This is How We Roll(ed)

Remember when cars were more than cars back in the day? They were status symbols. Even more than they are now. Sure, we get all of the Attention Deficit Disorder inspired children who look at cars that the current top 40 Hip Hop Artist has in their 'Cribs' inspired garages, but most of that is in excess, and even in the most Generation Y hype, they even know that.

But ah, back in the day, the place where we partaked in indulgence to the nth degree, complete with turkish necklaces, burgundy and blue black cellophanes, daytons and inky rims, feathered hair, jheri, california, and s-curl inspired looks, when we looked out in the world through our 'EK' and Laura "Ba-Gotti" sunglasses, we were often escorted (via friend, lover, or somebody's else's ride), we was rolling in somebody's borrowed, owned, or soon to be reposessed vehicle. Here are some of the more memorable cars from back in the day.


Chevy Beretta HAHA! What y'all know bout this bitch, yo. Man, my friend's boyfriend had a white one with Daytons on it. We were equally star struck as well as terrified to ride in it, considering that people were getting killed over those rims back in the day. But he would pick her up in front of the school, IN FRONT of everybody, and boyyyee!! The looks she would get. AND he had a pullout!


IROC - Z: Sheeot! That was IT, and that was ALL! I was a senior in high school and this guy that used to dig me, his name was Darnell (how played out is THAT name), offered to take me to and from work for a minute. He had THIS car with T-TOPS. When he took me to work, playing Keith Sweat in the car, you couldn't tell me a mutha fucken thang. I had a blue black cellophane, Magenta Mist lipstick from Fashion Fair, and Curved nails, with charms on them to boot, accentuated with Garnet Red nail polish. AND HE had a California Curl. I was his freak that he could show off. I think he was slanging. See below for the other car he had.



The Mini Blazer - That was the other car he had. This fool was rolling. It was blue with all kinds of what is now know as Pimp My Ride graphics on it. It was lowered with rims on that as well. He lived in Compton in cuz territory , so it was blue. I often wondered how he was able to take the IROC out for a spin and not worry about being harassed by the crips, (y'all this was some SERIOUS business back in the day), but he seemed to have no problems. Anyway, this truck was the bomb. See, you had to get the MINI blazer. The big blazer was oh, so not cool.


Mustang 5.0 - Ooh, Wee! See, now, you just couldn't have ANY mustang, yo. We wanted to know if you had a Five-Point-O mustang! And if you lied, see we could check, because if it did-ent say so on the car, then you just had some regular sheeot going on. Don't have NO european plates on them man, you were set! You were cool if you had the hard top, but if you had the CONVERTIBLE 5.0, then you were doing big thangs, big thangs, probably most of which were illegal.


Suzuki Samurai: Um, prolly in my top five list of the most dangerous vehicles ever made. Designed to kill, I say (Ford Pinto tops the list, and bringing up the rear in a CLOSE second is the aptly titled Pontiac Fiero). These cars were cool and fun, and were this close to tipping over faster than a one hundred pound man with a bottle of Mad Dog 20 20 in his back pocket. But it was cool if somebody had one.


300 ZX - Who would have thought that we would drool over the sequel to the much beloved classic 280 ZX ?? (which by the way, I would STILL roll in that bitch). This car was it, and usually was accompanied by T-Tops and some serious Pioneer - laced sounds. Rolling in this (and I did date a guy that had this car, you couldn't tell me nothing), was the epitome of being grown. PS: I dont know why I thought I was so cute in his car that sheeot wasn't mine I was rolling a nine year old Toyota Cressida with the automatic seatbelts that potentially could render you unconscious if you weren't paying attention.


The Legend: Yes, that one. The Acura Legend. I personally have a conspiracy theory regarding this car. I believe that they knew that I would just be too sexy for my shirt, to drive this car, and before I could get out of college, they discontinued it. I also believe that the executive or upper management personnel that were responsible for making this decision were eventually managed out of the business, because this is, in my personal opinion, far and beyond, the very best car they have EVER made.

What were YOUR cars back in the day? Did you have one? Or only DREAM of having them?

Fabulous Flashback!

The Five Heartbeats

The movie, the Three Faces of Eve, talked about the different personalities that people display. This movie, in particular, talked about it in the manner of personality disorders. But y'all know I ain't crazy. (Well, at least the VOICES tell me that I am not crazy). HEHE.

With that said, I think all of us have different 'sides', if I may to our personality. That's the beauty of being human. We can become chameleons without being fake. And there, is, often a need to have different sides of a personality to react accordingly to your conditions, circumstances, and personal and professional relationships. As you should. There is a time to be agressive, a time to be submissive, or kitten like, or even a visionary. And according to Michael Gerber, we have the ability to have many professional personalities, at least within us, we just have to learn to balance them out. So, here are my Five. . .

Tricia: She is the playful one. She is the one that is humorous, studious, mildly timid (in a careful way), and is open to trusting everyone. This is the one that doesn't take things too seriously, and always makes sure her i's are dotted, and her t's are crossed. Tricia is in everybody's business! Tricia's preferred profession would be an attorney.

Patricia: This is the romantic. The visionary. The one that can get caught up in the clouds. Patricia is the one that hears "Come Away With Me" and could totally get caught up into the song. Patricia is the one that loves chick flicks, believes in love at first sight, and is extremely vulnerable and emotional. (If y'all tell anyone this Imma raise hell). Patricia loves and loves hard. She could live on a boat with the one she loves shelling shellfish for the rest of her life. This is the girl that could sing "Midnight Train to Georgia" and mean every word of it. Patricia is a bleeding heart compassionate. Patricia loves to write. Patricia's preferred profession would be so over working. She would be a grifter.

Trische: (Prounounced Trish): Trish is the sexpot. The tri-sexual "I'll try anything once" kind of chick. The one that is bout it bout it, and pulls out all the bells and whistles when necessary. The one that likes it, likes it good. The sex kitten that comes out the box at the drop of a dime, and puts on a show and knows that "Tonight What Heights We'll Hit. . .On with the Show this is It" type of day. She's the sexpot that can take them or leave them, and leave them wanting for more. Trische's preferred profession would be to marry well and look cute all day.

Pat: Pat is a hot mess. But not in a good way. Pat's bark is actually worse than her bite. Pat's pokerface is on 24/7 and she is usually the one that comes out if things are not going right for Trische, Tricia, or Patricia. It's a barrier, giving the pretense that everything is okay. Pat is dependable and take charge. Don't play with her, but dependable. She gives it to you straight with no chaser. She is NOT warm fuzzy, but she's deliver the goods. Maybe not packaged the way you need them, but packaged nonetheless. Nobody knows Pat's business. Pat's profession would be anyplace where she can delegate. Not in a tyrannical way, but some where high profile where she would end up winning an Essence award or something.

P: P is new. P is a pop culture, history, political, spiritual enthusiast, who is laced with double entendre's, tongue in cheek comments, and hidden meanings in everything. P gives her two cents which turn into 25 cents. P is an entrepreneur that doesn't take anything too seriously (Just like Tricia). P is counted on to give good, objective advice, and opinions. P doesn't like her current job and is actively seeking another one. P would like to write or own a bookstore or be a historian on PBS. Looking like a teacher/whore with glasses on.

Have you seen any of these in me?

What are your Heartbeats and many faces?

News Stories From The Archives of K-PAT FM

I love news stories and the facts regarding history and the events leading up to what made something, in fact 'History' - Traumatic or Otherwise. . .

But there are particular stories (besides the obvious - 09/11, etc) that I remember. The unfolding and the events after it. Some of which become embedded in our hearts and minds that last forever. It could be a personal story, or a national story, ripped from the headlines, or just some basic drama, which I personally LOVE.

Just so you know: Most of these stories (sans two) are pre-internet/email/cell phone boom. So they were particularly riveting because you had to wait on information, and when you did get it, it was heavy in weight because there was so much to say. So, without further adieu, there are a few in particular that stick out in my mind. Shout out to That Girl for telling me about Photobucket)


Atlanta Child Murders - Man, oh, man, oh man. Atlanta, Lynwood, no difference to me. I stayed in the house for most of that summer (living IN CALIFORNICATION) over that sheeat. I was scared-ded, TRUSS! All I knew was that somebody was killing little black children and that was enough for me to play with my easy-bake oven, colorforms, etc right on the inside of my house. And the porch was a STRETCH. And when they found that (insert little girl voice) "bad, bad man" was put in jail. (Needless to say, we know the REAL Deal regarding Wayne Williams and how janky that investigation went).

1989 San Francisco Earthquake. I remember I was on my way to Junior College then, getting ready for school. And they showed the picture of a freeway. Initially, when looking at the freeway, I wondered what the big deal was, it looked only as if the freeway collapsed. Upon further inspection, I found that yes, the freeway, did INDEED collapse, but that it was a double decker freeway, and one had fallen on top of the other, killing everyone under there in a vehicle. Even now, looking at the freeway, because it was smashed so closely together, it's a painful site to look at. I remember all day I couldn't get my mind off of it, because I couldn't believe something so devastating had happened so close to my home. For those of you who have never seen this, look closely. What looks like one freeway is really one smashed on top of the other. I remember the only fortunate (for lack of a better word) thing that occured regarding this was that it was a Monday, some holiday, I forgot which one, and the freeways were less crowded than they normally would have been.


McMartin Abuse Scandal. I wasn't but about ten years old when off of this started going down. Everyone was terrified. All kinds of ritualistic allegations were brought to the attention of the courts. It ripped apart a nation, tore down innumerable pre-schools, and took a a family (McMartin), down a long and shadowy road. It was one of the first modern day examples of what Mass Hysteria can do, even in the interest of protecting beloved children. There was an HBO special not too long ago that chronicled this story. The case went on for YEARS, no one was ever convicted, and all charges were dropped in 1990.


Whitney and Crack. Crack and Whitney. From the illustrious singing career on the path to legendary status, to being reduced to "Hell to the Naw" on Bravo's Being Bobby Brown, the decline of Whitney Houston before our very eyes is equally painful and amusing (in a sick kind of way) to watch. We went from believing that she was MAYBE smoking some sticky-icky, to us thinking "Is this girl really smoking?", to "Crack is Whack", to "What the Eff?" Ah, the perils of Whitney Houston.


Loving and Losing Aaliyah. I don't believe I realized how very much an Aaliyah fan was until she passed. Thinking about it now brings tears to my eyes. The video, Rock the Boat is especially haunting for the obvious reasons. Somehow looking at the video, it's beautifully haunting, particularly at the end. I'm not trying to glamourize her death; but I can't help but look at that video and think of so many things while watching it. I couldn't watch it the whole way through for over a year and even now I don't particularly like watching it. I can imagine how her family must feel. She wasn't a songwriter, but she had a particularly pure voice that I loved, and love to this day.


April 29th Brought Power to the People - And You Might See A Sequel. Don't know about you, but everyone OUT here remembers where they were when the verdict was read, and the Los Angeles Rebellion began. I personally was at home that day, didn't have to go to work, or to school. My mother was at the funeral of one of her best friends. And to hear that verdict - It was surreal, it was painful, and prolly my first full twang of recognizing that my life had no value with the LAPD, particularly to the residents of Simi Valley. Then, the news came on. Even though I did not physically live in LA, I was once a resident of Los Angeles, and My college was right in the heart of Los Angeles, and they shut down for the remainder of the week. It was mass hysteria out here. And the newscasters didn't understand that it wasn't a riot. Yes, there was foolishness, and there was terror, but there was pain. Probably not manifested and carried out properly, but I understood. I understood that they put the national guards in areas that they didn't want touched, like Brentwood and Beverly Hills, but what we did, well, that was a different story.


Space Shuttle Challenger Explosion

I was in the tenth grade, and my Algebra I teacher brought the TV in so all of us could see the launch and liftoff. We all knew that a teacher, Christa McAuliffe, was going to be on flight. He was especially excited about that. So we watched, and we saw the liftoff. And we just watched.

And then it happened.

But it was like 'it' didn't happen. Anyone who has seen images of this remembers how we felt. This, too, was surreal, and as a 15 year old child, in a class with other students waiting for the other shoe to drop, the other punchline, waiting for the teacher to tell us that everything was okay, that something had just happened, but it will be okay, was an experience that remains embedded in my mind forever. It was tragic all the way around. The world was riveted.

Are any of these near and dear to you? What news-making stories Do YOU remember the most?

100 Thangs About P

Since I have had to stand up to claims that I am a (ahem) private person, I decided to do this post. I was not tagged for this so I won't return the favor. Actually, I didn't think that I would be able to fulfill this task because I did-ent think that I would come across a hundred things without repeating how fine and sexy I am. So, without further adieu, here are 100 thangs about P.

I am the youngest of five children
I am allergic to raw tomatoes
I would like to be a philanthropist, and give most of my wealth away to good causes.
I am the victim of a crime
I love the Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf
I love Crime Shows, Books, and Crime Audio CD's. My Favorite: "The Patient", by Michael Palmer.
I can recite Friday, Beverly Hills Cop, Boyz in the Hood, Kill Bill Vol 2, and Five Heartbeats almost verbatim
I do not have a very close relationship with my family. (Trust me, those that say that it’s usually THEM, but my family is crazy, you already know of one).
I am happily heterosexual
But I do occassionally have girl crushes
I have lots of skeletons in my closet
I am NOT bi-curious or bi-sexual. Look up girl crushes you effen freaks.
I have irrational phobias
I never sit with my back to the door of ANYTHING.
I don’t really eat pork, the other white meat
Not into new age stuff
I budget my money VERY well
I get nervous around people who do NOT budget their money well (I feel like they are spending my money)
I have dated a few NFL players - but the black pilot was the most impressive.
I am a good cook
I am aware that I need to adjust three major things in my life which will remain nameless
I don’t eat TUNA of any kind, under any circumstances.
I want to run the Long Beach or Los Angeles marathon in the next two years
I love the obituaries
OJ and Rodney King cases turned me off from wanting to become an attorney.
But OJ and Rodney King cases defined my writing and journalistic skills
I have had several letters to the editor published in Ebony Mag, LA Times, and the Local Long Beach Newspaper
I would rather be a US Marshall with a Battering Ram busting into a door.
I would also rather be taking survelliance pictures, a la “Cheaters”
I just now feel grown up, in my dirty thirties.
I am in two magazine apparel books modeling and one hair book that will never see the light of day because I think I look ridiculous in them.
I was Little Miss Sugar and Spice 1976 (Little Miss Lynwood), and a runner up in the Little Miss California Pageant
An agent wanted me to do commercials but my mother intervened saying she didn’t want a drug addicted child star, or something like that. Geez.
I swallow gum (Yes, I’ve heard all the stories – I’ve been doing it since I was five).
Have been told that I am an excellent public speaker; and can speak impromptu or planned
I am terrible in math
My major was criminal justice
But I don’t think that’s what I’m going to get my grad degree in. I keep starting and stopping (Organizational Development, MBA, HR, Criminal Justice) – I really don’t know.
I photograph very, very, bad and have to pose myself and take a picture several times for it to come out right
I am an extremely private person (NOT secretive, PRIVATE).
I am planning on learning Italian
I played the flute for seven years
I have missed church service six times in as many years.
Not a fan of Beyonce, Halle Berry, Kanye, and bringing up the rear, Jamie Foxx, for no other reason I don't really like the whole overexposure thing.
I want a wedding but am not sure if I want to be married.
I have a dry sense of humor that some get and others don’t.
I work in a drama-filled environment that is never short of BS.
This is the longest job I have ever held.
P loves the dark meat
I am a direct descendant from the line of Alexander Palmer Haley, and Nannie Helen Burroughs
I have a big mouth but a soft voice
I am a closet bleeding heart
But I’m not anybody’s sucka
I LOVE CHILDREN
I am huge on personal responsibility and get weirded out with people who point fingers at other folks
I have never gotten high
I do not smoke cigarettes, either
I don’t drink, but have been influence by peer pressure lately
I am obsessed with visiting the Cayman Islands
I have never been on a cruise, but will be going in about a year.
I did not learn how to swim until I was sixteen
I’ve done “it” in the parking lot of my job several times.
I used to be a collegiate cheerleader (if you tell ANYONE I will kill you)
I went to Barbizon Modeling School in my teens. It was an interesting expensive experience
I wear heels all the time
I am very observant – usually NOTHING gets by me.
I have only had two REAL boyfriends. (But a lot of fun times in between!)
I care about black folks (everybody, really, but this is previous-post based)
My job really gets on my nerves
I want to own a bookstore.
My mother has an invention that can make her (and me, as her ahem, CHIEF OPERATING OFFICER) at the VERY least extremely well off and at the best the potential to make her a multimillionaire. Currently working on getting patented, etc.
I was a DJ in a former life, didn’t pay enough chedda
I would have liked to be a medical examiner (coroner)
I am a devout, backslidden (yes, I know that’s an oxymoron) Christian trying to find her way home.
A lot of people call me for advice, but I try to stray from that, because I have a tendency to get wrapped up in a Captain Save a Ho Mentality
I am unsure of what I want to be when I grow up.
I have been told I look like three celebrities, none of which I look like. Plus, I couldn’t take the credit these women are way too good looking
I can fight VERY WELL
I know how to horseback ride. I’m not on my way to the Olympics in the Equestrian events or anything, but I do okay
I love the Opera
I like Classical Music, but do not buy it
I buy all of my CD’s from Half.com
I was introduced to blogging by That Girl
I think My Space Sucks. It’s NOT a place for friends.
95 percent of my friends/associates are: Police officers, Attorneys, and Probation Officers.
I’ve considered a run for political office, but would prolly end up with a case for participating in too many fisticuffs
Latino men love me. Not sure why
I have a gag reflex that prevents me from putting foreign things in my mouth (Shut the “F” up, Tam), and I usually have a very difficult time choosing toothpaste, mouthwash, and such. The dentist hates to see me coming, because they can’t X-Ray me like other folks.
I like all kinds of movie genres and activities.
I am a chameleon and can adapt to any set of circumstances
I had NO HR experience when I got this job
I am still trying to figure out how I got here.
Most people are intimidated of me (not in a “I am woman hear me roar, just like they thing I’m the boogie woman or something). Not sure why
I had sex with my friend’s husband on accident. (Aw, stop laughing and/or get that look off your face. Long Story, but it really was on accident)
I am writing a book (now whether or not I finish it is another story)
I was tossed (well ran out before the police came) out of a Burger King in Long Beach ten years ago. (Another long story but it wasn't my fault)
I didn’t get rid of my pager until 2002, when I was sure that cell phones were here to stay.
I will not be telling you anything else. Ever.

So, what are some THANGS that you want to share about us? OR, any comments on the above in question?

Black to the Issue

Does anybody care about black people?

Again, I generally prefer to leave the social commentary stuff to the experts, but not today. And before I even get started, let me qualify my statements. This editorial is posed not for folks that have particular preferences (Hell, my preference is Michael Jordan) - but for the deliberate shunning of one particular group based on preconceived notions. Excuse me in advance for going all over the place on this post, it just came out that way, so I decided to give it to you straight with no chaser.

I was talking to a friend of mines on the phone. Let me give you a little backdrop about him. Prior to having a relationship with me, he didn’t date black women for seven years. He was hurt by one (terribly – she swindled him for 15K for child support only to find out on national TV that the child was NOT his). After that, he engulfed himself into the Spanish culture. He listens to Salsa Y Merengue, Cumbia, all that stuff. He loves the Spanish language and its culture. No problem. Hey, I like to consider myself fluent myself, considering I can sing De Colores, Vaya Con dios & Como La Flor without any assistance. (HAHA). Yeah, I crack myself up. And if you look up the historical information from Cumbia, Reggaeton, and Salsa, you will note that they take their musical influences from black culture, and they will readily say that it comes from the blaxican, Central American, Egyptian, African rhythmic beats of the drum. So, they are who we are. Ellos son quién nosotros somos - They are who we ARE.

The challenge that I have is when the comparisons start to be made. Not directly, but indirectly. None of this stuff has been directly said; it’s been based on my interpretations why he avoided black women for So.Long. Now, he does readily admit, that, his PREFERENCE is for black women. He thinks black women are beautiful. He adores them in the highest, and even, has made excuses for their sometimes (overly aggressive) behaviors to others, because he believes they have been dealt with a very harsh hand. Listen, I’m not telling you anything that you don’t know. Often times we do have aggressive behaviors. I didn’t say ambitious, I said overly aggressive, and if you think about some of the people you know, I would think that you would concur with this statement. Frankly, if I were a fella, I wouldn’t want to muddle through a lot of that, either. It doesn’t mean that I wouldn’t. Y’all already know what I would do if I was a brother. But what I brought to his attention was that: (And when I say latin, I also mean Asian, I just got lazy and didn't want to type both of them).

If a white woman gets mad, she doesn't take any mess. If a latin woman gets mad, she’s saucy. If a black woman gets mad, she has an attitude.

If a white woman cleans and cooks, she is traditional. If a latin woman cleans up, cooks, and breaks you off she knows her "role"; if a black woman does it, she has an ulterior motive.

If a white woman is sexy, she is "HOT". If a latin woman is sexy, she’s just sexy, if a black woman does it, she’s hot and a whore.

If a white woman gets a man with money, she plays by the rules of money/status/comfort. If a latin woman gets a man with money, she just gets a man with money; if a black woman does it, she is a gold digger.

If a white woman does what she needs to do, she follows the legacy of her mother getting what she wants. If a latin woman does what she needs to do to snare a man or get what she wants out of him, she has jenesequa* (Spelling is horrible, but y'all get it). If a black woman does is, she’s playing games and is manipulative.

If a white woman demands something, she is seen as someone who can handle herself. If a latin woman demands something, she holds her ground. If a black woman does it, she’s stubborn.

Did it take JLo to recognize that it’s okay to have ass? Does it take Salma Hayak to say it’s okay to have tiggo-bitties? Does it take Jessica Alba to say that’s it’s okay to have big lips? Not to us, it didn’t.

This is not the first time I have heard this. Granted, I do believe (ahem) that some black women are abrasive, obnoxious, rude, and are downright unsubmissive. I SAID SOME, NOT ALL, AND NOT MOST. I don’t mean submissive in the weaker vessel since, please spare me the lecture; I only mean submissive in terms of capturing the essence of what it means to be a women, or what it means to preserve your sexiness (see excellence post on Nisa Ahmad). I do believe that. It doesn’t matter for WHAT REASONS they turn out to be abrasive; only that they are. That will be addressed later.

One of the things that we did agree on is that the Hispanic and Asian culture has worked to preserve their culture, their heritage, their familial strength, their music, and all other means, whereas (and there are always exceptions to the rule) we were thrown to the wolves, particularly the western black folks, considering they pulled an Amistad on us several hundred years ago, and as a result, robbed of being bi-lingual, in fact, and thrown into a society where we have NEVER been what’s hot on the streets. At least from a cinematic perspective. Sure, there are your resident Denzel’s Halle’s and Will's that will grace the screen. But for the most part, we have been relegated to a minority, literally and figuratively, on the news, in entertainment, and yes, even in the mating process at times.

Even Greg, the resident Dumb MOFO of the year, indicated in a conversation with me, that maybe he should try and date a Latina. I corrected him and said Um, No, maybe you should date someone who is not going to f uck you with no Vaseline is what you should be worried about, not her ethnicity.

Even at my job, I see it happening. We have a market specifically target (and this may be for geographic reasons) that literally and figuratively caters to the Hispanic market. It caters to them. We have a diversity staffing manager, and a diversity coordinator whose design is to recruit and attract bilingual talent (read: Hispanic). Sure, there are people who speak Spanish who are not LATIN, but I’m sure one of the very readers of this will actually confirm with me that the majority of people that she calls have latin like surnames.

It is difficult to explain how I understand what he feels but it doesn’t mean that I don’t feel awkward about the entire situation. I think that in our independence, we have, indeed lost some of our femininity, some of our softness, some of what attracts a male to a female. Yes, I know there are things that have not made males attractive to females, but I am not talking about them right now. But that has been by force. Often times we had to based on the circumstances that faced us. Poverty (or fear of it) single parent dwellings, the inability to be vulnerable because your life was ALREADY in a vulnerable state. The ineffectiveness to distinguish between being open and loving, versus being a sucker, which are not one and the same. Once again, If I were a good guy, I wouldn’t want to get through some of the barriers and walls that black women have.

BUT

I do know that we are ride or die chicks. You may have to penetrate through the Great Wall of China to get to us, but when you do, babee! If you are good to us, we are going to be three times as good to you. We will cut a mutha fucka over you, male or female, and we’re going to make you promise to US, that we will make it back in one piece. He was telling me “Well, that’s really not your problem because you understand the dance and the game” And I said “perhaps it may not be MY problem, but if I see that there are differences being made between who I am then I do take note and heart to it." I love being who I am, and wouldn’t change that for the world. I understand that all cultures have issues. Because I believe they do. White, Black, Asian, All of them. But that’s just what they are.

And what is MY issue? Preference is one thing. Stereotyping is another. And I'm not having it. With my own culture, or with another's. And what the hell, don't all of us have a little "In-Di-En" or " Cre-O"in us, anyway. We all family!

In fact, I know that it runs across the board. In talking to a co-worker, one of our latino counterparts, (and his brothers), do not date LATINO women, and WILL NOT. He told her, in fact, that he would NEVER date one, because they are too 'ghetto' and they gossip too much. Now, we know that is not the case for all of their culture, so that is an unfair statement he knows better. He sits around a Staffing Specialist, Staffing Manager, Legal Secretary, and Paralegal, and all of them are MEXICAN women, in particular. This fool grew up in Bell and any LA person knows that Bell gets DOWN with the brown pop.

Sidebar: I've got a problem with white boys/girls that won't date white women/men, either. AT ALL. That's creepy. But that's not what I'm talking about right now, but I just wanted to throw that out there. What the fuck is wrong with folks liking who they are.

Now, Black to the Issue:

How have you dealt with the stereotyping of your culture? White, Black, Asian, Hispanic, or Other?

Live, and Black in LA, this is P, reporting to you from K-PAT FM, the Pattyopolis Network.

How To Keep Your Job

If you're interested in keeping your verifiable source of income, from an HR Perspective, do NOT:

Buy personal concert tickets on your corporate credit card.

Purchase a brand new CLK when there is a grand total of 78K missing from the deposit slips when you were on shift each and every time closing.

Over the course of several years, get mad, say "I'm done, I quit", and then stalk off and leave and come back and say "I'm just playing, I'm not mad no more". (Sidebar: And GET mad when we (er THEY) term you out the system.

Break up with the guy in sales after he buys you a new pair of twins, and then wonder why he's so frustrated.

Steal money from the safe, indicating you have cancer, and then we check the records and find out you have full medical insurance, then admit you need the money for rent.

Play pocket pool in the lobby foyer of the corporate offices, pointing the "pool stick" at women who pass by.

Close the shop up for a few hours to go across the street to watch the playoff games, leaving a sign on the door indicating “If you need us, call ((insert bar name here))".

Buy the entire call center section that services your department (30 plus people) lunch and pass out “Jesus Loves You” buttons.

Go out on workers compensation, saying that your manager is racist against black folks without looking at the picture of her BLACK husband and BI-RACIAL children plastered on the walls.

Get Mad at your schedule, tell your store manager “Meet me outside in five minutes”.

Bring your wife and child in while you work on the weekends to hang out in the managers office, eat, and talking on the phone.

Borrow 1200.00 from an Executive, telling him you did-ent get your check, (when you did), and are nowhere to be found when it's time to re-coup the money.

Get free lunches from the cafeteria for yourself and your friends because you are the facilities manager.

Look up celebrities cell phone numbers and call them to see if it is, in fact, "Them".

Smoke the Sticky-Icky right before you come back from lunch.

Use the company-issued gas card to buy candy and treats at the local gas stations.

Pay your phone bill with a customer's credit card.

This is how you keep your job. Cocoa Girl on the job also gives you tips on how to know when you are going to get the boot.

What do you think about this list? Any interesting fiascos happen on your job that were the kiss of death for others - Maybe even you?

Live (and back, bitches) in LA, this is P, reporting to you from K-PAT FM, the Pattyopolis Network.

After These Messages, We'll Be Right Back

The Offices of K-PAT FM are temporarily closed. P is going on site to our national operations center. She was "volunteered" to go via the C.S.S. (Corporate Slave Ship) she toils (er, works) for. Thanks for the CSS Moniker, Sup!

In short. I'm going on a "bid-ness" trip. I'm trying to be like Supastar Nic always going on bidness trips and all. K-PAT will be out of circulation for a while. My flight LEAVES at 6:32 AM how whack is that - AND I have a middle seat, super booty. You may find me trolling and commenting on posts, but I will not be posting all through next week.

(PS: Isn't this chick's hair WHACK!?! I got ty-red of looking for a picture so I chose her).

P's Out.

Sister Vs. Sister - Favoritism In the Family

My sister has a very passive (yet aggressive) personality. She is very easily influenced, and she can tell a story better than a sinner on judgment day. She has told a many tall tale, that included everything from she was robbed on a subway (lie), that when she was 21 the reason whey she was so broke was she had to pay my mother 800.00 for rent (another lie), as well as her favorite: "I don't know why (fill in the blank) said I took (fill in the blank). I didn't steal anything!"

In all fairness to everyone involved that I'm about to speak on, my sister tells these incredible stories that will pull you in faster than the Titanic sank to the bottom of the Ocean. They are truly believable. The only possible way to not believe a word that she says is to be around her for several years. I'm starting to think, that even she believes them herself, maybe that's why they sound so good! :P

Because of this, my sister has gotten more free passes than a 13 year old girl gets with R. Kelly. Everyone has always made accommodations for her as a child, and excuses, saying "Well, she didn't really mean it", or "She isn't like YOU, she needs more help.

Well, who said that I didn't need any help?

My paternal great aunt was the WORST! She would take my sister shopping and she would come back with a trunkload of items. Wouldn't get me a thing. And.We.Were.CHILDREN! If in fact she HAPPENED to take me, she would always say "Make sure you pick something up for your sister, we don't want to forget her". Granted, I wasn't her warm close personal niece, I didn't like her and she knew it. Hell, what nine year old would like a woman with a million cats in her house, hid my fathers mistress, and told my mother that I was too light to be my dad's daughter, hello. Prolly didn't help I told everyone her house was a mess. :P ! But see, my aunt was manipulative. And so is my sister. So they got along VERY well.

But my father was even a culprit. He would send my sister (a full time WORKER who had enough money and then some to take care of herself), hundreds and hundreds of dollars at any given time, often monthly, and didn't send me a thing. At that time, my sister was 25, and I was 19, going to school full time, and working part time. Again, in all fairness, my sister was calling him telling him tall tales of paying exorbitant rent to whoever she was staying with at the time, so he would send it. He never sent money to me, and would often reference the parable of the prodigal son. Are you kidding me? Who wanted to hear that as a 19 year old broke as a joke child? Not me.

Now, my mom? She didn't really make apparent differences, but she did go out of her way to do things for her, as of course, a parent would do. But as I became an adult, it would get on my nerves. Only now, considering my sister has been M.I.A. for over four years, and only calls to get her birth certificate (Sidebar to new readers- Go into archives and read the birth certificate saga), I think my mother would be firm with her. (I guess).

My sister seems to think I'm the favored child. In fairness, perhaps that is why she acted out, perhaps not, just playing devils advocate. I seem to think that she is. Maybe that's why I tend to get frustrated when things like THIS happen. In fact, if I have gotten into into it with my parents, I have even said in the past "I'm sure if You.Know.Who had this issue, it would be a BIG DEAL!"

Now, I am astute enough to know that parents feel differently about each and every one of their kids, and that's subject to the relationship they have with them. I know there are different feeling for each child, even though the love is there for all of them. I know this. However, things that I witnessed were deliberate, intentional, and obviously (at least according to my interpretation) slanted in her behalf. But that's my eyewitness testimony, and anyone worth their salt knows that eyewitness testimony means nary a THING!

Disclaimer: I was not a traumatized neglected child; not in the slightest. But I DID feel that differences were made with my sister. I DID.

K-PAT FM is going to open up this topic to the readers: I'm going to open it up to the readers:

Do You Notice YOUR behavior with your children? Is it there, but you suppress it? Did you experience this as a child yourself? With any of your friends/family? Teachers - I would be especially interested in your take on this, particularly in a classroom setting and how that affects you on a daily basis.

Eye of the Beholder?

The classic Twilight Zone Episode, "Eye of the Beholder", profiles a young woman, desperate to belong. Desperate to be included as just normal, in a society that views her face as non aesthetically pleasing. She has endured, at that point, several operations to remove what she sees as her facial deformities. She has been isolated accordingly in the society and yearns just to belong. Her most recent (and according to the doctor, her LAST) surgery, is the last ditch attempt to finally belong. Anyone who is a twilight zone fan, knows the outcome of this story. In short, the woman is drop dead gorgeous, and in fact, the people who are treating her, as well as everyone else in this futuristic society, look absolutely horrendous (according to us).

That leads me to the question. Does size matter? Oh, um, we're not talking about that, wrong subject and wrong blogger - I must be near my cycle. Now normally, I don't segway into these philosophicizing culturally sensitive topics - I generally leave that to the two experts designed to handle those types of requests. But sometimes, in the pipeline, the owners of K-PAT FM have to interrupt regularly scheduled programming and discuss the elephant in the room topics that others speak on so well.

Does.Beauty.Matter? To THEM? To US?

We take great pride in taking care of our bodies, our faces, and our minds. Yes, that is to be expected. Most people in this world try to do two things: Look good, and avoid looking bad - both personally and professionally. They are NOT one and the same. So, we take the appropriate measures to ensure that we, often times, look head and shoulders above the rest. This can include

- Waxing (Or Threading) Hair, Nails, Facials, Gym Memberships, Exfoliating, Toning, Keeping up with Trends, Carb Crunching, Fat Counting, Gloss Buying, Tanning (well, for our melanin - challenged readers), and a partridge in a pear tree. And any other cosmo-lucky mag, vibe vixen, inspired technique to get purty.

Brother's I have not left you out. In this metro-sexual driven culture where men's grooming styles are no shorter than any cast member of Queer Eye, you, too, are expected to aesthetically please on both the physical, and the financial front.

Before I go into my spiel, I want to say that there are always exceptions to the rule; however, exceptions prove the rule. With that said, aren't receptionists generally attractive? Are the people that work in marketing, or business to business sales physically appealing, if not in face, in dress, body style? Are the retail employees that work at Bloomingdales, Charlotte Russe, and a You-Name-It store on Rodeo Drive attractive? All the girls at hot dog on a stick have a great ass to waist ratio? Do all the men that work at Fed-X, UPS, have nice legs, abs, and bodies (Lawd, thank you, YES).

Are the employees that work in customer care, finance, quality assurance, and other non customer facing jobs more likely to be, (as society deems it) less physically pleasing those in the other categories mentioned above? That doesn't mean that you don't come across your residential foxes, but likka said - always exceptions to the rule.

Us included. Men and women are attracted initially by the physical possibilities. But are the physicalities subject to the interpretation of the interpreter, or not? Yes, I know we all have types, and I know that there are universal pretties and fineness, like MY MAN Isaiah Washington, Aishwarya Rai and the like. But, are we too, not only subject to beauty being in the eye of the beholder, but also perpetrators of such behavior?

We used to teach a class at the company that I work for called behavioral interviewing. In, it we used to provide them with the measuring criteria on how to rate someone on whether or not they were a suitable candidate for employment. Time after time, we received pushback on how they looked (piercings, tattoos, height and weight, etc), as opposed to their general qualifications.

"Now the question comes to mind...where is this place and when is it, what kind of world where ugliness is the norm and beauty the deviation from that norm? The answer is: it doesn't make any difference. Because the old saying happens to be true. Beauty IS in the eye of the beholder, in this year or a hundred years hence, on this planet or wherever there is human life, perhaps out among the stars. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. A lesson to be learned...in the Twilight Zone." - Rod Serling

So - IS beauty in the eye of the beholder? Subject to the interpretation of the interpreter? Of just a social construct designed to eradicate where true love lies - where life lies - at the soul.

I think everyone has done it, and everyone has been susceptible to it. So with that, K-PAT would like to open up the airwaves to the audience. Open Forum.

What other jobs do you think that "Attractive" people get, versus "Non Attractive". Have you perpetrated this on a regular basis? Have you used your manly/feminine wiles to get something you want because you knew it was admired? Do you think this is an active practice - from a hiring and personal perspective - Anything goes!

Burying the Hatchet - Open Letter to UOP

My personal friends and family all know I've got beef with the University of Phoenix. No particular reason, just one of those "It Was Written" moments of this is what I do and don't like about this or that.

Before I get started on my rants, I want to apologize for anything in advance I say to anyone who goes here. The opinions that are represented here are the views of K-PAT FM, the Pattyopolis Network and are not necessarily those of Blogger and it's subsidiaries.

This weekend, I attended the graduation ceremonies of the University of Phoenix. The events leading up to and including the graduation only fueled my Death Wish of this school.

The event was at the Anaheim Convention Center , a humongous monstrosity of a complex. I drove up and HAD.TO.PAY.FOR.PARKING. I'm like ain't this a bitch. I was sweating bullets (literally and figuratively) because, I already KNEW that I had to pay for my ticket and had less than twenty in my purse, but I found this chick slanging tickets while I was trying to park in the sweltering parking lot - and I got it for three dollars off.

At the Anaheim Convention Center, if you don't get a parking spot close to your venue, you have to walk a full country mile just to get to your location. Me being me, wore these four inch high heeled BCBG pumps. (Hey, it matched the halter shirt, pants, and lip gloss it all went together okay?)

It was standing room only. I had to almost get the Teamsters union involved in getting a seat, jockeying with this Mexican chick who tried to hoo-bang on a half of row of seats, waiting for her family from Tijuana to arrive. I was like "Listen, this is the here and NOW, when they come I will move", and promptly planted my black ass right on the corner seat and looked at her like What. This only added fuel to my personal drive of taking the UOP down. The element of folks that was there was unbelievable. People shoving, yelling, slanging teddy bears and balloons for a million dollars a pop. The graduation ran by with the force of a sister running through the rain with no umbrella, hell if I would have blinked I would have missed it.

But through it all, I saw a friend, who has NEVER been able to finish anything that she started; a friend who went through one junior college after another, only to quit mid semester, and, at best, one semester. Granted, I am still not interested in the power-point laden, study group driven, real life experiences that the school offers, but this graduation was a BIG deal to her, and if it was a big deal to her, then dammit, it's a big deal to me.

Yes, the heat walking a country mile to and fro from my car wreaked havoc on my wrapped coiffure. Yes, I ended up scooting over to accommodate the girls family who finally arrived from Mexico. The man that I was sitting next to couldn't decide whether he wanted to watch the rest of the ceremony or look for my bluetooth. And it's all because of you, UOP. But for now, I am extending the olive branch. I have a personal vendetta against you, yes, and I rank you with the likes of Bryman and Barbizon (these are local schools, y'all). BUT, for my friend's family, to take pictures with her, to see other families who were happy and co-signing with their families, was well worth it.

Cost of Parking at the Anaheim Convention Center: $9.00

Cost of the Ticket at the Anaheim Convention Center: $7.00

Cost of a fourth a tank of gas going back and forth with air conditioner blazing: $15.00

Going to a school graduation that is publicly traded on the NASDAQ: Priceless.

Live from LA, this is P, reporting to you from K-PAT FM, the Pattyopolis Network.

K-PAT Songs of Seduction

I love music.

It moves me, soothes me, fills me, and also seduces me. There are some songs, that no matter how many times you hear them, they fill you with an intense desire to. . .participate in extracurricular activities.

What songs lull me to seduction? Glad you asked. Without further adieu, here are the songs that K-PAT FM enjoys listening to on the airwaves:

Don't Say Goodnight - Isley Brothers. Now, this is not Isley "Between the Sheets" or Isley Jasper Isley, or Mr. Bigg type of Isley Brothers. This is Isley from the T-Neck (what y'all know about that) years. These are the songs that many a child, I'm sure, was conceived on, present company prolly included. This particular song just reminds me of old school house parties that I was not allowed to attend, where folks was up against the wall grinding on each other. The way this song starts out just moves me to eroticism.

One In A Million - Aaliyah. What is it about this song that makes me want to get on a stripper pole, I dunno. But it starts off where you are dayum near taking off your shirt. I miss terribly the pureness of her voice and the fluidity of her lyrics.

Come Away With Me - Norah Jones. The lyrics of this are so haunting, yet so idealized, it puts you into a trance. It's a song that sings of a freedom that most of us do not have. She purrs about no one getting in the way of their love. They can live off the land, and she will write songs for him, and they don't have to worry about nothing and no one. You can hear in her voice the wanting, yet the knowing that it will prolly never happen.

No Ordinary Love - Sade. Now, I say this with a disclaimer. Picking one song from Sade is like asking a condemned prisoner to pick their poison. How can I choose? I love and breath Sade music like there is no tomorrow. But for the purposes of this, I chose this one. There have been many occasions where I have been frustrated, sad, and all I had to do was here the pulsating few seconds of this, and I was ready for anything and everything, usually at that point wanting to be seduced - that is what we are talking about, right, right?

Your Body's Calling - R. Kelly. I have always had a penchant for R. Kelly's music. But the yearning and longing in his voice that I hear when he sings sounds like someone who wants and needs to rescue someone from their agony of, well, being horny. This too, is a song that brings visions of wrapping my legs around a pole (pun intended), but definitely not around him, I'm like twenty years past his expiration date on females. By the way, doesn't R. Kelly look absolutely rithickulous on this picture?

Adore - Prince. Little known fact: This song was never officially released as a single. Was a B Side song that caught the ears (and captured the hearts) of MANY a fan, present company included. This song brings it to the table, you need not even deal with someone on this song unless you are ready to turn up the heat and be bout it, bout it.

I have hundreds more, (Lutha being one of them, but that was another pick your poison type of thing, and I got lazy) but these are the ones that come to my immediate forefront. But K-PAT wants to hear from you. I'm interested in what white chocolate soul is going to say.

What are some of the songs that heat up YOUR airwaves?

The Wind Beneath Your Wings

I don't do new age.

Let me repeat myself for the sake of clarification. I.Don't.Do.New.Age and the catch phrases associated with them. I'm not into anything new. As a matter of fact, because I personally believe that there is nothing new under the sun. Now, I DO do progressive, that's an entirely different subject.

With that said, after numerous conversations with a good friend, concerning current issues with our friends, things we have experienced and felt (and still feel), I firmly believe in the connectivity factors one associates with finding your soulmate and/or twin flame.

I believe there is a difference between loving someone, being in love, and finding an incredible connection that exists spiritually, mentally, physically, and is dayum near sacred. The connectivity factor that exists without words, crosses language, ethnic (though P, like others, loves the dark meat). I full on believe that many, many, times, because of other factors that are in place (distance, economics, another spouse, children, etc), the relationship does not pan out. Often times people say, if someone is for you, then you will end up being with that person.

Not necessarily true, in my humble opinion. Here are some people from movies, that I believe, the couples demonstrated soulmate-like traits:

• Same Time, Next Year
• Love and Basketball
• The Good Earth
• Message in a Bottle (the end of this movie was wack. I was traumatized for days)
• Forrest Gump
• An Affair to Remember
• The Notebook
• Ghost
• Jason's Lyric
• Coming to America (hehe)

I can go on and on but you get the point. Don't you?

The point I am saying, is that I believe that there is this intense emotional, spiritual attraction that you have to a person that transcends the physical realm. You can't imagine what it was like NOT knowing them if you have experienced this, and if you haven't, you can't imagine feeling this way about ANYONE. You hear what they hear. You feel what they are feeling. You know what they are thinking. You know what to say, when to say it, and why to them, and vice versa. You wake up in the middle of the night and you know it has something to do with them. Sometimes you will tell them something or they will tell you something later and you're like "I knew that", or "Oh. . .That's why I felt that way". It's incredible. And sometimes overwhelming.

In our day to day relationships, the love that builds can become strong, comforting, and, to a point, more stable than the love we have for our soulmates (if, in fact, our mate that we have now is NOT our soulmate). However, there is that one, that feels when you feel, knows when you know. If you have seen any of the above movies, you will know how these feelings oft times transcend any and everything. Every wonder why you feel what you feel when you see these movies?

Do you believe in Soulmates? Do you have one? Are you with them? If not, do you think about them? Do you see or talk to them sometimes?

Due to the nature of this broadcast, K-PAT respects your privacy and will accept anonymous contributors. (But the suspense will kill me and the viewing audience).

AMW - Artists Most Wanted

This just in: After several years of struggling and digging for clues, we are requesting help from our listening audience. These cases have transitioned to our cold case files, and most of the evidence surrounding their disappearance are locked away at the record labels. But we believe that are best resource, the listening public, can help us crack these cases. In fact, "you can bet your last money, it's going to be a stone gas" when we get a break in the case.

Karyn White: This Superwoman, as she was known as, was last seen conducting a Secret Rendezvous with Jimmy Jam and Terry Lewis. With Numerous cassettes milling around in people's Nissan Sentra's, Blazers, and Hyundai Excel's we expect a break in the case at any time.
B Angie B: One of the more promising singers, from the MC Hammer/New Jack generation, this gyrating, flamboyant singer once ruled the airwaves with her remake of the Emotions Classic "I Don't Want to Lose Your Love". Men lusted after her, women aimed to gyrate like her. We suspect she may be traveling with Oaktown's 357 .

Gregory Abbott: This crooner came to the scene during a renaissance of R & B Music. With his clean cut Reggie Theus/Philip Michael Thomas look, coupled with that light-skin green eyed look that was the rage in the 80's, he captured our hearts and minds with "Shake You Down". Listening audience should know that he was last seen hanging out a Miami-Vice era reunion.

SWV: Known for the strong vocals of their lead singer, COCO, "Es, Double You Vee" were the performers of the women's anthem "Downtown". They may be traveling under the alias "Sisters With Voices"

The Rude Boys: These Cleveland Boys, with their strong voices and equally strong good looks, had a hit on their hands with the Gerald Levert Inspired - Written All Over Your Face. They were last seen hanging out with Portrait and Lo-Key, searching for a new record label.

En Vogue - Literally and figuratively, born to sing, these girls were our future. Our living womanhood. Looks, Body and Voice, these triple threat women stirred the loins of every man, the admiration of every woman, and were the forerunners of a group that they could run circles around, Destiny's Child. A reliable informant indicated that were last seen trying to get out of their contracts with Denzil Foster and Thomas McElroy.

Jodeci: So much crack, so little time. As the record sales stacked up, so did their popularity. One of the more sexually charged groups of the nineties, the antics of the background player (Devonte), created as much energy as the lead singers K-Ci and Jojo. They were last seen doing a little bit of everything.

Guy: Another leftover from the New Jack Swing era of music, Guy featured the likes of brothers Aaron and Damien Hall, and producer Teddy Riley. After tickling our ears with the danceable - "Teddy's Jam", and "Groove Me", they equally surprised us with more low tempo songs such as "Goodbye Love" and "Piece of My Love". At least one of the band members, Teddy Riley is on the run, as he has sought shelter with Wrecks N Effect and Blackstreet.

A reward will be offered leading to the re-sign and release that these artists will drop. For further information, Please contact Democratic Representative William Jefferson.

If you, or someone you know has any information on the whereabouts of these artists, or any other missing artists, please contact P at KPAT-FM, the Pattyopolis Network.

And So We Commence

Aptly titled, this was episode that was the swan song, the final foray into the series that rescued sitcoms from the depths of despair, the Cosby Show. Needless to say, he should have waltzed off with Clair Huxtable into the sunset and kept his ass there, because now he's getting on our nerves the same way OJ Simpson does. Sit.The.Fhuuck.Down!

Usually, I don't delve into the social commentary sector. Not because I don't enjoy it or cannot express myself accordingly, I just leave it to the celeb-couture social commentary expert who has it on lock.

But this mutha fucka (thanks Phoenix for letting me borrow the term) is getting on my nerves. I want to break down his commentary as he gave the Keynote speaker address for Spelman College's graduation. The Title of the Speech (as interpreted by KPAT): "Black.Men.Ain't.Shit."

You know the routine - Black is Cosby, Pink is K-PAT FM.

"It's no time for you to play any more" (WTF? Who says that they ARE playing? Obviously they are not, if they are standing in front of you for a commencement exercise).

Instead, he urged them to become entrepreneurs, to fix what's wrong in their communities and to properly raise and protect their children. Fix is a bad, bad, word. It is not a woman's job to FIX anything. That's like telling the parent of a drug addict to fix the drug habit. It is the job of both women and men to seek out the help that they need in order to make a change on their own. Change comes from realizing your possibilities, and leaving the past behind you. The core of it comes from so many other variables. He all but said fix the socio-economic, anomie-strain issues that lie in the forefront of disadvantaged communities. SIDEBAR: That doesn't mean that everyone who is from a disadvantaged neighborhood can't make it happen, so spare me the details).

"I want you to spread the word," "It's your time. You can't back away from it." ? It's whose time. Why does there have to be a 'time' for anything. Does he believe that anyone that goes through the trouble of 4-6 years of a collegiate education is going to squander it? Of course there are always exceptions to the rule, but exceptions prove the rule. Everyone talks about education, education, education, and if education is the key, and we are smarter than we ever were, why is the world worse off than it was socially fifty years ago?

African-American women college graduates, he said, have no choice. The continuing plight of black men makes it necessary for them to take charge. "Men as young boys are dropping out of high school, but they can memorize lyrics of very difficult rap songs and know how to braid each other's hair," Cosby said, drawing laughter and applause. It's nothing funny about this, so I don't know why this everyone laughed, and worse off, applauded. And why is he showing out in front of company? He all but sliced off a black man's balls with a machete, and ground them up in a Jack La Laine Juicer, and served it up to the graduating class of women, some who already have classist mentalities about our men.

Cosby's remarks echo others he's made around the country urging African-Americans to assume more responsibility for fixing the problems that plague their families and communities. (Fhuucck you, Dr. Huxtable. You need make sure you sweep up under your rug and handle your own current state of affairs)

With that said, let's talk about the elephant in the room.

I, by no means, am a male basher. Never have been. I would have to say that the generation of my fathers, in some respect, failed their families. For whatever reason. Whether it was machismo attitudes, drugs, violence, infidelity, irresponsibility, or any combination thereof, there are some things that were lacking and lost. But there were also men that were just that, men that didn't allow for excuses, and financial acumens, and other variables to take away from their manhood, and did the best they could with what they had. (James Evans, anyone?)

But what disturbs me about Cliff Huxtable's comments are that when he talks, I think about this child, and this one, and this one, and this man, and this one, and I know that some of our men are in a bad state. But MOST of them are not in prison. He didn't verbalize that right. There are disproportionate amounts of minorities in prison based upon the population percentile they occupy in society. That's a bold faced lie.

He talks too.damn.much. I don't see him opening any facilities that are dedicated to supporting and guiding the male to be in a leadership capacity. I don't see him contributing financially to:

- 100 Black Men
- Morehouse (Though he gave a substantial (20 million) amount to Spelman
- Boys and Girls Club

So, put your money where your mouth is, bitch, and run us some money.

(PS: My anger was actually triggered not by me, but from a discussion that I had with my friend, who agrees that he should have said it. Three years ago, she would have thought different, but now she has a hair up her ass and is 'graduating' from college in two weeks and thinks her sheeat doesn't stink). And any one who knows me personally, knows how I feel about THAT school!

Live, and Pissed from LA, this is P reporting to you from K-PAT FM, the Pattyopolis Network.

Trois - Update on The Itch Is Here!

As mentioned in a previous post, "John" was interested in having a threesome with his wife and another woman from her job.

K-PAT FM has just received word that the itch has been scratched. Now I ain't one to gossip, so you ain't heard it from me, BUT I figured that all of you would want an update on what occurred with "John".

Like to hear it, hear it goes: (Black is "John" - Pink is K-PAT FM)

I did it over this weekend - what we had talked about

Hmm. And your thoughts? You want to talk about it? How is everything?

:) :) :) Everything was and still is lovely. I could not make it in yesterday. WORK!!!! MAJOR WORK!!!!!! We did not stop until Monday afternoon about 2 o clock. We started out on Sunday night!

Hmm. Thats interesting. And you plan on doing this again?

Might be tonight - her and the wife are going to Vegas for a few days so she is staying the night over our house tonight. Because they fly out first thing tomorrow morning.

Do you think that they are going to be doing a little something something while they are out in Vegas? Has the missus ever did something like this before. Has the girl?

Yea they are planning to do a lil something down there. Nah she has not done anything like this. Nah the girl has not either (that's what she says) Oh yea everybody enjoyed it. We all talked about it and she made a lil comment on how it was a long night!

Was it an anything goes kind of night? If you know what I mean?

YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ANYTHING THAT YOU CAN THINK OF EXCEPT R.KELLY TYPE OF STUFF! I just had a FLASHBACK! YOU SHOULD HAVE SEEN YO BOYEE BOYEE! MAN IT WAS SOME SERIOUS STUFF GOING THAT NIGHT! SHE JUST TEXT MESSAGE ME WHAT'S UP DADDY! THEY READY TO COME HOME TO DADDY!

Which one said what's up daddy? Do you think ole girl is going to come back to the house with her?

Baby girl just did - not the wife. She MORE than likely will. She likes what I kicking! Boy if I could tell you some scenes of went down you might even blush! J JUST NASTY! I COULD NOT LOOK MYSELF IN THE FACE AFTER THAT! Man we went through soo many bottles of water up in there! It was MAJOR!

End of Email. . .

When I talked to him over the phone, he indicated to me that they went out and listened to some music, and then went out to dinner. Then they came back and was just 'kickin it' on the couch watching a movie. The wifey went into the kitchen to get something to drink and by the time she came back it was crackin. And so the story goes. And he is right, some of the stuff he told me messed my little virgin innocent unexposed ears up, so I will spare you the details.

End of story, right? Wrong. . .Thing of it is. . .

The 'other' woman keeps texting him, saying they should hook up on the side. She works with his wifey. He doesn't know what to do. And she keeps raving about his performance.

Sidebar: While his wife was in Vegas, he kept calling me at creepy hours of the night (2:30, 3:00 AM). Negro, please, do not get me caught up in your Trapped in the closet, part V.

**EDIT, EDIT EDIT** Just got an email that the mistress, or whatever you want to call her, sent him a card and some flowers thanking me for a fun night! She came over to the crib and was just chillin yesterday laying all over their bed. She told him she feels REAL comfortable around them. Also, on Saturday Night, when he and the wife and lil mama was coming home she told his wife: "Just have 'John' drop you off at the house first since you are tired and then have him drop me off last… "and the wife was like “ is you crazy!?!?!”

What do you think? Do you think this will ride (pun intended) into the sunset? Or has Pandora's Box been opened?

Live, (and feeling kind of sordid) in LA, this is P, reporting to you from K-PAT FM, the Pattyopolis Network.

Who We Be

Mother: 1 a : a female parent b (1) : a woman in authority; specifically : the superior of a religious community of women (2) : an old or elderly woman2 : 3 : maternal tenderness or affection.

Mother's day is not just for the obvious. It's also Happy Mother's Day To:

- Women who have given birth, either by natural, or caeserean

- Mothers whose children will never live to see the light of day

- Mothers who will never live to see their children in the light of day

- Women who have lost children through spontaneous abortion (miscarriage)

- Women who are barren with bodies unable to support children - Children that exist only in the heavens & their imagination

- Sisters who have stepped in an become mama-an adult in a child's body

- Babysitters/Nannies, and Child Care Workers

- Surrogate Moms

- Ladies that drink the babies (hehe)

- Childless by choice women who have made other children their priority

- Grandmother's who have taken in their grandchildren because of drugs, death, etc

- Girls who play with their dolls daydreaming of a happily ever after life

- Women who have escaped from the nightmare that was once a dream come true

- 'Step' Mothers who mother those children as if there are no steps

- Aunts/Sisters/Other who step in where the mother left off - or never was

- Mothers who are disabled and cannot have full charge of their children

- Nurses who stay up and hold the children that are terminally ill

- Volunteers who hold the children at orphanes when no one else will

- Women who ache for the child they lost long ago, through death, natural causes, or abortion

- Childless women who caretake and give advice to her friends and family on an on call basis

- Co-workers that take on a mentor to help them out

- The WCBH - and the X-Chromosome Factor

- Mothers who have lost their children to the streets

- Women of the spiritual order (Nuns) who have given up their material lives for others

- Mothers who are incarcerated

- Mothers with incarcerated children

- The teacher that gave the child money to go on the field trip, because their mother couldn't afford to

- Fathers whose children have no mothers

- Mothers whose children have no fathers

- Godmothers who spoil their godchildren

- Teenage mothers who don't know how the hell they ended up that way

- Mothers in Iraq unable to be with their children

- Mothers with children in Iraq

- Mothers of the civil rights movement

- Girls scared (and smart) enough to turn their children over to adoptive parents who will love them forever

- Women who are brave enough to adopt the child that a woman did not care for

- Women in law enforcement and other public sectors who look out for the best interests of children (Officer, Judges, Social Workers, Attorneys, Politician, Pediatrians)

- Women who have chosen to care for the health of a child (Pediatrians/Obstetricians)

All of that means:

Happy Mother's Day to YOU!

All of you, who have made a difference in someone's life!