Freek-a-leek

I used to date this guy that had a foot fetish.

Now, I know all brothers say they don't want a woman whose feet looks as if they have been kicking rocks. I also know that in classic Boomerang fashion, that the fascination with feet escalated to an all time high.

But this brother was on some different kind of sh**.

This guy had a foot fetish that beats all foot fetishes. I used to work with him (broke working rule 101), and he actually said that he intially saw me from behind. Now, normally, if brothers see you from behind, they tend to look at, well, YOUR BEHIND.

I should have known something was rotten in the state of Denmark when this mofo when he said the first thing that he looked at was the heels of my feet.

The first time that we went out (it was to a coffeehouse). My legs were crossed in the direction that was not facing him. He actually made a special request for me to uncross my legs, and cross them in the other direction, so that he could SEE my feet at a better angle. I didn't think anything of it then, I just thought he wanted to check out the french tip. Later on in the relationship he told me when he was a little boy, that his mom's friends would come over, and they just thought he was the most obedient, friendly child. He said he was just happy because they would come over with sandals on.

Run, Forrest, Run, right? Okay, the dude was fine and at that time I was pretty interested in giving his goatee a protein shake.

ANYWAY. . .Needless to say, after we became involved, and we would participate in, 'extracurricular horizontal activities', the first thing on deck for him to do would be for him to give me an intensive, lengthy foot massage. Now, ladies, I know this is Heaven on Earth, and I agree wholeheartedly. However, it became increasing disturbing that he was getting an equal amount of pleasure (which is okay) in doing this, but he seemed to delight in it maybe even more so than I was!! Even to the point that he would appear irritable if I wasn't particularly ready, or interested in him rubbing my feet AT THAT POINT.

He was (I believe) harmless, and, after all he could throw that "D". Did I mention that he was phoine?!?! However, things started getting out of hand when he would email me and ask me what kind of shoes I had on.

Y'all stop laughing.

This wasn't necessarily the downfall of our relationship (not at all), we just went in separate directions. Not to mention that his increasing requests and unquenching desire for all things feet was starting to supercede his other attributes and quickly became, well. . . ANNOYING.

He eventually married a few years later, and much to his (and her) chagrin, he's been caught looking at women's feet, and, sometimes, confronted with printouts of women's feet (which, in his opinion, the more ORNATE with jewelry, the better) that he has found on the internet.

The boy needs help. But I don't believe he wants it. I think he revels in his sickness. Also in classic boomerang style, he has out and out said that he wouldn't date a woman, no matter HOW FINE she is, if her feet were unattractive.

Now, I won't go as far as saying (in public - hahaha) that I have any fetishes. Now, some folks I would consider having some serious fetishes are people like Marv Albert , who likes to take a bite out of crime when it comes to women, as well as trot around in their panties, and Rachael Ray's husband is just NASTY. What I DO enjoy looking at though, is a man's hands. They don't have to be perfect; because if they are I'm prolly going to get freaked out and think he has a case of bitchitis. But what I don't want, is someone that bites their nails down to the quick. Eew. But on the inverse, I do NOT want someone whose nails on their hands are longer than mines. That's a little too OG pimp Bishop Don Magic Juan for my taste. I also believe that no matter whether or not a brother is blue collar or white collar, your hands don't have to feel like you're a field slave, so I definitely enjoy them to be relatively smooth. Not so smooth whether I question if the brother has ever even changed a TIRE, but also hands not rough enough to cut diamonds, either.

Had to be said, enough said.

Do you know anyone that has any peculiar fetishes? Do YOU have some? Anonymous Posts ROCK!!

Big Brother

At the beginning of my eighth grade year, we read the short story (tween) version of George Orwell's 1984. This book is no "Are you there God? It's Me, Margaret."

1984 scared the shit out of me. (NOT.TO.MENTION it was 1983 when we read it!)

The book, written decades before, talked about a new world, where your thoughts were limited to what the gub-ment only wanted you to think, and, in fact, the "Thought Police", as they were called, were there to monitor your thoughts, and know your intentions, and even more so, your greatest fears. You were watched by an all invasive "Big Brother", one who was never named, but was technically, representative of all acts that were invasive upon your (unexistent at that point), basic human rights.

What about now? Even if you never read 1984 - Most of you have seen the "Minority Report", which does on or around the same thing. I do want to say, though, I love technology. HELLO, I'm using it right now. I hardly carry cash, I love bill pay/online payments, and if you saw my cell phone you would know that it's has anything and everything on it. Now that that is out of the way, I also want to tell you that I also am a CON-Spiracy theorist and sometimes I get to philosophicizin and, so read at your own risk!. :)

We are living in a culture and where there are consistent breakthroughs in the areas of technology, the sciences, health, and education. Equally as such, these very same breakthroughs are what are enabling our technology to put a microchip in your animal to locate it, (and DON'T THINK children are not going to be next), or being instructed to take cervical cancer shots as a mandatory procedure. We are living in an era where your Ralphs Club card, Visa Debitcard, and all other things electronic track your every pleasure, whim, and even fetish. There is a new machine out that is supposedly able to track what your INTENTIONS are (Minority Report, anyone?). And as for viewing/reviewing your purchase taste, you can't even GO into a department store without them asking for your name/phone number and "Would you like to be on our mailing list?" spiel. Going on Amazon will give you a "Hi Patricia, here's what we recommend for you. . ."based on your previous visits to the site. NOT TO MENTION the Gub-Ment wanting to access your library records of what you have read, under the auspices of operating under the "USA Patriot Act".

And then there is Gmail. Email on steroids. Email squared. Mail that, puts advertisements in your inbox that are comparable to what you have searched for in Google if you remain signed in after you leave Gmail. Even our love/hate BFF Blogger, required you to retain a Gmail address in order to even UPGRADE to the "New and Improved" blogger.

Let's not forget our beloved You Tube. In an increasingly video-hungry society, our thirst has become unquenchable. Whether it's side splitting humor, or the death of dictators, our video on demand taste has reached infinite status and we have, indeed, reached the point of no return.

So, the next time you're enjoying your GPS Navigational System, or whizzing through the pump via Speedpass, or even trolling through the internet. . .Take another look and tell me, Whose Zooming Who?

But hey, what do I know. I thought that Tony Blair was the Antichrist.

What do YOU Think? Big Brother is Watching, or P's Crazy as Hell?

Irrational Fears/Phobias - Part Deux

One of my favorite posts on her blog was the post on Irrational Phobias. I thought when I was reading it that it was more funny than anything. I want to say I was sympathetic to what people were saying, but the manner in which they were commenting and the far out things that were being said (present company included) just kept me ROLLING for the entire post.

She was referring to things (irrational maybe to US - totally legitimate and valid to those who deal with it) that people just don't like. That which gives you the heebie-jeebies, or, something that, you just can't put your finger on, just gives you the creeps. If you look in her comments section, you would be surprised at some of the stuff that really just gets under people's skin.

Taken from the irrational phobia dictionary. Supa has some personal ones that she picked out on her post regarding this as well; and here are some of the ones that I found interesting:

Botanophobia: Fear of plants.
Chaetophobia: Fear of hair.
Enetophobia: Fear of pins.
Euphobia: Fear of hearing good news. (what the hell is THAT about)
Textophobia: Fear of certain fabrics. (I think this might be me)
Graphophobia: Fear of writing or handwriting.

Okay, you get the point.

My friend was watching the Maury Povich show, and she said there were people on there that were deathly afraid of different things, up to an including: Mustard, balloons, and clowns. She told me that these people would take off running (stop laughing!) when presented with these things that they feared.

Now, I won't go as far as saying that I'm fearful of particular things, but I must admit that I Do have some irrational phobias that have made many of my friends and family chuckle. Supa in particular (and I'm not telling her business, it's on her post), actually talks about her fear of pine cones.

I have another girlfriend who doesn't cook with anything but wooden utensils, because she doesn't like the sound of metal against any of her cooking products. It's not anything that's a scraping sounds, she doesn't like the way it sounds AT ALL. I have another friend who doesn't like how honeycombs look and, in fact, instructed one of the salespeople at our job that she would NOT help him unless he took off that tie, because it was distracting her. Him, knowing how she was, took it all in stride and promptly removed the tie.

My niece doesn't like to see anything that is bundled or bunched together (like a pack of birds, or a bunch of say, teddy bears in one spot). She gets creeped out.

On to me. . .there is only one thing that bothers me. Unusual patterns. My hairs on my arms and the back of my neck are standing up even as I type this.

If you are wondering what kinds of patterns, it's not all of them, but if it is going in a certain direction, or too many directions, or just has a weird look to it, for some reason it just triggers something in my nervous system and it gives me the CREEPS! One such pattern is crop circles. I have heard that the Mel Gibson movie "Signs" is an EXCELLENT movie . . .however, you won't catch me dead watching it because of the crop circles. Now, I can sit and watch an autopsy, faces of death, and any other bloody mess, but show me a crop circle or a wall with too many cracks in it, or some fabric that has way too much going on it in, and I'm NOT going to be happy.

I don't even like typing the word crop circles.

Stop laughing.

Anyway, I know there are innumerable people in the world with their own idiosynchracies. Some people don't like heights, some people can't sleep or eat without certain items, so let us know what they are. . .

Do you or someone you know have an irrational phobia?

May Old Skool Joint

:) I used to LOVE this song. . . .Still do!

Diva, Interrupted

With the grace of a ballerina, and the voice strength that matches the physical strength of a Sumo wrestler, Shannon Pearson is THE one to watch. This diva in question has a melodic voice that captures and enraptures everyone in it's vicinity. Moreover, Shannon Pearson delivers the goods in an equally soulful and classy momentum, that has her destined for superstardom.

In frequent demand with many mainstream artists for both studio and live performances, she brings sass, class, and jazz into every note. I recently sat down (read: emailed) and talked with Shannon Pearson, AKA the Sangin Diva for some 1 on 1 "in the know" regarding her professional endeavors.

P: When did you first realize that you were interested in a singing career?

Shannon: I actually think my career chose me! Singing has always been an intricate part of my life. At six years old I had a dream of me on stage singing to what looked like MILLIONS of people. I always had a "pull" towards being a singer/actress/entertainer; however, but society tells you it is an unrealistic dream... I'm glad I didn't listen to that crap!

P: What do you consider was your first ‘big break?’

Shannon: I treat EVERY opportunity to sing, work with another artist, or perfect my craft a "big break". I can't just point to one incident because they ALL are steps that carry me to the next stage of my journey. I try to learn and take something from every experience. There is always an opportunity to have a "BIGGER BREAK" so I won't limit God to just the breaks I've have had so far.

P: You have discussed with me before the difference between working with new booty entertainers versus entertainers who have carved out a solid niche in the business. Can you expound on that, and the benefits to working with the groups that you do?

Shannon: Most times when you work with a newer artist, the record companies believe you should feel privileged to sing with this "big named star that is hot right now" - BUT they don't pay you any money. So you'll be singing with this "big star" but living at home with your mommy and daddy because you can't afford anything but lunch with your friends (meanwhile, bragging about WHO you sing with). Furthermore, a new artist can't TEACH you much - they are still learning themselves. Older artists have been in the business a long time and can teach you lessons that have kept them around 25-30 years. There are MANY things I can say about this question/subject and could go on and on for DAYS, but I will just leave it at that!

P: Many people are unaware that you are a college graduate; please tell us about your collegiate experience and what career profession you were in prior to becoming a singer.

Shannon: Although a good education is EXTREMELY important, I'm not going to pretend like I loved school! However, I am good at ANYTHING I put my mind to so grades were not a problem. (I received scholarships for both music and academics). I became a teacher because "society" says you need something to "fall back on" if you choose any route that is not traditional. And, of course, what do most people do when they get out of school? TEACH! For myself, I think I loved the social aspect of college more than anything. . .like this one time at the Alpha house. . . (HAHAHA!!)

P: You now have a my space page. How is the traffic going on that?

Shannon: Yeah. . . myspace. I will be honest and say I RARELY use my myspace page. I haven't uploaded much music on it. I keep saying one day I'm going to work on it. . . but I'm lying. If anybody wants to help me out with that I would SO appreciate it. Hit me up!

P: We all know about the glamorous aspect of your entertainment career: Tell us about some of the challenges of having a life in that industry.

Shannon: I travel. . . A LOT! Which means that relationships suffer? It's hard to make plans because if a show pops up. . .well you know how that is; if I don’t work, I don’t eat!! Traveling constantly on the road is hard on your body as well. You eat a lot of junk on the road because fast foods are really the most available options. The plane rides are VERY long and hard on your back and joints (pressurization) A first class seat is just not always available- sometimes first is full. And coach seats SUCK!! In truth, I could go on, and on (and on) about the challenges but LIVING a REALITY that was once only a dream, will ALWAYS trump any small stuff. God is good and I am grateful.

P: What advice do you give someone who is interested in having a career such as yours?

Shannon: I'd say surround yourself with people who are doing what you want to do. Learn as MUCH as you can and PRACTICE. I practice EVERYDAY.

P: How can you tell the difference between someone who is enchanted with the industry versus someone who is willing to pay their dues, often longer than they may expect?

Shannon: A person who is enthralled by the glitz and glamour of it all will quickly lose interest. There is sooo much more than the performance you see on stage. It really is hard work and if you don't TRULY love it and it isn't your TRUE passion... you will tire and fade very quickly. Most people think artists are over night successes... but if you ask ANY of them they will tell you it was a long road of no's before they finally got the chance – that “YES”, they needed for the world to hear them.

P: Who are some of your favorite artists?

Shannon: Wow, I have too many to name but here are a few: Nancy Wilson, John Coltrane, Lalah Hathaway, Luther Vandross, classic Whitney Houston, Ella Fitzgerald, Eric Benet, Chante' Moore', George Duke, Jeffrey Osborne, Aretha Franklin Oscar Peterson and Joe Sample. I feel bad because this isn't even a FRACTION of my list!)

P: Are you a songwriter?

Shannon: Yes I am! Songwriting is very important. No one can tell about you and your experience like you can. And if you went through a certain experience - someone else has too. The human experience (told through music) is universal. Here is a song I wrote and posted on my blog: Blogger Fam - Lend Me Your Ears!


P: What's next for Shannon Pearson?

Shannon: I honestly can't say what is next-I'm looking forward to all of the exciting and wonderful adventures that will come my way. I already know my destiny, so the journey is my gift. I am so happy and thankful to God for this experience. I love my life!

P: Anything else you'd like to add?

Shannon: I just want to tell everyone to go after your passion. Don't worry about the money- if it is what you LOVE to do, the money will follow. People will see the passion in your work and support you. Your talents won't lead you any where you are not supposed to be. Don't be afraid-if you believe it -it can happen.

There are those that can sing, and those that can SANG. . .we are bearing witness to one who can SANG - Shannon Pearson. This, is S.O.S. The Sounds of Shannon Pearson~ aka The Sangin' Diva, located at http://sangindiva.blogspot.com.

For further information on Shannon Pearson, you may check here out at http://www.myspace.com/sangindivaslounge - or take the scenic route through my page.

So, sit back.relax.marvel.enjoy. - Fall in love with the sangindiva's voice - as we do over and over again, those who call her friend.

Burn, Baby, Burn

April 29 brought power to the people, and we might see a sequel.
- Ice Cube, "Wicked"

It has been fifteen years. Fifteen years since the city of Los Angeles was burned, almost beyond recognition. Fifteen years city since the powder keg exploded, since the weeds came up and choked the life out of the community. Since the tears turned to anger, turned to rage, turned to violence, turned to exploitation, then turned to recovery.

We, the citizens of the City of Angels, witnessed it firsthand. It was MORE than anger. It was confusion, frustration, and anger. It was Daryl Gates and LAPD's finest in rare form. It was trying to figure out, at a very young age, "Where is the hell IS Simi Valley, anyway?"

It's not so much important to get into the minutia details of what happened on Florence and Normandie. All of us know them. And it only takes going down one of our many streets that NEVER recovered, where the buildings are dilapidated, or GONE, replaced with nothing but bitterness, violence, and memories of how and why it happened.

Just as everyone can remember where you were and what you were doing during 09/11, or the OJ verdict, we all remember how we felt and where we were when this story broke.

We weren't surprised at the video that emerged when we saw Rodney King. Our thought was "Oh, so now they have it on tape". We WERE, however, surprised that they changed venues, and relocated the trial to bum fuck Egypt, otherwise known as Simi Valley, a suburbian community that is at least 45 minutes outside of Greater Los Angeles. But hey, from a technical perspective what should that matter for us, because there WAS a tape, and there WAS the evidence. Mind you, we knew that Rodney King was a hot mess and probably had one too many Remy's or Sticky Icky's, but what we saw on those tapes was not restraint, it was brutal assault. Moreover, it just looked TOO EASY. . .The officers looked like they were playing caroms with their sticks.

Then, the verdict was announced.

For myself, I was at home that day from work and school. My mother had went to a funeral. I was stunned. The tears burned in the back of my irises. I didn't know what to think. Then I saw what was happening on Florence and Normandie. What they call South Central LA. What we call a couple of blocks West of the 110 Freeway. . .And it just grew, and grew, and grew. The Los Angels Riots ha

For most of us in Los Angeles, everything that was happening was surreal. We did everything, including stocking up on food and water, thinking that it would be a shortage. My School (California State University, Los Angeles), closed up for the rest of the week. There was NO Internet boon at the time, and you only had a cell phone if you were doctor or a drug dealer, so you were glued to the TV, transfixed by what you saw, you were running to your phone because someone paged you :P or you were going to page someone.

It felt like the LA Riots would never end. And, to some degree, it hasn't.

And the grassroots healing began. All kinds of Non Profit (read: Suspect) organizations came out of the woodwork. The "Rebuild LA" project came to the forefront, and now downtown LA has is turning into a major place to be. (anyone who lives down here knows that at this point, you best not be caught dead down there after 8pm unless you're going to see the Lakers). Somebody was somewhere. I know people that were getting their hair braided at the time, I know folks that were DOING TIME, that lived right in the thick of it, and who participated in in. For all of us Angelenos and those who understood across the nation, it was a turning point. Whether you were hurt by it, saw it as an opportunity to rob and steal, or figured it had to be tore down to get some attention, we are still here. We are still standing.

We are, the people of the City of Angeles. We are the Angelenos.

What do YOU remember about the Los Angeles Riots? Where were YOU?

Reversal of Fortune

If I had a 1,000,000, We wouldn't have to walk to the store
If I had a 1,000,000, We'd take a limousine cause it costs more
If I had a 1,000,000 We wouldn't have to eat Kraft dinner
"If I Had a Million Dollars" - Barenaked Ladies

Recently, I was discussing with a friend of mines the Showtime Documentary "Reversal of Fortune". It is a documentary that trails the life of a homeless man, and his subsequent decisions and purchases he made after he is surprised with a windfall of 100 grand. We then transitioned into the subject of people in our lives who also have had opportunities come their way based on an inheritance, back pay, or anything in between, where they received significant amounts of money that, although not something they could RETIRE with, could definitely be a cushion for wants, needs, and then enough money left to SPARE.

Here are some of the monies that were squandered by friends and/or family. ***DISCLAIMER*** Just CUZ I know these mofos don't mean I spend my money like it's Last Holiday or something.

Conte$tant Number One: A friend I went to high school with, his mother won 100K in the California lottery. Now, although 100 K taxed at a high percentile almost cuts that amount in HALF. . .It was still circa late eighties, and that was a significant amount of money to have at one time. The lady, her son, and her daughter proceeded to go to Hawaii and Jamaica, bought a Cadillac (throw some D's on it), and then remodeled the kitchen. Before the end of the year was out, she had turned in the Cadillac because she couldn't afford the luxury tax for the car tags, bought a less expensive car and used the remaining money to catch up on her bills.

Conte$tant Number Two: A cousin of mines, received 37K from SSI due to, what he calls, his inability to work based on a long term disability. Frankly, he is 26 years old and appears to get around better than a seven year old boy after two red bulls but that is not my concern. Anyway, he received back pay from that, and proceeded to buy five leather jackets for his sister, he bought twenty pair of Eye-Talian shoes for himself, as well as twenty designer shirts for himself. He got all of this from downtown LA. For those of you who are not familiar with the LA basin, downtown LA is known as the garment (read: sweatshop) district, a place where you can buy both authentic and knockoff clothes for a reasonable price. He also purchased a significant amount of bling bling, one of which was the platinum cross. YES, you know what I'm talking about. He did buy a car. That was a good thing. Paid about 10K for it. HOWEVER, something or another happened and the car was towed and he had NO money to get it out. He was subsequently evicted and no one has heard from him. But the last time you saw him he was decked out with some nice shirts and shoes, though. :P

Conte$tant Number Three: One of my mother's friends (who had a child, VERY spoiled, who couldn't keep a job - not to mention couldn't keep his nose clean) received a settlement check of 30 grand. . .Had something to do with her dead husband, I don't remember. My mother was giving her some suggestions on what to do with it, but NO. . .Her son wanted her to invest in his get rick quick schemes. She 'lent' that fool more money for the "World's Greatest Vitamin" "Amway" "Long Distance" and Any other Network Marketing Scam you can think of. She told my mother that "Well, I don't want Social Security to find out about it later on and me have to pay it back. (I am NOT sure what she is talking about). She gave my mom 1K (my mom refused to take it, but she insisted so my mother, being who she is said phuck it and took it). She was going to Marie Callendar's every day, and giving her son AT LEAST 50.00 per day (which no doubt, fueled his drug habit to NO END. W/N three months that money was GONE!

**SIGH**

I don't understand it. I KNOW that everybody has a vice and a challenge to overcome; sometimes it's alcohol, other times it's sex, other times it's food, temper, and anything else you can think of. But blowing that amount of money in such a short period of time is staggering to me. I know that perhaps their socio-economic status may have played a part in how they handled the money (which is what happened with Reversal of Fortune), but I don't want to make excuses in a world where so many opportunities are available and resources to assist you. Being a good steward over money is important to me. I won't say I'm the champion or I always do the right thing, BY ANY means, but I know an opportunity when I see one. . .

Do you know anyone that this has happened to? Has it happened to YOU? What would YOU do with a windfall?

(Of course if it has happened to you, I would expect anonymous posts. :P)

April Old Skool Joint

This Video Needs No Introduction. And Yes, I had my (VERY MISGUIDED) dreams of being the next drum queen, although I'm sure the men had another kind of dream when it came to her. :)

Habla Espanol?

In respect to the coastal states, the value of knowing a secondary language is almost tantamount to having a secondary collegiate education. There are innumerable job postings that are listed, where, they not only require knowing a second language, but actually post it in the language they are looking for you to know.

With English not being the official language of the united states, our melting pot consists of innumerable languages (Farsi, French, and in particular, Spanish). The spanish population has imploded in recent years, and, in fact, they are progessing as the largest minority (for lack of a better word) in this country. This land was originally inhabited by almost every ethnicity that you can imagine (Sans European) prior to the Columbus raid, so during that time there were far reaching implications of what was communicated prior to that. This is understood.

With that said, if in fact there is a high latino population (surging and emerging) that would also mean that there are more and more Latinos entering the work force. Because of this, those who do have English as a Second Language have SPANISH as their first language. With that said, if you live or visit any coastal state (Texas, California, New York), even an increasing number of employees are conversing in their native languages directly on the work floor.

The value of knowing a second language is beautiful, no matter which one. Any language is a form of communication (Sign Language included), and to break a barrier with a person who believes that you are unable to speak with them cannot be measured in words. I've witnessed it and it's wonderful. As for me, once again, I'll reserve my opinions after every one has posted.

But that's not the question at hand. . .There are many, and you can respond to any of of them you wish. . .

If this economy works primarily in one language (American English), then would there be a necessity to require employees to speak a secondary language in a work location where the primary language IS English? (With the exception of call centers, where in bound calls come in from people speaking everything from Arabic to Swahili). Has the tide turned where those who have mastered the English language (as most were trained to do in their primary school years, as well as secondary education) came back to haunt many of them? Is it appropriate for any person that speaks a secondary language to carry on an entire conversation in the work place with someone who is unfamiliar with the language? If you went outside of Western Civilization, would anyone care for you enough to ensure all could speak to you in your native tongue? Should everyone just get on the good foot and learn a second language, for their benefit?

How Effective/Necessary is it to Know A Secondary Language in The Workplace? Should Employers Require it?

The Alpha and Omega

Have a Great Weekend, Everyone!

Friends With Benefits

Monday, a friend of mine, Tuesday, we played a game, Wednesday, you went away, Thursday, things weren't the same, On Friday, you came back, I wanted to kiss you On Saturday, On Sunday we made love Now what are we gonna do - "Seven Days" - Mary J. Blige

I have had innumerable conversations with both men and women alike on the subject of whether or not they believe men and women can be friends. I have received different replies, many of which are resounding "YES!". And for those who do say "NO" - equally as resounding, they always do list exceptions to the rule, such as a childhood friend and/or a good friend of the family.

Now, we are not talking co-workers here, or my sister's BFF, or my brothers best friend cousin. We are talking about ongoing, lasting, and fulfilling relationships, non sexual, between a man and a woman.

There are those that take the stance that men and women, for the most part, cannot be platonic friends. They argue that, even though there are onesie and twosie examples of the exception to the rule, exceptions prove the rule. There is the belief system that for the most part, an opposite sex relationship comes from: An initial attraction that dissipated quickly (from one side) and the people continued to remain friends, OR, a situation where one pines (secretly) over another person, and continues to be that great BFF until they either think a lightbulb is going to shine in the head of the other person, or that they will have an opportunity to, for lack of a better word, penetrate the best friend from a romantic standpoint. That, male/female relationships are just one person seeing the other one as 'just a friend' and the other person, knowing that they are seen in the eyes of the their BFF as someone that is strictly a confidant, takes the relationship for what it is, and continues to develop the relationship, and enjoy the person, for how they can have them. But BOTTOM LINE, if the opportunity presents itself because, the underlying attraction is there, at least for one. . .

For the argument that takes the stance that men and women CAN be friends, they cite that communication, connectivity, confidance, and comfort break gender barriers, and you cannot help who you feel most comfortable with, sharing your deepest, (and sometimes darkest secrets). THIS IS YOUR BEST FRIEND, MAKE NO BONES ABOUT IT. This is the person that understands you, and can even provide you advice from the gender perspective that you are looking for, particularly if you are looking for relationship advice. They are the people that know about that someone special first, and are equally the ones that hear about the drama, and the pain as well about anything and everything in your life. Yes, even their arms you feel secure in, and so what if there is some underlying attraction there; the platonic relationship is valued so much more, you would never want to cross that line. And that there are truly Will and Grace's of the world.

Can Men and Women Just Be Friends?

Or Do You Believe This is A Pretense?

March Old Skool Joint

Ice Cube - It Was a Good Day
Uploaded by Macmalus

What's in a Name?

There are many things that happen when a couple becomes lawfully wedded. They move in together (if in fact, they have not put the cart before the horse already), decided who is going to take the lead in certain areas (finances, etc), and they start the conversion process of becoming one unit.

The initial purposes of a blended family name came from initially the woman adopting the customs of the home that she has been welcomed into. It was a show of solidarity and uniformity. Don't quote me, but I also know that it was also (at least with tribes) a way to idenfity certain tribes/groups of people.

With that said, with an ever-evolving change in (Western) culture and civilization we are seeing a number of different things evolving behind surnames. Here are the options. For the purposes of neutrality, I will reserve my opinion about how I feel about this until all people have commented.

Traditional - Female Surname Change: This is the most common practice of most people for many reasons - religious, historic, tradition, fairy tale-esq. Also utilized for purposes of as to not 'confuse' things, to keep in solidarity with children, and to fulfill, what is often times, a lifelong wish of many women to 'change their last name'.

Modern - Female Blend and/or hyphenation. Often times, linguistic things are lost (ethnic, only child last name) become lost in the shuffle when a woman transitions over to the husband. In a show of solidarity to the marriage, as well as recognizing keeping her heritage intact, she will elect to substitute her middle name for her maiden name, or hyphenate her last name for that reason.

Post-Modern - Keeping the Surname. Most people who do this is for innumerable reasons, many of which I could never support here. It seems prevalent in the workplace with women who work outside the home who have longstanding histories with their employer/line of work, or those that don't align their philophies with a patriach - type structure. Or, they just never got around to it.

Metrosexual - Husband changing their last name. It's becoming more and more popular, either by name change, or blending of the last names. Our very own mayor is one of those people who did this. A girlfriend of mines also indicated that her dude's brother opted to hyphenate his name because the children's names were hyphenated, and he didn't want to be 'left out'.

I have a few male readers - I would like for you to openly express how you feel about this and your reasons (if any) behind the feelings that you do have.

Females - please also feel free to express yourself. I will post my opinions after most have commented.

So you tell me, What's In A Name?

Songs in the Key of Life

Like most people, I love music. I think in particular, certain songs and/or albums paint a portrait of a particular time span in your life, imprinted in your hearts and minds forever.

But there are SOME albums, that speak for an entire generation; an entire culture. Transitional, breakthrough albums that either put people on the map at that TIME, or created indeliable impressions that, even if you put that album on TO THIS DAY, bring back memories, both good and bad, and words that you thought you had forgotten over time.

I could never, within the scope of a reasonable sized posts, go into all of my favorite albums. Truly, I had a TON of them from the 70's and 80's, but I had to really scale them down. I had to actually struggle to take some of them off, that to which I hope you include in some of your favorites.

So, without further adieu, here are some of all time favorite 'Classic' Albums.

Abraxas - Santana. I love Carlos Santana. His music, his style, and his deference to not only his culture, but to mines. You don't have to know espanol to appreciate the sounds of his music, and to enjoy what blends our cultures together - a love of music. Oye Como Va, Se a Cabo, and the Haunting Black Magic Woman are my favorites on here. VIVA Santana!









Off the Wall - Michael Jackson. BY FAR A SUPERIOR ALBUM TO THRILLER, this is one of those releases that you know EVERY word to EVERY song and enjoy them equally so. Before a commercialized, vitiligo-ized, Michael Jackson came to fruition, this fluid, rhythmic release captures and enraptures the essence of what good music is all about. And, of course, who can forget MJ bawling at the end of "She's Out of My Life?" - or sniffling, whatever you may want to call it. :P







Rumours - Fleetwood Mac. With the powerful leading lady Stevie Nicks (who has one of the most distinguishing, powerful voices of any woman) coupled with a band that, despite personal/professional drama, did nothing but deliver the goods on a release that was spirited, (Go your Own Way) Inspirational (Don't Stop Believing), and Caressing (Dreams), this is more than classic rock. This is just classic.







What's Going On? - Marvin Gaye. I remember seeing this in my home as a child. I enjoyed the music, yes, but I cannot say that I appreciated it until much later. Nor did I realize the social/political climate that this was written/produced/released in. This dynamic release is only eclipsed by the man himself, delivering us songs that are embedded in us, ring true to life even now, and allow us a snapshot into the genius that is Marvin.







Jagged Little Pill - Alanis Morissette. The first thing I heard about her was probably the first thing that EVERYONE HAD HEARD ABOUT - that she was talking about a particular sex act on one of her songs (You oughta know). Me, being me, wanted to hear the song for that very reason. And I decided to listen to all the tracks. This girl has some madd octaves. She can go from screaming like a white banshee to raspy, to sweet. I like her!








The Chronic - Dr. Dre. I don't think I have to get into much detail for this. I remember when this came out. It was smack in the middle of Gangsta Rap Meets MC Hammer Meets C. Delores Tucker Meets Commercialism, meets all things Hip Hop. With samples coming every which way from every music genre imaginable, all that is left to say is "Deez Nuts!"







BloodSugarSexMagik - Red Hot Chili Peppers. My first official foray into what I thought was hard rock, I was hypnotized by their sounds, which to me sounded like rock with an urban flair. I also think I just liked the way the moved around on Give It Away.










My Life -Mary J. Blige. The reason why I chose this one instead of "What's the 411?" (WHICH I LOVE) was for several reasons: One, I think that this was the release that took Mary J. from star to superstar. Two, I remember, I was driving home from work when I heard her on the radio promoting a CD. I promptly went into the nearst record store and purchased it and never regretted it. Three, I think that both her and I was going through many of the same feelings that she is expressing on their at the very same time. Great LP.





Illmatic - Nas. East Coast Rap at it's finest. Pure sounds. Rhythmic. He keeps it gangsta in a philosophicizin kind of way. And he hasn't lost his touch. I was working in a music store at the time this came out and my first thought was "What's up with the lil boy on the cover?" :P But this superior album works because it the subject matters blend, and come from an urban perspective. Nas.Is.The.Man.








Best of Sade - Sade. Okay. I know this is a compilation CD and I am cheat-en, but hell, I just couldn't leave Sade off. You know what she sings, and you know most of her favorites are on here. Had to be said, enough said. Bssides a had a VERY memorable valentines day with this CD playing in the background (or foreground, depending on what position you want to put me in). :P









The Songstress - Anita Baker. The first time I saw Anita Baker was on Soul Train and I was around ten years old. She had on a peach dress and she was swaying back and forth singing "No More Tears". I remember my friend's mother having this album and we played it over and over, swaying back and forth like we were here. Although I love all of Anita Baker's music, I think this one, and the limited songs that are on there, (but powerful, nonetheless), are packed full of pain, love, joy, and redemption. Furthermore, I don't know the skinny behind these songs, but I know you will NEVER hear her perform them in person, and for that reason, I appreciate them on this release more than ever.





Love Jones Soundtrack - Various Artists. See, I wasn't going to put this on here, because I know this post is already long in the tooth. . .But there are so many different artists on here (Coltrane, Maxewll, Xscape, Trina Broussard, Amel Larrieux, etc.) that I just couldn't pass by. I truly love this CD, from start to finish, not to mention the first 'song' is the spoken word that Darius drops on Nina, and the last one is what Nina drops on Darius. It's almost ten years old, but if you can find it it's worth your money.





There are so many more: The Mothership Connection, New Moon Daughter, All Eyez on Me, Appetite for Destruction, That's the Way of the World, At Last, Bitches Brew - Ooh on the TLC Tip. I could go on and on. But now it's your turn.

What are some of your favorite releases of all time?

It's Been A Long Time, I Shouldn't Have Left You. . .

What's crackalackin? I've had a long and difficult past two weeks both personally and professionally, but I'm pulling out of it.

I'll be back to you in a few. . . And that's real talk!

To give you a room with a view of what I'm going through in the wireless world from an HR perspective, click here for additional information.

Peace!

I Wanna Sex You Up

"Though your girlfriends a friend of mine

Here's my number and a dime, call me anytime. . ."

Skyy - Call Me.

Recently, a girlfriend of mines (who is a lurker but not a commenter) confided in me about an incident that happened with a good friend's husband. In the interest of keeping track of things, we will assign names:

Michelle: My friend
John: her dude
Becky: Her friend
Mark: Becky's Husband

What had happened wuz, my girlfriend and her dude had an overnight visit to Becky and Mark's house. Mark, Becky's husband, had a little too much likka in him. Michelle and Becky crashed in one room; Mark and John in the other.

Becky sleeps very very hard and Mark knows this. Without going into all the sordid details out there like that, Mark approaches Michelle at three thirty in the mutha fucken mornin drunk as all get out, commences to attempt to feel her up in her SLEEP (her breasts) and then tells her he has been desiring her for years and wants to perform on her in every way possible. He tells her that he thinks she is incredibly sexy and that he knows she is a freak, because he KNOWS she is. She is appalled, shocked, angry, everything in between. Most of all, she is sleepy, and this is almost surreal for her. She told me that he was looking at her in 'that way' that a man looks at you. He was BEGGING her to let him copulate her. What happened after that is irrelevant to the topic (for the record, she DIDN'T DO ANYTHING WITH HIM), just put it this way: She ain't one to phuck with. Her father will blast anybody who messes with her, and her uncle lives not too far from where it happened, and if she told him, would come by and I quote "snap a nigga's neck and keep it pushing". She handled her business, case is closed.

In any case, this incident triggered a lot of memories of similar incidents that have happened to me.

The first one was when I was in the eleventh grade. My friend was going out with this guy that we all grew up with. Since we all grew up together, we all had each other's personal information/addresses, phone numbers, etc. Well one day we were all on the three way (remember this was the S**** back in the day!!!!) , and she had to get off the phone. So me and dude, we kept talking. Long story short, he went on to profess his feelings for me, and asked me could we hook up on the side for some fooling around. I was authentically shocked! It took me a long time before I confronted my friend with this, who in turn confronted him. He denied it. Our relationship was strained for awhile, but after that, we resumed our friendship. She even went to the prom with that cat. Incidentally, a year later we (me and the guy) ended up scrapping over some bull****, no doubt because of the tension of all of this. In this case, I think she believed me; she just chose to get back with him.

The second incident was more on the ADULT SIDE with my friend's 'baby daddy' about ten years ago. . .I went to elementary school with HER, but I went to high school with HIM. When he was trying to reconcile with her, he was coming at her STRONG. One day he called me expressing her feelings to her about me (remember, I knew HIM before SHE did), and then suddenly there was a shift. It went from talking about her, to it's late why don't you come on by here so I can break you off, considering I had a crush on you and your big booty way back when. FURTHERMORE, he indicated that no one had to know, that we could keep in on the down low, and wouldn't that arrangement be great if he got back with her???

((insert crazy look here))

I was floored. I didn't tell her and this was why. . . Everybody had told her about that fool (and he was one). At that time, she was so blinded by him it was unbelievable. See, he had scorned her before and all she was concerned about was losing him. She had received phone calls from others (friends, strangers and Ex's) warning her of his indiscretions. She went on to five years of marriage and two more before she was truly sick and tired of him.

I have had both male and female friends indicate to me similar incidents. I know for sure, that one of my male friends had some of his girlfriend's WOMEN try to approach him on the DL because she was bragging on him being a freak-a-leek, (a definite rule breaker in my book), so she went all out on a smear campaign AGAINST HER OWN GIRL to try and get it on the DL.

Has this happened to you before?
Have you done/thought about this?
(Anonymous posts are okay)

February Old Skool Joint

This was my JAM back in the day!

Starpoint _ object of my desire

Blackout Ad Nauseum

28 Days overloaded with jam packed festivities, documentaries, dashikis, annoying office celebrations where you, the resident black girl/guy, is treated better than a field slave, a dash of kinte cloth overdosing, and links to various Mr. & Mrs. Who's Who in Black History has descended upon us.

Truth be told, I like this month, if for nothing other than all of the useful information that I get out of it - most of which is provided for us via internet, TV, radio, print media and all things where we can disseminate information provide some entertaining, and often thought provoking history into the Black Culture, and what has happened over several hundred years.

Without going into a history lesson, the purpose of what was initially supposed to be Negro History Week, was developed to bring insight into what Black Folk have brought to the table, often information which was ignored in history books. It was eventually broadened to extend through the month. Mind you, I understand the initial purpose was to inform and educate, and I truly believe there was a SEVERE need for this, and not too long ago.

However, even though I respect that media outlets that take the time to come up with creative new DNA techniques to determine what tribe you came from in the motherland, and/or providing us with a live slave narrative starring Angela Bassett, and Samuel L. Jackson, why limit it to the month of February? Why are any types of events relegated to the shortest month of the year, torturing others to participate in outside celebrations that they dare not decline for fear of being branded at the very least, racially insensitve, and at the very most, downright intolerant.

365-28 equals a whole lotta other days where all things black have happened, and are equally and important part of the fabric that makes up this country. Personally, I actually benefit from reading online many of the historical, scientific, and entertainment 'firsts' that have occurred within history; but I would prefer that this information be readily available at all times, not just relegated to the front page feel good section of "Today in Black History" on msnbc.com, and then remain virtually ignored (sans Sports, Scandal, and Entertainment) for the remaining portion of the year.

Do I think there are still some discrepancies and some funky things that go down? Hell yeah! Do I believe that people still have racial sterotypes and profiling. You dayum straight.

But I also believe that it's not just Black History - It's history. (I stole that from a Coca-Cola commercial).

Sidebar: Here's some history for yo Azz: Here is a report on the State of Black California - from the California Legislative Black Caucus.

What do you think?

100 Bottles of Beer On the Wall

This is my 100th Post!!

Y'all thought I was well past a hunnert, huh?

Thank you to everyone who has been a source of inspiration, guidance, and even suggestions. I think all of you write in your own way, and everything is colored with your unique personality, and that's what makes your blog important to YOU. Not because we read; not to titillate our interests, but because that came from your heart, and out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks.

All of us have gained new bloggers, lost a few, been privy to their tragedies and losses, joys and pain, and hell, even seen some folks resurrected from the dead.

Thanks to the regulars, the formers, the lurkers, and, everyone else in between. Here are links to some of my favorite ones: I mean, truthfully, I like all the posts; if I didn't like them I wouldn't have posted them, but you know what I mean - Kind of like your favorite outfit.

Where In the World is My Bluetooth? - Something that would ONLY happen to me!

A Bloggers Tale - Specially cooked up, just for YOU!

Turning Up The Heat - And NO, I'm NOT talking about G. Garvin.

Corporate AmeriKKKa Jargon - A Day in the life of our jobs.

Wind Beneath Your Wings - On Love

Three Years Probation - On Loss

August Old Skool Joint - My first official one.

Trapped in the Closet Chronicles - Y'all Phreaks

The Itch is Here - What do I Do? - Some of my friends are phreaks, too.

Mac and Cheese - What Would Life Be Like Without A Little Family Drama?

You know what? Forget the beer, and the Cristal. . .Pass THIS!

Holla At Your Girl. . .

Anatomy of A Firing

Dear Isaiah. . .

I think you're cute. I really do. I think you're actually quite Sexy. So do other bloggers. My first post on this site was regarding the Men I love. . .And you were one of them. I want to talk about what is going on with you and the little Faggot fiasco that's turning into your swan song of anything and everything regarding the American Broadcasting Company.

First of all, even though I don't watch your little show, it must be such an honor - and equally a laboring task, to be on the number one show on television, considering it's hard enough for us to get a role on anything. . .NOT TO MENTION: long hours, strict schedules, and a black woman at the helm, who has to answer to ABC executives. Television is marketed towards women, which is why certain women (generally Becky's) get so attached to shows like Sex and the City, Friends, and now, Grey's Anatomy. I don't, but that's because I've never been that kind of a chick.

Surely, during these laborious hours, there are heated tensions, just like any work environment. . .And during that time, things are said that needed to be left unsaid. It happens to the best of us. . .

What also happens to the best of us, is, if we pull a Latrell Sprewell on the job, and then call other people faggots, we get punished, up to and including termination, you see. Don't you know that Hollywood rule 101 is to not say anything derogatory about Jews and Homosexuals? Now, Christians, Muslims, fat people, minorities, and anything else in between is fair game. . .But then, it turned into a mini blame fest, with the character going on Ellen (who else) and confirming his sexual orientation. For the record, I do think that by TR Knight going onto Ellen and saying "He called me a faggot, everyone heard it", that he was acting like a bitch and that should have been kept in-house. . .What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas, okay? But it all kind of died down, and you were removed from the pages of Enquirer, US and Entertainment Weekly.

But then the Emmys came up. Perhaps you felt like a caged animal. Perhaps you were thinking about that steady salary that will make you and your wife independently wealthy. Perhaps you were thinking that the newscaster was hoo-banging on you. I don't really KNOW what you were thinking, but you denied something that you had previously admitted to. Then you used the word again. That's when TR Knight's BFF on the show, Katherine Heigl said that you should just keep your mouth shut. And now, GLAAD is involved. That's bad. That's like anything happening to a woman and then NOW pokes their face in the middle of it. I kind of wish you would have just sat down to be quiet and not say anything, but now since it's out of the closet, no pun intended, it's on, now.

This is about being responsible. I am unsure if all precautions were taken for you to do this. I also know that the leverage and margin that we have for error is lower than a pregnant ant, and I don't think this was exercised by you. I'm no expert, but I personally believe that worse things are said by directors and producers that would probably sting our ears. I'm no expert, so she probably knows more about this than I do. . .But overall, I think you've done it this time. You've effed up good with Mr. Charlie and Becky. I also don't believe that you give a phuck. I think your PR representative did damage control for you, and you already know that your days are limited. I think you should kiss Sandra Oh goodbye right now. I think you're either going to be replaced by a resident brother, or you're going to catch a communicable disease that's going to wipe you and your deep salary right out the memory of Grey's Anatomy. But I also know that everything has a season, and we are forgiving people; so you'll reinvent yourself, show up in a Spike Lee movie, or get cast in another movie eventually. Just not the ABC movie of the week.

I still think you're sexy. Not Hollywood PC, but sexy, nonetheless.

Love,
P

Bonus: **CLICK HERE** for a Glamorous, Pop-Couture blog post on the same subject. (Ironically written the same day, in the same manner and almost the same time as this post!)