work. So Tam comes out the house suited and booted like we about to go somewhere else besides eat. She looked spectacular in some jacket of some sort, some jeans and boots. Makeup just so. Of course I looked absolutely ridiculous and overdressed because I was coming from work. Anyway, back to the lecture at hand.

Initially, we had decided on going to Claim Jumpers, to no avail. The line was longer than sinners on Judgment Day. So we opted for the Macaroni Grill, and a very good choice indeed. Tam is going to proclaim that she didn't do it, but she poured it on with a smooth accent, which she calls the white voice but it sounded more cat drenched, asking (well, purring) for the maitre'd to give us a reservation over the phone. She calls it her professional voice, but I'm not sure what profession she is referring to.

Anywho, we had about a twenty minute wait. We people watched, one person of note we were both highly disturbed with, to say the least. There was a latino women and man cooing over their child, less than six months old, near the front door of the establishment, where cold air was gushing in like a geiser. The little boy was six months old, at best, with a VERY thin onesie on, and the father had the blanket in HIS lap while the mother was lifting the baby up in the air. I wasn't even closest to the door and I was getting cold. We wished the baby well and went along our way.

On to the service. Initially, we thought we were going to have to jump raw on the waiters (a la Denny's) because people were passing by not helping us. Needless to say, we happened upon a waiter, Jason, a chipper looking white boy (no offense to the non 'of color readers)', but he was chipper, with a hint of charm. Tam got some chicken pasta dish and a drank that looked like It would knock me out in two and two. I don't normally drink (maybe 3X a year, and that's being generous). So I stuck to the pina colada, and got the lobster ravioli.

Dinner was great. But during the dinner, we were asking for miscellenous items, and due to the fact that both of us were raised with something called MANNERS, we were saying "excuse me", "would you", "please" and "thank you so much" with every request we had. After the dinner was over, Jason comes over to us and gushes that we are the nicest customers he has ever waited on. You could see the sincerity in his face, and we were flattered, particularly since there was not a black face in sight. I'm just being real.

Meanwhile, the supervisor of the group of servers (we suppose because he was perusing around asking everyone how the meal was) complimented (READ: Fawned) over Tam and her jacket. He asked me did I want some coffee but he wasn't looking at me. I didn't really care as long as he brought the water, which is what I requested. He brought us our beverages, and then proceeded to tell us the following two things. (He reminded me of Miguel Ferrer I don't know why)

He complimented me on my boots - Whateva, a day late and a dollar short.

He told us that Jason was leaving to go to Marie Callendars.

He asked us did we go to church. I said I went to church; and I said it quick before Miss Wicca, USA could comment. He wanted to let us know that Jason went to church, too. Hey, I'm a Christian, and even I didn't know what that had to do with the price of tea in China. But whatever, I just smiled.

Then, we decided to give Jason a good bye present. In addition to a Fabulous tip (30 percent), we crayoned, (for lack of a better term) little messages for him. Tam took it to a whole nother level talking about her kids like this and like that, drawing houses like she works for Kaufman Broad, and telling Jason she loves her husband. This was ALL ON THE TABLECLOTH. I just told him good luck and what's up on some free pies during the holiday season. Tam thinks she's friggin Toulouse Lautrec using all kinds of color schemes and what not.

Oh yeah, I forgot to mention that we had the bomb dessert. I had something called Lemon Paradise Passion, or something like that look it up online. Normally, I would have more links for y'all to peep out but my connectivity is weird in this hotel so I'm trying to punch out what I can. The texture and topping on the lemon cake was sumptious, complete with a rich, creamy, decadent, lemony taste that wreaked havoc on your taste buds.

Tam had a mocha inspired dessert of some sort, that could only be described as orgasmic. Laden with coffee flavored themes, and densely supported by different flavors of the chocolate family, the richness, texture, and density was intoxicating, inviting, invigorating, and luxurious to the taste.

This has been Pattyopolis, reporting to you from KPAT - FM, on location in the Seattle/Tacoma area. Film at eleven.

Voyeurism - Or Curiousity?

Voyeurism - or Curiosity?

Voyeur: French, literally, one who sees.

1 : one obtaining sexual gratification from seeing sex organs and sexual acts; broadly : one who habitually seeks sexual stimulation by visual means

2 : a prying observer who is usually seeking the sordid or the scandalous

Have you ever watched, or knew you were being watched? I'm not saying that I am a voyeur, I'm saying that things keep happening to me, from childhood up through adulthood.

The first time it happened I was about seven years old. My brother Dennis, who shared a room with my other brother, was in my oldest sister's room with his company. My sister and I (we are a family of five) shared a room adjoining my oldest sister's room. I had the wall closest to my sister's room. I can't 'splain the wall, but I could see through it. My sister's side appeared as all wall, but my side was mesh, I don't want to confuse you I'm trying to advance the story, so I will end it at that; tinny-way:

I was playing with my play-dough, and was about to put it back on the shelf. I accidentally on purpose looked through the mesh, and Lillian (my brother's girlfriend) was on top of my brother with her pants down (down, not off), grinding my brother. He had his hands on her behind and they were moving. I was trying not to look, but I couldn't stop staring. They were kissing, too. So I just kept looking. I don't remember how and why I stop, prolly got scared someone was going to come out peekin. It was the first time I had saw anyone in the nude. For that particular feeling, I wouldn't classify myself as feeling sexual, but I knew it was something different to what I was looking at, because I kept turning around towards my door to see if my momma or daddy was coming.

Second time around, I was about ten. My friend who lived down the street, she was what we called at that time, a latch-key kid. For those of you born after 1980, a latch key kid is a young child who comes home with their own house key, and are generally home alone for a short period while their parents were working. So, she was home by herself, and I came over to play with her Barbie Townhouse. Her brother came home with his girlfriend and went straight to the den. We knew what was up. So we waited awhile and crawled into her step down den, at least near it, to see if we could see something. And we did. They were going up, down, up, down. But they were under the covers. But then they started getting crazy and the covers came off. Both of them started yelling really loud and we got scared and crawled back in the room because we thought they were upset that they were caught. Needless to say, I now know what they were dewin.

Third time around (this is the only ones y'all need to know about), I took my friend Melanie over her boyfriend's house. His parents were on vacation. He had a little sister but she went with them. He stayed behind to work and go to school. We were all hanging out for awhile, and then I went in his sisters room to mess around with her flute (I played one for seven years), and eventually went to sleep. When I woke up I went into his kitchen to use the phone (this was pre-cell phone era), and I was talking, and I happened to lean forward. I got a bird's eye view of the action.

At first I was shocked; it was almost surreal. They couldn't see me because the way the bed was positioned, their heads were behind the door. So I could see from the neck down. I started whispering all on the phone, like the girl on the phone knew I was looking or something. Hell, I told her I had to call her back, because at that point I wasn't paying attention to the phone conversation anyway.

I really did try not to look. But they were getting down. Right before they got done (or at least what my inexperienced self thought), I went back in his sister's room and laid down. I heard them when they finished. About 20 minutes later, she came in there (I don't know if she took a ho bath or what, but I didn't hear no water running), asking me what was up. I was like "Nothing, I just woke up". I must admit, I did keep watching, because I liked it. There, I said it.

Have you watched? Been watched? Did you like it - or not?

I Ain't No Brotha, But If I Wuz

I ain't no brotha, but if I wuz. . .

Inspired in part by Tam (L word) and Mwabi (girl on girl) thoughts on the particular subject, and Closet Owner (general thoughts) on the matta, I've taken a different slant to this.

Lemme qualify my statements. I luvs being a woman. Man, I feel like a woman! All that good stuff.

BUT, if I were a brotha, I think I might have a good chance a peeping some game on a few chicks. I would be decent looking, I suppose (although I don't think my face would look good on a guy). I would be average height for a guy (six feet), versus tall for a woman (which I do not mind at all, Tam or Stalka Brian will tell you that).

I know one thing. I would prolly not have a skinny chick (no offense to anyone reading) but please don't read that wrong. I would not be interested in any buffalo gals, either. But if you had to choose, somebody with a FEW (read FEW) little extra lb's are fine, but again, not something that requires a bulldozer or a few hefty heave ho's to move. As my mother says, you can lose fat but 'cha can't lose ugly.

I was kinda thinkin, If I were a brotha, what kind of womens would I dig?

Like to hear it, here it goes.

Queen L: She looks significantly better and more symmetrically proportioned after her breast redux. She's the kind of chick, like, if I were a dude, she would be like the cool homie that you grew up with, that can hang with the fellas and what not, but then later, you would start looking at her, like, dang, she kind of cute, too. Problem is, would Queen like me as a brotha, or as a sista (TEE HEE)

Angelle Brooks: She's more of a character actor. I like her because short or long hair, she's a cute girl.

Lisa Nicole Carson - She is cute in a crazy looking kind of way. I prolly wouldn't want a serious relationship. Only BC's, cuz she looks kind of well . . . speaking of, if you look at her profile she is nowhere to be found past 1999. Rumor has it she is bipolar and is reportedly institutionalized and under the care of her mother. So, yep, for the most part if I was a brother, it would be strickly for the BC.

Sukanya Krishnan - Suki plays on HomeDelivery . I think she's purty and classy. I wouldn't like skanks. Tam what do you think of her? I'm asking for a very specific reason. She looks like a bidnesswoman.

Pam Grier - Because she's Pam Grier. PAM GRIER IS NOT A HOOCHIE!

Victoria Rowell - I like her because she has a mix of girl next door-smoldering beauty, clean cut and wholesome but not homely looking. And, in my former life, I used to look at Y & R, and Diagnosis Murder (so what??)

Vanessa Bell Calloway - I think she's purty, as well as exceptionally talented. Plus, she's yo "Queen to beeee".

Laila Ali - She seems like she would be cool, behave around your friend and family, and be a homebody. Don't want no hooka in the streets.

Roshumba - Some of the greatest, defined features ever. A little too skinny for mae, but I'd deal with it.

Angela Bassett - No doubt could hold the entire room at attention with her regality and words, son. A take home to the parents fo real. Yale, edumacated, too?! Her and her husband, actor are expecting their first children, twins, sometime this year.

Vanessa Williams - This is why I chose her. Even without the eyes, hair and complexion (which by the way is NOT a qualifier for cuteness, some people are foolish enough to think that) she is still very nice looking.

AJ Johnson - Yep, the girl from house party. Doesn't take much to figure that she is a personal trainer. She really does have some healthy tips and regimes on her web site.

Womens that I would not be bothered with:

Beyonce - Yes, I know. But I wouldn't be interested. Too much going on. Yeah, I knowwhatchathinkin, but even if I did have a lot of money, I would want more of the darker haired bevy of beauties above. Plus, sometimes I cannot emotionally deal with the hair issues that occur with her intermittedly. I don't like a lot of brouhaha associated with hair and stuff.

Halle - Hell to the naw. Too emotionally high maintenance fragile. Thanks but no thanks. I'll pass.

This beeach right here is crazy and I would not touch her with a ten foot pole!

JLO - Everbody she gets with (sans Puffy, who made her) career tanks. No thanks. Not my 'type' HEHE - Anyway, I generally takes my coffee black.

Kimora Lee - Thanks, Chuck, but I'll remain on my own.

In case y'all have one eyebrow raised and are identifying me as suspect, I've already laid out the Men I Love in a previous blog, when I was virgin on blogging.

I got some good taste, huh?

The Family Stone, Er, Addict

The Family Stone, er, Addict.

The Family Stone in actuality, is about a family of misfits. For myself, I am talking about one particular misfit in the family. The resident crackhead, my sister.

Rang-dang-diggidy-dang-a-dang-diggidy-dang-a-dang-diggidy-dang-a-

White Lines. . .vision dreams of passion (going through my mind)
and all the while I think of you (pipeline)
a very strange reaction (yours to unwind) the more I see, the more I do
Something of a phenomenon, telling your body to come along
Cause white lines - blow away..

My sister has had on and off problems with drugs for the past 15 years. She is very easily influenced and, on request, will jump off the top of the Empire State Building if you ask her to.

We have not particularly been concerned about her being on drugs for long periods of time. Let me qualify my statements when I say that. We DO NOT like the fact that she gets blazed up from time to time; however, my sister has always been a very scary/timid person. You come up behind her and she'll scream louder than a white chick in a horror movie. Because of that, she has always went on short term crack binges. "S" doesn't like to be hungry or cold. She was never one of the more long term addicts, a la New Jack City "I was Prom Queen of King High. . .This is beneath me!"

That's not to say that a rose by any other name, is just as sweet. A crack addict is a crack addict. And addict is a strong word for me, I don't think anything is an addiction, I full on believe they are chronic habit pattern that cannot be broken, but that's another blog.

Back to the lecture at hand. Again, we have never been concerned with her being on binges for long periods of time. When I say binges, that means to us disappearing acts. Which for her, were never longer than three or four days because as mentioned above, she doesn't like to be cold or hungry. Of course, we know the dabbling triggers the binges, so we are not uneducation in the pattern of substance abuse.

AND, the pattern is. . .she would come back begging anyone in the family stone chain:

• Her children's father
• My father
• My mother
• Her friends
• My aunts and uncles

You see I am nowhere in the equation, she quit asking me things long ago. And she's always got a new crocodile tear story. She claims that she shouldn't be allowed to have a car and job at the same time because that triggers her drug binges (S has no clue with personal responsibility how the heasy do you choose between a car and a job - deal with the issue!) I don't mean to keep getting off track, but as for her being gone for short periods of time, that is a distant memory.

No one in this family has seen hide nor hare of my sister in over three years.

I knowwhatchathinkin - No, she is not dead. We haven't SEEN her, but she does call periodically. (We don't talk at all, I can only pray for her)

This is a woman that has four children (21, 15, 12, and 8). The last three live with their father, and the oldest lives with mines. Every holiday, I have to stand guard by the 15 year old, because she gets really sensitive around the holidays because of course, her mother is conspicuously absent.

I'm going to try to wrap this up, but my sister has begged, borrowed, and stolen from just about every family member of memory. She is currently living in Las Vegas (we know this because of the periodic 702 area code hang ups we get, as well as the "Hi kids" letters she sends to her children indicate), working at Walgreen's. This is a woman that has held jobs with the city, county, and government. She types 85 words a minute.

Walgreen's must be her day job, though, because her phone voice mail sounds like her name is Peaches and she's offering more than three for a dollar tic tacs at the corner.

Question of the day? You or someone you know has a resident family addict? What kind of beg borrow and steal drama have they put folks through? Disappearing acts, even?

And if you don't then you are in good company and where do you live so I can move there.

That's What It's All About - Blogging

Everyone Has A Story

Taking a cue from Jaimie, she posed a question to her readers. It was initialized because she was introduced to blogging and didn't know what it was. Now she loves and is in love with blogging profusely.

Prior to opening up a blog. I was internet savvy. Knew the navigations, clicks, and hyperlinks. Because I am over 25, I consider everyone over 25 to be in the transitional generation. Meaning, computers were not introduced in our lives until the mid nineties, and we probably didn't have one until the late nineties (at least that how it was for me).

In fact, about a year ago, my mother purchased a 1984 LA Olympic Souvenir book for me because I love historical data. As I trolled (look at me, using blogging terminology). As I LEAFED through the book, rather, I saw an article on how the United States Olympic Committee was telling Olympic parents that they can come to the Los Angeles Memorial Coliseum and hook up and send them electronic communication, which they will receive within minutes. Improbable then, yes, but since then (1984), electronic communications have soared.

In fact, it is said that the victims of hurricane Katrina and Rita were able to find friends, family, and co-workers through blog sites that had been set up to keep track (and check in) of individuals, through the New Orleans website.

So, how did I first hear about blogging?

On various news sites, which I love, I would always see "Blog". It didn't look any different from a new article, other than fonts were different and comments were allowed. Didn't pay much attention to it, though; I didn't know that people could develop their own, I though, as Jaimie indicated on her site, that it was some kind of techie thing that was way over my head. Hell, I had shoes to buy and flirting to do.

I asked a friend of mine who has an undergraduate degree in IT what is was. But she graduated almost two years ago and has been in a sales job and was clueless and had not kept up on things the way she had wanted to.

So I let it go.

Heavens to Murgatroid!!! Enter my Tammy-Tam. She had one, and considered it therapeutic. She sent me the link, and I started realized how good her link, as well as others were. People had much to say on so many different things. Not just techie people. People. Some weird, some phreaky, and some just like you and I (a variant of

So, I decided to open up a blog. My biggest concern has, and still is, the maintenance of it. Might not appear as such, but I have a relatively demanding job that takes a lot of my time. I didn't want to start something and then not fulfill what I should. So far, it is okay, but I'll leave that to the readers to decide.

Often times I do not feel obligated to post something everyday (haven't felt that pressure yet), but I have been this week so far, don't know how long that will last. However, I do know that all of you have something valuable to say. May not particularly agree with some, all, or most of it. But we all have something to say, and I believe we have learned that there is so much to be said. Okay, enough of the General Foods International Coffee moment, that is so not me.

And y'all make me sick. I be (gotta pull out the ebon on this) tryin to work and stuff, but then y'all always got sumpin good to say, and then when you comment on there, you see somebody else's site and then you want to go and check whay they had to say on there. Vicious cycle, and with that said, I've gots to log out now and get some work done.

Before I do, I pose this question to you.

Why Do You Blog and/or Read Blogs?

Why Did You Start?

And How Do You Feel About it?

Clocking Out - AKA Suicide

Clocking Out. . .

Suicide (from Latin sui caedere, to kill oneself) is the act of willfully ending one's own life; it is sometimes a noun for one who has committed or attempted the act. - From Wikipedia, the Free Encyclopedia. . .

The events that have surrounded the death of James Dungy, along with a conversation with a friend last night inspired this particular blog, and with that, I want to actually bring up people that we know to have taken their own lives and to ask a question of you. . .

Phyllis Hyman (1949-1995) - Love the girl. One of my favorite singers. At the time I was in college and was working in a record store. When someone told me that she had passed, the first thing that I had thought about was a heart attack. (Anyone who knows/loves Phyllis would know that she had been looking well fed at that point). But when I heard that she had taken her own life, I was hurt. I didn't know her, but that was the feeling that I had was, hurt. . .What could have been so bad where she did not want to LIVE anymore?

Phyllis was a natural talent and beauty, in an era where her style, beauty, and musical genre were a place where, she couldn't actually be placed. (Similar to Dorothy Dandridge, Butterfly McQueen, Althea Gibson, Nat King Cole). It is also rumoured that she was constantly unlucky in love. She took her life not too long before she had to appear on stage with the Whispers. I still love and miss her music.

More on Phyllis: Phyllis Hyman Page AND PhyllisHyman

Donny Hathaway (1945-1975) - A rich, sumptious singer with an unforgettable voice, I was just knee high to a duck when he passed. He launched himself from a high rise window. The glass had been carefully removed from the window and there were no apparent signs of struggle. I remember seeing a picture of the window in the Ebony magazine. (back when the Ebony was HUGE). I was puzzled, and confused. I didn't quite know what suicide was and meant, but I did know that he was dead, but I didn't comprehend the manner in which it was prescribed.

Equally underappreciated (a la Phyllis), but beloved, Donny Hathaway sings one of the most, if not the most memorable Christmas song there is (This Christmas). His daughter, Lalah Hathaway, is equally as talented as he.

For more information, you may visit the Donny Hathaway Page.

Kurt Cobain (1967-1994)- Yah, I dunno. In my humble opinion, I think it was a CON - spiracy. I know he had a substance abuse problem, but somethin's rotten in the state of Denmark. . .

Additional info on Kurt can be found at

The Cobain Memorial: Welcome to Cobain.com, Cobain Murder Investigation, and Justice For Kurt Cobain - Was Kurt Cobain Murdered?

Dorothy Dandridge (1923-1965) - This is questionable as well. Although she had only $2.14 in her bank account when she died; there is evidence that her career was on the rebound; however, she had lost everything, and the only child that she did have, Harolyn Nicolas from Harold Nicholas from the Nicholas brothers, was severely disabled, and after her money ran out, she had to make her a ward of the state. It's questionsable that she died accidentally; however, many believe it to be a suicide, even though the official coroner's report did not make a final determination.

When I was a sophomore in high school, a guy at our school went into the men's room and hung himself with a belt. It was right after lunch and those in the first lunch had just seen him strolling around. Counselors were brought on site to counsel the students that were affected. Maybe then I would say that I wasn't, but in hindsight, I now know it to have been shock, because I blanked it out of my mind from then until the incidents that surrounded the most recent suicide of James Dungy.

More info on Dorothy can be seen at Dorothy Dandridge - A Life Unfulfilled

What I do know about suicide is:

- Most men use a more agressive (read: violent) means of ending their lives (shotgun blast, jumping from a building.

- Most women use a more clandenstine approach (pills, carbon monoxide).

What I DON'T know, and this is probably the consensus of all, is Why? What are your thoughts on this? Have you or someone you know had to experience something like this?

Loaning Money

Loaning Money. . .

Neither a borrower nor a lender be;
For loan oft loses both itself and friend,
And borrowing dulls the edge of husbandry.
This above all: to thine ownself be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.
Farewell: my blessing season this in thee!

- Shakespeare's "Hamlet"

Before I get into my spiel, let me qualify my statements (be quiet, Tam).

I, personally have been through my financial fiascos, my own private Idaho. I always tell my family members, for a single woman with no kids, (but with nieces and nephews who think I AM their momma), I have more drama! So, with that said, I understand when people get into, as JJ on Good Times would say "Sitiations". Provided you do not have a good volume of liquid assets, it only takes one thing to occur to snowball people into a financial crises. If you haven't been there, then I would think you are, at the very least, cognizant of someone who has experienced this.

One of my best male friends (and believe me he is only a friend - I will address Male/Female relationships at a later date) asked me to borrow some money, fiddy to be exact. I had it but didn't have it ifyouknowwhatImean. If you have no idea what I mean, fifty dollars is not twenty, and you do notice when it is gone. There is a difference between your cell phone bill being twenty dollars over the limit, versus fifty. Now, I don't put myself in a financial bind to give somebody something, but yet in still $50 is no small potatoes, it might be to the ballers that blog this site but not for me.

So I gave it to him. According to him, (whathadhappenedwuz) he was laid off for about a month, and then went into, as he put it, the "real estate mortgage thang", so he just needed some gas money to tide him over for few weeks until his first pay check came. He comes over my house to get the money (transportation and/or gas is never a problem for borrowers, have you noticed that?) Hands me his adorable shortie (six year old girl whom I love and adore) for some cooing and kissing. He thanks me profusely, gets back in his Yukon, and is on his Merry Way.

First paycheck comes, don't hear from the brother. Okay, no biggie. I would expect that. Has to catch up I assume. But you know what happens when you assume. With that said, I assume the brother gets paid bi-weekly, but I don't hear from him in those next couple of weeks, either.

Tick tock, Tick, tock.

Ladies and gentleman, the time is now

four months later and a new year and I

have yet to get that fiddy back.

I know he didn't think it was a gift. Speaking from experience, I am full on aware that when you get a loan from someone, you know you owe them money, how much, and when you said the money would be returned.

This is not the first time this has happened to me. A single friend of mines with two children asked me to borrow $50 (is that the standard), and she did call a month later and tell me she had the money, but I was working and was in school and couldn't get over there. That was a year ago and I haven't heard anything about it since. I could go on and on but would rather hear it from you.

I am a generous person, sometimes to a fault (but I ain't no sucka). If afforded the opportunity, I would like to be philanthropist. I wouldn't identify myself as a bleeding heart per se, but generally I can identify real needs, versus people constantly getting yourself into various binds, whether it be finacial irresponsibility, messing around with the wrong folks, or just being pure dee lazy and not wanting to get it together. So, all in all, I don't mind loaning the money, what I do mind, and have noticed, is:

Why, when mofos want to borrow $$$, they call and call until they get ahold of you, and when they do get ahold of you, they make their way over to your house, taxi, BART, MARTA, blue line, red line, pony express, piggyback, doesn't matter.

BUT

When it comes time to pay back, you are unable catch up to these negroes even if you were Flo Jo incarnate. Funny how they can call you at work, home, cell, etc, but when it comes to the repayment, folks drop off the face of the earth. Cuz, I don't know about y'all, but as for me, the 'borrowed' money is the first ends I think about when I have a need or want.

Some folks who borrow money have the nerve to have lightweight attitudes when it's time to give it back. And I hate that "You got it, why not" mentality, that does not have Nathan to do with it.

Literally, a loan is a loan. Figuratively, I see is as money put out into the universe, because even though the righteous thing is to get it back, more oft than not, the case is that you don't.